• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,156 Views, 1,145 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 17 - Safety Concerns

There seemed to be many entrances leading to the interior of the colosseum, all of them placed a few feet next to each other as arches. Mr.Rich led you down one that led to a set of stairs and took you through a tunnel leading to the bleachers.

“So, erm...Is this free or do ponies have to pay to get inside?” You ask

Mr.Rich cringed harder than ever after hearing that “Y-yes...Not that I don’t mind none, generosity is somethin’ I’m known for...but... Oh mercy, I really hope this all goes well.” Mr.Rich then looks at you. He looked worried and even desperate. “Anon, I really am counting on you in aweing every pony who will be attending. Not just for the wife’s sake… But my own. Ah don’t want to say nothin to put on the pressure, but the entire family line’s reputation is tied to how well you do tomorrow.”

Christ, seriously? “Mr.Rich, calm down, it can’t be that dire. It’s not like any of the princesses are attending or anything, it can’t possibly be that bad.”

Mr.Rich gulped “...Try two princesses…”

Wut? “Two? Uhhhhh, you mean like. Maybe Twilight, since she’s already in town, and err…”

“Princess Celestia…” Mr.Rich said with a gulp

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WHAT IN THE FUCKING SHIT?! Celestia?! How the fuck did she get Celestia?! Hell, how did she get Twilight at all?! Is she insane?! God! Never mind that Twilight could possibly be annoying, but Celestia…

Celestia. She wasn’t too bad in small doses, but her overbearing nature to care for all her subjects over anything else always seems to put you in a dark light somehow. You were nearly stunned to even know she’s coming.

“Interesting…” Discord said as he tapped at his chin. “Now, I could imagine our dear Princess Twilight was suckered in with some sort of book donation, correct?” He guessed.

Mr.Rich nodded “To her school, to Cheerilee’s class, and to the schools in Canterlot...That was also rather costly. Good g-guess, Mr.Discord.”

“Well, I am good at that. But I wonder, how in the wide wide world of Equestria did your wife nab our ever warming sun princess?” Even Discord couldn’t figure that out. “Especially on such short notice”

“The way the wife explained it might just surprise you. She ran into her in Canterlot when she was hiring workers. When the princess asked her why she was hiring so many, she told her about Mr.Anon’s final exam, and asked if she could attend. Wife didn’t even have to make any sort of deal, the princess just said yes. Don’t that beat all?” Mr.Rich tried to think of that as a positive. If you do well and the princesses were impressed, it meant he could dig himself out of this little financial hole his wife put him in.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

She was going to fucking watch you! As in, she was going to evaluate you like she has done in the fucking past! Holy fuck! Why can’t she mind her own goddamn business?! What made this so special to her that she had to come down to see it?! She had no reason at all to come bother you, not one fucking reason! You weren’t hiding anything! You weren’t doing anything evil! Holy shit, her coming down at all for this was worse than anything Discord could muster up. “I-interesting..I-I’ll really have to do well, huh?”

“Come on, Mr.Anon, don’t be getting shaky voiced on me now. Mnnn, well, here we are. Take a gander at that, boys” Mr.Rich said as you all reached the bleachers. He waved his hoof and pointed to the obstacle course in the middle of the colosseum.

It was a field with nine obstacles. Rainbow Dash had told you ahead of time what the obstacles were going to be, and that there were only going to be eight. But this? Only the first four obstacles in the course matched what she said. The hurdles, the tires, the mud trench, and a climb up a very steep board. The other five is where the fucking money went as it looked like some japanese game show in terms of an obstacle course. There was a tube with poles stabbed into it, it had a bend in the middle and rotated at a semi-slow speed. That bend would cause the center part of the tube to be of higher and lower altitudes within it’s spin. What, did they expect you to get through that shit without getting sick?

The next wild obstacle was a wall that looked like it slid along a track when pushed. You could see the workers pushing on it hard, with the obstacle suddenly jutting backwards with a quick thrust every so often. Given their nods, it was supposed to do that.

The obstacle after that were three platforms suspended over a small moat. The middle platform stayed in place as the other two orbited around it in a clockwise and counterclockwise spin. It seemed you had to use the two platforms to reach the middle quickly, wait, and then when they realign on the other side, quickly jump to the next obstacle.

The fourth was two tight walls going straight up to the final obstacle. Holy fuck! Did they expect you to fucking wall climb all the way up? STRAIGHT UP?! Oh geez…

And the final obstacle was a large circular arena, with a statue of a dragon that rotated about, shooting fireballs about. But it had something in its claws, something that was… “Is that a doll meant to look like Diamond in a princess outfit?”

“Ahrm, yes.” Mr.Rich seemed to have some embarrassment about this. “Missus felt the rescue of said doll would be an appropriate end to this thing…”

“Hmmm…” Discord noted the fireballs “And are those flames real as well?”

Mr.Rich nodded “Mhmm, didn’t feel too right about that one. Seems dangerous to me.”

You just scanned the bleachers for a moment, and spotted two royal seats on the other side. Goddammit, they even had their own little spot to watch the whole thing. “Yeah, I’m not worried about something like that.” You were too focused on Celestia’s eventual presence to care about a little flame.

“Well, it’s not just about you, now is it? Ugh… This whole thing is a mess!” Said a commanding voice from above. You all look up to see a rather pissed off Spitfire, garbed in her captain’s shirt. She didn’t have any shades, made sense since it was night. She slowly landed in front of Mr.Rich and started poking her hoof at his chest. “And you! Really? Real fire?! And what’s with those crazy obstacles, huh? That’s not safe at all for foals! I’ve been wanting to have a chat with you all night, Mr.Rich, because this? All of this is just too much!”

Mr.Rich took a few steps back in surprise, and a little confused to what she was talking about. “Miss Spitfire, e-ern, What seems to be the problem with some of them obstacles?...e-erm, aside from the last one, of course. J-just to let you know, it was the missus who commissioned them”

“Have you seen the tube? That’s not regulation at all. Sure, a properly trained recruit could get through something like that with practice. But a foal? If they lose their balance in there they’ll bash their head on one of the poles when the tube’s bend points up!” She then points to the wall climb obstacle “And what about that one? Sure, with the spinning platform they’ll land in the water below. But if any of them lose their footing on that thing, BAM! They could land on their head on the platform below and it’s lights out for sure! And again... The use of real fire. We appreciate the contribution to the academy, Mr.Rich, but I can’t just sit here and let your wife have her way. These need to be changed before tomorrow, for sure!”

Discord snickers at her words as he puts his arm around her, it doesn’t take long for her to push it away as she looks at him suspiciously. But of course, he doesn’t mind that. “Spitfire, Spitfire, you say all that as if it’s a problem. This is Anon, my son. At this point, I think Equestria would be crushed by the folding fabric of reality itself if him bonking his head somehow was a problem.”

You just silently narrow your eyes at Discord for a moment. But he was right, especially since none of that seemed tough to you. “He’s right, Miss Spitfire...erm..Captain Spitfire, Ma’am. I beat the Storm King, remember? And a dragon too!”

“As if I don’t know about the horn. Look, Anon, I’m not going to say you aren’t capable. Considering me and my team...ahrm, couldn’t beat him, it’d be hard for me to believe you weren’t able to beat this course despite half of it not being regulation. But it’s you and a filly out there, on a course you both haven’t even had any practice for. Even if you BOTH get to the final obstacle, those flames are real. I don’t want anypony responsible for scorched foal, you hear me?” Spitfire explains to you. Yikes, you thought she would have been all for this in the first place. But she seemed really concerned for you and Scootaloo’s safety. Come on, it didn’t look that fucking bad.

“Captain Spitfire, ma’am. I’m no ordinary colt. I have dealt with stuff much MUCH worse than some obstacle course, horn or no. Besides, Mr.Rich has already invested a ton of money into this already, having anything changed now would be too costly. If the course is too much for either me or Scootaloo, we can tap out… Or, you could just be responsible and pull us out if it gets too rough or something. I mean, that's what adults do, right? Make sure us foals don’t overdo it?” Your expression is slightly cocky, but you meant what you said. You both could be pulled out if it got “dangerous”. And with the amount of money spent already, you didn’t want Mr.Rich to suffer any more stress.

“Kid… I have managed obstacle courses and special training machines for as long as I’ve been captain of the Wonderbolts. I don’t mind a little rough n’ tumble, that’s fine. But this kind of course was made for adults, not foals. And even if I was ok with it, there’s still the fact the final obstacle could make foal fillet at any time.” Spitfire does her best to explain to you.

Mr.Rich looked a little ragged as his mane started to come apart slowly. He was not a greedy miser, but it really did seem like he could calculate the costs, and it didn’t seem too good for him if this wasn’t a success. But he also had morals, and didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

But Discord slithered along Spitfire’s side, and looked at her closely eye to eye with one of his creepy sultry looks. “Are you forgetting that it’s really his wife that you have to deal with? She’s the one who wanted all of this in the first place. And given I know she’s made quite the contribution to said academy, I don’t think it’d be in your favor to complain.” He then poofs away, and reappears in front of her, looking away from her as his tone became more serious. “And even if you’re correct. You forget that very powerful beings, such as myself, will be attending tomorrow. Yes, I know, that in truth, that the final obstacle is so risky even our rich benefactor is having doubts of how safe this all is. But, Captain Spitfire, could you risk the wrath of a social elite who has been humiliated by her vain and shallow company because you wanted to make changes? What about your fellow Wonderbolts? Come now, I will personally keep a close eye on our two trainees to make sure nothing runs afoul. That way the crowd gets their show, you know the foals are safe, and you Anon...will be able to do what is expected of you.” He says as he looks to you with a wink. Heh, now that was cool. He was on your side.

You looked to Spitfire, who seemed to now be in deep contemplation. You could see she didn’t want anything to happen to the academy or the Wonderbolts. And in truth, even you could tell she was mostly worried about the damn dragon obstacle. Anyone would if it involved real flames. But you were sure things would be fine. “Captain Spitfire, Ma’am, it’ll be ok. Isn’t that right, Mr.Rich?” You look to him for reassurance

Mr.Rich was contemplating things himself. He wouldn’t mind telling his wife himself that this all was too much. And he certainly didn’t want to put foals in danger. But he just knew no matter what the outcome, someone was going to get screwed due to how much of an investment his wife put on this emotionally. He looks to Discord, and gives him a hard stare, having to know the truth for himself. “Mr.Discord, are you sure you can protect Mr.Anon and Miss Scootaloo? I have your word as a businesspony?”

“Of course! I can bend reality, space, and sticks of rubber to my will! How hard can protecting two foals during a silly training exam be? In any case, I can assure everypony here that they are in good hands. So, Spitz McWorrypants, anything else to complain about?” Discord turns back to Spitfire, internally feeling pretty good of granting you this solid.

“Fine… If it’s gonna keep everything together, and you really can do it, then fine.” Spitfire put her hoof to her face and shook her head, she felt this was a mistake “Ugh, can’t believe I’m allowing it. Anyway, I have one last thing to mention, but I’m gonna go get Dash for this one, since we both kinda have different opinions on it.”

And so Spitfire lifted off and flew down, under the large platform with the dragon statue. Was Rainbow Dash there among the workers? Maybe she was checking things out.

And what other thing could it be? You wondered.

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