Dadonequus Discord (Book 2)

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 169 - Discussions among Friends

Why did it bother you? As you and your friends continued into Ponyville, giving passerbys pies, making friendly chit chats with one another, your thoughts couldn’t leave the possibility that Cozy might be connected to the Storm Ravager. But, why? How could that even be a thing? Every time you think it is a possibility, you come up with a rational reason as to why it isn’t. So if it isn’t, why does it irk you that it possibly can be? She’s an innocent filly, he’s an evil king, it’d make no sense and…

“Hey, Anon, I got a question.” You feel a grasp of talons on your side as you are gently shaken. “If you’re here to answer it. You alright?” Gallus asked, noticing you a little distressed due to your thoughts.

“Wha?” You shook your head and looked over to Gallus, giving him a false but sincere smile. “Yeah, yeah, just kinda zoned out from the pie giving. What’s up?”

“Well, it’s kind of a tough question to ask. If you’ve ever been to Griffonstone, you’d know friendship isn’t really a thing we’re interested in. Yeah, yeah, I know I have you guys and all. I get it, I get that, so my question is what do you think about us? I mean griffons and yaks. You never seem to talk about your thoughts much and you kinda seem to not really wanna hang around me and Yona.” Gallus asked. And, why did that even bother him? You didn't take him as the type to care about that.

“Gallus, hey, you’re not feeling lonely, are you? You still got us! And like I said, Anon is usually busy all the time. Do you see how many friends he has? I know if I had that many, was a hero, and lived in the chaos dimension, it’d be hard for me to juggle friendships too.” Sandbar tried to answer for you, in an optimistic sense.

“No, I get that. And, no, it’s not because I feel lonely. Trust me, being a loner was my thing before I even showed up in Ponyville. Ok, I was trying to not be so on the nose, but fine, let me just ask the question in the way I really mean. Anon, do you just have a crush on Silverstream, Ocellus, and Smolder? I’m just asking because it’s weird and I already know you got a marefriend. Really, what gives about all that?” Holy shit, that's what he meant?! Fuck! Were you that obvious?!

“Woah, is that why Anon likes to hang out with them so much? Does Anon also have crush on Cozy Glow? Yona wanna know!” Yona, curious, and demanding to know just to try to understand it, peers over to you, staring directly into your eyes… Until suddenly. “But wait, if Anon has crush on them, then why doesn’t Anon have crush on Yona?”

Sandbar suddenly started to twitch at the accusations, worried. Did he think there was some truth to the accusations? Or was it something else? “H-hey, guys! What kind of questions are those?! Nopony is like t-that!”

You gulped. Goddammit, yes, you get little attractions here and there. But fuck, you were loyal to Diamond! You haven’t made a pass on any of them. And dammit, Yona, what can you even say about her? You’d never make a pass at her, despite her personality being kinda cute, she just didn't have 'the look'. “S-sandbar is right, think about it. I kinda already knew Ocellus already, same with Smolder, I met them before I became a student at the school. Same goes for Cozy, which might I add, just needed a lot of my help. As for Silverstream, c’mon Gallus, she always wants to hang out with me for my hero stories and stuff. So wouldn’t it make sense that I hang with them the most, with only it being a coincidence that their girls? I mean, hello, have you looked around? Almost everycreature is a girl.”

Everyone stops right there for a moment to look at each other, before Gallus just shrugs. “That makes sense. Weird, now that I think about it, there are a lot of girls.”

“Yona agree, but Yona also glad Anon don’t have crush on Yona. Because there would be crushing when Anon and Yona cuddle, and Yona don’t want that to happen.” Yona said. Christ, cuddling? As in, a friendly snuggle cuddle in bed? Yikes, thinking about it and how easily your bones broke, you couldn't imagine that strength and weight passionately hugging you without your ribs sticking through your chest. But as you thought these thoughts, you started to hear a ringing in your ear, ending the conversation immediatly.

“Yeah and… Ah, wait wait. Getting another call, gimme a second.” You tell the group as your codec goes off.

“Man, your dad is kinda needy, this is like the sixth time he’s called you. Is he ok?” Gallus asked, seeming a little annoyed by the fact you’ve had to excuse yourself for status updates on Twilight.

“Yeah, he’s just, uh, working on a project and just needs my input. Trust me, this isn’t usually a thing, I promise. I’ll be right back.” You tell Gallus as you begin to inch backwards.

“Ok then, I guess we’ll scout around for a few more ponies to give these pies to.” Gallus said as he waved his talons to beckon Sandbar and Yona to come along with him.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! What’s happened now! You just had to know! The moment you got away from the group, you ducked between some trashcans next to one of the many cottage-like homes of Ponyville and clicked your codec. “What’s up this time, Discord? Oooooh, anything juicy?”

“You’d think so, but actually no. Things have, however, taken an interesting turn of events.” Discord said, with focused interest in his tone.

“What, did they force Twilight out of the room or something?” You asked, curious as to what he meant.

“Not at all. Here, take a listen, it might interest you more than it does even me.” Discord said as you suddenly began to hear Rarity’s voice.

“...So, that’s it then. I believe this is the beginning of the end for Tommy. If I have been understanding things correctly thus far, this barbaric act of taking out one of their own, namely, one who is ‘made’, is similar to the consequences one pony would face if they too did such a similar act. In fact, if it truly matches everything I’ve ever read, this is the point where everything goes wrong for everycreature in that group. What are your thoughts, Twilight?” There is silence for a moment. “Twilight? Oh dear, are you still rattled by this? It is only a film, Twilight, and if I can speak for myself, the shock value has already lost its impact. Yes, such acts of violence are still terrifying, but Twilight, really, you should have become used to it by now.” Rarity said.

“I dunno, Rarity. As interested as I am in seeing this, that was pretty brutal. Twilight, you’re not imagining ponies doing things like this, are you?” Starlight asked.

Twilight’s voice was a little shaky. Considering the brain bug shit, was she still having trouble adjusting? “I-I am. I’m not going to stop watching, and I don’t mean to act so timid, but girls, just watching this just makes me wonder what kind of influences Anon had back in his world. It’s difficult not to think about, it actually makes me feel… Worried about him, it makes me think that maybe there’s a part of him screaming for help, a cry we just never noticed.”

“What? Twilight, hold on, you’re looking waaaayyyyyy too much into this.” Starlight said.

“Indeed, Anon is merely a child. Other than the fact that his parents shouldn’t have allowed him to view such material so early in his life, I happen to think he’s quite well adjusted.” And as Rarity said that, there was a sudden dead silence, something that must have spooked her. “Starlight, Twilight? Are you both alright? Did I say something wrong?”

“Oh no no! Right! Anon, child, of course!” Starlight said, with an audible gulp.

“Haha! Yeah, what was I even thinking. Erm, um, Rarity! Um, you also mentioned you figured out what the term ‘Turn on’ means. Mind, er, filling us in on that?” Twilight said, nervous as all hell. Oh boy, did Twilight not understand that either? Did she really shift the conversation to the meaning of sexual arousal? Ha! And Discord said this wasn't juicy. But what gives with Twilight thinking you were screaming for help? Bah, she was being too sentimental.

“Ah, yes, ahrm. Now, as ladies, you may not like what I have to say, but I do believe it means to be ‘attracted’, in the sense of being, well, how do I put this in an inoffensive manner?” Rarity said, as she stopped herself in thought.

“It means that she wants to go to bed with Henry and do ‘sexual’ stuff to him, or him to her, or, er, I forget. The queen explained it to me once and-Gyah!” Suddenly, Scrappy lets out a yelp as all the girls, aside from Starlight, gasp in surprise. “What’s wrong?!”

“Scrappy! My word! You are in the presence of ladies! That kind of talk is not something you just say as casually as you just have!” Rarity said, utterly shocked.

“Scrappy, y-you already know about all that? You… Haven’t said anything like that around Applebloom, have you?” Twilight asked, hoping deep in her heart he hadn’t.

“Oh no no no! I never talk about human things to Master Applebloom. She’s even asked sometimes, but I know not to say a thing, as I am her protector! It’s why I would EVISCERATE Anon if he ever mentioned stuff like that to her. Hey, I used a big word, that’s how you use that word, right? I learned it from the Queen too.” Scrappy said, ignorant, and happily.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t done that to Anon already, if that’s the case.” Starlight muttered to herself.

“Scrappy, why would Anon ever say such a thing? As far as I know, he is quite the gentlecolt. What? Is this something he has said before?” Rarity asked him, before probably noticing the looks on Twilight and Starlight. “Why are you both looking away from me like that?”

“Oh, er, because it’s, er, shameful to even… Think that?” Starlight said, another gulp coming out of her. “I mean, we know Scrappy, always wanting to crush Anon in something.”

“Yes! Because all glory must belong to the Apple family! All hail Master Applebloom!” Scrappy announced, probably with a salute.

“Right… I often forget about that odd grudge you have with him. Ahrm, that being said, let us continue with the documentary, shall we? It is rather long, and I’m sure we all have things to do.” Rarity said, feeling uneasy all of a sudden.

“Bwhahahaha! Never mind, that was hilarious! Eviscerate, he says. I must agree with Starlight, even I’m surprised he hasn’t turned you into a frappe yet. And poor Twilight, poor poor purple princess. You’d think she’d be over the violence by now, but it still seems to get to her.” Discord said with a cackle.

“Hey! There’s no way Scrappy can beat me! I don’t even need the horn, I can beat him without it.” You shout. “He’s dumb as hell, remember?

“I somehow think he just lets you think that. Tell me, if he is so dumb, then why have I never heard the word ‘Checkmate’ come out of your mouth?” Discord said with a lowly chuckle.

“Because!... Because… Man, fuck off, what does that have to do with anything?” Fine, Scrappy was good at chess, that didn’t mean jack shit, he practically plays everyday.

“They say the game of chess shows the true genius, or lack thereof, of the players who play it. Given how good a player Scrappy is, I’d like to think that he is merely hiding his cunning and skill. Maybe he just holds back because he’s afraid of reducing you into something that is less than nothing.” Discord said, in a lighthearted and yet, teasing tone.

“Bullshit, that doesn’t mean crap. And besides, you don’t think that applies to you too?” What is this arrogant asshole even talking about?!

“Apply to me? Are you implying I can’t beat him at a simple game of chess?” Oh yeah, that changed his tone real quick.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. If Twilight can beat you, and Fluttershy can tame you, then Scrappy can outsmart you, since he can outsmart Twilight. How about that, huh?” Let’s see how he reacts to that!

“Nice try, Anon, but I really don’t care if he can beat me in chess or not. It’s a game that doesn’t hold my attention. Too uniform, symmetrical, and quite black and white. Of course there is a possibility that I’d lose. I could, perhaps, beat him, but only perhaps. However, in all things chaos, and in a fight, I already know I’d win. As for Twilight, it wasn’t just her, the numbers were utterly and completely not in my favor. Now then, let’s not have this squabble, hm? I’d hate to be in a mood where I don’t call you on further moments like these.” Discord said, seemingly calming himself.

But you weren’t done. “Perhaps? Wait, hold on, are you actually admitting that you can’t beat Scrappy at chess? I dunno, Discord, no squabbles? Sounds like you just don’t want to talk about it.” Fuck him, he can get mad about Shining, but you can’t get mad at him insulting you? Nah, fuck that.

“I’m a humble Draconequus. Anon, even I have to admit that I’m not good at everything, nopony is. We have our faults, our vices, our weaknesses, and everything in between. Now, despite that, I am good… No, perfect at everything I DO set out to do, that much is clear. Could you imagine, Anon, me being perfect at absolutely everything? Life wouldn’t be very fun at all, now would it?” Discord said rather smugly.

“What?! Fuck off, you’re always saying you’re best at everything!” What the hell is he getting at now?!

“Ah, have I now? How foolish of me. Forgive me, Anon, I do have those moments. But we both know it isn’t true. Do you recall our bowling match? I did fairly terribly, didn’t I?” Discord said, as he suddenly began to sound mournful.

Wut? “I do… I mean, you were kind of…” You stop yourself. Weird he’d mention that, unless he meant what he said, which he normally fucking doesn’t. “Ok, hold on, what are you trying to pull now?”

“Pull? Nothing, Anon. I’d like to think I’m just striking the heart of the issue. Trust me when I say this, I have been trying to improve myself in skills I lack. So please, spare me of more of your insults.” Discord said with a saddened sigh.

“Really? Wow, I didn’t know you were actually practicing, Discord. Hey, look, I’m sorry, I just got a little sensitive, ok? I mean, if you want, I can help you hone your skills. You’d be cool with that, right?” You ask him. You were surprised he'd actually admit to sucking at bowling. Discord never, ever, admitted to outright being shit at something to you. At least unless he was called out on it. It made you feel as if he was now understanding what humility might be.

“Completely, I’m very glad to hear you say that, Anon. Because I really need a goal to aim at.” He replies, his mood lifting almost immediately.

“Sure thing, when I get home, I’ll feFDSAFSDFDF” And suddenly, you are smacked by a suddenly appearing bowling ball, causing you to explode into ten pins as you fly out of the alley, towards your friends, and one Lily Valley as you crash onto the ground, hearing Discord yelling “Strike!” before ending the call.

Everyone gathers around you, looking at you oddly, until Gallus says “Anon? Is that you? Why are you a bunch of bowling pins?” He didn't even seemed phased at this point. Guess he wouldn't be after what happened before.

“Don’t ask…” Dammit, you walked right into it. All of your pin selves spoke at once, as one entity.

“Those pins just talked! THOSE PINS JUST TALKED! We’re doomed!” Lily yelled out as she began to look around. “Gyah! What about the houses?! What if they're alive too?! What if they… Eat us! Oooohhhhhhhhhh” She shouted in fright before falling over, a slice of pie falling out of her hooves and onto her face.

“Huh… Now I’m just surprised none of the ponies of this town haven’t been locked up in some asylum or something. No joke, she reacted worse than I did when you did the whole bone thing. Do they all react like she does?” Gallus asked, just pointing down at the fallen mare.

“No, not really. And, uh, anycreature wanna put me back together? Sorta lacking limbs at the moment.” You ask… Fucking Discord, he just had to get one in on you…. What an asshole.

Comments

[EntropyEntropy]

"Do you have a crush on the female cast, you hang out with them a lot."

"Most of the cast IS female, dude."

"Huh, fair enough."

".... I totally do though."

"You what?"

Also Twilight trying to over analyze Anon through his throw away movies. Just wait for him to tell her a majority of movies from his world are of a similar brutal nature as that.

[Hein des Nisseroi]

giving passerbys pies, making friendly chit chats

passersby?

ask the question int he way I really mean.

‘‘in the’’

Holy shit, that's what he meant?! Fuck! We're you that obvious?!

Were

[Munro]

i think twilight need's a visit to the psychologischst now xD

[Kornwallis]

I saw the bowling prank coming. My first clue was the ‘spare me’ pun he made. I got even more suspicious when I noticed his wording was off. It was still funny, I got a good chuckle out of Gallus’ non-reaction.

[Walrusesarecute]

YES, YES, you are giving me so little in the best way possible. It hurts so much, yet it is so amazing when once you get it.

How does this fic perfectly encapsulate all my emotions sometimes? It’s chapters like these.