• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 59 - The Discord Clones

“Urgh… What happened? Dammit, shouldn’t I have fell on my bed? What is this place?” You said to yourself as you looked around in an oddly false looking forest. You had just used your horn to open a portal back to your room, but what ended up actually happening was you falling on your face into some odd wooded area. Sure, the trees looked real enough, but they were all kind of uniform in their placement, and all of them were sameish; a thick trunk that led up to a cloudy looking set of leaves. And the night sky, those stars, they looked almost drawn in. This certainly wasn’t the Everfree, that’s for sure. “Hello? Anypony out there?” You call out as you begin to make your way forward through the forest.

No paths, no stones, hell even the grass was uniform and nice looking, something about all this just didn’t feel right. Worse, as you ventured into this false forest, you started to feel something was watching you. You could hear the leaves shifting despite there being no wind. “Hello? Discord?... Chrysalis? Luna? Dammit, Luna! I don’t even know if I’m asleep, and this ain’t funny!”

Left, right, left, up, and back to right, and yet you still noticed nothing. You began to slowly reach for your horn, but as your hoof came upon you, you suddenly felt a horrible jolt as your body filled with electrical energy. You started flailing on the ground as you made incomprehensible noises. “AFSDASFASDFCSAD”

Suddenly, Discord, garbed in a fancy black suit and sunglasses while holding a yellow gun towards you, puts his paw to his ear and began to speak. Oddly enough, he also had a badge on him with the number ‘2’. “Commander Star, come in Commander Star, I have neutralized the intruder.” He said with a very cold and monotonous voice. He just looked upon you as he stood there, then answered when an apparent voice spoke to him. “Yes, the intruder is a colt. Yes, he has a chaos cutie mark. Hmmm…” He looks to you, and asks “Is your name Anon?”

“DSGFFDFSDFDFS” Was all you could say as you shook and sputtered from electrical shocks.

“He isn’t giving me a name. Hrm? Yes, that would be a good reason for you to be angry, as I did neutralize him after all. Let him go? Are you sure, Comm-... Well alright then.” Discord presses a button on his gun, retracting an electrical line that had apparently connected into you when he fired. He holsters his powerful stun gun and gestures at you with two taloned fingers. “My apologies, sir. Please, go on, I shall continue my duty.” And with that, like a ninja, he hops backwards into the upper parts of a tree and disappears.

“N-ngh...W-what… Discord, why? G-g-ghhhhhhhh…” You said as your body let out a hint of chicken as a scent. Christ, you felt like your body was lit up and wasted at the same time. You were shaky as you stood, every hair on you standing on end. “D-dammit, that wasn’t even funny. The hell was wrong with him?” You started to walk, but your body was still feeling rather short circuited, you zig-zagged towards a tree and held on to it to steady yourself. “Where the hell is this? Who was he talking to?” You groaned, took a few moments to rest, and tried to walk forward once again. This time, you were able to maintain yourself, but your anger was more focused as well. “Fucking prick, I’m totally gonna rat him out to Fluttershy. That’ll… What?”

Moving forward through the forest, you notice a lantern light ahead of you. You duck behind a tree, and take a peek at what looked like a large and basic wooden table where four figures were playing a card game. Three Discords, and a… Wait, is that Scootaloo? Goddammit, you were at the house?! Then, why? Why did Discord zap you? Wait, there are multiple Discords on that table, all dressed like the one who attacked you, but with the badges marked ‘3’,’4’, and ‘5’. Goddammit, of course, Discord was with Fluttershy, so these must be individually minded clones or some shit like that. So what? Did the one who attacked you really not know who you were? Dammit Discord, quality over goddamn quantity, LEARN IT!

“Young Scootaloo, would you have any fives?” ‘4’ asked, politely, with a soft spoken yet intelligent sounding voice.

“Nope, go fish!” Scootaloo said, in a rather snarky and upbeat tone.

“Ah, well, seems my luck is rather terrible today. Well, not as bad as Number Three’s anyway.” The Discord who’s name was literally number four said as he took a card.

“Nyeh, don’t be a wise guises, Numbah Four. I’m just playins the long game, Ain’t I Numbah Five?” Number three said. Despite his appearance being exactly like Discord, his voice was an annoying mobster-like Italian accent.

Then there was Number Five, an apparent strong and silent type that merely shakes his head as he focused on his cards.

“Eh, who askeds yous anyway?” Number Three said as he flipped down his sunglasses to hide his very apparent frustration.

“Well, Number Three, I got something to ask. Got any threes?” Scootaloo looked to him with a cocky look.

He shrugs “Tough luck, short stuff. I ain’t gots no threes, other than mah badge of course.” Number Three said with a rather cocky response of his own.

“He’s lying, I’ve already managed to deduce most of the cards and the owners of said cards in this game. He, in fact, has a very high chance of having at least one three.” Number Four says as he starts to reorder his cards.

“Ohs yeah? And what’s that chance exactly?” Number Three said, raising his sunglasses to give him an intimidating stare.

“Oh, just a small number that I’d like to call… One hundred percent.” Number Four said with a chuckle

Three’s eyes burst into a red fire as he throws the table upwards in a rage “I DON’TS GOTTA TAKE NOTHIN OF THIS! I’MS GETTIN’ BACK TO WORK NOW! AIN’TS GOT TIME FOR KIDS' GAMES.” And with a snap, he disappeared from his chair in a near fiery teleport.

Number Five simply looks upwards and stands. He then jumps upwards and expertly catches the table and all the flipped cards, able to throw them back down to the ground in the exact same placement with a 'table throw' as he flings the cards like they were shurikens back onto the top of the table. He then lands back on the ground, in front of his chair, and sits calmly and silently as he catches the last remaining cards in the air, which happened to be his hand, and goes back to looking at them with nary a word.

“Woah…” Scootaloo just sat on her seat, amazed at Five’s amazing feat.

“Indeed, Number Five is a sight to behold when he’s motivated. My apologies, young Scootaloo, for Three’s actions. He is of a rude sort.” Four, sensing the game was over, put his cards down and looked to Scootaloo apologetically.

“It’s ok, he’s just a sore loser. You guys are cool though, erm, you’re much nicer than him and, uh… Can I say you’re nicer than Discord? Since you’re all technically him?” Scootaloo said, worried if she was going to offend the pair.

“It’s quite alright. Despite us being his magically created doppelgangers, we are, in fact, capable of independent thought. And for the record, we enjoy your company. Isn’t that right, Number Five?” Four asks Five, his pleasantness never faltering for a moment.

Five nods, then reaches over to gently pet Scootaloo on the head. She just lets it happen, smiling and accepting the affection. But then she looks to Four, and frowns. “So, what about when it’s all over then? What will happen to all of you?”

“Oh, we’ll disappear into the ether, as is the fate of anything our originator usually creates at his own whim.” Four says, with no worry or fear in his voice, as if he didn’t mind disappearing from the world.

“But you guys are pretty cool! Why can’t you just exist? Doesn’t it scare you that you’ll just disappear? What about our friendship?” Scootaloo sounded rather distressed, it seems during her time here, she had actually made good friends with the Discord clones. “I don’t wanna sound mean or anything, but Discord is kind of a jerk. And you guys? You guys are totally not jerks! So why?!”

Four looked to her calmly, but his voice, there was some lament growing into it as he looked to Five “It doesn’t scare us, we all already understand that it is just the natural disorder of things. As for our friendship, it will always remain true, even upon our disappearance. Every time Discord creates versions of himself, he actually creates extensions of himself. Once we disappear, our memories will be his memories. And at that point, he will only be in denial about it. Not much will change on the outside, but you may notice a few subtle changes. The fact he made the choice to make you Anon’s ‘Best Stallion’ shows he actually has quite a bit of trust in you. I can only imagine that trust will expand after the night is over.”

“Yeah, well…” Scootaloo looked down at the table, still visibly upset about the situation “He’s still not you guys. Well, he is you and the others, but y’know…” Scootaloo sighs and closes her eyes for a moment before feeling a gentle pat on her head. She then looks up to see Five silently sitting next to her, gently patting her head to let her know it’s ok. “I’m really going to miss you guys…”

“It will be alright, we promise. For now, I suggest we forget such unpleasantness by pointing out the fact that Anon has been behind that tree since Three’s temper tantrum.” Four points behind Scootaloo, right at the tree you were peeking from.

Goddammit, how did he notice you?! He probably noticed you from the very start to be honest. Even if it’s a Discord clone, you wouldn’t put it past him or any other not to be observant. Still, considering what you witnessed, it was probably safe to pop out. it also seemed Scootaloo was getting along with a few of them just fine, even befriending them. In a sense, it did kind of suck, since they’d probably not exist beyond tomorrow.

“Anon? Are you really back there?” Scootaloo looks behind herself from her seat, curious to see if you were really there.

“Yeah, I’m here. Hey, Scoots, how’re you doing?” You make yourself visible, and wave to her with a smile.

“Doing better than you, what happened?! You look like you got into a fight with an electric eel and lost.” Scootaloo said as she pointed to you, half shocked and half amused by your appearance. Indeed, you truly were frazzled from the other Discord’s attack.

“Hey! It’s not my fault! One of these guys attacked me when I got here!” Goddammit, just no fucking respect. She just had to point out how goofy you looked.

“Ah, that would be Two. He is the type to attack first and ask questions later. Ahrm, Number Five?” Four says calmly, snapping his talons.

Five calmly stands, and looks over to you. Just the way he stood, almost statuelike, it felt imposing. “Woah, woah, hey! What’s he gonna do?”

“Oh, I can guess this one! He’s just going to fix Anon’s mane and coat, right?” Scootaloo said excitingly “Man, it’s always totally cool when Number Five does anything.”

“Correct! Very good, Scootaloo, very good. Anon, if you please, stand still and allow Number Five to do his work.” Four asked you as he praised Scootaloo’s accurate guess.

“Are you serious? That guy is cracking his… Knuckles? Look, I can fix it myself, I don’t need any more Draconequus clones touching me today.” You started to back up. Fuck this, the guy looked like he was gonna bruise you up.

“C’mon, Anon, don’t be a baby! Number Five is really good! Look!” Scootaloo hopped off her chair and showed off her wings. At first, you thought he made them flight worthy, but it was something more conventional. Her wings looked cleaner, every feather properly placed, and most of all, they looked perfectly preened. “Number Five fixed up my wings really good. Not only was it relaxing, but I can almost float now!” Scootaloo hops up in the air, and managed to maintain her small increase in height for at least ten seconds before gently landing. “See? He’s amazing!”

“I… Guess? I mean…” You had to admit, it was pretty good work. “Erm… Ugh, fine. But it better be as good as that wingjob. Alright, uh, Five? Do your work.” You say, still sounding reluctant in your tone.

Five nods, and jumps in a spiraling spin and lands behind you. You jump forward, startled, as you then get instantly grabbed and fondled in a way that made you think of a cat being overloved by its owner. “Hey! Get off! Don’t touch...wait, nnmmmmm… T-this…” Wow, he was… Really good. No homo or anything, but your body started to feel limp from the relaxing feelings caused by his handling of your body. “T-this is really… Nice.” You just kind of hung there as Five did his work. You were in a dreamlike state at this point.

“Woah, I’ve never seen Anon so calm before. Well, except when he’s asleep.” Scootaloo was impressed, she really hadn’t seen, or at least remembered, seeing you so serene.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s had his moments, depending on his current company anyway.” Four says as he snaps his talons, producing a basic looking chess board. “Young Scootaloo, you had mentioned you had an interest in chess. Would you care to have a go?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” Scootaloo’s attention went back to Four as she tapped at one of the pawns on the board “Maybe if I play with you, I can get good enough to beat Scrappy. He’s really REALLY good at this game.”

“Indeed. Well then, perhaps I can give you a few tips to help you as well.” Four says as he readies the pieces, choosing to start as black.

“That’ll be really cool! Maybe I can stand a chance against him then. Oh, wait, what about Number Five and Anon?” Scootaloo asked.

“Five won’t mind just watching, he’s actually quite poor at the game. As for Anon, he’ll most likely want to speak to Starlight.” Four says as he looks to Scootaloo with a calm smile.

“Oh, because of that thing, right? Ugh, could you believe what she said? About some weird flying machines that can move faster than Rainbow Dash, RAINBOW DASH! Like, that’s totally dumb. Rainbow Dash is waaaayyyyy faster than some stupid machine.” Scootaloo says dismissively, crossing her forelegs with a huff.

Four chuckles to himself as he takes a glance at you “Balderdash indeed, at least in the fact that such a machine does not yet exist in our realm, or may ever exist despite what she has said. By that fact alone, Rainbow Dash is indeed the fastest.” Four was being deceptive in his words. He was being 'truthful' while still sounding like he was on Scootaloo’s side, which Scootaloo did not catch on as she nodded and completely agreed with him.

As for you, Five finally put you down after that massive grooming massage. You felt calm, cool, collected, and at ease in your mind. You also looked damned slick, with your coat nice and shiny and your mane cute and well combed. “Geez… I feel great! That was pretty good… Er, Five, right?”

Five simply nodded, and gave you a thumbs up.

“Y-yeah, thanks." These guys, they were all so unique despite looking the same. You wondered if you had their personalities pegged, and if there were any more of them. "So like, let me get this straight then. Two jumps the gun, Three is… I dunno, a sore loser? Four, you’re smart and polite, and then Five here is silent but pretty cool. So does that make Starlight Number One? And are there like, a Six or Seven?” You asked

“No, Number One is Starlight’s close associate. And Five is the last of us” Four states.

Ah, so only four of them then? “Oh, Trixie? She's Number One?” Huh, that makes sense.

But Scootaloo turns around again, and shakes her head “Nah, I think Trixie is still setting up her wagon in Ponyville. Number One is another clone. I dunno about him, he’s kind of a wimp. He’s creepy too, he always does what Starlight tells him with a smile. Who does that anyway? Like, he does whatever she says and just smiles about it.” Scootaloo states with a small shudder.

Wait… “Hold on, are you telling me my Dad made a subservient clone? Why would he do that? That doesn’t sound like him at all.”

Four takes off his sunglasses and cleans them with a cloth from his suit’s front pocket “He was in a rush to see Fluttershy, I do believe that is enough said about that subject.”

Right, that does make sense. “I see, yeah, that sounds about right. Man…” Scootaloo was right, these guys really were nice. It made you feel a sense of melancholy knowing they wouldn’t exist for much longer. “You guys are pretty cool. I’m with Scootaloo on this one, it’s gonna be kinda sad to see you all go… Cept for Two, that guy is a buttmunch.”

“Well, to be truthful, we weren’t supposed to have much of a personality due to the chance of you being attached to us. But again, Fluttershy. Yes, I admit, I do have a lament in my heart over having to go. But I can look forward to becoming a good memory. For now, I say we just enjoy our time together. As for you, Anon, I do believe you have some business with the Commander, correct? You were the one who sent her all those aviation plans, right?” Four asked you as he watched Scootaloo make her first move.

You nod “Yeah. I also want to see what she has planned for tomorrow. So, what? Did she go crazy over those blueprints or something?” Did she really become that much of a technophile?

Four nods as he takes his turn “She did, it seems she has truly become enamored as Chrysalis when it comes to human creations.”

“Puh, why did you have to say her name? Bug Breath is so awful and uncool. The only good thing to come out of her was Scrappy and the other changelings… Y’know, after they became good. I mean, if she tried to save Anon then I guess that’s ok. But then she could be just saving him to finish him off herself. Grrr… If she even tries it, I’ll tear her apart!” Scootaloo says as she stomps her hindlegs down on her seat. It was obvious, even after all this time, that she still just hated her guts.

“Relax yourself, Young Scootaloo, you let your prejudices cloud your judgement. While we may not know her current status right now, the fact that there is a chance for her redeeming herself is something we should hope for. Better an ally than an enemy. And besides, with a changeling, it is obvious to know when they have changed into their pleasant form. In that sense, we’ll know where she currently stands once she does show herself. Now, let us relax. You won’t be able to focus on your movements if you fret over this. As for you, Anon, if you wish to see the Commander, simply head east. The campsite isn’t too far, and the light from the fire is easy enough to spot.” Four says as he patiently waits for his turn.

Well, goddamn. The guy is even hopeful, how weird. “Yeah, he’s right. If Chrysalis turns into a weird color bug, then everything should be fine. It’ll be ok, Scoots, she won’t do anything to me.”

“What if she fakes it? What if she just pretends to redeem herself to get close to you and destroy you?!” Scootaloo demanded an answer for this. To be fair, it was a pretty good question.

“I’ll take this one. Young Scootaloo, Chrysalis does not make compromises nor will she ever compromise her feelings in such a way. She would never be willing to fake THAT transformation, most likely due to the anger she most likely feels towards it. But, on the same coin, her not transforming into it could be bad if her heart is filled with said rage, as it'd make it more difficult to help her. Anon, you really should caution yourself should you have such a meeting with her.” Four calmly advises. Damn, he had the situation pretty well assessed.

“Mnnn… I guess. Either way, I just don’t want her to hurt anypony. Sometimes I think she’d even hurt Scrappy if she ever saw him again, I really think she's angry enough to do it. I just… I just don’t really like her, that’s all.” Scootaloo calms herself, but still grumbles as she haphazardly takes her turn.

“I promise it’ll be fine, Scoots. Look, I can see the subject is getting you really upset, so I’m just gonna leave you to your chess game. You’ll be ok, right?” You ask. You just wanted to let her cool off at this point. She was obviously really sensitive about the subject and you felt just being around her, with your feelings being positive towards Chrysalis, wouldn’t help her mood.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll be ok. Just…” Scootaloo gets up from her chair, and walks over to give you a hug, she then gives you a stern look “Don’t let yourself fall for her tricks, ok? You promise?”

Man, the way she was acting, it was almost like she was the one you were going to get fake married to. “I promise, I got a good handle on how she is. If anything, I think I know her more than she knows me at this point. So yeah, nothing bad is gonna happen, promise.”

“Good… Erm, ok. Also, when you go to see Starlight, just tell her the truth about those plane things. That they can’t go faster than Rainbow Dash. Got it?” Scootaloo looks at you with the most soul piercing look she could muster. Dammit, how were you supposed to get around this one? Well, you could just try what Four did and just make it sound dodgy and complicated.

“I’ll make sure to tell her the absolute truth about it” Ok, not so complicated, but just as dodgy.

“Good! C’mon, Number Five, watch me beat Number Four at chess!” Scootaloo, feeling calmer already, and quite competitive, instantly enters the mindset of a champion.

Five simply nods, and calmly sits back on his chair. While looking stoic, he did have this aura about him that showed he was really rooting for Scootaloo.

With that, and a few goodbyes, you head east to find Starlight and Number One.

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