• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 287 - Trial 1: The Laser Room

Author's Note:

god. aside from food poisoning taking me out for a few days, writing such a large team in general has been rough. So short chapter this time. my mind has been muddled all this month.

Lasers

Laser tripwires to be exact.

The first trial was fucking Ocean’s Twelve, or Mission:Impossible, or some shit like that. The room had a tirade of vertical and horizontal red tripwires going every which way. It was even denser on the ceiling, ensuring none of the changelings could just scoot on through.

Across the room, on the wall, was a lever. Surely that had to be the goal, to pull that thing down.

“This is his first trial? Magical tripwires? No, wait, these are generated by this ‘human’ technology, correct?” Neighsay scoffed. “Surely he jests. Even without any spells, could we not just destroy the machines emitting the red lines?”

“Knowing Tirek, they’re probably shielded to prevent just that. And even then, they could be booby trapped. No, one of us has to be able to get through. Hey, Ocellus, do you think you could get through this? You’re smaller than Chrysalis.” You asked her.

Ocellus peered at the tripwires. So many of them were angled in so many ways, in so many tight spots. “I think? I-I don’t know. A lot of this looks really hard to maneuver through, and if I’m not careful with my wings, they might cross one of the lines.”

“So, even if we make an insy, weensy, tiny, little touch on any of them, we’re doomed?” Silverstream asked as she brought her face close to one and immediately got pulled back by Smolder.

“Yeah, so try not to get close unless you know how to get past them.” Smolder said, giving her a bit of a stink eye as Silverstream smiled back at her sheepishly.

“Puh, what are you guys worried about?” Grubber asked arrogantly as he closed his eyes and crossed his arms. “Did you forget we got Tempest? She can get past this no problem, right, Tempest?”

Tempest had already been surveying the room. She sighed with annoyance, she actually seemed to be pretty frustrated with the alignment of the lasers. “It can be done, but there’s no margin for error. Either I’m perfect or we’re fried.” Tempest began to stretch as she continued. “I need to be able to concentrate completely.”

“Alright, alright. You heard her. Everyone pipe down and let her do her work!” Grubber said as he began to wave down everyone.

“Oh, I genuinely want to see this.” Discord said as he popped in some popcorn. “Twenty bits say we’re fried.”

“What is wrong with you? You should be betting for her, not against her! Why are you even betting? This is a serious matter!” Neighsay said as he turned towards Discord, finding his words outrageous.

“Serious as it may be, it doesn’t mean I can’t make a game out of it. Besides, it was mentioned that she needs to be perfect. And as Twilight always says, nopony is perfect. She doesn’t speak for me, of course, but wise words nonetheless.” Discord said as he popped a few popcorn puffs into his mouth.

“Discord, I swear, if you don’t shut up, I’ll trip those lasers myself just to make sure you suffer.” Chrysalis threatened, stepping up to him, growling.

“Fine, fine. But only because Fluttershy hangs in the balance. Proceed.” Discord said, gesturing towards Tempest.

Tempest shook her head and sighed, and then prepared herself. She was about to rush forward, taking a few steps for a jump, when an unlikely source suddenly shouted out.

“Wait!” Yona cried out.

Tempest came to a near tripping halt, easily catching herself as she looked at Yona with a sharp and angry look. As calm and collected as she normally is, that sudden call out could have been a blunder, and she found it out of line. “What are you doing?! You could have doomed us all.”

Yona recoiled just a bit from her sudden harshness, but she would not relent. She felt like she had something important to say. “Yona know, and Yona sorry. But Yona had thought, and now knows if Tempest jump, Tempest fall for trap.”

“A trap? We already know there’s a trap! That trap being the lasers!” Grubber said as he marched up to Yona, pointing at her. “You better have a really good reason for nearly screwing Tempest up!”

“Yona does.” Yona said with a nod as she looked towards you with a determined look. “Anon, laser things human machine, right?”

Hm? “I, uh, yeah. I guess they really are thanks to the magic Tirek is using. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything. Yona know it. Because Tirek be bad guy, right? Very bad?” Yona asked.

Chrysalis raised an annoyed eyebrow towards Yona. “That much should be obvious to you, yak. Did you seriously nearly doom us to state the obvious?”

“No, Yona thinking. Anon, can you give Smolder bit? Please?” Yona asked you.

You narrowed your eyes for a moment, confused as to why she’d asked that. But then, it suddenly dawned on you. But, how? Wasn’t this thick mesh of lasers the trap? What was Yona thinking? Either way, you felt she may be on to something and pull out the bit from your saddle bag. “Here.” You said as you flipped the coin towards her.

“Woah, what? What’s with you, Yona? Why give me a bit? What does that got to do with everything?” Smolder asked, confused as she caught the coin.

“Yona have hunch. Yona think Tirek set trap. So Yona want Smolder to throw bit forward, very hard, past laser things.” Yona said.

“Tempest, are you hearing this? You got interrupted for this?” Grubber asked, pointing at the scene with both his arms in disgust.

Tempest was silent, looking over at Yona, then at the lasers. “...I want to see where this is going.”

“You do? Hmph, I mean, of course you do. You did hear it, and if you think it’s worth watchin’, then I’m down. So go ahead, throw the coin!” Grubber said, turning his attention towards Smolder as his annoyance faded with Tempest's interest.

“So, just throw it as hard as I can?” Smolder asked, looking towards Yona. When Yona gave her a serious stare and a hard nod, she stared at the coin, and clutched it tight. “Okay then, I’m trusting you, Yona! Mnnn HYAAAH!” Smolder reeled back her fist, and launched her arm forward, sending the coin past the lasers like a bullet. And as it did, some of the lasers began to immediately turn towards where the coin last was, missing it due to its speed. “W-woah, did everycreature see that!”

“I did! Discord, what the hell is that!? I thought you said he couldn’t cheat!” Chrysalis said with renewed and unbridled anger. “Explain yourself!”

Discord shrugged. “There’s nothing to explain. That’s how he set things up before we got here. Really, Chrysalis, you should know how much of a louse Tirek is. This is why his father never respected him, always taking the easy route. This is why he’s always stealing magic, never ever wants to work towards anything. Tsk tsk, what a lowly being he is.”

“She’s right, you miserable amalgamation of ridiculousness! Be more clear with us, or else I’ll see to it you are placed back in Princess Celestia’s garden as an ugly statue.” Neighsay said with a sharp leer towards Discord.

Discord just inaudibly mocked his words as he gave a dismissive and lazy wave towards Neighsay, finding his threat to be nothing.

As for you, you were amazed. Yona saved all of you by predicting Tirek’s trap. “Yona, did you manage to figure that out because of our project?”

Yona nodded. “Mhmm, Yona remember how tricky Jimmy was. Tirek not much better, he has big mouth like Jimmy.”

“Yona, that was awesome! Nocreature managed to figure it out except for you! You gotta teach me how to think like that!” Sandbar said, utterly enthralled by Yona’s logic.

Yona just blushed, turning away from Sandbar as she gave him a light wave. “It nothing, Yona just remember project and put things together.”

“Well, I hate to be ‘that griffon’, but we still need to figure out how to actually get passed the tripwires. Is it even possible?” Gallus asked as he looked back towards the laser grid.

“Hmmm.” This one was actually pretty damn tough. How was anyone supposed to get to that lever? Maybe someone could trick the lasers so someone else could slip through. Though, even that would prove to be a massive challenge. It’d only take-whaAGEDFDGFGDFGDFGDFGDF “DSGDSFDSFSDF”

You didn’t have time to react as a dark aura came upon your head and yanked it from the hardened glue that was currently your neck. The next thing you knew you were sent hurtling past the laser grid and towards the lever. You end up deepthroating the damn thing as the weight of your head brings it down. Almost immediately, the laser grid shuts down as the steel doors slowly open, revealing an elevator.

“Hell yeah! Did everycreature see that?! I’m the best! I’m the best! You hear that, Tirek!” Starlight said as she began to cheer for herself as she looked around the room. “You don’t stand a chance! I’m smarter than you! I have a better mane than you! And I’m just plain better! UNNNNNNGH!” Starlight groaned as she raised her hooves up, as if she was doing a ‘rock metal’ pose.

“Wow! That was awesome, Counselor Starlight!” Silverstream said with a cheer as she flew over to your headless body and gave it a gentle pat. “And you too! I should have known the hero colt could use his head for more than just thinking. I wish I could do that.”

You just let out a gargled groan with the lever still deepthroating your head. You were glad nobody was around to make an innuendo out of this, because this had to be your most humiliating moment.

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