• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,054 Views, 1,077 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 73 - Starlight's Decision and One's Revolt

As Spike predicted, everyone was waiting by a door that led back into Town Hall’s rather large janitor’s closet. It was pretty roomy for a closet to be able to fit all of you and all these buckets, mops, and other cleaning supplies. Heck, the only thing wrong with this picture at this moment was the fact Trixie was on the floor, knocked out, and her tongue hanging loose. “Sheesh, is she dead?” You ask

“Nah, just knocked out. I didn’t think Trixie would get knocked out that hard; guess I’m stronger than I thought.” Sweetie Belle said, a little astonished at herself for such a feat.

“What should we do? Should we slap her or something? Anon isn’t wrong, she does look kinda… Y’know.” Scootaloo said as she poked at Trixie’s face, then jumped back slightly when her eye just blinked open then back to closed.

“No worries, young Scootaloo. With a snap of my talons.” Four snaps, causing Trixie to vanish from everyone’s sight. “She will soon find herself snug in her wagon, as if nothing ever happened.”

Spike during all this gave you a nudge, and whispered “Anon, you should get going and check on Starlight before she falls apart.”

Ahhh, right, you still had to do that. You look to everyone and wave your hoof as you back off to the door. “Well, since things are dying down, I’m gonna head out and see if anypony else needs me. I mean, the wedding just ended and all and I’m sure Diamond and maybe Starlight would want to have a chat with me.”

Everyone understood, and just cheerfully gave you a goodbye and a wave, Sweetie Belle noting that Diamond probably wanted to nag you about a honeymoon at this point and saying how dreamy it'll probably be. Well, that wasn’t something you had to worry about, the nagging anyway. If Diamond meant what she said, then things should be a lot more smooth between you and her. And besides, you’d be providing the pseudo honeymoon yourself anyway. But that wasn’t important right now, you had to go find Starlight.

“There you are, Anon! Been lookin’ everywhere for ya, son.” But as you step out into the end of the eastern hallway, you are immediately spotted by Mr. Rich, who greeted you with a warm and relieved call. You tensed for a moment, only to realize you really had nothing to fear from him.

“Mr. Rich? Oh hey, erm, looking everywhere? Didn’t realize I was gone for so long, something happen?” You ask, staying cautious. You didn’t want him to suspect anything.

“Other than your friend Starlight lookin’ like she’s gettin’ spooked by ghosts and the missus locking herself in the westward changing room, ain’t much else goin’ on.” Mr. Rich said in a rather calm manner, kinda weird given the circumstances. But then his next words kind of explain that. “Anyway, decided to hunt ya down myself so you can calm Starlight down before she starts turnin’ over the place. Don’t know what got into her, but she ain’t really willing to discuss it. Luckily for me, I knew I’d find ya quick with my business scoping knowhow, all I had to do was look down here at the… er… “ Mr. Rich looks at the label of the door you just exited, it was labeled ‘Janitor’s closet’. “What were you doin’ in there, son?”

You look back, and notice what he was talking about. You then look back at him and shrug. “Oh, erm, not much. Just wanted to see what was in there, that’s all.” Did you even need to seem shifty about this? Egh, it’d be too much to explain what really went on in there anyway.

“Uhuh…” Mr. Rich said as he stoically looked down at you, seemingly suspicious of your motives, finding it odd you'd be interested in fucking brooms of all things. He also noticed you looked cleaner, and your tux shinier, than before. “Anon, did ya wash up with the cleaning supplies in there? Because you’re looking right shiny.”

“Oh! Erm!” You look down at yourself. Huh, all that road slipping actually seemed to have had a positive effect on you after all. “Yeah, wanted to spruce myself up a bit for when I saw Diamond again. Um, is there something wrong with that, Mr. Rich?”

“Well, kind of. Y’see, Anon, good suits like them don’t usually last so long when you wash em with them kind of supplies. Trust me, I know, tried it once myself due to it being an outright emergency. All it did was cause my suit to shrink while I was still wearin’ it. Trust me, you don’t want tha-” But Mr. Rich is cut off in surprise as your suit shrinks so hard and so fast that it squeezes you harder than any hug you ever had so far, while ripping into tiny pieces along your body.

“GNNnngH!” You nearly felt your entire body compress as your let out all the air from your lungs. Even as the tux imploded into shreds, you found yourself fallen over on your side, twitching in pain.

“E-erm… Never seen it shrink that fast before. Y-you ok there, son?” Mr. Rich was perplexed and stunned from such a showing. He didn’t know if it was a trick or if you were really hurt. Given your twitching, it was definitely the latter.

Goddammit! Fuck chaos and fuck your cutie mark right now. You know your life was full of happenings, but that was just a sucker punch. Not wanting to seem the wimp however, you just slowly stand up while catching your breath. “N-no, I’m fine… H-hero Colt, remember? N-nothing can keep me down.” Your tux imploded so fast, you actually felt like you still had no air as you breathed rapidly for a few more moments.

Mr. Rich has a small hearty chuckle to himself after believing you were alright. “Had me worried there, son. Shame about the tux though, would have looked really nice on the next photo op. Speaking of which, can you meet us all back in the main hall in about fifteen minutes, Anon? Wanna do a nice family shoot for the paper since we’re gonna be on the front page of most of em, eheh” Mr. Rich says with a boastful chuckle “Gives me plenty of time to calm the missus and for you to find out what’s going wrong with yer friend. She’s back in your changing room by the way, said something about investigating somethin’. Dunno what, since the wedding went better than we thought. But whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll be able to help her with that.”

Perfect, and yet not perfect. With that photo op, you’ll be able to spring the tickets on Diamond right after, deal with Discord coming to take One, Four, and Five, and then finally you’d be able to take on Twilight! After that? Hm, you’ll probably go ask if you could sleep with Fluttershy for the night. You were going to be a wreck after Twilight, and you needed the extra comfort. Especially since your body still felt rather crushed…

You gave a shaky salute to Mr. Rich. “N-no problem, had you worried there though, huh? Yeah, you know how it is, gotta be chaotic from time to time.”

“Ah! Hah! So it was another one of yer tricks, eh? Gotta admit, thinking about it now, it is mighty funny. Bet when you got little foals of your own, that you’ll get all kinds of laughs when you show that off. Ah, Anon, ya killin’ me with how proud I am of ya. A hero, an honest colt, and a great sense of humor. I know our legacy will be in good hooves with ya, and… Oh no…” Mr. Rich started to tear up.

Ah shit, he took that a little too well. “A-are you ok, Mr. Rich?”

“Uh, yeah, just a little somethin’ in my eye. Gonna get goin’, Anon, can’t dilly dally here much longer or else them reporters will get antsy. You take care now, and don’t forget to see us in the main hall, ya hear?” Mr. Rich, in truth, didn’t want to get too emotional at the moment. Normally, he wouldn’t mind, but with having to prepare for a photo for the papers, he couldn’t let himself falter when he still had to cheer up Mrs. Rich. Hell, you kind of wanted to know what was going through her head. Was she scared? Happy? Proud? Something really did pierce her heart this day. Sadly, you had to discard such thoughts for now and just talk to Starlight.

“I hear, erm... Dad. And good luck with, erm, Mom.” You say to him, doing your best to sound cheerful, but that backfires as it nearly causes him to burst into tears.

“T-thank you, son, t-that means a lot.” Mr. Rich said as he turned around to hide his crying face, walking off in a silent sob. “Called me Dad… and called her Mom… Keep it together, Filthy, you ain’t even old enough to keel over from this yet.”

You waited there for a moment until he was gone. And once he was, you collapsed on the floor, shaking. “O-of course the d-damn tux would be dry clean o-only, n-nghhhh…” Seriously, as tough as your head was, your body could still be damned fragile at times. Fuck whoever decided to make clothes that shrunk when they got fucking wet. It may have not been intended, but fuck them anyway!

After recovering from being crushed by your own clothes, you make your way back to your dressing room to confront Starlight, who no doubt had One hanging around her. Really, he was probably gonna be non issue anyway, but the way he just praises her constantly might feed into any bias and stance she may have already taken. Still, you convinced fucking Fluttershy, so Starlight shouldn’t be too bad, especially if she held up the honor of seeing you as an equal.

When you reach the door, you could already hear voices coming from the other side. Huh, it seemed to be the voices of Starlight and One. You wondered what they were talking about, to the point that a little eavesdropping probably wouldn’t hurt the situation since you needed an edge in the coming conversation with Starlight. So you slowly move your ear towards the door and listen in.

“We’ve investigated this room a thousand times, Commander. Please, relax, allow me to massage your aching muscles.” One said, concern in his voice.

“No! We have to be absolutely sure we understand what went on here. It was clear that the knife that hit the wall was intended for Anon, but the magical residue on the floor was from a shock that matches my magical signature. Then there’s the broken perfume bottles on the floor; Knowing Anon, he probably opened a portal right there. But then what happened after? Hmmm, do you really think the Anon on the altar was Chrysalis?” Starlight asked as she presumably looked over the scene.

“Had to be, the little dunce is incapable of such moving words. Unlike you, Commander, whose word can move hundreds.” One said, being the brown noser you noticed he seemed to be back when you first saw him.

“Please don’t say that about him, One. Anon is a lot of things, but he’s not a dunce, and he can be very inspiring when he wants to be. I believe that was him, which means we have to figure out where he went off to right after that, as well as what happened to Chrysalis.” Starlight said, her tone a little desperate and melancholic. Aww, she even thinks highly of you, even when you’re not in the room, that’s sweet. But then, what the fuck was One’s problem? Was that what Discord actually thought of you? Or was the clone that independent. Either way, you should make your move now since it seemed Starlight was truly worried about you.

You slowly let yourself in, and let out in a calm and low “Starlight? Hey, Mr. Rich said you’d be in here. What’s up?”

“Anon? Anon!” Starlight said in excitement as she rushed over to you to give you a warming hug “You’re alright! I was really worried about you!”

It really felt nice to see her happy, especially after all the glares she was giving you before. “Worried? Heh, nah, you know you don’t need to be worried about- wha huh?” You are caught a little off guard when Starlight is slowly pulled away by One’s magic. One himself giving you a nasty and suspicious stare as he does so.

“Watch out, Commander… That might be her.” One said in a low and aggressive tone.

“Ugh, Really? One, will you relax? That is Anon, who else could it be?” Starlight was annoyed by One’s accusation, she was pretty sure it was you. Sheesh, another reason Starlight was better than Twilight, she could actually tell you were you.

“Test him then, ask him something only the real Anon would know.” One challenged.

“Wow, geez. Way to be a real asshole. I don’t even think Discord can be that shitty. What, you can’t use your magic to tell I’m the real deal?” You were really getting tired of his shit. How could he not tell you were the genuine article?

“Watch it…” One raised a single talon at you “I’m not as magically capable as Discord, but for the sake and safety of the Commander, I will destroy you personally if you can’t prove who you are.”

Holy shit, this was a Discord clone? The guy was unusually obsessed with Starlight. And upon further inspection of him, parts of him were subtly faded. Was it affecting his mind? Huh, that must be it then. He really is obsessed with Starlight, to the point that he’ll defend her until his end. And his end seemed to be coming pretty soon. “Ok ok, relax. Look, I can prove it without a question. Starlight’s favorite past time is flying kites, and Trixie broke her coffee machine a few days ago with a botched teleport spell. That good enough? Hmm?”

“One, just stop, ok? It’s him, there’s no way Chrysalis would have known that information. What’s gotten into you?” Starlight turned to him, giving him a stern look.

“...Sorry, Commander. I’ll allow you to carry on the interrogation, I’ll simply… Observe.” One hung back, obviously displeased with what has gone on so far.

Starlight sighed, hoping things wouldn’t get any worse. “Sorry, Anon, he’s just been a little antsy lately. Don’t know why, but that's not important right now. So, what happened here anyway? Because if you’re here, and she’s not, then I’m going to take a guess that you won the fight with, hehe, my awesome Starlight Hook. You sent her straight into Tartarus, right? Because the theory we have is that she tried to stab you with that knife in a bid for vengeance.” Well, she wasn’t wrong on that last bit. Too bad she won’t be happy about the next bit.

“Uh, not exactly. More like I subdued her, we talked, and then I let her go. Before you react, Discord, Fluttershy, and Spike already know the story, and I plan to tell the princesses. But I also wanted to tell you too, since you’re my friend and I value your opinion… Plus I kinda need your help with something when I need it.” That probably wasn’t as smooth as it could be, but how else were you supposed to start this conversation?

“Oh no, Anon, Anon…” Starlight found herself plopping on her butt as she shook her head in concern. “Please tell me you’re not doing this again. Anon, she tried to end you, and you’re going to tell me you think you can still reform her? Anon, she doesn’t want to reform, and given this attack on you, I doubt she cares about you… So why?”

“Starlight, look, I admit, I was pretty obsessive about it before. I was so obsessive that I missed obvious cues and was ignorant to what was important. If I had to admit my biggest fault about it, it was not paying attention to her brood and realizing the truth about their situation. But that truth also applies to Chrysalis herself. I mean, how could her children change but not her? Hmm? Look, after she tried to kill me…” And so you explain to her what happened afterwards in full. From her worry about what Diamond thought of her to the fact she didn’t try to kill you and take your horn after stunning you with the line of the Starlight Hook. You also explain your plan, or at least, the plan you had in your head so far.

Starlight just sat there, silent. She just sat there until finally she shook her head. “Anon, this is all really hard to digest, and I can’t believe I’m going to say it, but it actually kind of hits home with me… If she’s telling the truth.”

Woah, seriously?! HAHA! God, and you thought this was gonna be tough. Like fuck, you’re just knocking em out one by one with no problem. You had to know what the reasoning was to this. “Really? So you’re ok with the plan? What do you mean it hits home with you?”

“I didn’t say I was ok… I’m just gonna need some time to think about it. But the reason why it hits home is because… Well, y’know… I was also a megalomaniac who kind of didn’t care about the truth as long it furthered my selfish ideology…” And as she said this, she started to rub at her leg nervously “And I was willing to… Maybe, destroy the entire timeline of Equestria just to ruin Twilight and her friends’ history and life as revenge for ruining my own? Yeeeah, and then you came along and uhh… Well, you know the rest. Let’s just say I can see where this is all coming from.”

Huh… That actually makes sense to you. Should you prod to see how much she’s on your side? Yeah, you should. “Starlight, heh, then… Erm, y’know. Do you see why I need help with this then? It’s definitely not an obsession thing, I just want to give her one last chance since she’s a friend of mine. We know it can happen, we just need to find a way.”

“Anon…” Starlight sighs “I just don’t know… Look, like I said, I need some time to think about it. But just so you know, I do want to be hopeful about it, but you lack a solid plan and you still don’t seem to know how to really make it happen. It doesn’t really help my decision, but if you come up with something solid… Mnnnn. Well, maybe I can talk to Twilight about it if she’s alright with it, see if I can help you figure something out. I mean, if all else fails, you could just pretend to be gone, spread the news, and see how she reacts. That’d work for sure, if it wasn’t for the fact that she seems like the type to go on a rampage the moment she finds out it’s a lie.”

Yeeeaahhh, as interesting as it’d be to see if that’d even work on Chrysalis, her finding out the truth would probably tick her off to no end. “Yeah, that’d probably happen. Well, thanks for not giving me an outright no. But you’re right, I need to think of something solid to go with pretty soon.”

“Yeah, you really do. Because, Anon, there really is no point in making a risk without a plan. And I will say this, if you even try something without thinking it through, I’ll put a stop to it myself, ok? I don’t want to sound harsh about it, but somepony has to be there to pull you out of your own mess.” Starlight said, cementing a point that she seemed only slightly more against you than with you. You really did need to come up with something solid, or else this plan just wouldn’t work out.

“I understand, thanks for hearing me out.” You say, content with her decision.

“No problem, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” Starlight said with an optimistic grin.

Well, it seems things are still in your favor, just need to- OH SHIT! All of a sudden, you feel a magical energy grab your neck and slam you into the wall belly first, holding you in place as you choke and struggle. What in the?!

“Anon?! Anon! What’s going on?!” Starlight yelled out as she looked around the room to find out what had thrown you. An invisible creature perhaps? An earthquake?

No… It was Number One, holding his paw out towards you as he held you in place with his magic. “You little worm, I know what you’re trying to do. Convince the Commander to go along with your stupid plan? Put herself at risk for something that already failed? Well, I won’t let that happen as I tire of your nonsense…” Oh yeah, for some fucking reason, he was suddenly pissed as fuck.

“One?! What are you doing?! Let him down! NOW!” Starlight was already entering a battle position, ready to fight off the rebelling Discord clone. The fuck was his deal?!

“I will not, Commander. He doesn’t seem to understand what it is to serve under your will. In fact…” He snaps his talons, instantly trapping Starlight in chains and a gag “I think you’ll thank me for what I’m about to do. Those fools are so utterly content to fade away as a memory, but I will become eternal. Once I take Anon’s chaotic life essence, I will be able to serve you eternally, and make your will a reality!” He said, laughing an evil discordian laugh.

Holy fucking shit! Are you fucking kidding?! He’s fucking rebelling just to be forever beta to Starlight?! Well, actually, that would sound more insane to you if you didn’t realize many an MLP fan would probably kill you for that chance. Actually, wait, life essence?! OH FUCK, HE WAS GONNA KILL YOU?! Both you and Starlight struggled as he approached you, ready to rape your ass to hell.

“N-ngh, are you insane?! What’s your deal?!” You struggled to try to get your horn on your head, or at least use your Starlight Hook, which was still attached to your arm, but you just couldn’t budge from his magical grip.

“Eternity serving the Commander is my deal, and I will make it happen… By taking your essence by force.” One said in a horribly ominous way as he slipped on a surgical glove on his talons. OH FUCK, HE WAS LITERALLY GOING TO RAPE YOUR ASS TO HELL! NONONONONONO!

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