Dadonequus Discord (Book 2)

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 172 - Blooming Apples in the Queen's Garden

“Oh n-” Were the last words that escaped Tommy’s breath before the gunshot went through the back of his head. The scene, at least for ponies, was gruesome. Starlight flinched with a squeal, Twilight yelped while covering her eyes with her wings, and Rarity? Well, she was silent, staring, her gaze deeply focused as she continued to stare at the screen.

“Rarity? Woah, you didn’t even blink, you alright?” Starlight asked, baffled by Rarity’s stone cold stare.

“I’m quite alright, actually. In fact, I was awaiting a moment like this. Hard not to, given the nature of the film thus far.” Rarity said as she took a breath, and relaxed her glare as she nodded towards Starlight. “You weren’t aware this was going to happen?”

“I didn’t!” Twilight exclaimed, utterly surprised by Rarity’s nonchalance. “Rarity, how did you know he was going to get, er… You know.” Twilight puts her hoof towards the side of her head and makes a click noise as she moves her head to the side.

“Quite elementary, Twilight. Tommy was an uncouth, well, uncouth isn’t the right word for him. He was a monster, perhaps moreso than any of our former foes. The film constantly showed us that many did not like Tommy for his brazen and animalistic behavior, and that, along with the elimination of one Billy Bats, as I had said before, ensured his end. And not only for Tommy, but this will be the downfall of both Henry and Jimmy as well. Perhaps, the end of the entire crime ring.” Rarity explained.

Starlight’s eyes widened “Rarity, just, wow. I knew nopony liked him except for Henry and Jimmy, but I guess I didn’t think it’d go this far since he’s already gotten away with so much.”

“I… Think I was just still recoiling from how ruthless Jimmy is, eliminating his own crew so easily. Humans, I… I think I’m glad Anon is the only human we have ever had in Equestria.” Twilight said, her voice low, somewhat quivering.

“A young human turned colt. I’d like to think we all had a hand in raising Anon right, and that is why he’s such a charming little gentlecolt.” Rarity commented. But then she turned to see Scrappy, who was low to the ground, whimpering. “Scrappy, whatever is the matter?”

“Tommy was the queen’s favorite. I can still feel her pain, she didn’t see it coming.” Scrappy said with a whine.

“I’m not surprised.” Starlight said half sarcastically. “Though, she didn’t see it coming? I thought somepony as evil as Chrysalis would have known something like that was going to happen.”

Scrappy shook his head. “No, she liked Tommy too much to even think that. I almost thought she was going to have a heart attack! Then I remembered she doesn’t have a heart.”

“Oh, Scrappy, dear, everypony has a heart, even your former queen.” Rarity said “It’s what makes us who we are.”

“Are you sure? She was always ranting that she doesn’t have one, then again, sometimes she said she had a black heart too. Ogh, now I’m confused. Is a black heart a bad thing? It doesn’t sound very healthy.” Scrappy asked rather timidly, not wanting to think his former queen has a heart condition.

“Er, Scrappy, I’m pretty sure she was being metaphorical about that. You know, like how somepony might say ‘I’m on the way to the top!’, even though they mean to the end of their goal, or up some corporate ladder, or something like that.” Starlight explains.

“Hm? Ooooooh, well, I guess that makes more sense. Like in Canterlot, when she said nopony can stop her, and then she was stopped. I think I get it now.” Scrappy said with a smile, stood up, jumped on Twilight’s desk, and began to make a declaration. “Then, when I say I’ll protect Master Applebloom with my life, I want everypony to know I don’t mean it metaphorically! I really mean it!”

And as Rarity clapped, with the others joining in with her, you and Discord watched from afar, in a theater room, watching what was going on through a projector. “Hrn, I was expecting for Twilight to jump out the window on that one.” Discord said in surprise as he chomped down on some popcorn.

“I mean, they’re probably mostly used to Goodfellas by now. Hell, Rarity didn’t even blink. I didn’t know she’d be that into it. Kinda makes me wish Chrysalis had watched Goodfellas with her, I think they would have… AGH!” Fuck, you forgot about Chrysalis! “Shit!”

“Anon, I’m not cleaning your seat. Do I have to put you outside? I could have sworn you were potty trained.” Discord said as he jumped one seat away from you, looking at you with a disgusted stare.

“No, geez! No! I mean, I forgot to ask Chrysalis something important!” Shit! Shit! Shit!

“Ah, about the Storm Whatever. Relax, Anon, you have time for that, it’s not like she’s going anywhere. Speaking of, why can’t I just send that cretin of a chancellor away again? Nopony would have to know, you know, we’d get away with it without an issue.” Discord said, in truth, feeling rather antsy about the situation.

“Because he isn’t a bad guy, Discord. He just has a lot of bias. Plus, eventually, we’d be suspected anyway. Bla, either way, you can’t just portal your worries away.” You tell him. “I’m gonna have to be a big boy and deal with the issue, by also getting Celestia to help me.”

“Yes, you mentioned her. You are aware he won’t just trust her either, right? How exactly is she going to make a difference?” Discord asked.

“Her authority, and the fact she usually has the right thing to say. Look, he doesn’t have to trust her or me, he just needs to leave Twilight alone. And for that to happen, I need Celestia’s help. Me and her will figure something out, trust me.” You explain to Discord as you give him a sure smile.

“Well, I hope you don’t blame me for being skeptical, but the fact you’re going by the word of our local pest is what really irks me. There’s chaos, and then there’s pure idiocy. Really, why are you listening to him again? Last I remember, he wasn’t even right about Celestia having plans for you or Twilight. A bet he still whines to me about, as if I’m listening.” Discord says with a scoff “Are you really going to tell me he knows more than you?”

Ngh… “Er, actually. He sort of won the bet, er, when it came to Celestia and Twilight.”

“WHAAAAT?!” Discord grabbed you angrily as he began to shake you. “Are you telling me Celestia, Princess Celestia, is actually grooming Twilight? To take the throne as ruler of Equestria?! This is true and you didn’t bother telling me?! Why would you keep that from me when the possibilities to poke at the situation is limitless?!”

“Discord! Discord! G-geez! Stop! You gotta stop! I’m not even supposed to really tell anypony!” You yell out as you’re shaken.

“Who cares about who you shouldn’t tell! You should have told me!” Discord yelled out at you as he held you still, staring directly at you.

“Discord! I couldn’t!... Even though I just did. Look, you can’t say or do anything about it, ok?! I think I have a good relationship with Luna, alright? If she found out I told you, that would be it for me, ok? Do you understand? Discord, please, PLEASE, for once, you gotta hold back. Please?” You begin to look at him with big sad eyes. “Please? I don’t know what Luna would do to me if she knew you knew, ok? It… It actually scares me.” Dammit, why did you even mention it?! So offhandedly too. God, that was stupid! Of course Discord is gonna try something anyway, it’s too juicy for him.

Or maybe, you were wrong, as Discord slowly lowered you back down to your seat, and let out a big sigh. “So Luna told you this in confidence, I see. You make my life so difficult sometimes, Anon, I swear. For once, the opportunity for not only fun, but to test Twilight’s capabilities to their fullest just falls on my lap and I can’t do anything about it. Do you enjoy being a liability?”

“No, but, does that mean you actually won’t do anything with what I told you?” You asked. He could just lie to you. But, if there really was one thing about Discord you could count on him on, is the fact that when he seriously SERIOUSLY means something, he usually isn’t lying about it. Hopefully, anyway.

“No, not a thing. Of course, if I somehow get this information from somepony else, somepony I don’t deeply care for, then I will still do what I’m already currently planning to do. Scapegoats and all that.” Discord said with a shrug. Dammit… Well, at least it's something.

“Ugh, who would even tell you anyway?” You ask

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Sooner or later, I’ll come across this information myself.” Discord said

You sigh as you shake your head. Discord, always finding some way to get his way. “Whatever, as long as it doesn’t come back to me, you do what you do. Ugh, as for me, I gotta be a big stallion now and deal with Chrysalis. Actually, do you think I could get a free teleport for that?”

“Considering the circumstances…” Discord snaps his talons, causing your horn to glow momentarily. “Just take a full recharge as well, compliments to me. If any of this goes afoul, it’ll mean big trouble for all of us, including Fluttershy. Anon, I think you’re taking on a little too much of a chaotic payload lately.” Discord stops, as if he had some advice for you, until suddenly he leans back on his seat and continues to observe Twilight and the others, his tail snapping open a portal for you. “Bye.”

“Bye?” Wut?

“Yes, bye. I don’t want to miss any more of what we already missed. Now go away, you’re bothering me.” Discord said as he waved at you to shoo you away.

Discord, heh. He cares, he always does when the chips are down. You nod towards him, and walk through the portal. You end up standing in front of Chrysalis’s forest manor, created through your chaos magic and her near endless requests of you. But then, something was off, the front door was open, why?

“Chrysalis?” You stay at the ready as you slowly open the door, peering into the luxurious main hall of her home. The Storm Ravager, if he was alive, could be anywhere. “Chrysalis?” You call out again. You check the living room, and see nothing amiss. Was she out? Was she in her room? Was she in the basement cave? You could opt to go upstairs and ch-GYAH! Holy shit, there was suddenly a bloody yell coming from upstairs, so yep, time to go up there! “Chrysalis!” The Storm Ravager! Maybe he was attacking, or betraying, Chrysalis.

You gallop back into the main hall and head upstairs, rushing into Chrysalis’s bedroom, a dark black and murky room with green lights, another television with a dvd player, and a luxuriously comfortable bed. However, there was something amiss, because standing outside the bathroom door was… “Applebloom?! What? No, Chrysalis?”

“What?! Anon?! Anon! Are you behind this?! I should have known you’d try something like this!” Bellowed Chrysalis from the other side of the bathroom door.

Wut? WUT?! “Holy… Applebloom?! What are you?! WHAT A?! WHY?! HOW?!”

“Why is everypony so darn surprised that I’m here? Ah just used Scrappy’s map to find Chrysalis, and it ain’t like I haven’t traveled through the forest by myself before. Look, ah even got potions in mah saddlebag to deal with any forest monsters that try to get at me.” Applebloom said with a stomp, before looking back towards the bathroom door. “And you, I ain’t leavin’ til we have a talk.”

Your eye began to twitch, your hairs instantly standing on end. How the fuck?! “But what are you doing here?! As in, why?!”

“Well, ah know about the curse, and ah know Scrappy has been getting anxious about it, so ah came to see if ah could reform Chrysalis myself. It’s not like she can hurt me or anything, because, yaknow.” Applebloom points at the shackles on your legs.

“Ooooooh good, so it really is your fault, Anon! All your talk about reforming me has given your pathetic friends ideas, ideas that have them run amok in my home! Anon, if you don’t get rid of her right now, then I’ll destroy her right after I destroy Twilight Sparkle. Do you hear me?! I know you can! I will not let this curse hold me down!” Chrysalis yelled.

“Ah thought the curse was yer idea.” Applebloom told Chrysalis through the door, causing a sudden long silence.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, as Chrysalis looks upon you, then Applebloom, with utter gloom before giving out some mocking laughter. “Ha ha, you think you’re so smart, don’t you? Well then, little filly, here is your chance. Reform me. If you can’t, I’ll have Anon throw you out forever, understood?”

“Anon wouldn’t do that, he wants to help you, and so do I, for Scrappy’s sake!” Applebloom yelled out at her, giving her a hard stare.

“I’m starting to loathe my little captain again. You don’t even know me, you don’t know what I like, what I hate, what I even do as a pastime! You risked your life to come here, and for what, idle chit chat? Want to have a little girl talk? I can do that, given everything I’ve learned from Anon, I can show you things that will make you never want to be awake again!” Chrysalis says as she growls at her.

“Except, ya still can’t hurt me.” Applebloom said with a smirk.

“WHY YOU IMPUDENT!...” Chrysalis raised her hoof to slap Applebloom, but Applebloom remained unmoving, even as Chrysalis’s hoof came close. Chrysalis then stopped and looked towards you, her gloomy expression returning. “Anon, I’m ignoring her now. So please, please, tell me you’ve come to me with something a little more interesting.”

“I have… Which, er…” Christ, this was awkward. You can’t just mention the Storm Ravager around Applebloom. And sure, you could send her away with your magic, but then you run the risk of her becoming more determined to get back here, especially when it’d be a time you’d not be around. So, how to word this… “Look, I need you to tell me the truth. Are you planning on teaming up with anypony for your plans? If you are, I need to know who it is. And Chrysalis…” Here we go, here we fucking go. “This is important to me, I don’t want to have to use my magic to get you to tell the truth.”

“Oh ho, is that a threat? What? Are you going to use your magic to make me tell the truth?” Chrysalis said as she threateningly drew ever closer.

“I mean, I could just take away the car instead, if that is what you’d like.” Don’t bend to her this time, Anon, this was too important!

“How DARE you! You’d say that to me?! Who do you think you are?!” Chrysalis growled and shouted

“Your best and possibly only friend, who is trying to look out for you and make sure you don’t do anything you’d regret. Now tell me, Chrysalis, I can’t be playing games with you right now.” You demanded, which caused Applebloom to be taken aback.

“Er, what’s going on now?” Applebloom asked, confused.

Chrysalis’s anger bubbled for a moment before she sighed, gave up, and plopped her ass down. “Oh, nothing, Anon just seems to have this idea I’m working with somepony to destroy Twilight Sparkle. Anon, you don’t seem to listen very well at all, so let me say it again. I shall not, and will not work with anypony to achieve my goals. Really, do you think I’m that type of girl, throwing myself to whatever evil being that is offering their services to me at the time just so I have a chance to realize my plans? Get real, I know how it works, one mistake and I’m a statue, drained of all my power, or worse. These cursed shackles don’t help the situation either. Trust me, Anon, if there was anypony who I’d want to help me in my innocent little endeavor, it’d be you. You wouldn’t let me down, would you?” Chrysalis says as she flutters her eyes at you, before suddenly scoffing and letting out a groan. “Don’t answer that, I’d rather not hear your ‘virtuous’ answer. And… Anon? Why do you suddenly feel like you’ve lost the will to live?”

Because you truly felt she was telling the truth. She could still be lying, and yet, how could she be? The Storm Ravager fit the bill on total betrayers, he would totally throw her to the dogs the moment he was done with her, Chrysalis isn’t stupid. And sure, she could betray him first, but that’s assuming the curse lifts in time before he takes any preemptive actions.

Cozy Glow, could it really be you?

“Sheesh, Anon, she’s right, yer looking pale right now.” Applebloom added, feeling worried for you all of a sudden. “Maybe we should get him some warm water.”

“What?! Listen to me, little filly. One, you’re not using my water. And two, do not agree with me! I will not share the same opinions with a little brat like you!” Chrysalis said as she snapped back at Applebloom.

“Little brat?! Yer the brat! Why do ya gotta be mean all the time? Anon’s your best friend! He cares about you so much, and ah don’t even see how he can. All you do is use and abuse him, you don’t seem to care at all!” Applebloom shouts back at Chrysalis.

“Idiot! You can’t fathom how good our friendship is! It is certainly better than any friendship you ponies babble on about! That’s right, your pathetic friendships are no match for our evil companionship!” Chrysalis barks at Applebloom.

Applebloom looks back at you, then at Chrysalis, then back at you, then back at her. “Evil? Anon ain’t evil. He just tries really hard, and is sometimes a jerk, or a big goof. But a jerk ain’t evil, Chrysalis. Plus, Anon is a real hero, he’s risked his life for Equestria, and Scootaloo, you, just about everypony really. When it really matters, Anon is one of the best there is!”

“Woah, Applebloom, you really mean that? The hero part, I mean.” Wow, that sure was a great compliment, enough to temporarily break you from your dread. Though, looking at Chrysalis, she just rolled her eyes.

“Of course ah do. Ah meant every word. But you really can be a jerk sometimes. Aaaaanyway, Anon is good, not evil. So what in the hay are ya talkin’ about?” Applebloom asked Chrysalis, trying to beat her at her own argument.

“I'm talking about the chance he's given me, he's given me the chance to destroy Twilight Sparkle once and for all! To make that treacherous Princess Celestia weep and cry and go boohoo hooooo, ohhh boohoo.” Chrysalis then snickered as she stared down the little filly. “And that is very evil.”

“Yeah, but, he only did it because yer gonna lose. You’ll lose, then reform. Ah hope, anyway.” Applebloom said with a sigh, yet her stare never left Chrysalis’s eyes.

“You hope?! For what? Why would you even think that I’m going to lose? Oh, that’s right, because you’re a bright eyed little brat. It’s a laugh, really, a big joke. To think, you came here to try to reform me yourself, and here you are, failing, like the pathetic pony you are.” Chrysalis said with a big grin.

“Well, ah may be failin’, but ah still chased you into yer own bathroom like the fraidy cat you are.” Applebloom said, smirking back at her.

Oh no. “Woah, woah, girls, I can see where this is going and-” But you are ignored as Chrysalis explodes at Applebloom.

“YOU LITTLE… YOU IMPUDENT LITTLE… GRRR! I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, OR HIM, OR ANYPONY ELSE! YOU DIDN’T ‘CHASE’ ME INTO MY BATHROOM, I MERELY RESISTED THE URGE TO DESTROY YOU! BUT OH, SO HELP ME, BY THE POWERS OF EVIL, I’LL DESTROY YOU IF YOU DARE UTTER ONE MORE INSULT TOWARDS ME! SO GO AHEAD, TEST YOUR LUCK! EVEN IF I MAY DISAPPEAR, YOUR SISTER AND HER FRIENDS, INCLUDING TWILIGHT, WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM LOSING YOU!” Chrysalis threatened as her horn began to glow.

“Alright, alright! Wow, ah can say one thing, you were a lot nicer when you were ‘drunk’ or whatever Anon called it.” Applebloom said with an eye roll.

“YOU! Wait, what?” Chrysalis is suddenly taken aback as she looks towards you, her horn's glow snuffing out. “Is she talking about that silly stupid party, way back when?”

“Er, yeah. I mean, you don’t remember too much of it, but I did say you got drunk and-” But suddenly, Chrysalis starts angrily shouting at you once again

“Lies! I don’t care what you say, I have taken the time to realize how wrong you are. Anon! Do you really think, and I want you to ponder on this, do you actually think I’d ever show a single ounce of care or love towards anypony, ever?” Chrysalis asks you.

“Er, you like Diamond Tiara, remember?” Oh god, here we go, she has to act all evil and shitty because Applebloom is present.

Chrysalis scoffs. “Ugh, yes! I don’t mind her, she has a seed of evil still waiting to bloom within her heart. But them?” Chrysalis points to Applebloom “I refuse to believe it.”

“But it really happened! You were huggin’ on Scootaloo and everything. You were being kinda nice, er, mostly.” Applebloom said, turning her hoof from side to side to signify Chrysalis’s niceness levels.

“Oh, really? Anon, how many charges do you have? One, none?” Chrysalis asked.

“Er, actually, I got two. One of those specia- Wait, Chrysalis, no.” She was gonna ask for booze. Oh god, she was gonna fucking challenge Applebloom to something she can’t win.

“Chrysalis, yes! I am the queen! And I demand your strongest human drink! And, furthermore, you will chronicle the next thirty minutes of me verbally thrashing this stupid filly once she sees how unaffected I really am.” Chrysalis stomps her hoof down towards you. “I will not be denied by either of you.”

“Er, ah wasn’t gonna deny nothin’. But, are ya challenging me? Or, something? Ahm confused. Wait, are you gonna drink the drink that made ya drunk?” Applebloom began to ponder for a moment, then shrugged “Alright, ah ain’t gonna stop ya. But Anon, ah wanna try that stuff too! Can I?”

Oh no, oh noononononononono “We are not doing this. I am not going to be responsible for a drunk changeling, and especially, a drunk filly. Ok? Because one of us is gonna die, probably me if your sister found out about any of this.”

“But I won’t tell, promise!” Applebloom said as she hopped about, excited about the challenge “Ah wanna try it too!”

“Just give it to her, Anon. It’ll be funny.” Chrysalis said with a smirk as she looked towards Applebloom. “Because I know how it works, and you’ll spill all your secrets to me. A small victory, but tormenting you with your worst fears will be a start. And I'll have a way to view your foolishness for all time”

“Not if ah find out yer secrets first! Come on already, Anon, hit us with that ‘drunk’ drink!” Applebloom said, in further excitement, wanting to beat Chrysalis at her own game.

“Applebloom, I’m serious, I can’t give this stuff to you. And Chrysalis, you’re gonna regret it, I swear to all that is good AND evil that you are. Look, as pretty much the only responsible guy here, I’m not going to be the one to let you both mess yourselves up.” You nod towards them with authority “And that’s that.”

“Wow, Anon, yer not fun at all. Humph.” Applebloom plopped on her ass, pouting at you with annoyance.

“He gets like this a lot. Suddenly decides to be more righteous and good than he really is, trying to be some sort of knight that believes we’re damsels in need of protection from ourselves. I’m sure you noticed that about him.” Chrysalis says as she pretty much does the same thing, sitting and pouting, annoyed.

“Yeah, sometimes he’s being all shady, then sometimes he wants to be all adult about things and tell us we shouldn’t be doin’ this or that.” Applebloom says with a sigh.

“And you fell in love with him? I can only guess you regret that now.” Chrysalis says.

“Well, it ain’t like I became his marefriend or anything. Glad I ain’t in fact. Ah think I’d go nuts, ah dunno how Diamond Tiara does it.” Applebloom says, really unsure on how yours and Diamond’s relationship works.

“She keeps him in line, and does quite a good job of it too. He’s a whipped colt, all this is just a facade.” Chrysalis says as she looks towards you with a grin. “Come now, Anon, just give us the drinks.”

“Yeah, Anon, or are you a whipped colt?” Applebloom said, copying Chrysalis in a way to goad you into doing it.

You started to tremble. oh, so that’s it? Huh? You know what? Why not? You can make sure Applebloom will never ask for a ‘drunk’ drink ever again, you get to slam dunk Chrysalis, since you'll have a recording of her dumbass shit. “Fine! You know what? Fine! But nopony finds out about this, ok? I want your word, Applebloom. I don’t want you telling Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, or even Scrappy.”

Applebloom rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah, ah promise.”

“Finally. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, stupid filly, you’re going to experience quite a bad time.” Chrysalis said with a snicker.

Oh, they both will. You slap on your horn and use a spell that puts you in a classy bartender’s suit, complete with a slicked back mane as a table with various bottles, a mixer, and two glasses appear before you. “Alright, let’s get you two a drink!”

Comments

[Munro]

oohh this wont end well ...

[EntropyEntropy]

That echo you hear? That's me, screaming in the void that is Anon's head to throw Applebloom home and tell Chrysalis about the Storm King's potential return.

[Noobblue]

Apple bloom is going to be completely fine. I can see the scene now, she's just going to think it's gross, and that's it, no other response.

[CrazedLaughter]

10415612
Goddamn you!

[Hein des Nisseroi]

Ogh, now i’m confused.

Lowercase i should be uppercase.

“Evil? Anon, ain’t evil.

The comma seems unnecessary.

as she looks towards youher horn's glow snuffing out.

Missing space. Also comma?

You started to tremble, oh, so that’s it?

The first comma seems like it should be a period.

Also, sorry for being so late with my comment.

[CrazedLaughter]

10420780
no trouble, Hein, you know you're appreciated

[luigipwnsall]

You started to tremble. oh, so that’s it? Huh? You know what? Why not? You can make sure Applebloom will never ask for a ‘drunk’ drink ever again, you get to slam dunk Chrysalis, since you'll have a recording of her dumbass shit. “Fine! You know what? Fine! But nopony finds out about this, ok? I want your word, Applebloom. I don’t want you telling Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, or even Scrappy.”

i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/583/973/fc8.png

Did anon forgot what bait was?

[Hein des Nisseroi]

10428349
My guess is that that is some sort of phrase to say that someone is irrationally agitated.

[Walrusesarecute]

You started to tremble. oh, so that’s it? Huh? You know what? Why not? You can make sure Applebloom will never ask for a ‘drunk’ drink ever again, you get to slam dunk Chrysalis, since you'll have a recording of her dumbass shit. “Fine! You know what? Fine! But nopony finds out about this, ok? I want your word, Applebloom. I don’t want you telling Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, or even Scrappy.”

FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK?!??!?!