• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 98 - The Ex-X-Captain

You now had to waste a few more hours, that’s all. But what were you going to do now? You sighed to yourself as your eyes trailed across your room, up until your gaze stopped upon the blinds of your window. “Hmmm…” You wonder to yourself, where did the X-Captain disappear to? You walk over to the blinds and open them up. Still, there was nothing beyond the window. You slowly place your hoof on the window, and think to yourself. You had unlimited power, and the X-Captain was reckless as fuck at this point. You should be able to safely search for him and see if he’s ok. Ugh, you wanted to see if he was ok, were you that weirded out that he wasn’t at the window for so long? Yeesh… Well, you could always slice him to little bits if he suddenly tries to attack you. Blowing him up may not work, but a giant cleaver to the eye sure would.

You take a deep breath and open the window. The first thing you do however is put on your horn and throw out a lifeless clone of yourself as bait, just in case he was waiting for this. Nope, it just floats off into the distance. Welp, with that, you climb through the window and enter the zero gravity ridiculousness that is the chaos realm. You start investigating close to the house, looking for any signs for the X-Captain. Some blast marks, pieces of floating carapace, and some droplets of salty water just floating about… But no X-Captain. But these had to be clues as to where he went. You summon up a dog nose onto yourself which WAS GOHTFDG OH GOD, BAD IDEA! EVERYTHING SMELLS FUCKING TERRIBLE!

You rip off the dog nose, which seems to get a life of its own and starts sniffing at the clues. Well, that’s convenient. The nose then starts to hop left and right, trying to get your attention. You just roll your eyes and say “...I’m not doing that bit.”

The nose suddenly let out a whimper and starts to flatten, it looked fucking miserable all of a sudden. Ugh… The things you do just to get things done. “What is it, boy?” You sigh, annoyed “Did you find the X-Captain? Did you? You did?! Come on, boy, show me where he is!” You said as you clapped your hooves together.

The nose jumped up and danced around a bit before flying off into the distance, towards a small planetoid with a single island on it… That was somehow not in flames despite the planetoid’s ocean being fucking lava. The nose itself was just dashing towards the island without fear, and hell, as you followed along, you noticed the area felt more cool than hot. Thus is the oddity of this chaotic realm.

The nose lands, with you after, on the small island. The island itself could be seen as a nice little getaway, despite the lava sea. It had a few palm trees with… Oranges. And er, salt for sand. Hmmm, and the grass was waving despite no wind. Well, at least the grass wasn't literal blades. “O-k, why are we here? I don’t see a flying mass of ball anywhere and… Huh?” The nose was stretching itself to form an arrow, pointing forward towards the beach before puffing up and disappearing into the air. “Want me to go to the beach, huh? Ugh… Better be ready to blast shit just in case.” You tap at your horn a little bit then begin your walk forward. It takes a little while, but you finally reach the beach. Hmm, the lava gave things an eerie glow, but it just felt like a cool day otherwise. “Hello? Anypony here?” You call out as you step forward, looking around for any signs of life.

“Mnnnmmmmm.” You hear a long sigh over you all of a sudden, prompting you to look up. And what you see… Was, what? It was a changeling, a normal changeling, hanging from the branch of a palm tree. He was just hanging there, looking depressed. No way… It couldn’t be, could it?

“Hey! You up there! Who are you?!” You yelled out to the depressed changeling.

The changeling just slowly looks down at you, then forward once again as he lets out a sigh. “Great, he’s here. My one chance to destroy him, and I don’t even feel like it. I don’t feel like anything… I’m so worthless.”

Oh… Ok? Well, given those words, that was fucking him. But what happened? He looked normal. “X-Captain, is that you?”

“That’s not even my name anymore. It’s Ex-Captain… Or is it Ex-X-Captain? I don’t know anymore, just let me waste away.” He groaned.

Ok, that was one hundred percent him. But god, what happened?! “Hey! What happened to you? How did you change back to normal?”

“What does it matter? I went from a beach ball back to my worthless normal form. Your marefriend was right, I was screaming for nothing. I’m no king, I’m a bug, a useless bug. I can’t even get past a stupid window.” He said in a whine.

He was really depressed. Wait, holy shit, did really Diamond do this to him?! Wooooah, you did not see that coming. Now what do you do? You hated the guy, but it was also fun to insult him. But now, he was back to his normal self and was looking pretty suicidal. Hell, he could attack you right now and he just didn’t seem to care. “Uhm… I mean, ok? So what? Are you done now? I mean…” He just looked down at you, with a broken frown and shattered soul. Oh god, he looked fucking pathetic. “Er…” No seriously, what do you do about this? Do you talk to him? Is this a reformation chance? Like fuck, he looked so depressed. “You wanna come down so we can talk at all?”

“...Ok, I guess.” He sighed and began to roll over, suddenly turning into a giant rock as he came down next to you. He then turned back, and sighed as he laid there. “... Missed, couldn’t even crush you when you were standing still. Just end it, please, I should have disappeared when the queen blew me up the first time.”

Geez, were you really starting to feel bad for him? “I mean, I dunno… Maybe? Look, really, what’s up with you? You look horrible.”

“I feel horrible. My dreams of conquest, destroying you and the queen, mutating my siblings to form a deadly army… All for nothing. I can’t even get through a window, or crush you, or win… At all. I can’t even end myself. I tried diving into the lava, but I just got spat out onto this beach. Fitting, even the lava hates me, and I don’t even think it’s sentient.” He says in a somber tone.

Oof, this guy basically gave up on life. Was he really, REALLY, so focused on domination that he- Never mind, why do you ask yourself such a stupid question? “I… Look man. I… Ok, I didn’t see this coming at all, and I mean…” God, you really had no idea what to say to him. “So, what, are you just seriously done?”

“With everything? Sure… I’m alone, nopony wants me, nopony wants me to lead their armies. I miss the queen. She took care of us, she never really let us down. We were just having a rough streak… Now she hates me, my siblings hate me, you hate me. Erm, well actually, I hate you still too.” The Ex-Captain sighs and nuzzles his face in the salt “But I just don’t feel like anything anymore.”

Fucking god, now you were depressed. Fucking changelings, goddammit! This really was the reason Chrysalis was the queen of all of them, because every single one of them were pretty much morons or tooty fruities without her. “Ok, look. I can’t leave you like this. I can bring you back to the house, get the orb set up for you. I dunno, if you promise not to try anything I could maybe help you get reformed and stuff so you can rejoin your siblings. How does that sound?”

The Ex-Captain looked up at you, a shimmer of hope slowly going into his eyes. “You’d really help me? Even after I wanted to destroy you?”

“Yeah… Yeah…” You sigh, god you were dumb. “It’s sorta the pony way and all that.”

“O-ok, I can do that, I think. I mean, you’re not trying to trick me or anything, right? You’re not just gonna destroy me first chance you get?” He asks, slowly standing up to join you.

“Nah, it’s cool. The basement is free and as long as you promise not to touch your old queen’s car, everything should be good.” Ok, so far so good, he really seems normal so far.

“Ok. I can handle that, I’m used to not touching any of my former queen’s things. And maybe this won’t be so bad, maybe Thorax will make me captain when I go back to the hive.” The Ex-Captain stated, hope slowly returning to him.

“Yeah, sure, why not?” Please, please don’t let this be a mistake. Huh, this was easy. Well, at least changelings were also easy to convince. Well, everyone of them except Chrysalis herself.

“Yes! I like that possibility. Then yes, absolutely, I shall rejoin you with no urge to have you destroyed. Ahh…” The Ex-Captain sighs in relief “I feel good now. Especially since that hideous lump of a moron is gone.”

“Yeah, he was…” You stop as your eyes go wide… OH NO! WHERE DID THE STORM KING GO?! “Woah, woah! Wait! WAIT! I just realized the Storm King isn’t on you! W-where is he?! Where did he go?!”

The Ex-Captain shrugged “I don’t know. I changed back to normal when I went back in the lava aASFSDDAS” Suddenly, a black and red lightning blast slams into the Ex-Captain, sending him backwards, skidding across the salt.

…Oh shit.

“Finally! Was waiting on my cue but you two were just taking forever. HYA!” Suddenly, lava bursts from the shore ahead as a winged demon flies out of it and lands a few feet in front of you. “Heya, Kid, good to see ya! Gonna be good to rip you to shreds too. But first, let me make my grand reintroduction.” Still covered in lava, the figure stands up high and bursts his wings out, causing the lava around him to fly away in globs. Oh god, it was the Storm King alright. He was still in demon form, but somewhat larger than before, his teeth sharpened like knives. His fur was now patched, with some of the X-Captain’s skin making up parts of his body. His demonic arm was now heftier as well, and covered in tiny tentacles. The gem from the staff, now just pieces of red glowing shards, crackled with a black red hue. “Say hello to the Storm Ravager! Third iteration of my glorious self, and even bigger and badder than ever before! Gotta tell ya, kid, I’m really looking in getting me some of that old fashioned revenge.” The Storm King, or rather, Ravager cackled as he brought his fist to his demonic palm.

Ohhhhhhhh good, things just got real.

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