• Published 16th Jun 2018
  • 2,239 Views, 1,203 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter



With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 1 - The Punishment of the Storm King

The large beholder like mutant changeling, with his tentacles full of holes, hovered in his usual spot. Yes, as always, he was there waiting behind the window for his opportunity to barge inside and feast upon your flesh. But this time he seemed rather annoyed. Actually, it was a rather odd and new sight to see from him for once as he did his best to focus on a rather small book he was reading.

He slowly shifted his single eye to you and groaned “What’s so special about the morning? You can’t even tell it’s morning.”

Ok then… “Er, uhhh…” You were speechless, you had expected the usual routine of closing the blinds on him. But he was acting rather unusual. “What’s with the book?”

“Oh this?” He holds the book up to you, it seemed to be a book of old legends. “Something that floated by. But you must be wondering why I lack the desire to enact my perfect plan of destroying you, the queen, and everything else really.”

It was odd hearing him so calm, he sounded almost like his old self. “I-I guess. I mean, are you finally off of that and wanting to become good?”

The X-Captain scoffed at your words “Haha…no. Your destruction will come soon enough. Right now, I’m trying to take my focus away from myself. You know…” He suddenly looks at you with a flaring red eye “BECAUSE THE WRETCHED BEING YOU STUCK TO MY BACKSIDE WON’T STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW HE LOST! HOW HE’S STUCK ON MY BACKSIDE! AND HOW HE HAS THESE HORRIBLE PLANS OF JUST WANTING TO CONQUER THE WORLD! WHO WANTS TO CONQUER IT WHEN YOU CAN DESTROY EVVVVERRRYYYTHING! YOU’LL RUE THE DAY YOU DID THIS TO ME, ANON! I WILL DESTROY YOU, FIND A WAY TO REVIVE YOU, AND THEN DESTROY YOU ONCE MORE! I SWEAR IT! EVEN WHEN HE ISN’T SCREECHING! I CAN STILL HEAR HIS STUPID STUPID THOUGHTS! REEEEEEEE!”

Ahh, there we go. Classic X-Captain.

The being he was talking about was the Storm King. After you and Discord had fun with his head, you had decided to stick him in a place most befitting of his personality...The X-Captain’s metaphorical ass.

The Storm King…

This guy, under his smarmy business like demeanor laid the black heart of a brutal tyrant. He was willing to kill,conquer, and destroy to get what he wants. He was even willing to blast Fluttershy into nothingness without a second thought. They way he brutalized you, the way he treated your friends, his malicious nature cruel enough to blast Canterlot into dust just because he couldn’t have his epic final battle. You felt death was too good for him, and you could never let the princesses know he was still alive either. His evil nature awoke some of your own sleeping human nature when it came to punishment and vengeance. He couldn’t get away with what he had done, and so you felt this was a proper punishment; a punishment even Tartarus couldn’t provide. Sure, you could be malicious and put him through eternal pain. But you felt being stuck with the ever screeching kidney stone may be an even worse punishment than that.

You smirk at the X-Captain and swirl your hoof about “Alright, alright. Turn around and I’ll have a chat with him, I’ll see if I can calm him down.”

“YOU’LL REMOVE HIM, OR ELSE!” The X-Captain slams his tentacles onto the window and slithers them about in rage.

You just shrug “I mean, I could...But I won’t. So it’s either this or you deal with him yourself.”

“ANON! I SWEAR! YOU WILL DO IT OR I’LL MAKE THINGS WORSE FOR YOU! THE IMBECILE WON’T EVEN CALM DOWN ABOUT MY NEWLY ACQUIRED ABILITY TO PRODUCE FECAL MATTER! WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?! I ONLY GO ABOUT SIX TIMES A DAY! IT RELIEVES ME OF SOME OF THE STRESS OF AWAITING THE DAY OF YOUR DESTRUCTION!” The X-Captain continues to screech without rest.

Lordy, you didn’t realize it was that bad….good, the fucker deserves it. “Well, that ability to relieve yourself came from me. So, you kinda owe me one. So again, either I talk to him or I’m just going to go.”

The X-Captain goes silent for a moment and just gives you a hard stare. Then,with an annoyed grunt, he slowly spins around to reveal the ever deformed head of the Storm King on his back side. His monkey hairs thinned and ghostly white, and his skin grafted with the mutated chitin of the X-Captain’s spherical body. He looked like a wreck, but he was still capable of coherent thought despite his homely form. He looked pretty disheveled at the moment, like he barely slept.

“Yo, Stormy, what’s up?!” You say to him with a cheerful smile “Not getting along with your new friend?”

“Ugh...guh? YOU!” The Storm King suddenly becomes alert as he darts his eyes towards you “You little pipsqueak! Finally! You’re going to undo this spell or you’re gonna suffer real bad. Trust me kid, I know people.” He was putting on a sudden tough front.

Welp, at least he and the X-Captain have a lot in common when it comes to threatening you. “That’s a lot of shit you're spouting there, Stormy. Something I’ve heard you’ve been doing a lot of these days.”

The Storm King’s right eye twitched in anger as he bared his crooked teeth for a moment. Oh yeah, he was super pissed off. But he kept his cool, it was obvious he had been thinking of something to say to you for quite some time. “Kid, it is the worst experience in my life, every time. Look, I get it, you’re still upset about the whole “invasion” thing. I get that, but don’t you think your princesses would get a little testy to know you’ve enacted cruel and REALLY unusual punishment instead of sending me to...Oh, I dunno...Tartarus or something? Last I checked, they kind of frown at this sort of treatment. So, come on, you’ve had your fun. So at least send me there, because you know they’ll find out eventually. And what then? Huh?”

This fucking guy. You wondered how long he was prepping that pathetic attempt to persuade you. You already let the princesses rip you away from a friend. Sure, said friend had a ton of crimes on her back that you couldn’t just make go away, but still. And this guy? He was no friend, and you weren’t going to let the princesses even realize what you’ve done this time. He deserves this. If he had won, you don’t know what you would have done had you survived his attack on Canterlot. And if you didn’t survive, then you were sure whatever Discord would have in mind would be a million times worse. Fuck the princesses mercy, and fuck this guy.

“I don’t care. So deal with it, because the only reprieve you’re gonna get from now on is trying to get along with your new friend you’re stuck with.” You tell this to him with a smile, but your eyes were filled with hatred for him.

“GRRR..Guh...mmnn” The Storm King nearly loses it. But he calms himself again and tries to appeal to your better nature. “C’mon, kid. All this guy talks about is about destroying you. And his screaming? There are days I can’t even sleep! Have a heart, kid. Don’t you think I’ve had enough? I don’t even have a body of my own anymore. C’mon, cut a deal with me. Anything you want? It’s yours, just get me out of here!” He was really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

“Let me tell you something. You threatened my friends, my home, and my family. I don’t give a DAMN about what the princesses think. I don’t give a fuck how bad your suffering is. This is your new home now, and you’re going to deal with it. And don’t even try to tell me you can better yourself either. Sorry, I don’t care if you can or can’t. You fucked up, and now you gotta deal with it. Or maybe I should put it in a way you can understand.” You look at him with a deathly stare as you put on your horn. Maybe this was a waste of a charge, but you really wanted to send a message to him. Using your magic, you turn temporarily turn your room into a gigantic fireworks display. And donning a tophat and cane, you point to a gigantic elaborate billboard that says “Mercy for sale!”.

You give him a sneaky salesman smirk as you adjust your tophat “See that?”

“Yeah!” The Storm King, being desperate for an out, answers as predictably as you thought he would “How much?”

“Ooooohhhh!” You say with false pained strain in your voice “All out! All sales are final too! No refunds! And that’s the last I’ll ever be sellin’” You then rest your legs on your cane as you rest your head on your legs, giving the Storm King an arrogant smirk “So, get it now?” You say as everything begins to revert back to once it was.

The Storm King finally releases his pent up rage, he could no longer contain himself. “YOU LITTLE! I SWEAR! I WILL DESTROY YOU! YOUR FAMILY! EVERYTHING! YOU THINK THIS IS OVER?! OH NO! IT’S ONLY BEGUN! AND..no...NO! HAHA! I WON’T DESTROY YOU! I’LL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAVE! OH YEAH! PEOPLE ARE GONNA PAY TO SEE WHAT I’VE GOT LINED UP FOR YOU! YOU HEAR ME!?”

You then hear the X-Captain speak “FINALLY! HE FINALLY GETS IT! TOOK HIM LONG ENOUGH!”

You just shrug as you prepare to close the blinds “Ok then, you do that. Yo, X-Captain, you good now?”

“YES!” The X-Captain yells as he quickly turns around to thank you while the Storm King whines that he wasn’t done screaming his revenge “WE’RE FINALLY THINKING AT THE SAME LEVEL! FINALLY! I mean, that won’t mean I’ll give you any mercy! BUT AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER ANYMORE! THIS CALLS FOR A VICTORY POOP!”

You just nod to him and chuckle “You do that, have fun!”

You close the blinds as you hear the Storm King beg for his sanity.

You then look to the floor door as you adjust your mane “Well, that was fun. I hope Discord is ready, because we got a game to win.”

Author's Note:

This was a sort of Epilogue for the Storm King. An idea I used from a user named "Rainbow Kirby". However, given how the movie chapters went. I felt this was something Anon would do in his current state.

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