Dadonequus Discord (Book 2)

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 282 - Cooking with Discord

Author's Note:

I admit this is a short chapter. It is basically to get back into writing and pace myself after having to adjust to my move.

“...So that’s literally what he’s been doing? Cooking?” You asked Tempest.

You both had headed down the other side of the grand hall, towards the hallways to the dining room and kitchen. Before she even answered, you could smell a cavalcade of flavor hit your nose.

Tempest nodded. “According to Grubber, it has been nonstop. It’s obvious he’s trying to keep his mind off what happened. Whenever you’re mentioned, he becomes annoyed, saying he doesn’t need to be reminded. And whenever Fluttershy is mentioned, he explodes.”

“Damn, so he really is having trouble keeping it together. But why does he get annoyed when I’m mentioned? That doesn’t sound like him.” Indeed, it didn’t. You have seen what happens when he actually believes that you got hurt. He tenses, he becomes worried, and in more dire situations, he doesn’t put on his usual act.

“I’m at a loss on that one. I would have assumed he’d explode at the mention of you, especially since it seemed like you were lost forever. But according to Grubber, it’s almost like he doesn’t care at all. I’m not a psychiatrist, but it sounds like a defense mechanism to me.” Tempest remarked.

A defense mechanism? It could be, could be that he just wanted to try to forget what happened to you, to try to remove the intense loss he must feel. Seems he didn’t realize that chaos cannot destroy cha- Oh, wait a second, that doesn’t make any sense.

He’d have to know that. He’s the lord of chaos, the very spirit of it. There was no way he thought you actually died.

Your head started to have quick visions, like, and you would never admit this to anyone and no one would ever find out, like a Jimmy Neutron brain blast. You knew he knew you weren’t dead, you knew if he thought that, he’d have actually been pissed off. His focus would be on Fluttershy, who would be in actual danger at this very moment. Discord…

Welp… Better prepare for shenanigans. Stay calm and don’t get pissed at it, he’s in terrible turmoil. “No… He knows I’m okay, he always knew.”

“Hm? How can you be so sure?” Tempest asked. But when you looked back at her, right when you were about to speak, she suddenly seemed to figure it out. “...Never mind, because he understands all the intricacies of chaos, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Damn, Tempest, you’re always on the ball. How do you do it?”

“It isn’t a matter of how, it’s just the way I have to be. Not for my sake, but for everyone else's. Besides, it isn’t that hard to figure out. The only thing that still vexes me these days is how Grubber is able to get more athletic with his training and yet still have cake in his diet.” Tempest said with a snicker. “I won’t lie, I wish I could do that.”

“Seriously? How much cake does he have a day?” You asked.

“Erm… Some questions are better left unanswered. Speaking of…” Tempest was as attentive as always as you didn’t even realize you were already in the kitchen. ”Grubber, report in!”

“I-I don’t mean not to, but sorta busy!” Grubber said frantically as you could hear the clanging of steel behind a pile of cooked meals of various delights. “Back off, you sad excuse of a macaroni painting! Hedgehog Stew ain’t on the menu!”

“Then why did you hand me the page for it? You pudgy pin cushion! It isn’t like we have any other hedgehog here to turn into a stew!” Discord said, garbed in a chef hat, as he fought a sword battle against Grubber with a spork. Grubber, even with his stubby hands, fought remarkably well with a butter knife.

“It was an accident, you mis-matched mug! I can’t even read whatever was on that cookbook! We were literally cooking everything else for hours on end! How was I supposed to-EEP!” Suddenly, a huge burst of magic shot right at Grubber’s knife, knocking it out of his grip, bouncing towards Discord’s spork and disarming him as well.

“Enough! We’re not cooking Grubber, and the cooking in general is over. We have work to do!” Tempest shouted harshly before looking over at Discord. “Discord, I’d rather not deal with your shenanigans right now. You’re aware Anon is alright, right?”

“Well, yes, clearly, he’s standing right next to you.” Discord said as he pointed directly at you without concern. Tempest shook her head in disappointment from his seemingly up-front aloofness, but she put her feelings aside right after, not wanting to deal with it knowing what he was truly concerned about.

“Wha?! Anon?!” Grubber said in absolute surprise as he ran up to you to check you out. He tapped your one ear and then stared at the dried glue where your neck should be, taking note of your eyepatch as well. “Geez, I heard ya got blown to pieces, but I guess that ain’t even enough to take you out. So, what bozo put you back together anyway? Does it hurt? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, and don’t worry about that. How have you been, Grubber?” You asked. You internally agreed with Tempest, you didn’t want to deal with any shenanigans. There were more important things at stake.

“Oh, you know, taking care of things, as usual.” Grubber said with a cool shrug before patting your back. “Good to have you back though. Seriously, I’m blown away that you’re okay. I guess I was wrong, nothing can stop you.”

Heh, you had to smile at that, those had to be the kindest words Grubber has given to you yet. “Thanks, um, yeah, I guess I am.”

“You are, buddy. That’s really gotta hurt though, yeesh. Dunno what I’d do if I ended up looking like that though. I may have not wanted to come back. Anyyyway…” Grubber turned to Tempest and saluted. “Tempest, ma’am! Guessing we’re already ready for that council thing, huh?”

Tempest nodded “Yes, head over to Chrysalis’s room, we’ll meet you there.”

“Gotcha!” Grubber said with another salute before looking at you, giving you a thumbs up before rushing off.

You sighed, then looked at Discord. “So… You knew all this time, huh?”

“Of course I did, I'm not an idiot. And I actually agree with the grassmat. Just look at you…” Discord slowly approached you as he quickly scooped you up and tapped at your singular ear. “You're missing your ear, your tail, eye. I don’t even know if your brain is all there…” That… That was a phrase that was a real eye opener, geez... Oh geez. “Oh, my poor little Anon.” Discord said as he suddenly dropped you on the ground and looked behind himself, his voice becoming militant. “This is why I became so frustrated when that fool, Tirek, shattered you to bits. To put you back together, perfectly, would have been a time and a half, a whirlwind adventure even! I’d just need Twilight to accompany me. And Spike. And some priest. And, erm, none of you would know a pony good with a giant boomerang, would you?” Discord said as he looked at the both of you with a sheepish grin.

…Did he drop you on your face for…

For…

…You know what… Fine. You just groaned as you spoke. “Discord, look. We got work to do, okay? I’m glad to see you, but shit is really serious right now. We’re planning on infiltrating Tirek’s castle; Take him and Cozy Glow down. I know you’re worried about her.”

Discord tensed, he suddenly became more docile and serious as he looked back with a somber expression. “...I appreciate not saying her name.”

“I know, heard you been exploding at the mention of it. So, how about it, then? I know you still got some magic in you, you ready to kick some ass?” You asked him, giving him a reassuring yet arrogant smirk.

Discord looked down at both his legs, pulled one off, and floated upwards as he cocked it. “With all the force I can muster! Come, we must plan to save Flutt-” And with that, Discord exploded, whatever bits of him falling to the ground.

“And it happened again. Well, let’s not waste any time, I’m sure he’ll pull himself back together during the meeting.” Tempest said with an eye roll as she turned back towards the main hall. “I know that’s how he is. But he needs to take things more seriously.”

You looked back at the small blast stains he left on the floor, then began to follow Tempest. “Trust me, he is. He just can’t resist putting on a show.”

Comments

[Hein des Nisseroi]

Hedgehog Stew ain’t on the menu!”

Discord exploding when he himself mentions her made me chuckle a little.

Now for potential errors:

Not for my sake, but for everyone elses.

else's

in the kitchen.”Grubber, report in!”

Missing space.
First set of closing quotation marks should be opening ones. (?)

that had to be the kindest words Grubber has given to you yet.

those (?)

Your missing your ear

You're

So, how about it then?

Missing comma before ‘then’. (?)

[Resu]

“Trust me, he is. He just can’t resist putting on a show.”

That is so freaking wholesome. I have an image in my head of the relieved smile Anon is wearing while walking away from the scorch marks. I wish I knew how to put it on paper.

[Walrusesarecute]

Discord looked down at both his legs, pulled one off, and floated upwards as he cocked it. “With all the force I can muster! Come, we must plan to save Flutt-” And with that, Discord exploded, whatever bits of him falling to the ground.

amazing.