• Published 16th Jun 2018
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) - CrazedLaughter

With the exodus of Chrysalis, Anon's life finally starts to go back to normal. Or rather, as normal as it can be when being the adopted son of the spirit of chaos. But new problems await him. What they are? Who knows...

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Chapter 109 - The Anon/Twilight Team Up

You teleported yourself in front of Twilight’s doors as you contemplated the last moments you just had. You realized a few things: From the fact your body is nowhere near as sturdy as your head, to the fact Smolder was kind of shaping up to be as cool a friend as Scootaloo, perhaps even more so in that regard. And then there was this business with Chrysalis, and also why the fuck is Twilight’s school so damn glamorous? Like fucking hell, forget about everything else, the entrance had fucking waterfalls and watery steps and a little bridge and all that shit, how much did it fucking cost to build this fucking place? Wait, Anon, don’t go down this line of thinking. You have to focus… And not on hippogriffs, don’t do that either.

Actually, maybe you should take this news to Starlight first. She was basically Twilight Two, cared about your well being, and was more your friend than she was. Then again, Starlight seems to trust the situation less than Twilight does, which is fucking amazing when you think about it. Then again, your thoughts are broken when you hear the familiar ring of your codec. Discord?

“Discord? What’s up man? Sorta busy.” You tell him

“‘Sorta busy?’ Anon, I hope you’re not serious. I have the whole explanation about my essence whipped up and ready to go. What could you be doing right now that is more important than that?” Woo, Discord sounded pretty annoyed. About what? That? You didn’t need to know that shit, you were perfectly capable of handling yourself without it.

“Dude, I need to talk to Twilight about Chrysalis andFSDDSA” Suddenly, you are blown away as Discord appears in front of you in a grand yet very silent explosion.

“Pardon me…” Discord said as he magically pulls a popcorn bag out of a conjured floating microwave. “But did I just hear you were going to talk to Twilight about Chryssy? And you didn’t invite me? For shame, Anon, I’m sure we’ve talked about something like this before.”

Goddammit, you should have kept your mouth shut on this one. “Because I could tell this wasn’t gonna be something you’d help me with. Dammit, Discord! This is a really delicate situation, ok? Unless you’re legit going to help me, you can fuck right off, I don’t need your bullshit right now. I’m this close, THIS CLOSE, to finally fixing everything.”

“Ah yes, your ever grand delusion, how could I forget.” Discord says with a snicker before slithering around you and petting your head. “But fret not, Anon, it’s not like I need to make my presence known. I’ll be right out of sight if you just allow me to have a front row seat to the chaos that is about to ensue.”

You roll your eyes at him, what a crock of shit. “If I say no, you’ll just make things worse for me? Is that it? Because I know you won’t just accept me saying no.”

Discord slithers away from you, hovering above you as he just randomly starts to shave his popcorn. “Considering how far our relationship has come, I find it rather surprising you’d think telling me no would make things worse for you, when in fact I’d just do what I do anyway and watch from afar as Twilight’s mind melts from whatever you’re about to tell her. To put it simply, Anon, I’m not here to help or hinder you.” Discord pulls up a lawn chair and lays down to relax as he makes a soda appear with his popcorn. “I’m just here to enjoy the show, that’s all.”

Hmph, telling him no usually does make things worse, no matter how far the relationship has come. Though on the flipside, he has helped you countless times before just on a whim. But this one time, you needed to do this on your own. “Ok then, fine, you can watch and get your jollies. But please, let me just have this one, ok?”

“Yes, Anon, I said I would.” Discord said with an eye roll as he poofed away, his voice still echoing around. “Don’t know why you’re being this antagonistic to me though, especially considering all the fun you’ve been having with the power of chaos. Children these days, sooooo unappreciative. Oh, and on that note, we really should talk about your changeling friend too.”

“Yeah, maybe I… Discord? Yo, Discord? Bah, he’s gone, or just not answering. Ugh, totally forgot about the XX-Captain. Wonder how he’s even passing the time. Hmm, whatever.” You look towards Twilight’s door and try to focus on your objective. “Remember Anon, you are close. And don’t take any of Twilight’s shit either. Because, er, y’know, if Starswirl told you do not take Celestia’s shit, then that surely applies to Twilight as well. And…” You stop your speech as you blink blankly, then bring your hoof to your face.

“Y’know, Anon, I don’t mean to butt in, considering I’m supposed to have disappeared and all, but you do realize spouting exposition is a nasty habit, right? I don’t even mean to sound naggy about it, it’s just a thought you might want to consider.” Discord’s voice rang out with an echo.

You just stood there, grumbling. Who is he to talk? Can’t even fucking stop rambling to nothing whenever something doesn’t go his way. Anyway, enough of that. You slowly open the doors to Twilight’s office and step inside. Twilight herself seemed to be in a good mood, she was looking over some papers as Spike stood to her side, taking notes. “I really can’t believe how well this is going so far, Spike. No trouble, no complaints, and Chancellor Neighsay hasn’t had anything to say.”

“Well, that’s because he hasn’t shown up yet. But yeah, everycreature seems pretty happy with the classes so far. You sure it was ok to let Pinkie go ahead with today’s lesson though? I mean, usually it’d be fine, but that Neighsay guy might have a fit if he sees students just walking around town during school hours.” Spike said, obviously worried over the situation.

“It’ll be alright no matter what. And even if he does have something to say…” Twilight walks over to her window, and looks through it, to look towards town, a confident smile on her face. “Then I’ll just tell him that once upon a time, a unicorn showed up in this very town, disinterested in friendship. And-” But before Twilight could finish, Spike interrupted her.

“Let me stop you right there, Twilight. Chancellor Creepoid will probably only agree to your origin story because you’re a pony. Remember, this guy seems to have a chip on his shoulder about everycreature else, so he’ll probably just end up saying something mean about them.” Spike walked over to the window to stand by Twilight, staring out with her. “And I don’t know if we can trust this whole experiment thing either. The guy seemed TOO ok with letting you go against EEA regulation stuff. Makes me wonder if he doesn’t have some sort of spy wandering around, waiting for you to slip up.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That’s exactly what he had, in you. B-but, y’know, that doesn’t mean much now. Y-you like the students here so far, and Neighsay hasn’t tried contacting you in a while. S-so, y’know, it’s not like it’s that bad. Whatever, you had more pressing matters at hand. The whole Neighsay thing could be dealt with when and if he tries to talk to you again. You clear your throat, then make yourself known. “Heya Twilight, Spike, what’s up? How’s the second day of friendship school coming along?”

“Anon? Oh, ahrm…” Spike was surprised to just see you there. He looked over to the doors and could see they had been opened. He figured he just missed it due to his discussion with Twilight. “Goin’ great! It’s goin’ super great actually. No hiccups or anything. Of course, that is thanks to Twilight and the elements of harmony, plus your good ole pal, Spike.”

“He’s right, Um… But, what are you doing here, Anon?” Seemed Twilight didn’t want to just throw out mindless approvals of the going ons of her school, as she seemed more interested in your presence. At first, she seemed suspicious of you, but then she smiled, calming herself as she greeted you more properly. “Actually, I apologize, what I meant to say is good afternoon, Anon. What can I do for you?”

Oh yeah, real smooth there, Twilight. Oh well, it’s do or die time. “I actually came to talk to you about Chrysalis, Twilight. I uh, I made contact with her. And we had a talk about reforming and stuff. And well, the news I got is… Well…”

“It’s the ‘there’s good news and there’s bad news’ type of news, ain’t it? Oh boy, Twilight, Uh…” Spike looked over to her, already ready to try to keep her calm and even get your back on this. While also at the ready to defend Twilight should you take things too far yourself. “Let’s keep it together, ok? This could be more good than bad, y’know?”

Twilight nodded, remaining patient and calm as she replied to Spike. “I know, Spike. And I still have a promise to keep. But not only that, but I’ve come to learn that overreacting to things like this doesn’t help the situation at all. Anon has been hassled too much over this already, and I’m ready for the good and the bad news. So go ahead, Anon, tell me.”

Ohhhh, what is this then? Her being calm about Chrysalis? Well, crikey, you had to just silently look at her for a moment or two just to make sure. Yep, she seemed pretty ready for this. Ok then. “Well, let’s go with the good news first. And trust me, it’s really good! Chrysalis has agreed to try to reform and to let us help her.”

Twilight suddenly became giddy, enough to teleport in front of you and grab you in a hug, acting celebratory over it all. “Anon! That is amazing news! I knew you could do it! Do you know what this means?!”

Geez! It wasn’t that her grip was tight, no, it was just right with cuddles and niceness. But goddamn, what got her so excited? And what the fuck did she mean she knew?! “W-wait, when did you even think I could do this?”

“Last night, she practically beat herself over the head with a book trying to believe you could do it. I already knew you could, but uh, I know it can’t be that easy. So, what’s the bad news, Anon?” Spike seemed pleased, yet skeptical of your words.

“Spike!” Twilight called out, annoyed as she put you down. Then she looked to you with a sheepish smile. “O-ok, that is true. I may have had a moment last night thinking about it. But for you to manage this so quickly, I hardly think the bad news will be anything even remotely frightening. And I can promise you right now, Anon, we will all do our very best to help reform Chrysalis and make her feel as comfortable as possible.”

Well, that’s good to hear, because what you’re about to tell her may make or break the entire situation. “That’s good to hear, Twilight. Because, well, how to put this.”

Spike was already at the ready, whispering to himself “Here it comes…”

“Well, Uhhhh… It’s on the condition we can stop her latest evil and diabolical plot. Yeah, she sort of wants to pull off one more scheme before she’s ok with reformation. But hey, with the optimism you have, that shouldn’t be too tough to deal with, right?”

“Oh no… That’s not bad news, that’s the worst news.” Spike said to himself as he looked to Twilight. She was frozen with her optimistic smile, her pupils shrank, her mane started to become out of place. “Anon, you may wanna-” But Spike could not finish his words as Twilight suddenly exploded in a spastic manner.

“WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHY WOULD YOU AGREE TO THAT?! WHY WOULD SHE EVEN DO THAT IF SHE WANTED TO BE REFORMED!? ANON, WHAT DID YOU JUST CAUSE?!” Twilight yelled out, jumping and being loud enough to roll you backwards.

“Twilight! Twilight! Yo, calm down! Maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds!” Spike said, running up in front of her and waving his arms to signal that it’d be ok.

“Not as bad as it sounds?! It sounds like she wants to try to take over Equestria and that Anon just said ‘Sure, go ahead!', that’s how it sounds!” Twilight said to her assistant, frazzled over the whole thing.

“Actually.” Oh god, here we go. Anon, remember what you told yourself, remember what was said to you. Don’t take Twilight’s shit, and make sure she understands the situation. You can do this! “She said if we can stop her, not to just let her do what she wants. Twilight, why are you even spazzing out? It’s not that big a deal, and I’m this close to reforming her! This is the last step. Heck, I’ll even compromise and say that if she lies about this, then... I dunno, I’ll do something about it, I promise!”

“Anon, even if she said that, we are still allowing her to try another big evil plan! What don’t you get about that?! Why would she even agree to be reformed if not to make some sort of deal where we just sit on our hooves and let her do what she wants!? And don’t tell me we can just stop her. Because even if that’s true, we would be knowingly putting all of Equestria at risk, or at least whatever place she decides to attack. Anon, how could you be so selfish?! I was with you up until the safety of everycreature became a concern! Do you really think risking the lives of everycreature is ok? You couldn’t talk her out of this? Or, I don’t know, stand up to her about it?! She’s using you again, Anon, can’t you see that?!” Twilight was verily concerned, and you could see why. You really didn’t consider the safety of others, and that was because…

“Twilight, it really isn’t that big a deal! You’re acting like she’s still capable of doing what she did at Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s wedding! She can’t, period, she’s alone and in pain because of it! She talks to creatures that aren’t even there, Twilight, and that’s what worries me. She won’t last much longer being as alone as she is. She thinks that whatever she plans to pull off will make her feel whole again, I know it. But I also know she’s wrong, and she won’t be able to pull it off. She has no army, Twilight. Meanwhile, we got me, Dad, you and your team, Starswirl and his team, the princesses, royal guards up the wazoo, and even her own hive. She’s outnumbered, out magic’d, and outplayed, Twilight. She was doomed to fail before things even begun. So again, what are you spazzing about?!” Dammit, you weren't just going to take this. You knew you were right!

“Anon…” Twilight was suddenly doing her best to calm down. She could see it on your face, your determination and self righteousness. She could see just how deeply you really wanted this to work. But she sat down, took a breath, and shook her head. “Anon, no matter the chances, it’s never worth putting others at risk like that. I know you know that, just like I know how deeply you want to help Chrysalis.”

D-dammit! No, she can’t just shrug you off like that! “So what?! That’s it then?! What even makes you think it’d even get that far, Twilight?! This isn’t how it normally works! We can let the princesses and Starswirl know! We could set up spells and alarms and everything to tell us when she’s gonna try something! It’s not like we’re just going to get blindsided here! She gave us the advantage! Can’t you see?! Think! Maybe she just wants to set herself up to lose so we all hate her! You’re giving into it right now, when we could easily stop her with our ridiculous magic! Tell me that I’m wrong now, Twilight! Go ahead, do it!”

“W-woah, Anon, bro, calm down. I know you want to help her, but I think Twilight might be right on this one.” Spike said as he carefully approached you, hoping to calm your nerves.

“She isn’t! She doesn’t even talk to Chrysalis like I do! It’s the same thing with Starlight! She’s just making a stupid decision that nearly ruined everything because she doesn’t know ANYTHING beyond her own suspicions!” You pointed out as you began to feel emotionally flustered. Dammit! You have come to far for this kind of bullshit!

“Anon! Hey, that’s uncalled for! Twilight and I and everypony else wants to help you, but Twilight is right, we just can’t make a big risk like that! C’mon, man, be reasonable here!” Spike said, trying to get you to calm down and see you were being ridiculous.

But Twilight? She could really see it. The fact she spazzed about it made her feel rather guilty, as she did come to this conclusion without thinking about how you or even Chrysalis felt. Enough for her to consider an alternative plan to try to satisfy everyone involved. “Spike. Anon, I think, has every right to feel the way he does. Even with the reformation of the changeling hive, the situation with Chrysalis has definitely been mishandled. But Anon, please, we have to be more reasonable than this. We have to figure something out.”

Reasonable? Mnnngh, at least she realized the situation was mishandled, there is that at least. But you couldn’t let this moment slip by. You also couldn’t let Twilight take full control of the situation. “I agree, it has been mishandled. This is still my show though, and unless you have a better way to reform her, I’d like to hear it. Because I still can’t see why we can’t just set up some defenses. It’s not like it’d be hard, Twilight, she’s only one bughorse.”

“Anon, like I said, we can’t risk the safety of anypony. Even if the chances are astronomically high that we can stop her, there is still a chance somepony could get hurt along the way. It may be easy for you to make such a decision. But as the princess of friendship, I have to consider the safety of everycreature in every decision I make. Every single one of them are as important as you and I, and I just wish you could understand that.”

“Y’know, not to interrupt or anything, but if it’s really that important, why don’t you both just go see Chrysalis together? Just let her know you’re there to talk and negotiate and stuff and maybe you could find a solution to all this. I’d like to think the reason Chrysalis might be moody and want to take over is because of what happened with Princess Celestia. But if you both go, and she sees a princess is willing to talk and forgive her, it might be enough to open her heart a little and forget her grudge.”

“What?” You both look to Spike, confused about his suggestion.

Spike became a little sheepish, but stood firm on his suggestion. “Yeah, just… Y’know, talk to her? If I was a Princess of Friendship, it’d be what I’d do. And if what Anon is saying is true, it’s not like you’d be in any danger, especially if Anon is at your side.”

While Twilight seemed hesitant on the idea, the gears in your head were turning. Chrysalis had just seen both you and Diamond off, so she had to be more willing to accept other visitors if you were around, even if it is Twilight. You have the power to make sure Chrysalis nor Twilight kill each other. And if Twilight can be wrangled in, maybe Chrysalis will soften up. Yeah, she wouldn’t truly do anything to hurt you, and if Twilight and her could see eye to eye… “I’m ok with it, let’s do that! Let’s do that right now!” Yes, you had to, before Chrysalis delved back deeper into those delusions she’s been having.

“What?! But I didn’t even consider it yet! Shouldn’t we figure out the pros and cons to it first?!” Twilight said in surprise. But fuck it, it can work!

“Twilight, we can’t just sit around and wait for the pros and cons. Chrysalis, at this very moment, can be talked to. I should know, I talked to her today. I get that she may react super harsh because it’s… Well… you. But I can subdue her, and then we can talk things out. C’mon, nopony would be in danger! It’d just be us two. Isn’t that what you want? To make sure everypony is safe while we reform Chrysalis?” C’mon, Twilight, agree to this. C’MON!

Twilight looked to you, and then to Spike. Both of you seemed to think it really was a good idea. Twilight also had to consider that you knew Chrysalis better than anyone, so if what you said is true, would it really be best to go see her at this very moment? The plan didn’t seem solid, but considering it’s Chrysalis, it’d never would have been. “Let’s just consider a few things first before I make my decision. Are you sure seeing her right now would be effective? If it’s just us, then I’m not worried about safety, I think I could take her if she tried anything. But the important thing is helping her towards the path of friendship. So again, I ask you, would it be?”

You nod. Fuck yes, some actual progress! “I do. Trust me, it'll work. Chrysalis, I promise you, has had her more tender moments. She’s capable of caring, we just need to go and show her we can care about her. That ANYPONY can. Do you know what I mean, Twilight?”

“He’s making sense to me, Twilight.” Spike said with a shrug.

“I think he is too. As the Princess of Friendship, it is my duty to help everycreature in need, and that includes Chrysalis too. If you really feel this is our chance to help her, then of course I’ll agree to it. I assume you know how to get to wherever she is, right?” Twilight asks as she takes a breath, preparing herself for anything that might happen.

You nod as you slap on your horn. “I am. But, look, Chrysalis might be disagreeable if she thinks you know how to find her. So do you mind if we just teleport straight there, without revealing her exact location?”

“I’d rather know it. But if you feel it’d help the situation, then ok. Spike, I need you to stay here and let the girls know where I went in case they come looking for me in my office. Hopefully, we shouldn’t be too long.” Twilight says, still taking long breaths as she preps her mind. She had to be ready, as Chrysalis was a foe that could pull off a trick or a trap at anytime.

“Aye Aye, Twilight.” Spike said with a salute.

“Alright then, you ready to go, Twilight?” You ask her.

“I’m ready. Besides, I had just made another promise to help reform her. So it’s not like I can just run away now, right?” Twilight said as she gave you a warming smile, hiding away her true nervousness over the entire situation.

You nod, good. Wasting no time, you teleport you and Twilight to Chrysalis’s location.

Hidden above, making himself a fixture on the ceiling, was Discord. Silently staring, eating his popcorn.

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