In a freak accident from the Cloudsdale weather control team, Twilight is struck down by an errant lightning bolt. But the veil of death is relatively thin...

Fluttershy has a heart attack, she's too shy to tell anyone.
Uh oh.

Princess Celestia went out for a stroll to a coffee shop. The next morning, she is single-hoofedly destroying the coffee industry.

How?

No really, how?

Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

'Dark Souls' crossover. You do NOT need to play the game to enjoy the story.

Scales hold a lot of meaning to dragons: protection, life, social status, breeding, normality; all are qualities that any living being with a conscience thrives upon.

Seath the Scaleless is deemed an abomination by his entire race. Out of jealousy and hate, he betrays them in a war that wipes them out. And after centuries of trying to replicate scales through means of crystal, he is finally slain. But this wasn't the end for Seath the Scaleless, for in a land where time is convoluted, with heroes centuries old phasing in and out, he is given the chance to begin again.

He's reincarnated, near-death and mortally wounded, in the backyard of a timid little equestrian named Fluttershy. Seeing as he has nowhere else to go, she takes the abomination under her wing. As time passes, she quickly warms up to the dragon and embraces him with the alien concept of "kindness." But after centuries of the world and himself seeing only a monster, will it be enough?

Reviewed and Proofread by Skeeter the Lurker, Crack Javelin, and my good friend, James1081

Adam is a good friend of Princess Cadance, and has been for the past year.

But when the Crystal Princess finds her request for snuggles denied, her mind breaks and she quickly kidnaps him for nefarious reasons.

He never stood a chance.

Uploaded at 10.20 AM. Written in about twenty minutes for April Fools, Enjoy!

Can Twilight Sparkle stop the new menace that's suddenly taking control of her beloved home?

Spoilers: No

Cuddles meet crusades, and hilarity ensues.

'Caught' has been edited slightly. Re-read and try to spot what's changed XD

The crime rate in Canterlot was hitting an all time high, which was perfect for a young thief like Chase.

Unfortunately his fellow thieves started getting caught. And everypony knows what happens when you get caught.

You're taken to Celestia and interrogated in ways so horrible, so demeaning that the one caught is never the same again.

Chase knows this and refuses to let it happen to him.

For even if he is caught, he knows in his heart that he will never give up his life of crime. And nopony, not even Celestia herself can change that...

Right?

This story is just a bit of fun that popped up in my mind. Mostly because I wanna write Celestia in a good way for once XD

No possessiveness, no darkness, just a gentle, motherly Celestia.

I'm not sure about the tags, so if I'm missing something then tell me XD

As I desperately tried to ignore this commercial jingle that plays ceaselessly over my job's speakers, my friend and coworker made the mistake of telling me what he named his Guild Wars 2 character. When I finally stopped laughing, I began to tease him. As I am a cruel man and an even worse friend, my vehement remonstrations over his character's name escalated until I wrote an entire story about it.

And then I posted said story to his Facebook wall. This is that story.

Kind readers, join hands with me as we follow the exploits of Dark King Oblivion on his not-so-epic quest as a cashier at Sugarcube Corner. Through great heartache, hardship, and a dizzying array of neurons that fail to spark, watch as he discovers the sparkly, saccharine magic of friendship—accompanied by a perky blue smurf, Gumdrops McHappysparkles—while he gallivants about happily in Tortilla Land. Which is functionally identical to Equestria, save for the smurfs in tortilla hats, and the inhabitants' tendency to break out in commercial jingles.

Crossover between Guild Wars 2/Smurfs/My Little Pony/my job slowly consuming what little is left of my sanity/what is this, I don't even-

With a very special cameo by another coworker of mine, who knew I was writing it and asked me to "take him to Tortilla Land".

To anyone who actually reads this: I'm sorry.

Now with a hilarious dramatic reading by the immensely talented PresentPerfect!