Uninteresting Autobiographical Stuff

Episkopos Lord Batwing Candlewaxxe K.S.C., gothest of gothponies from the land of rain and hipsters, and Marsupialis Maximus of the Cult of the Rabid Wombat cabal fnord.

I write stuff. Some of it is about ponies, which I put here. Some of it is not, which I don't put here. Some of the pony stuff is racy. Some of it is insane. Some of it is highly confusing. You have been warned.

I do not write for popularity, and "hitting the feature box" is about the least interesting thing I can possible imagine for my time writing here. In fact, I can think of few things less interesting than rank popularity. If anything of mine ever does become that popular, I'm probably doing something wrong. I would much rather be thought-provoking than popular, which means that I'm naturally excluding a lot of readers. Which, considering the sort of dreck that tends to become popular, is perfectly fine with me. Better the criticism of the wise than the approbation of fools.

I also review stuff, mainly for Rage Reviews, Blunt Reviews, and Story Standards. Which means my reviews can get pretty in-depth, and pull no punches. I'm a stickler for technical skill and Pony content. I will do Rage Review requests; but if you want me to Rage your story, then make sure your technical skills and pony content are up to snuff, and may Luna have mercy on your soul.

EArtis' Model
MLP: FiM
Romance
On a trip to watch the Great Flutterspider Migration, Fluttershy encounters a pony out of distant legend. An reclusive ancient alicorn stallion known to few living ponies. Meeting her awakens feelings he had thought long since lost.
Fluttershy
OC
BatwingCandlewaxxe · 7.2k words · 9 4 · 230 views
EVictory For the New Lunar Republic
MLP: FiM
Slice of Life
After diplomatic negotiations between the two sisters break down, brutal warfare becomes the only method left to resolve their dispute.
Celestia
Luna
BatwingCandlewaxxe · 1.1k words · 31 1 · 455 views
TA Muffin For Muffins
MLP: FiM
Drama
Tragedy
For Ditzy Doo. a developmentally disabled pony, an intelligence enhancement spell proves to be both a greater blessing, and a greater curse, than anypony could have expected.
Death
Derpy
BatwingCandlewaxxe · 29k words · 46 2 · 438 views
TLazy Crazy Dayz
MLP: FiM
Anthology
A random collections of various unrelated spoofs, vignettes, character studies, gags, fragments, and other bits that do not fit anywhere else.
Celestia
Luna
OC
Main 6
CMCs
BatwingCandlewaxxe · 2k words · 97 views

Random Thoughts

“You know those days when things keep getting worse faster than you can lower your standards?" - Carrie Fisher

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

Every Mare and Every Stallion is a Star

Jan

14th

2018

Story Milestone - Lightbearers Call for Editors · 4:59am January 14th

Well, after a lot of work and grief and general self-loathing, I've finally managed to bash this story into something readable. Barely readable. But at least I finally have a workable first draft. To make it actually worth reading, however, I'm going to need some help.

Anyone out there who has way too much free time and a highly critical eye is abjectly begged to cast that eye on my poor literary ramblings and help me attempt to make something entertaining out of it.

Report BatwingCandlewaxxe · 48 views · #lightbearers #milestone #first draft #writing #goal achieved #absolute insanity

Details

Important Details
Best Mane 6 Pony: Twilight Sparkle (pre-alicornification)
Best Princess: Luna
Best CMC: Sweetie Belle
Best Other Pony: Starlight Glimmer
Best Background Pony: Lyra Heartstrings
Best Recurring Pony: Ditzy "Derpy" Doo
Best Non-Pony: Spike
Best Dragon: Princess Ember
Best Griffon: Gabriella
Best Human: Sunset Shimmer
Best Villain: Discord
Best Reformed Villain: The Great And Powerful Trixie
Best OC: Flufflepuff
Best Tribe: Unicorns
Best Sub-Tribe: Batponies
Best OC Tribe: Fluffyponies

Really Important Details
Best Mane 6 Ship: FlutterDash
Best Background Pony Ship: LyraBon
Best Music Pony Ship: TaviScratch
Best Party Pony Ship: CheesePie
Best Non-Pone Ship: GildaDash
Best EQG Ship: Sunset Twiangle
Best OC Ship: CryssiPuff
Best Crack Ship: PinkieCord
Best Cargo Ship: DerpyMuffin

My current avatar is a My Little Wombat named Turnip; created by the amazingly talented writer and artist Ursula Vernon. If you haven't read anything of hers, I strongly recommend starting with her webcomic Digger.