• Member Since 27th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


We were somewhere around Ponyville, on the edge of the Everfree, when the Poison Joke began to take hold.

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Uninteresting Autobiographical Stuff

Episkopos Lord Batwing Candlewaxxe K.S.C., gothest of gothponies from the land of rain and hipsters, and Marsupialis Maximus of the Cult of the Rabid Wombat cabal fnord.

I write stuff. Some of it is about ponies, which I put here. Some of it is not, which I don't put here. Some of the pony stuff is racy. Some of it is insane. Some of it is highly confusing. You have been warned.

I do not write for popularity, and "hitting the feature box" is about the least interesting thing I can possible imagine for my time writing here. In fact, I can think of few things less interesting than rank popularity. If anything of mine ever does become that popular, I'm probably doing something wrong. I would much rather be thought-provoking than popular, which means that I'm naturally excluding a lot of readers. Which, considering the sort of dreck that tends to become popular, is perfectly fine with me. Better the criticism of the wise than the approbation of fools.

I also review stuff, mainly for Rage Reviews, Blunt Reviews, and Story Standards. Which means my reviews can get pretty in-depth, and pull no punches. I'm a stickler for technical skill and Pony content. I will do Rage Review requests; but if you want me to Rage your story, then make sure your technical skills and pony content are up to snuff, and may Luna have mercy on your soul.

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Random Thoughts

“You know those days when things keep getting worse faster than you can lower your standards?" - Carrie Fisher

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

Every Mare and Every Stallion is a Star


Story Milestone - Lightbearers Call for Editors · 4:59am January 14th

Well, after a lot of work and grief and general self-loathing, I've finally managed to bash this story into something readable. Barely readable. But at least I finally have a workable first draft. To make it actually worth reading, however, I'm going to need some help.

Anyone out there who has way too much free time and a highly critical eye is abjectly begged to cast that eye on my poor literary ramblings and help me attempt to make something entertaining out of it.

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Important Details
Best Mane 6 Pony: Twilight Sparkle (pre-alicornification)
Best Princess: Luna
Best CMC: Sweetie Belle
Best Other Pony: Starlight Glimmer
Best Background Pony: Lyra Heartstrings
Best Recurring Pony: Ditzy "Derpy" Doo
Best Non-Pony: Spike
Best Dragon: Princess Ember
Best Griffon: Gabriella
Best Human: Sunset Shimmer
Best Villain: Discord
Best Reformed Villain: The Great And Powerful Trixie
Best OC: Flufflepuff
Best Tribe: Unicorns
Best Sub-Tribe: Batponies
Best OC Tribe: Fluffyponies

Really Important Details
Best Mane 6 Ship: FlutterDash
Best Background Pony Ship: LyraBon
Best Music Pony Ship: TaviScratch
Best Party Pony Ship: CheesePie
Best Non-Pone Ship: GildaDash
Best EQG Ship: Sunset Twiangle
Best OC Ship: CryssiPuff
Best Crack Ship: PinkieCord
Best Cargo Ship: DerpyMuffin

My current avatar is a My Little Wombat named Turnip; created by the amazingly talented writer and artist Ursula Vernon. If you haven't read anything of hers, I strongly recommend starting with her webcomic Digger.

Comments ( 6 )
  • Viewing 2 - 6 of 6

how are you doing?

Comment posted by Herrick The Monster deleted Feb 4th, 2017

Always good to see someone appreciating my work. Thanks. :twilightsmile:

How yummy are turnips? Is it sad that I thought that was a radish?

Comment posted by Azure129 deleted Sep 10th, 2016
  • Viewing 2 - 6 of 6
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