• Member Since 27th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


We were somewhere around Ponyville, on the edge of the Everfree, when the Poison Joke began to take hold.

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Uninteresting Autobiographical Stuff

Episkopos Lord Batwing Candlewaxxe K.S.C., gothest of gothponies from the land of rain and hipsters, and Marsupialis Maximus of the Cult of the Rabid Wombat cabal fnord.

I write stuff. Some of it is about ponies, which I put here. Some of it is not, which I don't put here. Some of the pony stuff is racy. Some of it is insane. Some of it is highly confusing. You have been warned.

I do not write for popularity, and "hitting the feature box" is about the least interesting thing I can possible imagine for my time writing here. In fact, I can think of few things less interesting than rank popularity. If anything of mine ever does become that popular, I'm probably doing something wrong. I would much rather be thought-provoking than popular, which means that I'm naturally excluding a lot of readers. Which, considering the sort of dreck that tends to become popular, is perfectly fine with me. Better the criticism of the wise than the approbation of fools.

I also review stuff, mainly for Rage Reviews, Blunt Reviews, and Story Standards. Which means my reviews can get pretty in-depth, and pull no punches. I'm a stickler for technical skill and Pony content. I will do Rage Review requests; but if you want me to Rage your story, then make sure your technical skills and pony content are up to snuff, and may Luna have mercy on your soul.

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Random Thoughts

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." - Oscar Wilde

“Indeed, I simply can’t imagine competence as anything save admirable, for it is very rare in this world, and especially in this great Republic, and those who have it in some measure, in any art or craft from adultery to zoology, are the only human beings I can think of who will be worth the oil it will take to fry them in Hell.” - H. L. Mencken, Heathen Days

Art is a sickness, it's a disease that compels one to eviscerate one's self and display one's insides to an uncaring and hostile world. It is not a pastime or calling, but an addiction, one that must be periodically fed to prevent further degeneration of the mind and soul. We do not create because we wish to, but because we have to. We are given no choice in the matter; fate has decreed, and we obey.

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

Every Mare and Every Stallion is a Star


Story Milestone - Lightbearers Call for Editors · 4:59am January 14th

Well, after a lot of work and grief and general self-loathing, I've finally managed to bash this story into something readable. Barely readable. But at least I finally have a workable first draft. To make it actually worth reading, however, I'm going to need some help.

Anyone out there who has way too much free time and a highly critical eye is abjectly begged to cast that eye on my poor literary ramblings and help me attempt to make something entertaining out of it.

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Important Details
Best Mane 6 Pony: Twilight Sparkle (pre-alicornification)
Best Princess: Luna
Best CMC: Sweetie Belle
Best Other Pony: Starlight Glimmer
Best Background Pony: Lyra Heartstrings
Best Recurring Pony: Ditzy "Derpy" Doo
Best Non-Pony: Spike
Best Dragon: Princess Ember
Best Griffon: Gabriella
Best Human: Sunset Shimmer
Best Villain: Discord
Best Reformed Villain: The Great And Powerful Trixie
Best OC: Flufflepuff
Best Tribe: Unicorns
Best Sub-Tribe: Batponies
Best OC Tribe: Fluffyponies

Really Important Details
Best Mane 6 Ship: FlutterDash
Best Background Pony Ship: LyraBon
Best Music Pony Ship: TaviScratch
Best Party Pony Ship: CheesePie
Best Non-Pone Ship: GildaDash
Best EQG Ship: Sunset Twiangle
Best OC Ship: CryssiPuff
Best Crack Ship: PinkieCord
Best Cargo Ship: DerpyMuffin

My current avatar is a My Little Wombat named Turnip; created by the amazingly talented writer and artist Ursula Vernon. If you haven't read anything of hers, I strongly recommend starting with her webcomic Digger.

Comments ( 6 )
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how are you doing?

Comment posted by Herrick The Monster deleted Feb 4th, 2017

Always good to see someone appreciating my work. Thanks. :twilightsmile:

How yummy are turnips? Is it sad that I thought that was a radish?

Comment posted by Azure129 deleted Sep 10th, 2016
  • Viewing 2 - 6 of 6
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