• Member Since 13th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 15 minutes ago

Super Trampoline


I only use prereaders if I'm writing something of decent length and quality, which is why I never use prereaders. :rainbowlaugh:

Sequels1

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Full title: T̶h̶e̶ ̶L̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶L̶o̶s̶t̶ 7̶t̶h̶ ̶E̶l̶e̶m̶e̶n̶t S̶u̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶T̶r̶a̶m̶p̶o̶l̶i̶n̶e̶:̶ ̶P̶r̶o̶f̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶W̶a̶i̶f̶u̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶a̶l̶e̶r̶ T̶h̶e̶ ̶B̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶S̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶F̶i̶m̶f̶i̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n. F̶e̶a̶t̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶B̶o̶x̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ Please ⇩vote!

My OC, Super Trampoline, is dating all of the Elements of Harmony plus the Princess plus the major antagonists plus the minor antagonists too! That's a lot of work! Also, he's obviously the seventh element. Read on for his many amazing adventures in Equestria! This will be tagged slice of life though because it's mostly slice of life except when it's not.

I WANT TO MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR FOR ALL THE HATERS: MY OC IS NOT A "MARY SUE" BECAUSE HE IS NOT AN ALICORN!

Also, he's dating Applejack.


Cover art by me.


NOTE: The mods decided they had had enough of the chicanery, and unpublished this. I'm reuploading it a few chapters at a time, with all the meta and simply too-crackficky stuff cordoned off in little boxes.

Hey, at least it's not another Soldier in Equestria story.

Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote Please Downvote

Chapters (43)
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Comments ( 525 )
Comment posted by Super Trampoline deleted Jun 16th, 2015

Actually downvoting because this feels earnestly narcissistic.

Cock of golds
Balls of beauty
Anus of awesomness

But this story is good. More please :)

I can't tell the parodies from the trollfics, anymore.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

No, you cannot write about the chainsaw slide.

Just because he isn't an alicorn, does NOT mean that he is isn't a Mary Sue. A Mary Sue character is a character that is perfect in every way

"Super Trampoline, my amazing coltfriend and all around upright and outstanding stallion, I need your help!"

I have nothing to say about this. Applejack is the pony who doesn't like asking for help

You're smart Super. That's why I love you.

Now it's just narcissistic.

One of my other talents is being generous.

Jeez, you have like a bigilion talnets.
*cough* Mary Sue! *cough*

she also has many other coltfriends. I am lucky to be one of them

If Cadence WASN'T faithful to Shining Armor, I am sure that he would notice, and care. The free love principle is fair, but not if you swore to be bound to another.

I didn't take the time to point out everything, but you get the point. Completely a Mary Sue. No flaws. The most desirable stallion in Equestria. You serriously can't deny it. I won't follow up with this story, and I highly recommend that nobody else does as well. So, in a way, it's kind of what you wanted

We can have an ambulance at your house in five minutes.

6024446

Oo, oo, I've got some! Try me! Try me!

Don't call people assholes.

I wonder if people are downvoting the story because they can't tell it's a super satire fic, or if they're doing so because of your title.

Just looking at I know it's not trying to be serious. This is going to be a fun read.

~Squiggle-Squiggle~

6025210
You can't hog the chainsaw slide, Majin! The chainsaw slide should be for everyone!

I don't care if the one on the right is a changeling who will devour my soul. I choose her.

Why does this have upvotes? Not even I upvoted it.

6025271 obsolescence deleted the comment I was responding to.

6025304 I liked the comic more than the story, so...thumbs up?

I knew it was a trollfic, I was expecting a trollfic, and yet I was still disappointed.

9/11, bravo, would read again.

6025280

The proper response to anything that looks like reverse psychology is to downvote anyway. Covers all bases.

h̏ỉlar͚̦͊ĭ̪ͅo͙us an̷d orig͇͛̀i̧ńal̀

I'm not a mary sue.

Hahahahaha!
Best line of the fic. I like this. This is genuinely pretty funny. Sequel Please, but with a better title.

Congrats, you've simultaneously made it on my "Do not read" list and my "Liked Stories" list.

6025244 if I'm a Merry Sue, how come I broke my leg in chapter 4? A real Mary Sue wouldn't have gotten injured battling that hydra?

Rotary valves seem like they would be a lot easier to play with hooves than piston valves...

I'm gonna downvote this... But only cause you asked. Personally, I think this is genius, especially if you're doing what I think you are.

I-I mean... Boo! Mary Sue! Bad OC! This title sucks! Waaaaah! *various aggressive monster mash noises*

6025394
A non Mary Sue most likely wouldn't get the chance. And I don't see a chapter 4

6025280
Satire? Satire?!

Spaceballs is satire, Airplane is satire, Naked Gun is satire. This is just writing the same shit that's in all those bad stories, but for some reason doing it in a 'comedic' tone makes it all right!

Well, guess what? This isn't funny, this isn't interesting. It's being a lazy fuck who doesn't have the brain matter to make an actual point, and wouldn't know comedy if they were hit in the face with a pie thrown by the ghost of the Three Stooges!

why do people still make these anyway

you're like the one guy at work that tells a joke to his friends and gets a chuckle out of them, then tells the SAME FUCKING JOKE THE NEXT DAY

this isn't satirically funny. Not even ironically funny. It's bad

Brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen-- I'm going in.

If I do not live to see tomorrow, give my regards to Sunnypack.

6025513
I didn't want to read this story at first. It seemed like a good trollfic, but not good enough.
6025244
But reading through the comments...
6025274
6025323
Let's do this anyway.

Hey, at least it's not another Soldier in Equestria story.

:rainbowlaugh::fluttershbad:

Thus far, we have the ol'-fashioned weather report intro, then we see that OP's OC, a batpony by the name of Super Trampoline, is dating at least four ponies (Applejack, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, and Trixie-- the first seems to have sexual undertones). Super and Applejack are discussing what to do with an apple surplus. Super suggests sending it off to Saddle Arabia, and Applejack readily, blindly agrees.

"Well, Twilight Sparkle could probably work up a refrigeration spell."

If that's so, WHY DON'T YOU JUST STOCKPILE IT!? Ponyville could use them in a famine, y'know!

Then the chapter ends with a gif:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/3/29/588254__safe_solo_applejack_animated_screencap_smile_upvotes+galore_cute_open+mouth_eyes+closed.gif

This is how I end this comment:
65wat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/65-wat.jpg

If you downvoted this. You obviously are mad.

Alrighty, on to chapter two!

This is amazingly short-- 274 words. --It'll be a breeze.

we don't do anythings that would necessitate this collection having a "Teen" tag.

The meta is strong with this one.

Cadance, or sometimes Cadence, spelled with an "e",

It's Cadance. Trust me.

which makes me suspect we were designed by something other than evolution, like perhaps a marketing department (I'm very smart, so I know this concept is called Fisher's principle.)

OH GOOD NIGHT IRENE! --It's a fourth wall break!

princess duties can be tedious

Wait, is Super Trampoline male or female? Because if s/he's male, then he can't be a princess!

Aaaaand this chapter ends with a comic. Blatant filler at its finest. I'm surprised this passed moderation.

I object!

Trampolines are in no way 'super'.

THE END!

Chapter Three! Good gravy, was that fast!

In case you haven't noticed during my two years here on this site, my cutie mark is a Prench horn.

I'm sure we noticed. Here's the thing: WE DIDN'T CARE. It could have been a bloodied dagger for all we cared!

Here in the pony (and other creatures) world, it's called a Prench horn, as if from Prance, except it's really Germane in design.

Horse puns of course. Apparently one can't write a story on Fimfiction without 'em.

It's a very difficult instrument to play, especially with hooves, which describes most instruments to be honest.

Then why did ponies design instruments that way? Are they anticipating human contact, and want to be ready at a second's notice?

See, these chapters won't all be about my fillyfriends.

And this ends the story. You're quite right here, OP.

HOWEVER,

you can't write a story without a central conflict. Sure, I saw a bit of a conflict in Chapter One (Applejack and the surplus apples), but that was hardly anything. Plus, all chapters were under 1000 words, so that's a major turn-off for many readers, including myself. If you're going to continue this, ADD A CONFLICT. BUILD THE STORY AROUND IT. THEN RESOLVE IT. Great stories aren't made when everything's going good; great stories are made when something goes wrong, and the protagonist tries to fix the problem.

BOTTOM LINE: Read a book. Please, for the sanity of all on Fimfiction, read a book.

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