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by Super Trampoline

Applejack and the Absurdity of Equestrian Foreign Policy

Hey, Applejack, I asked one day, not including quotation marks because bad boys break the rules (of grammar), and I'm certainly a very bad boy, you remember that time waaaaayyyyy back in the very first chapter which has to have been written like 8 years ago at this point when you had waaaaayyyyyy (that wasn't copy pasted I just retyped waaaaayyyyyy) too many apples, so you (thanks to my ingenuity of course lol) shipped a bunch of them off to Saddle Arabia cause they were having a famine or something?

Applejack paused from the thing she does in every single story that features her having a random conversation with somecreature else and the author adds even the barest bit of description to set the scene for and punctuate what would otherwise be exclusively talking heads dialogue, bucking apples, and trotted over to give me a kiss. I was also bucking apples, and having studied and trained under my girlfriend (Applejack)'s tutelage, was almost just as good at it as Applejack despite being an out-of-shape batpony, to the extent that one might even consider it to be one of my many special talents, and AJ wiped her brow of sweat sensually, said "Woo!", and trotted over to me to give me a smooch on the cheek before finally answering, "E'yup!"

I glowed, basking in the phosphorescent light of my incredible marefriend, with my own glow being an example of bioluminescence. I love Applejack so much. Also, she was using actual quotation marks whenever she spoke because unlike me, she's a very good girl. She doesn't speak in this paragraph though. I do, however: "Coolbeans. So, like, you know how Yemane is also struggling from a severe famine and misery and suffering and sickness and injury and sadness and despair and anger and helplessness and hopelessness and whathaveyou? What if you sent some of the apples you're harvesting now there this time? I'm sure they could use the delicious fruit and you have a bunch of apples I doubt you're using right this second.

Applejack laughed. "Oh Super, you're so smart and clever and caring and kind etc. and I think that's fantastic, and that these are only a few of the many hundreds of positive qualities you have. However, it pains me to tell you that while Saddle Arabia is directly responsible for this aforementioned suffering, they're our political allies and so we must support them in all forms and endeavors, and this includes turning a blind eye towards and even celebrating their war crimes. Helping Yemaneies not starve to death would be a smack in the face of our very important Saddle Arabian allies! I'm afraid your suggestion is out of the question. "

Having said her piece, she trotted back over to the tree she was bucking and resumed her hard, sweaty physical labor.

Author's Note:

Comments

[SolitariLupus]

Soo is the story really good or really bad....?

[Super Trampoline]

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derpicdn.net/img/2020/9/12/2443756/medium.jpg

[Dopik]

[King of Kings]

Heh. Political commentary. So is Saudi Arabia really doing stuff to Yemen too? I know about the Israel war crimes, with Gaza? At least enough to know that we cannot go more than a few months without trying to kill each other, and COVID 19 should really become an annual thing, so we're stuck inside for fear of being wiped out by the new age Bubonic Plague, or maybe the Bubonic Plague should come back, airborne, waterborne, and insectborne this time. So we stop trying to kill each other EVERY FING FEW MONTHS. Also! War in Equestria would be impossible because of the Windigoes killing everything through freezing them. Which is why Celestia was a dictator for so long, and why I refuse to acknowledge anything past season 3. We gave Equestria to Twilight, and she ended up letting everything go to sht. You had one job, Twilight. One job! That a traumatized, depressed Alcorn could do for a millennium! If you couldn't cut the mustard, you should have had them come back!

[Super Trampoline]

11733120
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudi-led_intervention_in_the_Yemeni_civil_war
The Yemeni civil war has been going on for many years. A lot of humanitarian crisis starvation stuff :(