• Member Since 8th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Thaums


I will rid the world of anime

here's the thing about women. they're all the same. all they want isa nicea hota pizza pie. a real steamin hot brooklyn slice, fresh out the oven, crispy on the bottom with stringy melted mozz on top, hoo boy, the ladies love a little uncle dante el dente , thats extra crispy ladys, blow on it first so you don't burn your mouth ay that's a real old world wood fired oven at 900 degrees, hachi mama, watch out little darling and don't get any of my old world hand crushedtomato secret recipe gravy on your nice doctor who tee shirt there, and if thats a bun in the oven it's a Hungry Mama discount on thursday afternoons, only from me uncle "daddy" dante

Mar
31st
2017

did this in retard class today · 11:57pm March 31st

i must use photobucket because of knighty's incompetence

Report Thaums · 25 views ·

it is a technical possibility that i could derive sexual pleasure from beating myself to death with a spoon

I'm a machine. I depend on the stimulus of a thousand herons pecking at my eyes

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have to us who think and reason? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh.
You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed , drooling meatslapper. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.
This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective.
True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
You're an idiot. A moron of the highest order. You're so stupid it's a wonder and a pity you can remember to breath. Intelligent ideas bounce off your head as if it were coated with teflon. Creative thoughts take alternate transportation in order to avoid even being in the same state as you. If you had an original thought it would die of loneliness before the hour was out. On an intelligence scale of 1 to 10 (10 corresponding to the highest attainable IQ) you're rating is so far into negative numbers that one would need to travel into another quantum reality in order to even catch a distant glimpse of it.
Your personality is that of a rabid Chihuahua intent on destroying its own tail. Your powers of observation are akin to those of the bird that keeps slamming into the picture window trying to get that other bird it keeps seeing. You are walking, talking proof that you don't have to be sentient to survive, and that Barnum was thinking of you when he uttered his immortal phrase regarding the birth of a sucker. You are, at varying times, tedious, boring, and even occasionally earth shatteringly hilarious in your idiocy, routinely childish, moronic, pathetic, wretched, disgusting and pitiful.
You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame.
You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet.
I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, and the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a waste of flesh. On a good day you're a halfwit. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, study, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libellous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded.
Shut up and go away lest you achieve the physical retribution your behaviour merits.
Thank you for your kind attention to and expected cooperation in this matter.




I got a funny joke for ya. You wanna hear my funny joke? You wanna hear my funny joke? It's so great. It's gonna knock your socks off. It's such a funny joke. Do you wanna hear my funny joke? It's so great. It's gonna rock your block off. You wanna hear my funny joke? It's gonna be a great joke, you're gonna laugh. You're gonna uproariously laugh. It's so great that you're gonna wish you had a cock that I could knock off. Do you wanna hear my funny joke? Oh I've got such a great joke for you. Do you wanna hear this joke? It's too good, it's too good of a joke, I cant tell you. I cant tell you this joke. You're not good enough for this joke. You gotta work for this joke. You gotta think for a minute, do you think you're ready for this joke? Do you think you can handle all of this joking that I'm about to do? Do you think that you're prepared - mentally prepared, physically prepared, spiritually prepared? Do you think that you gotta go to a psychic, get all the anti jokes burned out of your body. Do you wanna hear this joke? Are you ready for this joke? Wanna hear a funny joke? Wanna hear a joke that's just gonna be so great that your fucking face is gonna melt off? Do you wanna hear a joke so good that you're gonna absolutely fucking hate yourself for not hearing this joke before? Do you wanna hear this joke that I came up with in 8th grade? I thought of it in 8th grade, was quite the savant, I was a genius, a joke genius. A joke connoisseur. I collected jokes all over the land, and this one joke that I made myself with my own two hands, my own two joke hands, is one of the greatest that I've ever come up with. This joke is so good, it is a finely crafted joke. It's an exquisite joke, it's got laughs, it's got sads. It'll make you think. It'll make you wonder. It's culturally relevant. You're gonna be thinking of this joke for ages. You're gonna be wondering why did I never think of this joke before. Why is Brendaniel, the joke man, just so good at what he does? Why is he so good at jokes? Why can't I be good at jokes? You're gonna have an existential crisis. You're gonna wonder, am I a bad human being? You know I say that a lot. I say that you're gonna wonder if you're a bad human being, but no, you're not gonna wonder that at all because you're a beautiful human being. You're beautiful. You have great skin, great hair, no hair, lots of hair, some hair, eyebrows maybe? Blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes? Amber eyes, and you, you are going to enjoy this joke. This joke is gonna be so good, it is going to be great. You ever hear someone say this: You gotta hear this joke? I've got a funny joke for you. Isn't it annoying when someone does this to you? When they say: I've got a funny joke and it just keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the funny joke they have? They're giggling. They're giggling. They're thinking about the joke now. Oh it's breaking them down, it's building them back up again, they're like a wall that's continuously being knocked down and rebuilt by some incompetent construction worker. They're fucking losers. They're fucking losers. Guess what? I don't have any joke for you? I don't have a joke at all. I lied, I'm a fucking piece of shit. I'm scum. I'm human waste. I should take a knife and slit my fucking wrists. I should go into my kitchen cabinet and drink three gallons of bleach. Just to feed your fucking meme machine, but guess what, I lied again mother fucker. I do have a joke for you. It's sitting in the back of my mind. I've thought of it so long, I've wanted to share it with the world and I'm going to make this joke right now, this Star Wars joke.
What does Qui-Gon Jinn always say to his unruly Padawawn? Obi quiet.

Comments ( 241 )
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Hi......... Can we at least be friends now???? Probably not since you don't get the idea of us not liking each other YEARS ago.... People have changed okay??

Thankies for der follow it is mucho appreciated.:pinkiehappy:

2288821
to bask in the glorious limelight of my userpage is certainly an experience worth more than words, I agree to the fullest extent

.....

I have no comment.

2107616
just making the world a better place

I will rid the world of anime

Instant follow

2092891
faguette

  • Viewing 222 - 241 of 241
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