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A desperate attempt to tweak parameters of the afterlife with weaponized semantics and applied friendship principles

At the end of the world, a programmer struggles with his need to be something other than Pony. Can he spar with an intelligence that goes beyond the sum total of Humankind, for the sake of fulfilling a weird quirk of self-identity?

Some rules within a machine are more like guidelines. And others are based on the definitions of words. Can semantics be a weapon big enough to give a Human mind a chance at one small request from a goddess?

Set in the Optimalverse - I recommend reading Iceman's awesome original first if you haven't - More because it is a really excellent story than because it is strictly necessary for context. I have endeavoured to make this story stand well enough without context as well. But that being said? You'll probably enjoy it more if you know the context better.

Cannon-compatible with the Optimalverse to the best of my knowledge and abilities.

Cover-art generated with an image generative A.I., appropriately enough, graciously generated and composited (it takes skill to get something this spot-on!) by Keystone Gray.

Similarly you'll find many AI-generated illustrations throughout, again graciously generated in collaboration with Keystone Gray, then a little final photoshopping and other processing from us both.

Chapters (50)
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Twilight awakens to find that she is no longer an alicorn, nor a pony for that matter. Rather she has become the fearsome Queen of the wasteland.


This started out as an exploratory idea, that patrons requested more chapters of and was viewable earlier for said patrons. Head over here if you want a chance of adding onto this story for just 5$ or to see stories early for just 3$!

Chapters (49)
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There’s no end to the monsters that lurk in the dark.

Ghosts, werewolves, mad scientists, cultists, mutants, zombies, vampires, aliens and more lie in wait in the dark corners of Equestria, terrorizing the night. But the most infamous and dangerous of them all is the legendary witch Twilight Sparkle, with a five hundred million bit bounty on her head.

Seeking fame and fortune, Rainbow Dash sets out to defeat the legendary witch and collect the massive reward. The one thing she wasn't counting on was Twilight being less evil than she expected.


More stories set in this AU can be found here.

Cover art is a work in progress by Abode_WTF

Chapters (64)
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Spartan-B312 A.K.A Noble six. The unsung hero and the only other Soldier designated as 'Hyper-lethal' of the Human-Covenant War. Were it not for her actions on Reach, the events that lead to victory over the Covenant and Flood would never have happened.

But that victory had a cost heavy price with Noble team dead and Six left on Reach as the Pillar of Autumn made for orbit.

Alone against the Covenant she was doomed. But she wasn't going to go down without a fight.

For three whole days, she fought. For three whole nights, she struggled against the full might of the Covenant on Reach. And on the third and final day, she fell.

Exhausted, battered, and beaten she was finally overwhelmed and presumably killed from what the helmet cam footage shows, the only thing remaining of the Spartan after the glassing of Reach was a broken helmet. But even after that, there is one constant that is never broken.

Spartans never die...They just go missing in action.

Now armed with a new equine body and armor to boot in a barren wasteland resembling the one she had just left behind, Six's Journey hasn't ended yet.


Cover art by the wonderful: Panini you can find them here
Holy wow Featured within the first 6 hours
I-I have no words to express how happy this makes me

Halo: Reach Crossover (And yes my Noble Six is female)

Character tags shall be added as the story progresses

Chapters (50)
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A suit of armour wakes up in the woods from a very long nap and has some issues. These involve some less than stable quadrupeds called ponies and one very specific one which we shall refer to as Luna.





Cover art from: https://www.artstation.com/andrewdoma

Featured basically whenever there's an update. Not sure as to why.

Chapters (38)
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This story is a sequel to I Am Not Sombra


My mind is just so infested, to the point where I don't know who I am. The anger I have over the ponies who harmed me and took me away from what I lost still holds in my heart, and it drives me to agony. At least I can claim to be the ruler of a nation...

Cover art by Mayhem Moth. You can find her work here.

Chapters (59)
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This story is a sequel to Distorted Fate


After enduring the task of adapting to being a filly and helping to stop a potential disaster from occurring, one would think that things are finally turning around for me. Sadly... fate will never be that nice to me. Now I have deal with ponies knowing that I was originally an alien, Twilight's desire to learn everything I know, as well as training a team of ponies to handle any interdimensional issues that could come to Equus thanks to Celestia's recklessness. My life just keeps getting worse.

Oh, and everypony said I'm also going to have to go through something else, but I didn't understand the word. Just give me a moment as I look it up. I think it started with a p.

Note: It is recommended to read Distorted Fate first. Also may contain some gore.
Updates Tuesdays and Fridays.

Art: WildSoulWS
Editors: FourponyChapters I-XXXV), Hyari(Chapters I-XIV) PersonalGamer (Chapters XXIX and onward) RockstarRaccoon (Chapters XXXVIII and onward), PinkieThePrankster (Chapters Chapter LVIII and onward)

Chapters (67)
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I was just hoping to get this last job done, always getting sent to this dimension or that, always doing the interests of others. Unfortunately, everyone's luck eventually runs out, and it looks like mine has ran out as well. Now somehow I got stuck in this place, in a foreign body, and things just keeps getting worse for me. What did I do to deserve this?
Note: This is not a HiE story.
Editors: Discord Kantus (Chapters I-XLII), Hyari (Chapters XXXIV and onward), Fourpony
Art: AlicornParty

Chapters (51)
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In the beginning, The Great Weaver brought together the world, from the mountains to the forests. Stitching it together, the Great Tapestry connects all living and nonliving things.

The Changelings found themselves especially connected to this Tapestry. Legend says that the first Changelings fell through the world as it was woven together, only to be caught on the First Weave beneath it all.

But what happens when something else is caught in the Weave?

Prince Phasmatodea, son of Queen Chrysalis, remembers what it was like before he hatched. He remembers being a human. He remembers dying. And he fully intends on avoiding another death.

But being gifted a new life does not matter when one failure, one false step, will lead to your untimely demise in the Changeling hive, for Prince Phasma must survive his toughest adversary from the start: Mother Dearest.


Cover art as of 1/18/21 by Nixworld

Chapters (151)
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Rainbow Dash's morning was pretty much ruined.
She tripped getting out of bed and landed flat on her face, giving herself an aching muzzle.
She forgot to buy her favorite brand of hay flakes at the store yesterday and had to eat plain toast for breakfast.
She found out she had to pull double-duty today and tomorrow on the weather patrol.
Oh, and she found a nearly-dead foal, broken and bleeding at the edge of Ponyville.

The rest of her day became a whirlpool of stress and worry but the colt woke up, thank Celestia.
Something's not right, though. Nopony can find his parents, he's not in the registers, and there's an unsettling look in his eye...

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YouTube reading by Fire Hearth

Chinese Translation by forgivenlove

Russian Translation by Likantrop

TV Tropes page, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

Chapters (15)