Chapter XLIV: Yaks
"Hey, Starlight, what do you know about yaks?"
"Why would I of all ponies know anything about yaks?"
"Simple, if you're going for equality, then you have to have some plan for the yaks in that ideal society of yours. Hence you should know at least something about them."
"...You are the worst pony I have ever met," Starlight said, as she glared at me so intensely that I would be surprised if she wasn’t imagining me suffering some horrendous fate.
"Though since I was an alien before, would I still count in the running for worst pony?" I asked, which caused Starlight to deadpan at me instead. She and I were waiting at one of the castle's entrance hallway, with my first recruits and Silver beside us, as we watched Twilight greeting the yaks. Who were big, and hairy, and loud. "Wait, did their prince just sa—"
"This no taste like yak food! Fake pony food make yaks mad!" the lead yak yelled, before he and his companions started to trash the place.
As the Elements simple stared in horror, as I just gawked at the scene for a moment due to being surprised that not only were the yaks destroying the place, but the Elements weren't doing anything to stop them. I looked at Twilight as she was about to panic as I asked, "Is this a regular thing for ambassadors to do in this world?" Receiving silence, I just frowned at her before saying, "Alright troops, we're leaving."
"Wait, what?" Twilight said, her voice finally finding its way back to her.
"Look, Twilight, as much as we need other nations to support a global defense initiative, we don't need... that," I replied, pointing a hoof at the yaks who were tearing up the place still. "They're acting like a bunch of brutes, which typically gets themselves killed in my line of work at a breakneck pace. Besides, there's a second reason for me leaving, that you should have realized by now."
"A second reason?"
"To put it simply, I have a feeling that if I hang around these yaks long enough, someone is going to be tased. Do you actually want to take that risk?"
After rushing my squad out of the palace, I sent them and Silver to the rest of the troops with the plans for today's training. I, however, kept Starlight with me, dragging her to Sugarcube Corner where we just sat down on a table as I tried to keep a headache from popping up. "All that preparation and in the end I just get to see another bunch of idiots," I said as I rubbed my forehooves against the sides of my head.
"Tell me about it," Starlight commented, as she looked over a menu that the Cakes provided.
This cause me to give a good long and hard look as I asked, "Are you trying to imply something about me?"
"Please, we both know that neither one of us are fools," Starlight replied. "I was talking about those recruits of yours. I already gave up on getting you to understand equality, but those imbeciles sti—"
"Whoa, wait, you're tired of trying to convert me to your way of thinking?" I questioned. "Now that is something I would really want to hear."
Giving me a flat stare, Starlight answered, "I finally accepted that you're an alien. There is nothing anypony can do to make somepony like that equal with everypony else. That and you're the most messed up pony in existence."
"Congratulations, you’ve finally come to the same conclusion that everyone else that spent at least a week with me came to: that I'm a twisted and cruel filly that won't conform to anything that I don't agree with," I responded, clapping my forehooves together slowly.
"Oh shut it already," Starlight snapped back, resuming her glare for a moment. I just smirked at her, causing one of her eyelids to twitch.
"Honestly though, I have no idea what makes you think that having no Cutie Mark and no special talent is supposed to help anyone. It just sounds like something that will make folk miserable, unless you think that when everyone is miserable, then they finally can get along."
"It's Cutie Marks and special talents that are the very thing driving ponies apart! When ponies don't have to focus on following their 'destiny', then they won't be ignoring their friends or thinking they're above others on the grounds that they're special! When everypony is equal, things like that won't come to pass!"
Looking around, I started to see that some of the customers were staring at us, or shaking their heads due to hearing this stuff before. "Yeah, I kinda see your point there," I said, causing Starlight's eyes to widen before I raised a hoof to stop her from saying anything. "However, I really think you're getting the wrong message from things like that if that's why you're so high up on your equality bit."
Narrowing her eyes, Starlight asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, I see it like this: if a pony decides to follow their destiny, but in the process leaves their friends behind or starts getting a superiority complex, than that pony is a jerk. All in all, it seems like this destiny thing or their Cutie Marks may just help show what kind of pony they really are. Not that they should ignore their calling in life, but they really should have put an effort to remain connected to their close ones regardless of the path their destiny takes."
Starlight just stared at me for a moment, before blinking a bit as she replied, "Well… I never thought of it like that before..."
Shrugging, I responded, "It's all a matter of perspective. One person may see things differently than another, so I can't blame you if you only saw something in that kind of light. Though, by the sounds of it, there's a story behind your reasoning." Biting down on her lip, Starlight just stare at me before letting out a huff. "Eh, suit yourself, though I really recommend that if there is really a story behind all this, that you should talk to someone."
"Like who, Twilight Sparkle?" Starlight shot back.
"That's your call, though with her, I have a feeling that it would just turn into some long-winded lecture on friendship. Still, better to find someone to talk about it instead of letting it all build up until it finally explodes. I mean, look at me, I'm going to therapy for my anger issues."
Deadpanning at me, Starlight replied, "I don't think it's working for you."
"That's what you might think, but honestly it is working. Without it, odds are when I went to Canterlot a month ago, I would have broken some nobles' bones out of sheer frustration. That or zapped them enough that their coats would catch on fire."
"Oh really? Then what about the fact that you seem to single me out of all your recruits when you do your Tartarus-damned rock dodging exercises‽"
"Simple, you're a mare with a lot of magic potential, from what I’ve been told. It would be a waste to have you be a simple recruit in this new army. So I decided to raise the difficulty for you in the hopes that it would toughen you up sooner," I nonchalantly replied.
"Do you honestly expect me to believe that? When you threatened to kill me?" Starlight countered as she glared at me intensely.
"Eh, I'm just being honest to you. Up to you if you want to believe me or not," I said with a shrug. "If you weren't a threat to my family and friends, I say there might be a possibility that we could get along."
"Now that I don't believe. I won't be surprised that you'll toss me aside the moment I'm not of use to you."
That caused me to cock an eyebrow at her, as I replied in a leveled voice, "Don't mix me with those kinds of folk. I dealt with enough of them that I despise people like that." Starlight's pupils shrank, as she realized that she stepped on a nerve as I placed both hooves on the table to lean a bit closer to her. "I'm not a pony that is just going to abandon others on a whim. Buck! The only reason I'm even pushing my recruits so hard is so they have the best chance of surviving what may come! I could have simply live a simple life as a normal foal, but instead I'm putting up with all this stuff!"
I was taking a few calming breaths as Starlight stared at fear of the possibility that I may just attacked her for what she said. Her ears were folded down against her head, as she said, "I didn't know you would feel so strongly about something like that."
"You have your issues, and I have mine," I answered with a sigh as I got off the table. "In all honesty, you really need to abandon that equality idea, or at least rework it. It might have some value in the past, but with the changes that Equestria is going to face, it's an ideology that's not relevant anymore. Equestria can't afford to have everyone to be equal, it needs its people to be at their best. Besides, removing a pony's Cutie Mark won't change who they really are. If you lost a friend due to a Cutie Mark, then, no offense, but they weren't that good of a friend if they valued their perceived destiny over their friendship with you. What you need is friends that would value you regardless of what their destiny says. No matter what, everyone will be different from one another, but that shouldn't get in the way of friendship. Hay, I'm different on so many levels, yet I manage to make some friends in this world. Just cause you may have lost someone that may be close to you, that doesn't mean you should simply give up. Sometimes you just have to stand up and try again, instead of seeking what may seem like an easy way out. Friendship isn't an easy thing to achieve, but it's worth it in the end when you have true friends."
Starlight then bite her lip as she sat there, lost in her own thoughts. "I just... don't know if I can do that."
"It can't hurt to try. Better than being alone or driven to a path that put so many at odds with you."
Starlight looked down on the table for a moment, before looking up at me as she asked, "Do you really think we could be friends?"
"By the sounds of things, we’ve both felt the pain of loneliness, and hence we put our own special value on what friendship means to us. We have a sort of common ground to work with. So, hay, short of one of us doing something horrible to the other, I think we can eventually be friends."
"...How about everypony else? Like the Elements?"
"Well, if they can forgive and then befriend Discord of all people, than I suppose you can be friends with them too if you take the right steps."
Once again, silence returned as Starlight resumed her silent thinking, until I stick a hoof into my mane before pulling out a key and tossing it onto the table. That brought her out of her stupor as she asked, "What is that?"
"What do you think?" I answered, before pointing a hoof to my neck.
Her eyes widening, she replied, "You're really giving me that?"
"Sure, why not," I responded with a shrug. "If you're going to take a risk, I might as well. It's only fair after all."
Starlight hesitated at first, but she eventually took the key with her magic, levitating it to the lock on her collar. With a twist of the key, the collar popped off her neck to land on the table with a thud. Running a hoof over her neck, in a quiet voice she mumbled out, "Thank you."
"Yeah yeah, but don't expect me to start hugging you and stuff like that. We may become friends, but I'm not one for all that touchy stuff," I said, which probably killed the mood, if the frown Starlight gave me was any indication.
She then rolled her eyes as she replied in a frustrated voice, "No, I suspect that you'll still be the cruel psychotic filly that you are. And I won't be surprised if I find you blowing a trumpet into my ear tomorrow morning, you sadistic foal."
That caused me to give her a confused look at the sudden change in tone, until she smirked at me. I let out a chuckle as I said, "Heh, maybe we will be friends before long." I then spotted a bunch of angry yaks heading down the street outside. "Huh, the yaks look angry... well angrier than normal. I certainly hope that Twilight didn't do something to tick them off enough to declare war on us or something."
"Do you honestly think she would make a mistake that big?" Starlight asked as she watched the scene as well.
"Well, knowing her and based on how the yaks reacted earlier, I say yes. Come on Starlight, let's go round up the recruits. Maybe we can get some live target practice before the day ends."
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And then, Rarity had a fire sale on Yak-fur coats.
The end.
I like Starlight now, never thought I would say that.
Awww, she knows her so well, that's adorable!
Nice to finally see them getting along (kinda), and you've done a good job with the "redemption" material from the s5 finale. Great chapter.
6687987
newnownext.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/macklemore-thrift-shop-review.jpg
They did declare war after all, let's get an early start...
6688004 ......And the only ones who showed up to take advantage of the sale, only had 20 bits each, and had a strange obsession with popping the tags off of things.
LOL
Isn't firing on the yaks an act of war? And isn't that wasn't the episode about avoiding war?
WHY AETHER THINK THINGS THROUGH
6687987
Was Rarity's Fire Sale on Yak-Fur Coats because the coats happened to still be on fire from when they we still on the yaks?
They shall have a live target practice with their stun guns no matter who the target is: Angry Yaks or Aether's troops.
Warning, Warning! Aether Aura has just decided upon live target practice. All troops grab your junk and hide in your trunks.
hopefully this doesn't blow up in Aethers face
People Aether said she "might" get live fire targets. She insinuated that the fire would only be I'd the yaks declared war..... which I can't actually remember if they did or not.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
6688038
I think it's if THEY say they're at war, they'll quickly find themselves under "surprise involuntary assisted target practice".
6688385
FIRE THE EXPLOSIVE CHAIRS MEN!!!
But Aether what are th-
JUST DO AS I SAY!
A true, true, freind is a freind indeed....
Groan, whyfor you hit me with chair on fire Aether?
Love this take on Starlight a lot! Each chapter gets better and better!
6688111 I distinctly recall one yak shouting this line: "YAKS DECLARE WAR!" So yes, this should be good.
... this guy updates quickly....
I see multiple outcomes, very few of them benefiting yaks, and even fewer have them walking away unscathed.
Looks like Aether has finally found a kindred spirit.
6688778 I think we may have created a new running joke now... I like it
Oooo, I see you used some stuff from the Sea5 finale, haha! Nice!
Good work on this mane~
6689848
This is just getting better and better...
Hit the jaks with pies!
6687987 Would Astral be the one to fire on the yaks?
6691932 sure. Why not? Burning things - it's therapeudic.
6689135 "YAKS SURRENDER!!!"
High risk, high reward. I like it.
.... well crap, i'm caught up on another story. i hope this one updates more often.
6694529
It updates every Tuesday and Friday and I don't think it's missed a day yet, could be wrong or worse I could of just jinxed it.
I mostly search comments for free pictures and gifs.....
Good Chapter otherwise!!
And then Starlight went and changed the timeline again.
Some of those might even be more optimal to countering an alien invasion than Equestria Prime, really.
6750970 Did... Did you just make a Transformers joke. Wow.
Ahem.
6782764
I'm surprised that there wasn't a panic or information quickly passed throughout Ponyville then to the rest of Equestria. I mean the Yaks did just call out war and not even Aether heard a thing about it yet. At least she could guess about Twi's "mistake" from the Yaks expression. But we all know how this ended in the series.
EVERYPONY! FOLLOW ME! CLICK "NEXT"!
6768445 he didn't. He was referring to the 'prime' timeline, the one we see in the show.
6768445
oh, that made me think of that "friendship is Optimal story"...
(it's one of those stories where a computer program called "CelestAI" turns all humans into ponies)
8298745
Begone with that abomination thou hath named!! Those stories only end in Tragedy and I shall not hear of them!
That was a really nice touchy feeling between Starlight and Aether!! 😁
She's not wrong though
Mhmm, could have utilized the ancient technology, know only in myths and legends as... letters *dun dun dun*
Twice
7126573
one of my favorite sorties, "MLP time loops", calls that the "Baseline" events.
every chapter sort of has a different timeline, and many are strange crossovers.