//------------------------------// // Witches 3D // Story: A Witch in Broad Daylight // by Epsilon-Delta //------------------------------// Rarity reclined on a fainting couch as she listened to Dash’s story up to this point. “You’re a hundred percent certain that this is that Twilight Sparkle?” Rarity asked, still incredulous. “A hundred percent,” said Dash. “If not then she’s just as strong.” “Well she would certainly be able to cast the living metal spell I’d need to finish the life support system,” said Rarity. “But how in Equestria are you going to convince her to cast it, or preferably teach it, to me?” “I think we have just enough to negotiate with her,” said Pinkie. “We got cool robots and stuff to get her attention, we’ll have broken through her defenses three times in two days, we’ll be the only ones who know where she is!” “You’re just going to try talking to her?” Rarity raised her eyebrow. “Certainly an unorthodox method for dealing with witches.” “I have a plan B if it turns into a fight again,” said Pinkie. “But I think she’s not that evil! We can totally maybe convince her to help you. I bet if we can show her all the horrible things that were done with her magic, she’d want to help all of us! ” “Well I suppose if there’s even a one percent chance of this helping my sister it’s worth it,” said Rarity. “And if you got away from her twice then it can’t be that dangerous to go.” “Yeah, but we need a way to break the barrier she surrounded herself with,” said Dash. “Otherwise there’s nothing we can do.” “Yes. Well a seal breaker 1250RF should be able to get through nearly any barrier, but I don’t have one on me,” said Rarity. “I’ll have to go to the mad science league. Just let me get my mask on, I can’t be seen in polite society like this.” Rarity put on an iron mask that covered the left half of her face. “And what are they going to ask for in return?” Dash asked. “Like I said, post-money utopia.” Rarity went up to that big machine with the projector attached to it. “They’ll loan me just about anything I ask for. Why, thanks to a forbidden technology, I can even get it right now.” Rarity hit a few buttons on the machine, the projector turning on. “It’s called the internet!” Lightning flashed at just that moment. Dash heard a noise reminiscent of a phone dialing, then a beep, then some kind of howling noise. “What is this?” Dash asked. “You’re not summoning a demon, are you? Cause it sounds like we’re summoning a demon.” “Tch! Your lack of understanding shows how barbaric you are!” Rarity rolled her eyes. “No, it just uses phone lines to send pictures and text as well as sound to ponies far away.” “You can do that?” Dash asked. “But if that’s all it does, why is it forbidden?” “See,” Pinkie whispered to her, “cause it’s like what if it makes ponies more disconnected than ever?” “More disconnected? Ha! That’s assuming you already have friends to be disconnected from! I wouldn’t speak to anypony for years at a time without this.” Rarity hit a few keys on her keyboard once the sounds stopped. “Nothing’s happening,” Dash said after a minute. “Shh! Shh! It takes a minute.” Rarity hushed her. “Oh, and we dislike ponies who don’t have mental disorders so if they ask you both have ADHD. They’ll buy that.” The projector finally began showing an image. It was split into four squares, each depicting another pony. There was a rather normal looking mare and stallion, white and grey respectively, then there was a mint green pony whose legs and left eye were replaced by golden machinery. The fourth and final pony was shrouded in darkness so that Dash couldn’t even tell their gender. Conveniently, they all had their names written right under the square depicting them. ‘Coco Pommel’, ‘Hoity Toity’, ‘Kerfufffffffffffffffle’ and ‘???’ respectively. “Rarity,” the shadowy pony had a voice changer too, making them even more non-descript. “We were all just complaining about how the new Winter Wars movie completely ruins the entire series! Wait, who are these two? They don’t look fabulous or crazy! You can’t bring plebeians on here or they’ll ruin the internet with their damnable cat pictures and latte art!” “I have ADHD!” Pinkie announced, jumping up on the control panel and pressing her face against the camera. “Whatever that is!” “Yes, that checks out.” The pony with the voice changer nodded. “I retract my statement.” “Is this guy’s name question marks?” Dash asked. “This is the leader of the mad science league,” said Rarity. “They like to be mysterious.” “Indeed! I cannot possibly reveal my identity any further,” the leader warned. “My true identity is so incredibly shocking that ponies have literally had heart attacks the moment they learn my name! Raise your expectations now, little pony, for if you ever learn my name it will be the twist of the century!” “Well, I for one don’t think ADHD is enough to excuse those dreadful manes.” Hoity Toity flicked his own perfectly kept mane. “How can you allow such filthy individuals into your home? Don’t you know meeting ponies in person can make you sick?” “I think it’s enough. I’m not actually on the eighth either,” Coco assured Dash. “I just have obsessive-compulsive disorder. But we live in a society that assumes anyone with a serious mental disorder is associating with the outer gods, so I had no choice but to join a criminal organization and do unethical experiments with them.” Coco came in close against her camera. “By the way, you have a bit of green in the blue part of your mane can you—?” Coco’s eye twitched again. Dash checked herself and fixed it. Coco let out a sigh of relief. “Yes, and I am Kerfuffffffffffffffle!” The cyborg looking one said. “She keeps adding more f’s to her name the crazier she gets,” Rarity whispered to her. “It’s for all the extra fuff.” “There’s so much fuff!” Kerfuffle put her hooves on her head and ducked down. “The fuff never stops! You can’t possibly understand how much fuff there is!” “Did you want to see my new meme?” Coco asked. “See it’s got Starlight saying ‘it’s not a cult if your god doesn’t exist’ but then Nailbat’s standing behind her and he’s saying—" “Yes, I’m sure your political commentary is razor-sharp,” said Rarity. “But actually, I was hoping to borrow a seal breaker from one of you.” “Oh, I have one,” said Coco. “But I need your help pasting Starlight Glimmer’s head onto a penguin. It’s going to be funny; I swear!” “But what exactly do you need to break with it?” the mysterious leader asked. “Oh, you know those filthy cultists,” said Rarity. “Always vandalizing our lawns, writing incomprehensible messages in blood on our fences, making false accounts just to post logical fallacies on our forums, sealing away our things in vases that won’t open for one thousand years.” “Oh yes, I know all too well,” said the leader. “They must be stopped! And they will be stopped!” The shadowy leader started laughing hysterically. Kerfuffle and Hoity Toity joined him in short order, laughing just as loud. Coco’s laugh was clearly forced, existing only to fit in. “Hehehe!” Rarity nodded and pointed at the camera before shutting the whole thing off. “Well they seemed happy,” said Pinkie. “Well we won’t get it until tomorrow,” said Rarity. “You’re welcome to stay here until then.” The storm outside was still going. This would be the third time Dash went after Twilight, but she felt less excited than ever before. Was it because she was getting used to it? Or maybe it was just because the reward was looking less certain all the time. Dash almost hoped they’d have to go to plan B… Day three of this! They brought Rarity and Sweetiebot back to Twilight’s house, though you couldn’t see it right now. Sweetiebot put her hoof up against the first barrier, the force flowing through her enough to light her up, yet she managed to stay in the same spot. The hope was that Twilight wouldn’t be able to get rid of Sweetiebot that easily and that Sweetiebot would be an enormous distraction for Twilight. Right now, it seemed like that might be the case. The seal breaker was a long metal cylinder about the length of a pony. One end had a drill that dug it halfway into the ground before metal grips came out to hold itself in place. Then the top part opened, and green light emerged from the crystal implanted inside. “Okay, I learned this lesson the hard way thirty years ago.” Pinkie turned around to face the others as the seal breaker dug into the ground. “If either of you has like a lamp with a demon trapped inside of it or if a psycho zombie is sleeping in the lake or anything like that you gotta speak up now. Cause this is going to break every seal in a five-mile radius.” “I checked the lake, and it seems fine.” Dash shrugged. “If there is a ghost trapped in there then it’s whoever’s fault for not putting up a sign like you’re supposed to.” “Yes, and I made sure to leave my demon-possessed shoes at home,” said Rarity, “lovely as they are.” “And I don’t sense any ghosts, so we have plausible deniability.” Pinkie winked at them. “Let’s do this!” The light on top of the seal breaker faded away only for the ground around it to start glowing the same color soon after as if the light itself was being injected into the ground. The entire barrier glowed the same green. It looked like there was a struggle between the two forces. Dash heard the seal breaker clattering and humming, could feel heat radiating off it. The barrier changed back and forth between green and white. But in the end, the barrier got eaten away by the green stuff. After that first, strongest one, the other barriers fell faster and faster until finally they were all gone, and Twilight’s treehouse was visible again. “Hey it worked,” said Dash. “Science prevails again!” Rarity declared. “Take that, you stupid cultists!” “I’m pretty sure science also created those shields, but whatever,” said Dash. “Come on! Let’s go knock!” Pinkie walked up to the door. “I doubt she’d know what knocking means,” Dash pointed out. “Good point. We just gotta barge in then,” said Pinkie. “Sweetiebot, you’re up first.” “I will destroy all!” Sweetiebot threw the door open. “Metaphorically speaking.” The robot charged straight into the house. “I am Sweetiebot! Behold me!” Sweetiebot opened her forelegs wide. “Behold!” “What the crow?!” Twilight jumped off her couch, she looked around and jumped back in surprise to see the rest of them following. “You again?! And you brought even more people?!” “That’s right!” Dash covered one eye, striking a pose. “No matter how hard you try you can never get rid of the amazing Rainbow Dash! You ready to negotiate?” “Okay, that’s it!” Twilight put her hat on and took out her spellbook. “No more nice witch for you! I’m turning all of you into frogs!” Pinkie nodded at Dash. This was one of the scenarios they planned for, being an obvious next step in escalation from Twilight. Twilight cast the spell on Sweetiebot first, being the closest, but nothing happened to the robot. “It didn’t work?” Twilight asked. “But why?” “My body cannot be destroyed by any means!” Sweetiebot 9000 announced. “Nor can it be distorted. Transformation magic is as useless against me as begging for mercy will be!” Guns emerged from either side of Sweetiebot. “Okay, but how?” Twilight was completely unconcerned about the guns. “The life energy went straight through you.” “I can explain!” Rarity jumped in through the door. “You see, she’s not alive so she doesn’t absorb life energy. Interesting, no?” “Wait. Who the crow are you?” Twilight asked, then looked down at Sweetiebot. “Also, who the are you? Why are there so many ponies here?!” “I am Sweetiebot 9000!” Sweetiebot announced. “The ultimate little sister! I have the highest defense of all little sisters!” “Huh? Wait, that’s not armor.” Twilight stepped forward to study Sweetiebot. “You’re right, it’s not alive. But then what is this thing?” “Invincible,” said Sweetiebot. “Rarity has granted me an indestructible body.” “You were transformed into this?” Twilight asked. “No, no. This is called a robot.” Rarity trotted up to Twilight. “My name is Rarity, by the way, I’m the one who made her. Robots are mechanical constructs that can react to their environment, much like living things do.” “I see, so it’s like Smarty Pants.” Twilight turned to her scarecrow. “Though I created her through aetheric imprinting on existing plant matter. Animating a body made of metal, in the same way, would be impossible. Even more impressive is imparting enough intelligence on it to hold a conversation. It can hold a conversation, right?” “Not only can I converse,” said Sweetiebot, “but I can slaughter all those who dare converse with me!” “How were you able to make it talk?” Twilight asked. “Well once you have memristors it’s not that difficult,” said Rarity. They continued like that for a few minutes, Dash’s brain glazing over. Memristors? Phantom stitching? Covalent aluminum? Now it was Dash’s turn to not understand ninety percent of what was being said. Either way, this was a good time to move into position in case things went south again. Dash slowly sidestepped until she was next to the cauldron. Pinkie was right; Twilight’s main weakness was how easily distracted she was. “Well, as impressive as her brain is, my ultimate goal is to implant the brain of a living pony into one of these near-invincible bodies.” Rarity grabbed her sister with one foreleg and tapped her skull with the opposite hoof. “Imagine it! Imagine! Sweetiebot 9000 was my attempt at creating the perfect body. I already have most of the life support system ready, really only missing a way to safely graft nerve tissue into metal.” “Putting someone’s brain inside one of these machines? That’s a fascinating idea! I never really gave much thought into doing some kind of brain transplant. Have you tried using a living metal spell on the skull?” “Hm?” Rarity stepped forward, trying hard to keep her enormous smile down. “I’m afraid I don’t know that spell.” “Oh, I could do it right now if we had a brain!” Twilight took out her spellbook and scanned her options, settling on Dash. “Hey! Could I take your brain out to test it?” “What?” Suddenly Dash was paying attention again. “No way!” “Hm.” Twilight became lost in thought. “Oh, how coincidental! I already have a brain I’ve been saving!” Rarity pointed to the door. “Let’s go get it!” Thrilled this was going so great for her, Rarity marched towards the door, humming happily. “Leave?” Twilight froze in place. “I’m not leaving!” “Hm?” Rarity turned around to see Twilight not following. “Well I can bring the brain to you and then—" “No.” Twilight’s look became suspicious once more. “I think I realize what’s going on here now! You’re just trying to trick me into using my powers to help you, aren’t you?!” “What? Me? No!” Rarity feigned surprise briefly. “Maybe. Come on!” “I’m not helping you ungrateful people ever again.” Twilight turned away. “You can figure the spell out yourself!” “You can have anything you want!” Rarity begged. She fell onto her belly and grabbed one of Twilight’s forelegs. “I can give you half a castle! I can give you Sweetiebot!” “What?” Sweetiebot turned to Rarity. “Or— make a third Sweetiebot 9000 for you! That’s fair, right?” Rarity asked. “No! I learned my lesson.” Twilight pulled her foreleg up. “Please!” Rarity grabbed onto her other foreleg. “If you don’t—" Rarity burst into tears. Twilight’s expression immediately softened. “Please! My sister won’t survive without you! I can’t lose everyone! I need her back!” “Hey!” Twilight waved her hoof, trying to get Rarity off of her but it wasn’t working. “Stop it! Stop crying!” Rarity kept wailing. “I love my sister so much! She’s the only thing I care about!” Rarity’s crying became uncontrollable. Twilight clearly had no idea how to react to this. She nervously looked around the room, Rarity’s crying getting to her right away. “Okay! Okay! I’ll get you the thing!” Twilight broke free from Rarity and went over to her shelf. “Just stop crying.” Twilight took out her spellbook and tore a tiny piece of paper out of it. She swirled this around in the air, the paper elongating as it spun until it became a long string, glowing pink. Next, she swiped through a few cauldrons until she got one filled with a liquid whose surface mirrored the room perfectly. She dipped the fiber into the cauldron, causing the liquid to ripple so much it nearly spilled out, and cast a spell. When Twilight pulled the fiber back out, there was a piece of reflective glass at the end of it. Looping the thread around turned it into a necklace and it was this Twilight presented to Rarity. “Mind fibers can give you memories and expertise when you’re touching them.” Twilight put the necklace on Rarity. “This functions like a spellbook but for just one spell. As long as you’re wearing this, you’ll understand the living metal spell as well as I do.” Rarity’s eyes glazed over, she almost drooled as she stared forward for a good thirty seconds. Then she shook her head, coming back to her senses, then more than her senses. “I do understand!” Rarity’s eyes were now ablaze at that realization. “I know exactly how to cast it!” Rarity couldn’t contain her joy. She ran around the room one time before grabbing Sweetiebot. “I can finally do this! Isn’t this wonderful, Sweetiebot? Now you can have two big sisters!” Sweetiebot merely tilted her head. “Thank you so much!” Rarity hugged Twilight tight. “You saved my sister’s life!” “But this is the only thing I’m giving you.” Twilight turned her head quickly, puffing out her cheek. “Crying won’t work next time!” “See?” Pinkie looked at Dash and pointed at Twilight. “I told you she wasn’t so bad! Now we just gotta convince her to undo all the horrible stuff she’s done!” “I haven’t done any horrible things!” Twilight’s brow went flat. “Stop blaming me for stuff you idiots did to yourselves.” “If you created the curse of undeath then you’re responsible for all the zombies, okay?” Dash asked. “That means you gotta clean up the mess!” “I didn’t create the curse of undeath!” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Wait. You didn’t?” Dash and the other two all shared a look. Dash honestly didn’t know the full story, but everyone always said it was Twilight and Twilight hadn’t actually denied it until now. “The only curse I put on all of you outsiders was the one to keep you away.” Twilight jabbed Dash with a hoof. “It was an outsider like you who created the curse of undeath!” “Wait, but who specifically?” Dash asked. “You obviously know something about it! We’re not leaving till you spill it!” “It’s a long story.” Twilight turned away. “Can I hear it?” Pinkie jumped to be in her sight again. “See there was this guy.” Twilight closed her eyes and lowered the brim of her hat, stopping her story at the start. “That’s a really short story, actually.” Pinkie scratched her head, trying to figure it out. “Also, it doesn’t answer anything.” “There’s more.” Twilight sighed like she was about to eat something gross but opened her eyes again. “There was this guy who— I guess— he kind of convinced me to— to be his, you know, girlfriend?” Twilight began blushing uncomfortably. “Daw!” Pinkie’s eyes went straight into puppy-dog mode. “That’s so cute!” “Was he cute?” Rarity asked. “Tell me more! I’m too ugly to date anyone myself so I have to live vicariously through you!” “It’s not cute!” Twilight waved them away. “This is a sad story!” “Oh.” Rarity put a hoof around Twilight’s shoulder. “You tampered with powers beyond the comprehension of normal ponies to try and bring him back to life. I can absolutely relate to you, dear.” “No.” Twilight pushed Rarity off. “Anyway, he’s how I found out that there was a town and stuff out there, though we mostly just talked about magic. I gave him everything he asked me for. I gave him eternal youth, all kinds of magical objects, taught him how all sorts of spells work, but none of that was ever enough for him. He always wanted more and more!” “I think he wanted to be as powerful as me and I told him that you needed to train non-stop for centuries to get this good. But he was impatient. He went behind my back and did something I specifically told him wouldn’t work. Ultimately, he failed and created a number of immense problems, including the curse of undeath." Twilight closed her eyes and started tapping her hoof. “We got into a big fight, but the next morning I figured it couldn’t possibly do that much harm, so I was going to apologize. But when I woke up, I found he’d stolen all of my spellbooks and a bunch of other stuff!” Twilight’s tapping got faster. “And worse! He told all of his stupid friends about me because like four other ponies showed up after that, all of them liars and thieves! I had to make that curse just to try and get some peace but apparently, that didn’t work either!” “Okay, so maybe you’re not responsible for that one,” said Dash. “But you still know how to end it, yeah? You gotta tell us everything you know about it.” “As I said, it’s not a big deal.” “But it is a big deal,” Pinkie assured her. “Come with me and I’ll show you it’s a big deal! Lot’s of people are crying right now! I know if I show you you’ll understand!” Pinkie grabbed Twilight’s foreleg and tried pulling her towards the door. “If I leave my house you people are going to steal all of my stuff.” Twilight pulled her foreleg back. “Planned for that too, Twilight!” Pinkie motioned for Sweetiebot to come over. “If I can’t bring you to the big deal then I’ll bring the big deal to you! With a slide show!” Sweetiebot’s eyes turned yellow and they began projecting an image onto the wall of Twilight’s house. It was a city scene, a canal running between rows of castle-like buildings. “This is the beautiful city of Maretropolis.” Pinkie clicked to another slide of it. “It’s full of beautiful collegiate gothic architecture, famous for the several waterway streets and the golden pearls the clams that live just outside the city produce.” Twilight stepped forward, briefly mesmerized by the scene. She stood an inch away from the projection, trying to take in all the unfamiliar, mind-blowing sights like she was looking at the outer gods themselves. “And here it is on fire!” Pinkie switched to the next slide. “Because of a zombie dragon.” Twilight stepped back when the slide turned to nearly the same scene only every building was burning, and the few ponies were running around panicking. She looked shocked, but that could be for any number of reasons. “City. Fire. City. Fire.” Pinkie kept switching between various cities, then that same city on fire. “You seeing a trend yet, Twilight?” “Yeah.” Twilight raised her hoof. “What is a city?” Dash and Rarity groaned so hard they nearly fell over. “It’s right there!” Dash pointed to the city, currently not burning, on the slide. “I seriously thought we were getting somewhere! “Oh.” Twilight reconsidered the city. “And is it bad that it’s on fire?” “Give her time,” Pinkie said. “A city is like a really big town. Ponies live there and that’s where all the best parties take place. That’s why it’s bad when it’s on fire.” “Oh. And what’s that?” Twilight pointed to a boat. “That’s a boat.” “And that?” “Mailbox?” “A male box?” Twilight mused. “So it’s an animal? And what’s this odd rock formation?” Twilight pointed to the sidewalk. “Okay, maybe this is overstimulating you. No worries, when my dad saw moving pictures for the first time, he got so overstimulated he fainted!” Pinkie poked Sweetiebot to signal her to switch gears. “Maybe we can go with something simpler.” Sweetiebot closed her eyes hard and when they reopened the projection was now a field of corn. “Okay! This is corn! You eat it to survive.” Pinkie changed the slide. “This is zombies eating the corn. And then— oh no! There’s no food left!” The next slide was of a young filly who would have been adorable were it not for the fact she was nearly a skeleton. Dash glanced over at Twilight to see her visibly disturbed by this new image. “This poor filly is starving now, Twilight!” Pinkie ran up to the slide and pretended to hug her. “And every year the number of zombies increases! Eventually every orphan will be starving. We gotta help her by getting rid of the zombies before they eat all of our food again! For just five bits we can feed her for a year.” Dash never got those commercials, personally. Where the crow did you get food for a year for just five bits? It was certainly having the intended effect this time. Twilight was giving the starving orphan the same pained look she gave Rarity before relenting earlier. But it didn’t stick, sympathy slowly melting back into skepticism. “Hold on. How do I know this is an actual pony and not just some illusion you conjured?” Twilight asked. “If she’s real then what’s her name?” “Um.” Pinkie looked at Rarity. “Oh, I don’t know,” said Rarity. “It was just the first image on starvingchildren.pny. I still don’t know why they have that website.” “That’s what I thought. Go back three.” Twilight watched as the city was brought back up. “And what about all these ponies? Can you name even one of them?” “Well, no, but—" “Just as I suspected! None of these are real ponies! It’s all just illusions.” Twilight nodded to herself. “You barely even tried with this one.” Dash planted her face in her hoof, defeated. “Okay, so how the crow do we convince somepony like this of the truth?” Dash asked. “I don’t know.” Pinkie crossed her forelegs and tried to think. “I guess we could find a starving orphan and bring her here. Do either of you have any starving orphans I can borrow?” Dash and Rarity shook their heads. “I don’t know what you’re really up to, but if this is so important to you then why don’t you put in all the hard work to end it, huh?” Twilight asked. “Because we don’t know how,” said Dash. “Nopony knows how to break it! We barely know how it works at all since it seems to break the whole ‘knowing the rules’ thing.” “Don’t you know how the curse works?” Rarity asked. “If you were there?” Twilight stopped to think about it. “Actually,” Twilight thought to herself. “It’d likely take you a whole year to pull it off! You’d be out of my hair the whole time. And maybe since I didn’t actually help you, you won’t keep coming back here for favors. I really should call your bluff.” “Yeah! I can go running off on adventures again so that works out for me! If you help us clean up the mess, I swear I’ll keep all of this a secret!” Pinkie offered. “In fact, I’ll help keep everypony else away from here! We all will, right?” Pinkie looked at Dash who unenthusiastically agreed. “Okay, fine. Then I’ll tell you how,” said Twilight. “There are two parts to this. The first half is more difficult but more important. When the spell was cast it created an entity born out of chaos itself. All of you bear the curse of undeath, but this entity can impart that knowledge of how to break the curse, allowing it to activate and turn you into a zombie. ” “Let me guess, this thing is insanely tough?” Dash guessed. “For me? No. For you? Yes. But there’s an easy way to destroy it. Let me double-check something.” Twilight went over to her bookshelf and, after looking through it for a minute, took out a small journal. She circled two things written down in it. “Right. It’ll take me too long to make new ones, but you can go find some of the things that were stolen from me.” Twilight turned the book to Pinkie. “Specifically, you need this hammer and this potion. The latter is in an infinity flask that never runs out so it should still be full. Can you open a portal to the outer realm?” “Oh, sure! Ponies do that all the time,” said Pinkie. “It’s how I got so inspired,” Rarity added. “Okay, here’s how you summon it. You put two mirrors on either side, just within your peripheral vision, and a candle directly in front of you. You have to stare straight ahead the whole time, looking into either mirror is certain death. Open the portal straight ahead and start pouring the potion. It’ll come. You’ll be able to destroy it with the hammer when it comes out. Just don’t talk to it, it’s an annoying jerk and also it might kill you.” “But we still need to clear the condition for the curse to break and all the zombies to vanish, right?” Dash asked. “Can’t you just tell us what it is if you know?” “If I tell you that you’d turn into a zombie,” Twilight reminded her. “Yes,” Rarity spoke in that know-it-all nerd way, “that’s why nopony has ever figured it out. Because the moment you do, you die.” “Wait, hey!” Dash pointed an accusing hoof at Twilight. “If you know the answer then why aren’t you a zombie?!” “I’m immune to curses,” said Twilight. “That’s why I’m here in the first place.” “Wait!” Rarity was suddenly interested in this. “You are? Is that possible? May I have some of your blood? It’s for science!” “I already gave you people plenty!” Twilight turned her head away. “Anyway, as far as breaking it goes, I can’t tell you the answer. It’ll be obvious why you needed the candle and how to break the curse once the entity is dead. Just be fast or the curse will get you. Do you understand?” “Roger, double Roger, and triple Roger!” Pinkie finished writing it all down and saluted Twilight. “You can take this too.” Twilight handed the small journal to Pinkie. “It’s a list of everything that was ever stolen from me. I enchanted the book so if you touch the name of the missing object it will point you in the right direction. Never used it myself because I realized I’d have to leave the house.” “Whoa, really?!” Pinkie tried tapping on some of the names a few times, a purple sparkle appearing on the edges of it in a different direction each time. One of them was straight down, which must mean it was on the other side of the planet. “This would be amazing! With this, I can go on an adventure to gather everything and blow it all up!” “As long as it takes you more than two days,” said Twilight. “See! I knew you weren’t so bad!” Pinkie jumped forward and gave Twilight a hug, to which Twilight pulled away but not enough to escape. “I’ll tell you what! I’ll bring all the stuff back to you on your birthday! The not-incredibly-dangerous stuff that is.” “Birthday?” Twilight asked. "I have no idea what that even is! If you want to thank me just don't come back!" “And I’m eternally grateful for your gift as well.” Rarity hugged her too. “You really are a kind pony. If you ever need me just let me know.” “I won’t.” Twilight stood very still. “I don’t suppose I get anything cool?” Dash asked. “Yeah, you get twelve of my youth gummies.” Twilight pushed the other two off her with magic. “Okay, I guess that’s fair.” Dash sighed. “I suppose that wraps everything up.” Rarity clapped her hooves together, signaling Sweetiebot to follow. “In fact, I think all of our problems are solved now! What a happy ending all this was! I won’t keep you any longer, Twilight!” Rarity and Sweetiebot left. All of her problems were solved, maybe. “Are you coming with me, Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie put the journal in her bag. “It’ll be a crazy adventure!” “But we can still tell ponies we broke the curse even if we just don’t tell them how right?” Dash asked hopefully. Twilight was standing behind her, looking increasingly unamused. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Pinkie shook her head. “We gotta keep this whole operation a secret!” A secret? This might actually be the worst possible outcome. “I can’t afford to run around the world without getting paid.” Dash shook her head. “Did I seriously do all this for nothing?” “No! I’ll still get you that free hayburger card.” Pinkie put a foreleg around Dash’s shoulder. “And you’ll get the satisfaction of knowing you helped make the world a better place.” At least Dash wouldn’t starve when she got kicked out of her apartment in a couple of months. Maybe guys would be impressed by her ability to get free burgers? Sure, she had an in with Pinkie now, but Dash had hoped this would be the end rather than the beginning. “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t a total bust.” Dash slumped down against a tree. “Just give me a minute to be depressed about not getting a million bits.” “Aw. Try to cheer up!” Pinkie gave her a nudge. “You can visit me any time. And you can come to my Halloween party! It’ll be great!” Pinkie gave her a sad wave but went off to save the world or whatever. This was the end of the road for Dash. There was no way she’d be able to climb through the ranks legitimately, that’s why she went with this crazy plan in the first place. Dash was going to be alone forever. Even when she pulled off a miracle she still failed. Her dad was right, Dash was a loser. She was glad he was dead, if he ever found out about this, he would have never let Dash live it down. “Well that gets rid of two of them,” Twilight muttered. “I broke up your party, now I just have to deal with you.” That snapped Dash out of her depression. She slowly turned her head to see Twilight trotting in closer. Twilight watched Pinkie leave before turning to Dash once she was a good distance away. “Huh?” Dash stood up. “I thought we were done here.” “We’re far from done!” Twilight stepped forward. “We’re only done once I’ve found a way to permanently deal with you.” “What? I already promised I wouldn’t talk.” Dash backed up. “No, this whole thing made me realize that I can’t take the outside world as lightly as I used to,” said Twilight. “During the first four hundred years of my life, there seemed to be no progress in the outside world at all. But now in just two hundred things have changed radically. Your technology is dramatically more advanced, you know how to open portals to the outer realm, psychics and ghosts are vastly more powerful, you can harness super-radiation, even if it’s just ‘waste’. I need a more extreme solution.” Oh crap! Maybe this had backfired after all! “Yeah, sure! Once you hit the industrial revolution stuff like that kind of takes off.” Dash shrugged. “But that’s no reason to— to do whatever you’re about to do. Especially not to me! I’m the biggest loser of the bunch, remember?” “Don’t pretend like you aren’t the most dangerous of the three. No, I’ve met somepony like you before,” said Twilight. “Somepony who seems like a pathetic loser but is actually incredibly dangerous.” “I don’t know if that’s a compliment?” Dash shrugged. “And you ponies are trying to be all friendly and lure me out of my house! You’re exactly like the pony who stole my spellbooks! The only way to deal with somepony like you is to never let you out of my sight.” “Well— like how am I gonna go to the bathroom then, huh?” Dash started backing away. “I should just leave and never return.” “No.” Twilight cast a spell that froze Dash in place. “You’re not getting away that easy. The last two times you went to get help from other ponies, but this time I’ll make sure that can’t happen.” She cast another spell. Dash staggered back as she shrank, realizing she was being transformed again. She flailed about desperately trying to find out what she’d been turned into. She still had wings which was good, but her forelegs were missing now! Dash turned her head to look herself over to find it could turn all the way around. She was an owl now! “And you’re staying like that until I can find a way to resolve all of this.” Twilight went back to her books. “I guess you could try amassing an army of owls, but that’s your only option at this point.” Hardly! She could still get Pinkie! Dash flew out of there as fast as she could, which was awkwardly slow in her new form. She got just to the edge of the clearing, then crashed into an invisible barrier! Some magic was keeping her here! This one wasn’t going to be that easy.