Love, a romantic feeling that most folk feel for those that they're attracted to, binding two soul mates together for the rest of their lives. Love, something that could lead to the bringing of new life into the universe. Love, something that I never experienced in my life, at least in the terms of being attracted to another being. In my defense, it is hard to find love when you're constantly on the move, and that when your species is considered endangered, it makes finding someone to be attracted to all the more difficult.
So imagine my surprise in finding that I was, talking to five mares and three fillies about the fact that a pair of colts have a crush on me, most of whom were smiling at my discomfort. Rarity on the other hoof seemed to have something else on mind as she said, "Rainbow, it's not nice of you to laugh at a mare's love life." While she seemed to be defending me, her last words still made me cringe.
"I do not have a love life, just a couple of colts that I do not want anything to do with," I said in an annoyed tone, though this only served to cause the Crusaders to giggle at my discomfort.
"Now dear, I know that you may not be interested in colts right now, but I assure you that in the futu-" Rarity started to say before I quickly cut her off.
"Do not go there. I know what you are going to say, but I still will not be interested when I am older, or even when I am your age."
This time Twilight had something to say as she said, "I don't think you would know what you will feel towards colts in the future. You may think that you will never fall in love with a colt, but many fillies your age say that, and I firmly believe that you will change your mind as you grow older."
Rolling my eyes, I replied, "Twilight, I am certain that I will never be interested in colts. Now drop the subject, for good, or else."
"Or else what?" Rainbow challenged with a mocking grin.
After a flat stare, I pointed a hoof at the Crusaders as I answered, "Or else I say things that I am fairly certain no one here want these three to learn."
As the Crusaders looked at me in confusion, Applejack said, "Now wait a darn minute, you better not be givin' these fillies any dangerous ideas. Remember what you said a few days ago?"
"I remember Applejack, but that is not what I was talking about." My answer only served to confused everyone around me some more, until Rarity's face took on an expression of horror.
"You... you can't possibly mean that you know about... err..." Rarity said before stopping to glance at her sister as her face began to blush.
As my lips spread to reveal a wicked grin, I simply replied, "I think you know what I am talking about Rarity, so do you want to drop the 'love' subject now, or shall I talk about that instead?"
"What do you mean by 'that'?" Applejack asked before Rarity went over and whispered into Applejack's ear. It wasn't long before Applejack's eyes widen as her face's coat changed from a shade of orange to a shade of red. "You can't possibly know about that."
While the Crusaders and Pinkie were looking at the the three of us in confusion, it appeared that realization dawned on Twilight and Rainbow as their own faces began redden. After a moment Rainbow burst into laughter as she said, "Nice prank kid, there's no way you would know about that kind of stuff at your age." Her laughter was cut short though when I released a short chuckle while keeping my grin.
"If you do not believe me then come over here and I will do my best to explain what I know to you," I said as used my hoof to indicate for her to come closer. After she flew over to me and leaned her head close enough for me to whisper into, I began to whisper all I know, starting with the light basic stuff before moving onto the harder material. While I didn't had a love life, my travels have caused me to see some strange things, some I honestly wish I could scrub out of my brain.
At first Rainbow's jaw just dropped as she realized that I wasn't bluffing, but when I started to move onto the harder material, I could literally feel the heat from her face as it began to redden to extreme levels. Before I was halfway done with the harder material, she backed away from me as she said, "What the buck‽"
"Rainbow! Language!" Rarity shrieked as the others reared their heads back in surprise. Huh, seemed like buck could be used in a negative fashion, interesting.
"If you heard what Aether just told me you would be saying the same thing!" Rainbow yelled as she eyed me. "How does a foal even know those kind of things?"
"The real question is, do you really want to know how I know those things?" I asked, as all the adults with the exception of the confused Pinkie paled as their imaginations apparently ran wild. "Before anypony say a thing, I am still... err... 'clean'," I said after glancing at the confused Crusaders.
"Umm... well... we may need to talk about this still... Pinkie, would you be a dear and take the other fillies somewhere else?" Rarity asked as she gave Pinkie a forced smile.
"But why? Why can't Aether tell us that... thing?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"It's... complicated Sweetie, I'll explain it to you when you're older," Rarity said as Pinkie finally got the big picture and started to herd the Crusaders away from us, but not before glancing at me with a shocked look. Apparently her manic personality kept her mind off... certain things.
"Aether, no foal your age should know that kind of stuff. You said you were... 'clean,' but you have to te-" Applejack said before I interrupted her.
"And no foal has to live alone for thirteen years, but I did," I bluntly said. Odd that these mares never punished me for interrupting them. Maybe they're just too shocked by what I tell them.
My words silenced the mares for a moment before Twilight finally spoke up, "Aether, I think you should talk to somepony about this. You can always talk to Pinkie, the Cakes, or us if you need to."
Cocking an eyebrow, I looked around to make sure that no foal was around before turning my attention to her as I said, "So you want to talk about sex."
As my bluntness rendered Twilight gaping at me for a moment, Rarity asked in a shocked tone, "How... where did you learn that word?"
"Err... that word book Twilight gave to me a few days ago," I answered. After discovering just how far I was getting along in my understanding of Equestrian written words, Twilight decided to give me a dictionary to help progress my reading and vocabulary. While it helped me in learning words that would suit my purposes, I was still having difficulty in pronouncing some of the more complicated words.
After shaking her head clear of her shock, Twilight looked at me with a serious expression as she said, "Not funny, Aether. I'm serious when I say that you need to talk to somepony about this."
Giving Twilight an amused look, I simply replied, "If I did Twilight, they will end up being the ones that need to see somepony to talk to."
Rainbow folds her forelegs across her chest as she said, "Oh yeah? I think I can handle anything you have to say."
Turning my head to Rainbow, I deadpanned, "I do not think so, what I told you is not even the worst of it yet."
As the other mares paled at those words, Rainbow huffed as she said, "Hey, you only caught me off guard with how much you already knew, I can handle anything you have to say."
Releasing a sigh, I simply indicated with my hoof her to come closer. After she did, I proceeded to tell her about one of the most horrible 'lovemaking' sessions I had the misfortune of coming across. I was only fifteen words in before Rainbow recoiled in horror as her face took on a slight shade of green. "Still think you can handle it?" I asked, only to receive a shake of Rainbow's head as the others stared in horror at me. Rolling my eyes, I said, "If it helps anypony, most of the stuff I seen disturbs me too. So how about we just end this... talk now and go with I am not interested in colts, agreed?" to which all the mares gave a short nod to. While my knowledge on sexual interaction may be pressing my luck, in the end after seeing all the mares' reactions, it was worth the risk in my opinion.
"Good, now we can return to having fun with Rainbow's birthday pa—" I started to say before Pinkie suddenly dashed into my view.
"You mean Rainbow's birth-iversary!" Pinkie said as her sudden appearance caused me to jump back in shock.
"...Birth-iversary?"
"Yeah, cause it's not only her birthday, but it is also the anniversary of when she moved to Ponyville!"
"Ohh... okay then... well I am going to get some cake now, so please excuse me Pinkie," I said as I removed myself from the group as I made my way to the cake table.
"Okie dokey Lo—" Pinkie started to say till she suddenly gasped as she slammed her hooves to the side of her face, which drew everypony's attention. "Oh no! I forgot to ask you for your birthday Aether! I might have missed it."
After staring at her for a moment, I shook my head at Pinkie's randomness as I said, "Do not worry Pinkie, I do not think you missed it."
Sadly, this didn't end Pinkie's antics as she suddenly grabbed me with her hooves as she lifted me into the air. "Oh phew, so I didn't miss your birthday! Can you tell me when it is then?"
Releasing an exasperated sigh, I looked to the side as my eyes glazed over as I made the calculations to find my birthday relative to their calendar system. "My birthday is... in two months, on the sixteenth day," I said as I finished with the calculations.
"Great! That gives me oodles of time to plan your birthday party! No surprises of course since you don't like them," Pinkie said as she spun me around a few times before finally setting me down.
As I brushed off the spots on my coat where Pinkie's hooves were on, Twilight walked forward as she said, "You took a while to tell us the date, Aether. Is something wrong?"
Blinking in surprise at Twilight's acute observation, I replied, "No, nothing is wrong, just when you were alone for thirteen years..." before leaving it hanging at that. While my words caused a brief look of sorrow on Twilight's face, to my dismay I heard Pinkie gasping in shock again.
"That means you missed thirteen birthday parties!" Pinkie said. As the realization of the consequences of my little revelation struck me, Pinkie continued. "No pony should ever miss a birthday party, much less thirteen of them! But don't you worry, I'll throw you a birthday party so great that it'll be like fourteen birthday parties rolled into one and more!"
"Oh... joy," I said as I gave Pinkie a forced smile, while I dread the thought of what kind of party Pinkie will be throwing me on my birthday.