• Published 18th Oct 2020
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Changing Expectations - KKSlider



What does it mean to be a Changeling? To the former human Prince Phasma, that means doing what you can to survive and thrive in an utterly alien world.

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56- Eurydice

The office was almost as immaculate and opulent as I remembered it. From the books on the shelves to the ridiculous amount of golden gilding on every surface. The one major difference between Celestia’s office and this room was the blood.

There was quite a lot of it.

Rising up from behind the extravagant desk, I took a walk around the room. Walking was a lot easier now that I had all four legs again.

‘Given that I’m no longer on death’s door and am now in the middle of Canterlot, I must be dreaming.’

The books had titles that seemed to be simple blurs. It was as if they were never meant to be read. Much of the blood that was splattered on the walls seemed… out of place. Like they hovered just above the surface of the walls, shelves, and books. Then there was the body lying on the ground in the middle of the office. I sighed.

“Why now?”

This was all in the past. So much had happened in the hours left in that day afterwards that this was just a blip on the radar. So why was I seeing it now, in this dream?

Chamberlain Eucharis, my father, was lying in a pool of his own blood. Unmoving. Cold. Dead.

–His eye closest to me looked at me, the pupil shrinking–

No. None of this is real. I’m not here right now.”

Looking away, I pulled a book off a white ash oak shelf and watched it fall to the floor. When it hit the ground, it opened to a page somewhere around the middle of the tome. Revealed, a two-page image of Nightmare Moon starred up back at me. The demon-alicorn was posing in front of a full white moon, in stark contrast to her black fur.

“When the world needed her most, she vanished,” I quoted absentmindedly.

“We have always been where We desire to be, little prince.”

The image of the black alicorn moved as it spoke, turning its head from the side to look at me.

“Oh, so you wanted to be nothing more than a failure? To have every hope and dream of yours crushed? To abandon your allies when you lost to… teenagers?!”

“We underestimated the Element bearers. Such a mistake shall not happen again.”

“No, it won’t.”

I gripped the book with my magic and slammed it shut, before depositing it back on the shelf next to me.

The room blurred and shifted. The gold, white, and purples of the opulent study changed into the great columns, windows, and walls of the hallway before Canterlot Castle’s throne room.

Oestridae was standing before me, frozen in time. He was pointing a hoof at the entryway into the hallway. The way itself was shimmering in a green haze that I recognized as a shield spell. Around the archway, several more changelings were arrayed.

‘Cicada and the rest of the survivors…’

I reached out a hoof to Oest, hesitated, then slowly lowered it back down.

“They’re all dead. Would you like to see their last moments?”

Quiet whispers filled the room. A woosh of air behind me made me turn to see what was causing the commotion. Nightmare Moon was coalescing from gathering shadows, staring up at the only intact window in the hallway. The stained glass window depicted a simplified version of Chrysalis standing above my shattered body.

“And how would you know how they died? You’re dead yourself!”

“Once the barriers were crossed once, knowing where and how to view the waking world became a much simpler task. Luna was wrong, We yet live.”

“Regardless, there’s nothing you can offer me now. You had a chance, and you squandered it doing… what, exactly? How were you defeated? Did you gloat for too long? Gave the Elements too many chances to defeat you? Or were you just a fucking farce from the beginning?”

“You dare–”

“Why are you here, Nightmare Moon?”

“Our war is not yet lost. Not while–”

“It looks pretty fucking lost to me.”

She turned to look at me, tilting her head back as if disgusted.

“Not while you draw breath.” I flicked an ear towards her as she spoke, “you can bring us back into the waking world. Our powers are enough to defeat our foes, so long as the Elements are sidelined.”

“...”

“Not convinced? We have the skill of millennia of battle, with the power to back it. You did not succeed, due to a lack of battle expertise. Aid our return once more, and We shall undo our enemies together.”

“... I will not aid your arrival into the waking world, demon, if I still live.”

“What did We say about calling us that?! Do you have a death wish, foolish knave?!”

“You are not Nightmare Moon.”

The demon blinked and turned to face me completely. She looked the part, all right. From the hooves to the tip of her horn, the demon looked exactly like Nightmare Moon. But when she spoke? It was a bad imitation, in both the content of her words and the presence she carried. Like a paper masquerade mask, all I could see was falsehood.

“Nightmare Moon is dead, I spoke with Princess Luna herself. You are not even the Nightmare that possessed her. You are nothing but a false visage, riding on her coattails. Show yourself to me. Your real self.”

Nightmare Moon’s imposter’s form dissolved into a shadowy smoke, which dissipated moments later.

“None can comprehend such a thing. The best your little mind can do is gaze upon puppets. Facades. Representations.”

Turning around, I saw Eucharis’s body slowly lifting off of the ground. He wasn’t there last I checked, yet his corpse was rising all the same. The movements were jerky at first, like a marionette. As he rose, the movements became more fluid, eventually ending with him smiling at me.

“But idols hold far more power than anyone realizes.”

Blood was still slowly leaking from the open wound in his neck. I even caught a glimpse of the blasted out window behind him through the open hole.

“To whom am I speaking?”

“Ooh Phasma, you know who I am.”

Eucharis smiled and tilted his head to the side. His teeth were covered in blood.

“Pennywise? No, wait, he didn’t do dreams. Freddy Krueger?”

His laugh was stilted, as if he needed to get the entire ‘ha’ out before moving onto the next one, “Ha ha ha haa, you are so quick with your tongue, little prince. But you know who I am. Deep down, you knew the first moment you laid eyes on me.”

“Kennith Kennithson? I’m really at a loss here.”

The puppeted corpse strutted over to me, still smiling. He stopped right in front of my face and threw a hoof around my withers.

Personal space–”

“Since you are having such a hard time, allow me to… help you out.”

Specks of blood flew from his mouth and onto my neck as he spoke. Some also rubbed off onto my back from where his hoof was touching me.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t. In fact, how about you just… leave?”

Now, it spoke with Eucharis’s voice, “Mmmmm, Phasmaaaaa–”

“Don’t say my name like that. It's creepy.”

“– I don’t think you’re quite getting what’s going on here. You don’t have a choice. I’m going to help you reach this epiphany, and then… Oh, that would be spoilers. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“You’re just as cryptic and vague as my mother. I’m quite used to such idle threats at this point.”

“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise, my little Phasma.”

The whispers that had heralded the demon’s arrival returned once more.

‘Vague epiphany nonsense–’

The world melted away in black shadows. The colorful palette of the castle gave way to… I wasn’t sure. Grey metal?

I tried to turn to look around at my surroundings but found that I couldn’t move. I felt cold metal clamps around my body, including around my head. I sighed and my breath was visible in the air. That would explain why I felt so cold.

“Oh, I know! You’re from the IRS, here to collect on my missed taxes! I admit, that’s actually pretty spooky. I wouldn’t put it past them to transcend barriers between worlds to get what’s theirs…”

“Why is it that you are making jokes that no one else on this world would understand? Oh, don’t tell me. I’ll find out soon enough.”

'How the hell does it even understand them in the first place?'

Eucharis’s head appeared above me, looking down. Given the perspective, I concluded that I was strapped to a table.

“What did I say about being creepy?”

He smiled once again. Then, he blurred out of focus. I blinked a few times and the blur resolved itself into Chrysalis, leering down at me.

The demon spoke to me in her voice, “You’ve lost, Phasma. You tried your best and the only thing you managed to accomplish was to get all of your friends killed.”

“And this reveals your identity… how?”

“Ha ha ha ha… Would you please hold still? It makes my job so much easier.”

Chrysalis’s head pulled back and out of view. I heard hoofsteps on metal as she– the demon, I mean– walked around me and stopped near my head.

‘Cold air. Metal ceiling and floor. Table with restraints. Chrysalis near my head– Oh fuck.’

I struggled against the clamps but did not move an inch.

“The hound has the scent! Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get there in the end.”

I heard drills start up.

'No no no nonononoNO!'

“I’m the master of my dreams. I’m not here, I’m still in that river.”

I took a deep breath and imagined myself in the water. Opening my eyes, I saw only the metal ceiling. The whispers were back again, growing louder. But you can’t feel pain in a dream, let alone one you were in control of.

“I’m the m–”


My eyes were half opened. I couldn’t move them.

I could see a light-green tinted room. Across from me, several tubes and a large table lay against the walls of the curved chamber. I recognized the room.

I couldn’t move.

My head hurt. The last thing I remembered was pain. Not as much pain as I would imagine it would have felt like, but my head still hurt. It never stopped hurting. Even if I could move, I probably would have frozen up from the pain.

My chest hurt as well. My heart was beating so fast I wondered if it would burst. I still couldn’t move.

I. Just. Couldn’t. MOVE!

I tried lifting a hoof. Blinking an eye. Shutting my opened mouth. Nothing worked.

“Everyone knows me, little prince. Even if they don’t recognize me at first…”

Chrysalis had entered the room, shutting the door behind her. She walked over and stood in front of me. I couldn’t move my eyes to focus on the demon. I was trapped in my own body. I wanted to cry out, to hit the glass, to do anything!

‘This is just a nightmare. I’m not in here. I’m safe. I’m not here. I’m not here. I’m no–’

“But you are. You won’t be waking up from this. You might want to get used to this, as you’ll be here forever.”

Chrysalis grinned, baring her fangs as she did. Then, she stepped up to the glass and pressed a hoof against it.

I couldn’t breathe.

“You know what I am.”

I tried to shut my eyes. My head felt like someone took an axe to it, which probably wasn’t far from the truth.

“Say my name, and I will make your imprisonment far more pleasant. You can be anywhere but here.”

The whispers were so loud.

“Sitting in a nice, comfy chair by a fire. Home with family. A nice park. Anywhere but here. All you have to do is one small thing.”

My head wouldn’t stop pounding!

“Say. My. Name.”

‘Fear.’

The demon grinned and drew a breath.

“Begone, misbegotten shade! Thou shalt not claim another soul!”

The opposite side of the room was ripped apart in a light blue vortex. The demon wearing Chrysalis's face looked actually scared, before it turned into a mass of shadows and lunged at me. Outreached tendrils penetrated the glass barrier as if it did not exist. However, before the closest inky-black appendage could even touch me, a blast of blue cut straight through the monster.

It screamed with a thousand voices as the beam ripped it apart. As it died, so did the whispers that had filled my mind. The beam continued on to hit me through it, but I felt nothing.

‘Nothing?’

The headache was gone. It was no longer a challenge to even think straight anymore.

“Thy kind may hath flourished under negligence, but no more!”

As the shadow was ripped apart into nothingness, a pony slowly walked across the room. It was one I recognized, one I had seen once before. I recognized the voice, too.

“Not a moment too soon. Fret not, our little pony, this nightmare… Is…”

I blinked.

The glass tube shattered, spilling me and the green fluid across the floor. I tumbled to a halt at Princess Luna’s hooves and started coughing up the translucent liquid that had filled my lungs.

“Prince… Phasma? Is that truly thee?” She spoke with a softer, almost wavering voice.

I on the other hoof, curled up and tried to forget the pain.

“Thou art alive?” Her voice was quiet now, at normal speaking levels.

The sheer strength and power she had entered with, she had left behind. I heard a thump as she sat down in front of me. Then, she picked me up with her magic and embraced me. I was shivering, but I wasn’t cold.

“I couldn’t move. My head hurt so much. My chest still does,” I said under my breath. Since I was right next to Luna’s ear, she heard me anyways.

“Thou survived a Nightmare’s torture with thy psyche intact. ‘Tis the greatest victory one can hope to achieve against such a malevolent foe.”

“They say defeat tastes like ash, but that’s what victory tasted like. Defeat tastes like blood,” I whispered.

“Sister showed us thy peytral… We thought thee perished in thy fight against thy forebearer.”

“I nearly did. I nearly… ended up in here…”

I thought about what Luna said. Despite everything I had gone through, I realized that what she said didn’t really make sense.

“Peytral? How did you see it? You were put in– I put you in a pod.”

“The invasion was turned back and We were freed,” Luna replied, still gripping me.

“Huh?”

“Our sister… We were not strong enough at the time. We could not save her. From afar, We witnessed her suffering in the Dreamscape. She… A nightmare… We failed her. Once again, we failed our sister.”

“That doesn’t explain…”

“Celestia was possessed by a nightmare. Now, the monster known as Daybreaker has turned the tide of thy invasion. But thou art here. Thou art alive! We… We thought all was lost, but this is not so!”

She pulled back from the hug but still held me up with her hooves. Which was a good thing because if she let go, I would have likely fell back and onto the floor. The broken glass crunched underneath her as she shifted around, but she did not notice the shards.

“Tell us where the Elements of Harmony are, so that We may make right the cataclysm that hath befallen us all. If we were to obtain them once again, convincing the bearers to use their magic once again shalt be an easier endeavor!”

I was still shivering. I was also so very tired.

“Elements?”

“Thou hid them.”

“Oh. I did.”

“Their whereabouts?”

“Aren’t we… enemies?”

“No.”

“Oh. In the base of Celestia’s statue, at the front of the castle.”

I blinked in surprise.

‘No wait, we are enemies. I just told an enemy where the most powerful weapon in existence is.’

“We cannot thank thee enough!”

She pulled me in once more, nuzzling my neck.

‘... On second thought, this Daybreaker is defeating the changelings. Celestia could not. If Celestia was purified, or whatever the Elements do, then… uh… we can... fight again?’

“You… saved my life?”

“Thou just noticed? “

“I defeated and imprisoned you, and yet you… saved me.”

“Of course.”

“But I…”

“Thou fought for thy ponies. None can cast blame upon thee for such righteousness. Now, thou will work to bridge the gap between our kingdoms.”

I was too tired to translate what she said.

“What?”

“Thou will fix the problems thou helped create. There can be peace between us yet, if thou trust us.”

“Trust?” I echoed.

“Thou will get nowhere without it. ‘Tis the cornerstone of any relationship, be it alliance or courtship. Thou needs to trust us wholly.”

“You want me to... turn myself in?”

“That would be a wise first step, though We would understand if thou stay thy hoof until Celestia returns to us.”

“Turn myself in, to the people I invaded? Barged into their homes? Forever changed their lives for the worse?”

“We will help and protect thee against retaliation, should thou make recompense.”

I wanted to stop thinking about this. I wanted to just sit here and fall asleep.

‘Is it even possible to fall asleep in a dream?’

“I’m tired Luna. Tired of worrying if I’ll see tomorrow. Tired of worrying about making the wrong choices. Tired of failing. My friends are dead and it’s all my fault. I let them down. I’m just a broken… I don’t even know what I am anymore. Now you tell me the war is still going on? My species was on the brink of starvation, of extinction. Now, we’re losing a war for our survival? I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

“We can convince what has taken hold of our sister to stay her hoof as much as possible; We can convince the Nightmare to spare any prisoners taken. We hold that much sway over her, though not much more. Trust us, Phasma, and we can reach a future where we all make it out in the end.”

“That sounds nice,” I said, avoiding arguing with her.

But she persisted, “If there is a figure of authority to which your changelings can defect to and for us to cooperate with, then such a goal is within our grasp. Tell us where thou art.”

‘We’re really going to argue this?’

“You want me to put my life in your hooves? After everything I’ve been through and everything I’ve done? I… I trust you. But the rest of your ponies? I’ve done everything to burn bridges with them. Not to mention the fact that I can’t put the lives of my lings in the hooves of another. How could I just neglect them like that? It’s my duty to ensure their survival, not entrust it to another. I have to fight for them. No one else will...”

Luna was quiet as she thought on what to say.

“Start small. Thou hath already done a grand gesture with the Elements. We shall work on our end to even it out.”

“Please don’t tell Daybreaker that I’m alive.”

“Why?”

“Because neither side of this war knows that I’m alive, and the moment they do, both will want to kill me.”

“We doubt that We can convince the monster infesting our sister to be merciful without an opposing party to parley.”

“Please?” I begged. I rested my head on her shoulder, too tired to hold it up.

“.... Very well. We will not speak of thy survival, but do not be surprised when she ignores our plea for kindness.”

I decided to change the subject.

“... Why did it take you so long to enter my dream?”

“Our power is still returning to us. We also have much work to be done, both in the waking world and in the Dreamscape. This is all before the fact that We had assumed thou had perished. We are thankful beyond words that this is not so."

"I'm also glad I'm not dead, or worse."

I glanced at the tubes still around the walls. Most were broken by the vortex, but others were still intact.

'Not in the waking world. I ended their suffering days ago.'

"We shall speak again soon; thou art awakening once more.”

"I'd rather stay with you. I can't take any more of this."

"'Tis always darkest before the dawn. Thou knows this. Fret not, We shall accompany thee and protect thee from Nightmares here on out."

I was still exhausted, but at least the pain in my chest was gone.


I opened my eyes to a grey sub ceiling.

There was a soft beeping at my right side. As my ears flicked to the noise of the machines, I heard muted crinkling in my left ear. I imagined there was padding tapped to it, on account of a burst eardrum or similar injury.

A set of machines were there by my side, full of dials, knobs, and buttons. No displays though. It took me a moment to remember that electricity has not been invented yet and that those machines ran on magic. A blood bag hung from a pole next to them. There was a tube running from it to my right shoulder.

Looking down, I saw that I was laying on my back on a bed with a blue sheet pulled over me. It took a moment to remember that I was disguised as a pony with brown fur. The stump that used to be my right foreleg was wrapped in gauze. My left fetlock was wrapped too, though in a much thinner layer. There were likely more bandages and wrappings on my body, but I couldn’t feel them.

I felt strange. A slight warmth was permeating throughout my body, numbing all pains but one. My stomach was twisted in on itself in hunger. I was thankful that I managed to disguise at all; I doubted I had any energy left to even alter my disguise.

On my left, a closed window sat. The curtains were drawn to the side and the blinds lowered. Between them, sunlight entered. Outside, I could see a pony market. Ponies were cheerfully greeting each other. Some were hauling carts full of produce. I didn’t know where I was– most likely in a hospital, but one thing was clear.

No more nightmares. No more wolves. No more desperate fights.

I was alive. I was safe.

As safe as a disguised rogue prince surrounded by potential enemies could be.

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