//------------------------------// // 72- Ambrosia // Story: Changing Expectations // by KKSlider //------------------------------// “It’s not your fault,” Thorax croaked. His voice was rough from, well… “An officer is responsible for the actions of his soldiers. I… I let him stay. It’s my fault.” “I know you, Phas. I know Oest, too. Whatever he did, it was his own choice.” “But I–” Luna spoke up, “If you place blame upon yourself for the death of every subordinate, you will only find an early grave.” I sighed and looked away. This was not an argument I could ever win. It’s also not one I probably should win. Luna however had no intention of letting this go. She moved into my line of sight despite me looking away. “Phasma. I can see that we can not move forward without looking back to the past. Tell us exactly what happened.” “I… Alright, fine. After we escaped the ambush at the front foyer of Castle Canterlot, I ordered the survivors that stayed to hold off the Praetorians loyal to Chrysalis.” “Praetorians?” Luna asked. “I renamed the changeling Royal Guard to that to avoid confusion with the Equestrian Royal Guard.” “Ah. Do continue.” I really didn’t want to continue, but I did. “So I had ordered the survivors to stay behind. There was simply no way we could defeat both Chrysalis and her minions at the same time. Oestridae said he would stay behind, too. I tried to argue but he wasn’t having it, so I allowed him to stay. Then we said… not goodbye, but a ‘see you soon.’ Then I left and never saw him again.” “So what you are saying is that you are blaming yourself for this Oestridae’s last stand, despite it not being your decision?” Luna asked. “An officer is–” “Oh do not start that again.” “Luna–” “Luna is right, Phas. It sounds like Oest went out in exactly the way he would have wanted to. He didn’t die for nothing, nor did you order him to die. He gave his life for a chance. That’s what we all did, right? We’re all working for a chance for a better future? There’s no way to be sure that we can make it, but we’ll all die trying.” “It is true that you are responsible for those under you, but it is also true that sometimes you must send them to their potential deaths. That is one of the consequences of being a leader.” “Yet I’m the one to live, after he succeeded and I failed? How can… This is all…” “You’re suffering from Survivor’s Guilt, Phas. No one blames you for not defeating your mother. She’s got centuries of experience on you, in addition to a literal army behind her. Oest wouldn’t blame you. I know he wouldn’t.” I opened my mouth, then closed it. There was simply nothing I could say. “We ask you to think about what your friend Thorax has said. In time, you shall find peace with the death of your friends. For now, let us move on to the unexpected good news Thorax here possesses.” “Huh? Oh! The solution to the feeding problem! I found a way to gather love far, far easier and at least ten times more than our traditional Infiltrators can!” I let go of Thorax and scooted back. Then I nodded to him to signal for him to continue. “It turns out that… uh… Hey you’re not going to be mad at me for this, right?” “Why would I be mad at you?” “Well you see… I may have broken the Masquerade Protocol before the invasion happened…” “... You were never a good Infiltrator. What does this have to do with harvesting love?” “So you know how an Infiltrator traditionally harvests love?” “Essentially flings, right?” “Right. For obvious reasons, we avoid the long term stuff. We know that the long term love is more potent but due to the Masquerade Protocol we’ve had to avoid long term identities for our Infiltrators. I think Tarsus said at one point that there have been notable exceptions in the past, but those operators were considered the best of the best so the risk was allowed.” “Long term love… You made a bond with a pony and kept it?” “More than that. As it turns out, potency of love also has to do with intent. Or rather, direction.” Thorax nervously tapped his hooves together as he watched for my reaction. “Direction?” “Yeah. To whom the love is directed towards.” “... A pony is in love with you, Thorax? Not a disguise?” He slowly nodded. “... Oh. That’s extremely convenient.” “You’re not mad? Or even surprised?” I glanced at Luna. She was smiling. “I can’t exactly blame you for breaking the Masquerade Protocol when I did that with Nightmare Moon. I am surprised, but not… completely so. What you said makes sense. The idea that changelings can be loved by ponies would be scoffed at within the Fourth Hive, and if it was even discovered in the past it could have been easily lost to time, or the transition between the four Hives. I am very happy to hear that this discovery is so fitting and well, I’ll just say it, it’s practically a Deus Ex Machina.” “... Huh?” I chuckled, “Luna and I are in love.” “Oh? Oh! You two are together?!” I nodded. “Ohmigosh!” Thorax chirped– ‘Didn’t know we could do that,’– and this time he hugged me. “I’m so happy for you, Phas! You definitely deserve some happiness after what you’ve been through! Oh, if only the rest of the Fang were here. We’d… We’d all be happy for you, Phas.” “Oest knew.” “He did? When did you tell him? And what was his reaction?” “After Luna and I fought. He approved, to quote, ‘even if she is the wrong species.’” “Ever the greatest of us all.” He let go of me and his eyes darted between the two of us. “When did your relationship start?” “... Thorax, your tail is wagging.” “Is it? Oh, Hahahaha! Well, who you may end up with– if you even ended up with anyling at all– may have been a conversation the rest of us in the Fang have had several times. Coxa had bet that you would avoid any of this for at least a lifetime. Lace, err, I shouldn’t say. She would have wanted her bet to be kept secret, more or less. So when did this start?” “Sometime during meetings between Nightmare Moon and myself.” “We had grown fond of Prince Phasma rather quickly. The Nightmare was fascinated by Phasma’s willingness to do vile and dishonorable acts that nearly everypony else would shy away from, and I was absolutely enthralled in the opportunity to be with somepony so much like myself. Fertile grounds for a spark of love, as it became apparent.” I got up off Thorax’s couch and went over to give Luna a nuzzle. Her smile widened as I did so. “I can’t exactly say when it happened for me. There was always something so exciting about talking with Nightmare. Dangerous, possibly foolish, and thrilling. Despite the rare death threat, I had found myself actually enjoying our meetings to an extent. Coxa was right, though. If Nightmare Moon hadn’t made the first move, I certainly never would have.” “And I am thankful that at least some good has come from that dark chapter in my life.” “Ohmigosh you two are so cute together! If only the First Fang were here to see you two… No, we shouldn’t think about that.” “No, we probably shouldn’t. Who is the pony that fell in love with you, Thorax?” “Oh! This is actually his apartment over in Manehattan. He let me stay at his place while, uh, while the whole invasion thing happened. He’s still in Manehattan even though I left. Still has things to do before he can pack up and leave.” “He? What’s his name?” “Double Diamond. I think you two would get along, as I remember the first thing you said when we met was that you wanted to go skiing, right? He’s a huge fan of skiing and was planning on leaving Manehattan to go up north to where it would be easier for him to do his hobby.” “That sounds… nice? Yeah, that sounds nice. I would like to try Equestrian Skiing and be a normal person… for just a day. Then I’ll want to go back to being a handsome Prince on the run from the law. So how did you two meet?” “I was over in New Horseleans, traveling north. Diamond was there to visit some family. We met in this thing the ponies call a jazz club. It was nice and quiet and there were these really nice beanbag chairs that you could just melt into and I’m getting off track so anyways met in this club and started talking. Diamond said I didn’t look like a local, which at the time kinda scared me so I tried backing out of the conversation. He sensed that I wasn’t exactly the outgoing type and asked if we wanted to go somewhere else. Diamond suggested a nearby coffee shop. I said I never tried coffee and so he insisted on us going. One thing led to another and now we’re together. Since I wasn't tied down in New Horseleans, I went with him back to his place at Manehattan. I did a few oddjobs that he pointed out for bits, but mostly I've just been hanging out with him.” “That’s very sweet, Thorax. It sounds very romantic.” “Compared to literally meeting your special someone in your dreams?” “She had to threaten to kill me a few times before I got the message to stick close to her.” “Should I apologize for those remarks?” “No Luna, you’re good. I have to ask, Thorax. How did you reveal your changeling self to Diamond?” “It sorta happened days before the invasion. I tried to nonchalantly advice him to stick close to me during the Summer Sun celebration. At first he thought it was because I wanted to spend the day with him. Don’t get me wrong, I did, but… He easily saw through me and noticed that I was scared.” Thorax shuffled his hooves nervously. “I never was cut out for the whole Infiltrator thing as you said. I can’t imagine having to mask your emotions and reactions all the time. Being scared of the Summer Sun celebration was a red flag, to put it bluntly. I begged him not to tell anyone once the secret was out, and Panar bless him, he listened. Then once the invasion happened, he was kinda mad at me for not telling him Equestria was in danger. Then, uh… I guess he realized that I was just as afraid as him? Or something? I dunno. “Once I explained that the invasion was so that we didn’t starve to death, he stopped being as angry. We went out for coffee again, just like when we first met. I might be addicted to the stuff now… Anyways, we started talking– quietly, and far from the other customers– about what changelings are and how life is like back at the Hive. Diamond gets it, you know? He understands that we had our flanks up against a wall, nowhere to go but forward. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone so understanding, but I’m taking the miracle and running with it.” “See Phasma? Our ponies can be tolerant and understanding when they want to.” “Yeah, when they want to. I’m not going to put the fate of my species in the hooves of those who can just as easily condemn us to death. But finally, we have a solution to the food crises. You said that love is more potent when they are giving it to the changeling, not the disguise?” “Mhmm.” “Okay. That’s good. We can work with that. It’s not like the Masquerade is going to unbreak itself anyways.” Luna stood up, “That is very good indeed. You two shall work together to get your hooves back underneath yourselves. Meanwhile, I shall work on recruiting the Elements’ loyalty. Gentleponies, we have our heading. Soon enough, we shall end this landslide of a catastrophe for good, and bring our species together for the first time in history. The night is drawing to an end, so let us depart.” “See you soon Thorax.” “You too, Phas.” I pulled Luna close and moved us back into my original dream. The movement was quick. One second we were in the cramped apartment, the next we were in a bubble surrounded by orange clouds– which contrasted to the blueish purple ones that surrounded us when Luna traveled, and then finally we were back in the cozy parlor. “Okay. Steady as she goes, then?” “Indeed. Progress is frustratingly slow, but there is progress, and now we have the means to defeat the problem that spawned this whole debacle. It may be a bit… complicated to introduce, but it can still be introduced all the same.” “Are we meeting again tomorrow night?” “Hmm… Yes, we shall. Tomorrow, I shall take you to see Cadence once again, so that you two may finish your introductions.” “You still owe me a story, too.” “I have not forgotten. However, I would like to use the night after next to introduce this old method of clandestine meetings to Twilight Sparkle, so that I might once again work to endear ourselves and our goal to her. Let us hope that Daybreaker’s attempt to isolate her shall work in our favor.” “Yeah you get to that, I’ll get back to slowly robbing the town’s guard by convincing them to siphon off bits into my account once every two weeks.” “That would be a job.” “Yes, thank you for explaining the joke.”