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// (8-1) Giving It A Chance 
// Story: The Ruler of Ponies and Men 
// by Boopy Doopy 
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The next time I woke up, the room I was in looked like it was melting away. The bed I was in was physically melting apart and sinking into the floor, as well as everything else around me. It wasn’t scary, feeling like something that was supposed to happen, and before long, the same thing started to happen to me, my hooves and body breaking apart and joining the rest of what was around me. As I melted, I felt the room getting smaller, forcing itself upon me, to the view of the large screen that held the outside world. It was a little bit claustrophobic, but eventually, I was out in the world again and controlling the limbs to our body.
I was sitting at a table in the dining hall with Radiant Hope who was telling me about something, something I didn’t pay particular attention to. I looked around for a moment before closing my eyes to try to get back to sleeping, but found myself unable to. As well, I felt heavier, like there was more weight on my shoulders from a heavier load.
“Sombra?” I asked aloud, not caring about how I looked to the mare next to me. “Where are you?” Immediately after I asked, I rolled my eyes, realizing what was going on.
“Oh yeah, I am Sombra. I remember now,” I said, unable to do more than sigh in annoyance and put my chin on my hoof.
“Alex?” Hope asked suddenly, looking at me confused. “Is that you?”
“The one and only,” I responded flatly before stretching out my hooves to yawn. “I guess it’s been three days already? I wish I hadn’t woken myself up in the middle of it, but it was a nice reprieve.”
“So you’re back now then?” she asked, looking disappointed, which annoyed me a little bit. “Where’s Sombra?”
“It’s how it was before,” I told her. “I’m both at the same time again, which is… I don’t know. But the feeling of… internal conflict is back again.”
“I’m sorry…” she responded sympathetically, petting my hoof. “Maybe you could talk to Starlight again?”
“That’s probably what I’ll have to do, since I’d rather not see you like this. I know Alex doesn’t like you, but… ugh, I don’t know. It’s only been a minute, but it feels like this is the way I’m supposed to be, tied to Sombra like this instead of being on my own and sharing a body with him. Well, not excatly 'the way it's supposed to be', but it still feels like a natural connection.”
“But you just said-”
“I know, and it’s true, and it’s absolutely horrible. I hate every second of it, let me tell you that. But it also keeps me from being alone. I don’t know. I’ll need to do more experimentation. But at least like this, I don’t think about myself as much, as much as I hate it. I’ll have to get with Starlight and see how fronting the whole time is, and I’ll- well, I as Sombra I mean- will take a back seat this time. I don’t know how much each of us will front though, but Alex will take the majority. I want to see how it feels. I don’t think sleeping my life away inside my head is a viable option though.”
“No, I don’t think it is,” Hope chuckled. “But, um, I know you said you don’t want to be alone, but like I told you before, I’ll be your friend, so you won’t be alone. I mean, I’d still like to see Sombra though, cause he’s my best friend, but I’ll be your friend whenever you're out, Alex. You seem like a nice pony to me. Plus, Fluttershy is your friend, so you have her, too. That's two ponies.”
“Thank you, Hope, I do appreciate that. It makes me feel better…” I trailed off and sighed, continuing, “I just don’t want this all to have been for no reason.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want to have cast that spell on myself for nothing, and I don’t want my creation to have been for nothing. I just- I want there to be some sort of meaning for why this happened to me, for why I did this to myself.”
“Well, you’re here now, so that has meaning. You’re the Ruler of Equestria, you’re mending fences with other ponies. That all gives it meaning, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, but… ugh, never mind. I’m just feeling bad about myself…”
“And thinking over my options,” I silently added. “I can’t tell if anything’s changing yet, but I do still have that spell in my back pocket if need be, but… ugh. I’d really rather not use that. That’s too risky, and I really can’t stand the thought of my life being completely meaningless. That’s even worse than it not being real. At least right now there’s a point to what happened, but… ugh. I can’t stand this at all.”
“Give it some time, please Alex… Sombra?” Hope told me, as though reading my mind. “Just give it some time. I know you’re feeling bad about yourself, but like I’ve said before, you’ve been looking better, especially, um… these- these last few days…” As she said it, she blushed, and I half smiled and half cringed in disgust as the thought came to mind. 
“Uh, yeah… anyway, where’s Starlight?” I asked, changing the subject. “I do want to see what it’s like if I’m in front by myself for the whole time.”



“Are you ready, Alex?” Starlight asked as I stood in front of her, this time only Hope and I being in her presence. “I can get started whenever you want me to.”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” I responded, “but if you want to, this time you can keep the spell going for longer. Say a week, maybe?”
“I can do that, no problem at all! Just hold still for me.”
I did as she requested, standing stock still and closing my eyes once again. I didn’t feel anything happening, but just a few seconds later she was telling me that she was done. I opened my eyes again and looked around, expecting something to change, but seeing and feeling nothing more than myself become lighter again.
“Is that it?” I asked. “Did you do it?”
“Of course, she did it,” Sombra whispered in my ear, making me flinch and turn around before remembering he was now in our head. “That’s why you feel lighter again, although you don’t seem to feel as much joy from it as I do.”
“No, I don’t,” I responded aloud, “and I… I don’t know why. This… it doesn’t feel correct.”
“I can fix you back if you want me to, Alex,” Starlight broke in. “It’s no trouble. Just say the word.”
“It just doesn’t feel right because you’ve been asleep for so long,” Sombra said. He didn’t sound callous or angry or like he was trying to persuade me. It sounded like he was speaking genuinely, sincerely, which was a bit weird and was different from how I imagined.
“Just give it time,” he told me. “This feels better for us… well, at least for me, anyway. Being like this feels like the way it should be. Naturally, I’d like to be separated from you entirely, but seeing as that isn’t an option-”
“I don’t know,” I interrupted, speaking in my head as I frowned. “I feel… I feel angry and bitter and sad, and it’s just so much more intense right now. I feel like I want to scream and put my hoof right through Cadance’s face… and yours, cause this is your fault, too.”
“Yes, it is, and I’m sorry for that. I will admit this mess we’re in is partially my fault, but I assure you, aside from complete separation, this is the best solution to both of our problems.”
“Is it for me, or is it for you? This benefits you much more than it does me, because you’ve committed crimes, crimes they can’t punish you for if you’re stuck with me. And like this, you’d have complete freedom to do what you want without having to deal with what you’ve done.”
“That would be true, but I’ve already told that trio of alicorns where that witch of a princess Amore’s pieces are in exchange for being pardoned for my retaliation to their crimes. I don’t gain from this any more than you.”
“I…” I paused at that thought, sitting on my haunches on the floor and closing my eyes so I could stand face to face with Sombra. He didn’t quite have the evil look he had in the show, instead wearing an almost soft expression, like a concerned friend. It was honestly strange to see, but it did make me feel better.
“I don’t know,” I told him. “This doesn’t feel right. It just… it’s making me angry to think about.”
“How can this possibly not be right?” he asked. “We’re both better off this way. We both have freedom this way. How can it not be right?”
“Because I- ugh! I can’t describe it correctly, but… being like this… it just makes me as frustrated and angry as I was the whole time when I thought that my life was real. Being on my own pisses me off because it just reminds me of everything that I went through since I've been in Equestria. When I’m combined with you, it’s so much easier to ignore because you take up half of my personality. Even given the issues that brings, mainly with Hope, it still feels better being like that, as strange as it is to say.”
“Except for the unease, and the feeling that we’re losing ourselves- that’s the feelings we get when we’re stuck together. As hard as it is to admit, I know that you’re the more dominant of the two of us at this point, if only slightly. Because of that, I have to struggle to assert myself and make sure that I don’t lose myself completely. It’s not a good feeling, and it makes me nervous because of how much you assert yourself when we're like that. It makes me feel like I’m slipping away, like I'm on the edge of losing myself. I know you've felt it, too, seeing as we've expressed as much to Hope before. That's why we were looking for that spell to begin with.”
“Yeah, well… that’s coming from the pony who did this to me anyway, so…”
“Give this a chance. At least just give this a chance. Being separated from you is vastly superior to staying combined as one being.”
“I feel like it won’t matter either way,” I told him, starting to feel depressed, “so what’s the point? I might as well just use that spell right now, as much as I don’t like the idea of going that route…”
“Just give it a chance. I assure you, this is better for both of us. You’re writing it off without seeing how much better for you this will be for you, for both of us. You know, your negative attitude brings us down? I can feel the depression you emanate. Your essence is strong, almost overwhelmingly so, and it rubs itself off on me.”
“Oh yeah, because I have so many reasons to be happy. Not to mention, part of that negativity stems from you. Just as much as you take from me, you give back.”
“Just give it a chance. That’s all I ask. Give it a chance.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes, simply answering, “Okay, I’ll give it a chance. I’m not sure why you’re even trying to convince me of this, but whatever. I’ll see how it feels. I wasn’t planning on doing anything anyway.”
“It’s not like you deserve it, though,” I silently thought to myself before heading back out into the world.