69- Nice
“Are you alright Phasma?”
Luna was standing next to me as I sat in front of the fireplace in the parlor.
“As much as I tell myself otherwise, no I am not.”
She sat down next to me and wrapped a wing around me. That was an ability I was slightly jealous of. Changeling wings were both too fragile and couldn’t keep heat in, so such an action is both impossible and pointless. Pegasus wings were just far more comfy.
I leaned into her and breathed deeply.
“I don’t know if any of my friends are still alive.”
“You will find them. Harmony always finds a way.”
“So does evil.”
She gave me a sideways glance.
“Yes, unfortunately. That is part of Harmony. Without the darkness, there cannot be light. So as much as we fight the eternal war against the malevolent, it is a futile endeavor. Still, we must fight on.”
“If not us, then who?’
“Who indeed. That’s why we are paid the big bits and live in fancy castles.”
“I’m broke, butchered, and living in a small apartment.”
“As soon as Daybreaker is cleansed and my sister is finally returned to her rightful place on the throne, you may stay in Canterlot Castle. In fact, you could stay with me.”
“You got a spare couch or something?”
Luna chuckled and we leaned into each other, watching the fire.
“Would you like to discuss the dynamics of Equus’s solar system?”
“... Not today. That’s a headache that can happen another night.”
“Very well. What would you like to do then?”
I sighed and pressed my head against her neck.
“What hobbies do you have? Or had?”
“Oh. A more accurate question would be, 'hobbies did I not have?' Throughout the many years of ruling, Celestia and I had picked up and dropped nearly every hobby under the sky. Painting, cooking, gardening, fencing, glassblowing, writing, wood carving, and so on.”
“Quite the repertoire of activities.”
“When you have no consistent company but your sister, you learn to branch out.”
“Hmm.”
“What about you? What hobbies did you have?”
“Not many in this life, though hopefully that will change…. At some point. But I used to play games, write, ski, and… well not much else. Mostly the first two.”
“Tell me a story.”
“I was going to ask you that.”
“We shall take turns then. Regale me with a tale you know of or preferably experienced firsthoof, and I shall return the favor.”
“There was that one time that the First Fang got our hooves on alcohol…”
“First Fang?”
“It was me and my closest friends. My only friends, really. Coxa, Thorax, Tarsus, Oest, Lace, and myself. But anyways, back in the hive alcohol is a real rarity. It’s a waste of resources to let things rot and ferment, you see? Some stuff they called Sprout. Now, I didn’t have any because… some reason. Think I had work afterwards. But the rest of ‘em got sloshed! Thorax didn’t as well, he’s as boring as me, but ooh boy! You learn some things when people get drunk.
“Oest as it turned out was pitch perfect. He rarely ever spoke so you wouldn’t think, but when I told him the lyrics to an old song I knew, he hit every note perfectly! Picture this: a changeling– or pony, if you’d prefer– built like a brick shithouse. Super reserved and quiet, of course. But when he sings? I was afraid that the vibrations would alert other changelings of our shenanigans! He could hit every note of the song! All of ‘em, high and low! A choir of one!
“Coxa of course was getting jealous. So in his infinite genius, he suggested a sing off. Lace and Tarsus agreed. Four drunk changelings all claiming to have a better singing voice than the other, despite the obvious winner. They made Thorax and I the judges and let me tell you, they couldn’t sing if their lives depended on it. But of course, one round wasn’t enough. Oh no, there had to be a best of three!
“Anyways, when Oest won– because of course he did– he started giggling like a mad ling. Then he did this sort of jig, I can’t describe it, but because he was drunk he tripped over his own hooves and fell forward, accidentally knocking into Coxa and Lacewing. They tried to get out from underneath him but they were trapped under his weight! That’s when we all started laughing!”
I laughed at my own story and Luna joined me. It was a nice story. I liked it. But it reminded me of where I was. What I had been through.
My laughter died away.
“... Then I ordered Oest to die. He did it without hesitation. Hell, I think he was happy to do it. You know what the last thing he said to me was? When I said goodbye to him, he told me that I hated goodbyes. He said ‘till we meet again, brother.’”
It was hard to breathe. My eyes hurt from all the dust in the dream.
“It’s crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. How does losing a brother hurt more than dying?”
Luna held me tight.
Life moves on. That was the worst part about it. For some, it ends. For the rest, it doesn't.
“Lots of ponies staring at me.”
“You were on the front page not too long ago, remember?”
“I distinctly recall not having my picture taken.”
“Well sure,” Search said, “but your story was.”
I felt confined in the dull grey boxy armor that had given me. I wasn’t going to actually be fit for a real set, so they just gave me a spare set that almost fit. Almost. It was too small. Nothing like my old Adamantium peytral.
Some ponies waved as we walked past. I gave a fake smile and nodded to them, as was expected of me. When I looked away, my face returned to its normal sour expression.
“I don’t like the attention.”
“I’m afraid there’s not going to be much help in that regard. I am sorry to be the one to say this, but ponies will be noticing you wherever you go. Having one of your legs be entirely metal does that.”
I grunted in reply.
“Some pony should tell ‘em it’s rude to stare.”
“Somepony should,” Dew agreed.
Bray punched me lightly in the foreleg. I didn’t feel it, as that leg was made of metal. Strange how that works.
“Cheer up, Sky! They just want to see the stallion who took on an entire pack of Dire Wolves and lived to tell the tale!”
“Do they want to take a picture with me, too?”
“Do you see any fancy shmancy unicorns around here? Any of ‘em carrying several-hundred-bit equipment?” Dew asked.
“What was that about unicorns?” Bray asked.
“Poor phrasing. You know what I mean.”
“... I’ll let it slide.”
“Are cameras not commonplace around here? I saw quite a few up in Canterlot,” I lied.
“A decent model can cost several hundred bits.”
“Oh.”
Sergeant Search brought the team to a halt.
“Quiet day today,” he muttered.
It was my first day on patrol. I was to stay close to any one of the three members, preferably Bray, like I was attached by a two hoof long umbilical cord. Search had said that I had studied enough and was due for some on the job experience.
“Hmm, this place looks oddly familiar.”
We were near the bridge in the middle of town. It was the very bridge I had seen before nearly dying of blood loss.
“Nah, must be nothing.”
Dew leaned over the railing and looked out over the river. Search wiped his forehead with his fetlock. It sure was hot out today. And bright. I didn’t exactly get much rest last night so the bright summer sun was starting to hurt my eyes. Luna promised to share her story later, and instead we just sat together, in quiet.
It was… good. It was needed. That’s the word, needed.
When I woke up thanks to that damned alarm and got ready for work, Bray had commented how I looked like shit. She said it more tactfully, but she still said it. I told her I had a sleepless night which earned me some pity points.
“Could really use a pair of sunglasses right about now.”
“Let’s get out of the sun for a bit, then resume the patrol.”
If this is what I was going to have to get used to every day, I was going to be miserable. If it weren't for the protective coverings between the prosthetic and my arm and between my armor and myself, I was sure that I would be boiled alive. Instead, I was merely frying to death. An upgrade, I hoped.
I squinted hard as we turned towards the sun and started walking down the street. As we walked, I thought about the future.
‘So… let’s say Luna manages to get Celestia back. I could probably just reveal myself immediately. Work with these ponies to figure something out… Maybe a rotation of volunteers to be podded? Or… Hmm… Definitely get whatever remains of the Hive’s Finest to research different love harvesting methods. Specifically, the ones not done previously. Those were straight-up torture.’
The Sergeant opened a glass door and entered inside the building. We followed as I continued to brainstorm.
‘Figure that out later. Let’s just say cooperation works. I’ll need to order the abandoning of the hive and make a new secure hive closer to Equestria, preferably close to Canterlot. The closer I am to Luna, the better… There were those Crystal Caves. If I could get something going in there, that would be for the best.’
Dew, Bray, and Search all took off their helmets and let their manes hang free. They were damp from sweat. I nearly took my helmet off for the slight relief before I remembered my cover story. Right now, we were waiting in line for something. Search had mentioned wanting to drink something cold, so it was likely he led us to somewhere with drinks. The nonalcoholic kind, of course. And given that these were ponies, I half expected milkshakes or something.
‘In these modern times, I’ll need to secure some way of maintaining political autonomy. No way in hell I’ll let the changelings become a vassal state of Equestria. Really, that just means I need a source of income. A nationalized industry to fund the hive. What can changelings offer that Equestrians need?’
Search nodded towards a square table with four chairs and I followed Bray and Dew as we went and sat down. Apparently, Search was going to order for us.
‘Shapeshifting, of course. Emotion sensing as well. What practical applications do these have? Emotion sensing would be helpful for psychology I suppose, but that would take a long time to set up. Getting doctorates is not exactly a quick task. Still, that’s an idea to keep note of. Shapeshifting could have many uses… I doubt the Equestrians will appreciate us taking their form, so anything disguise related is probably out. Espionage would be the one exception to that, if Luna wants us for that. I’m sure Princess Celestia had her own espionage network.’
I half-noticed Search sitting down at our table. The ponies started quietly chatting with one another.
“Hey Sky.”
“Bray.”
‘The fact that I’ve heard nothing about it means it’s either really good or nonexistent. On one hoof, she is the supreme ruler of the most powerful nation in existence and would most certainly keep tabs on other nations. On the other, she’s a pony.’
“Whatcha doing?”
“Thinking.”
‘What other applications does shapeshifting hold? I suppose that if I don’t come up with any, I could just ask any loyal changelings. Get ideas from them. Speaking of, I’ll need to reform the hive. Absolute rule is fine and dandy, but the less paperwork I have to do, the better. Getting some sort of constitution in place is a pretty good idea, even if that paradoxically means more paperwork.’
“Whatcha thinking about?”
“Stuff.”
‘Would changelings even accept a constitution? They are so heavily monarchist that they would never accept a republic. Not this generation, at least. Considering I am a physical royal too, I don’t think those monarchist tendencies will dissipate over time. Due to the Weave, they might be naturally inclined to stick around royal breeds. A constitutional monarchy would be very easy to implement. I could make some sort of court system to eliminate that duty from my potentially packed schedule. A lawmaking body wouldn’t quite work. Maybe disband the Praetorians and create my own guard to act as a special bodyguard. I doubt that I can fully remove their loyalty to the Queen once I depose her.’
“What kind of stuff?”
“Things and stuff.”
“You’re avoiding answering me.”
“That was because I was thinking. Now I’m not. What’s up?”
“Do you like vanilla?”
“Vanilla?”
“Vanilla.”
“Uh, sure.”
“Great!”
“... Vanilla what?’
“Ice cream! Why else would we go to an ice cream parlor?”
“Is that where we are?”
I cast a look around. Sure enough, we were in an ice cream shop.
“How did… what exactly were you thinking of that was so engrossing that you completely zoned out?”
“I was thinking about…. Where I will be in the future.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting. Where do you see yourself?”
“Probably Canterlot.”
She scrunched her muzzle.
“I only hear bad things about that city. Search’ll tell you to go somewhere else, I’m sure.”
Dew and Search were in the middle of a conversation across the table, not paying attention to ours.
“And as I said, the city didn’t agree with me. I know there’s going to be issues.”
“So why go there?”
“That’s… where my g–marefriend is.”
“The long distance one?”
I nodded.
“You met her when you went to Canterlot?”
“Actually she’s sort of a… foalhood friend,” I chuckled.
“Ooo, she moved to the big city from Fillietown?”
“Yeah. Got some kind of government job offer. A clerk or something, I didn’t ask.”
‘This is a lot of fun and in no way can bite me in the ass later.’
The shopkeeper– is there a special word for someone who deals ice cream?– yelled something and Search leaned away from his conversation, looking towards the counter.
“That’ll be us. Bray, if you could get it.”
“Sure thing, Sir. We’ll continue this conversation after we eat, Sky.”
She left the table to grab our order of… ice cream.
‘So many parallels to Earth. Thank Panar for them, I think I’d go crazy if this place was completely alien.’
“So what were you two talking about?”
I wiped the sweat from my brow. Considering I still had my tin can on, I was not cooling off as quickly as the rest of the squad.
“Things ‘n stuff.”
“Gotcha.”
Bray Call came back carrying a tray in her light green magic. Matched her eye color, as was usual for unicorns. The tray had four cups of ice cream; two vanilla, one chocolate, and one… some triple color. Vanilla, chocolate, and pink. I imagined it had a specific name I didn’t know.
She distributed the cups and sat down with her own tri-color dairy flag. They started licking it like it was on a cone, so I followed suit with the vanilla ice cream they gave me. The cold was a welcome relief. It had been a long while since I had any physical food that actually tasted good, so I was emptying the shallow cup at a relatively quick pace.
‘No cones, huh? Too awkward to hold or something?’
A look up at the menu told me that they did indeed exist.
‘Guess it’s just a preference thing.’
“This something you three normally do?”
“Only on Wednesdays and Sundays,” Search answered from his cup.
“And the Guard pays for it? Just how many bits do you all spend on going out for food?”
They shrugged or otherwise didn’t answer.
“Whoever is in control of the Guard’s finances has no understanding of reducing costs and deserves to be fired.”
“You gonna take over that duty and cut down on expenses or something?”
“And miss out on free ice cream? No! We all need to work to keep that idiot where he is!”
The group chuckled and went back to their frozen treats.
‘Where the hell was I? Long term planning… I’ll have to reorganize some of the cultural aspects of the hive. If there is to be a familial system, then having last names would make things less of a nightmare. The pony way of only vague naming relations is confusing as hell and doesn’t work for changelings. On that, I’ll also have to create some sort of identification system. I imagine I can get help from Luna and her bureaucratic machine for that. Then I–’
“Aaagh!”
I clutched my head with my forelegs.
Across the table, Search begrudgingly handed five bits over to Dew.
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Nice
Wooohooo new chapter! I’ve been getting pretty lucky with catching these updates minutes after they happen lately.
Really liked all the thinking he did this time though. Although has he still yet to tell Cadence his story or are you having that happen “off-screen”?
Played Overlord recently, I take it?
Brain freeze from eating ice not pacing himself...
PRICELESS
10763681
Has not happened yet
First a funny story, then this, then back to Far Sky's everyday shenanigans. Are you sure you're a writer, cause you sure are playing with my feelings like a full time musician.
Honestly, if Phasma opens himself up, he would have a good group of friends with these guards.
10763689
*relief* thanks for answering
My favourite flavour is Caramel Chocolate Chunk, but I suppose that's beside the point.
Nice
10763690
Life moves on. Phasma would rather stay in bed all day, but he obviously can't do that, so he has to suck it up and pretend he's fine.
64.media.tumblr.com/5ba74996fdbfb6eb726ccd390aed4772/tumblr_inline_pd45pyRC7a1tdg2kv_540.jpg
You can keep a monarch, but you can always have a parliament.
10763691
hopefully if he opens up they will understand
I don't see how this is possible in the long term. If 2 cultures need to co-exist and occupy the same locale, then inevitably, one will need to submit to the rule of the other, and I don't see ponies ever submitting to changeling rule.
Take it from someone who knows: thinking about things and stuff is a whole lot better than thinking about stuff and nonsense!
Day 8: I still hate mornings, things seems to progress. I'm starting to make numbers, think on the long run, maybe find cooperation to get the pod I so desperately need. Find option for changelings in society. Hmm…modeling dummies perhaps? I mean we shapeshift, it could be a god send for a tailor wishing to get accurate measurement size without needing various models.
Side pin, modeling careers? Do Equestria has fashion shows? Maybe I could ask Luna.
Nice
10763768
Nice
funny sex number :)
lol nice chapter and chapter name.
Nice.
Dang. You really gonna make everyone sad and then just "Ayyo look at dis ice cream! Haha, bro got a brain freeze." Spectacularly done. But, I'm really exited for when Thorax can finally talk to Phas alone! The suspense is killing me! When Thorax finds out everything that's going on right now, and everything that has gone on, it's gonna be wild.
Nice
A chilled story chapter here and a action loaded one for the Side story.
Since Phasma just feeds slowly off others i guess its a nice method as long not to many Changelings are in the area.
Wonder what Daybreaker is cooking.
Thorax... How will he contact
PhasmatodiaSkyUnderhive 733 Sidestory update is out everyone
I'm pretty sure no other pony sees it this way
10763829
Luna is just edgy like that
Fighting evil for thousands of years, then being that evil for a thousand changes your outlook on life.
10763832
I'm not saying that she is wrong (but she is not completely right also, because being balanced, gray is the best), but that every pony in Equestria thinks that life is black and white.
They think that only darkness and chaos is evil, etc
What harmony is for ponies is just prettier word for order.
Controlling the clouds, the seasons,day and night,etc
For those playing at home, it's named after a place and therefore probably shouldn't have the same one in Equestria.
10763867
Neighapolitan. From Neighpoli/Neighples, Bitaly.
They bet on him losing focus and getting a brain freeze. I love it. I laughed out loud at that one.
And I can’t wait to see how it does
Ahhh, perfect timing...
Ah.... NO.
What you need is land. Chrysalis didn't need to fund the hive (beyond love) and you'll only truly need bits if Equestria, your vary potential future masters, want bits as tribute/tax. Land that you, as king, need to pay no one for is the base. If this land has rescources? All the better!
Changeling society/government/economy is far more... totalitarian? Communist? Tribalism? (I'm sure there is a word that fits perfectly) where the king owns all and all subjects work for free; with the understanding of food, lodging and entertainment.
Your society is 2k+ years out of date. You haven't even invented/adopted currency. Adding all modern complexity in one go will require pony involvement; to (at least) train the changeling beurocrats, tax collectors ect ect...
Even your best infiltrators are under trained to live in a modern hive that needs money.
The moment things calm down, Phasma needs therapy. Like, a lot of it. Bottling up all that pain can not be healthy.
Hopefully Thorax has a bit of input to give here. Given that Thorax wouldn't hurt a fly and he has apparently been surviving in Equestria, he might have found a non-poddable, non-torture way of eating enough.
Hmm, tricky if he wants to make a hive close to Canterlot. Autonomy while close to Canterlot would at the very least require there to be a changeling enclave smack-dab in the heart of Equestria, which would require Equestria to yield the land where that enclave is to be built. Telling the country that "yeah, we gave up a portion of our nation so that the invaders could build their own nation right next to our capitol" would be a hard sell for the Princesses to make, if they agree at all.
10763922
The thing with therapy is, you need to want to get better. He seems to be aware that all is not right with his mellon, but I get a feeling that if confronted by it he would flat out deny it.
This section of the story is very interesting. Is this like the calm before shit goes crazy again? I can’t imagine he’ll having nothing to do with Daybreakers eventual downfall.
10763867
In my country is called Neapolitan but i don't know if it's the same in america
10763921
Totalitarian was the one. It could be seen as specifically Stalinist here, I think.
u havin a giggle there m8
Another good chapter and I got one question what type of music is it. is a classical rock country Hip Hop Pop
Nice.
This chapter in a nutshell:
Kinda...Sorta...
Chapter 69 - nice.
Called it.
did you mean "fit" instead of "Felt"?
10763960
Same up here in Canada, and a quick Google told me that this is because of Naples, Italy. Point is, he couldn't realistically be sure what they called it in Equestria even if he knew what it was called back on Earth.
I sorta agree with Phasma here, could it be that Changelings' way of life is so dependent on a Royal that they couldn't imagine having none? But whereas he thought a Constitutional Monarchy would be okay, surely one must consider that under such thinking its only a matter of time before some bastard king or queen comes along and destroys the Democratic elements- that is if the King or Queen are given any real power and ways to leverage it.
It should be in the Changeligs' best interest to stop relying on strongmen to lead their civilization and if Phasma could teach them that, then a full Republic- a parliamentary Republic- is in the cards.