“God, this is nerve-wracking,” I told Hope as we sat down for a late lunch of sandwiches and tea. “This is really going to happen. I’m going to get sick, I’m so anxious.”
“I feel the same way,” she agreed, “and it’s not even me that has to go through it. Well, mostly. I mean, it'll affect me a little bit, but you know what I mean.”
“Nerve-wracking,” I repeated, “but also exciting. This is really going to happen. I’ve been like this for what? Over a year? A year and a half? It’s not going home, but it should be so much better. I’m actually going to have a clear head for the first time in months. Oh, I can’t wait.”
It was just after three o’clock and the two of us shut down the royal court for the rest of the evening, as well as the day court tomorrow. I wanted to celebrate if the spell Starlight told me about worked. Or, conversely, if it didn’t work, lay depressed in bed all day tomorrow.
“Or use that spell I found,” I silently thought. “Maybe. It depends on what Starlight says and what the timeline for getting her spell to work would be. If she thinks it’s going to take months, I’ll just use it right away since Fluttershy will be here already. There wouldn’t be any point in waiting if that was the case. But I don’t think it’ll come to that. This will work. She’s the most talented pony in all of Equestria. If she can’t do anything, no one can.”
“I know you don’t want to hear it, Alex,” Radiant Hope told me as I took a bite of my sandwich, “and I know it’s going to come off as me just… wanting to keep Sombra around, but this is for both of you. I really, really truly think that both of you are getting better and that you don’t need to cast a spell on yourself. I know it’s not the happy ending either of us are waiting for but… it’s…” She looked up at me and gave me a sad look as she told me, “It’s the safest option to… keep you… from being hurt, and losing everything you- we worked for. I really think that. I’m sorry. I don't want to see you hurt.”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” I responded. “I understand. But I really do disagree. I need this. I can’t stand another moment of living life like this. This has to happen for me, or I’m going to go crazy and take it out on a whole bunch of ponies.”
I watched her sigh, saying, “If you think it’s best, I guess… I really hope this doesn’t turn out badly. I am worried about you. Both of you.”
I moved up to grab both of her hooves in mine with that, telling her, “I know, and I really do thank you for that… I don’t know if this makes you feel better, but… do you remember when I said that I can’t help but… but hate you for what happened in the hospital room?”
“...yes,” she whispered, looking me in the eyes for a moment before looking away, seeming like she wanted to cry.
“Well, I don’t think that’s the case anymore. I don’t think you love me, but I am starting to feel like you actually do care about me, on a friendship level I mean. Not just me, but also Alex, and it’s making me feel much better about you. I’m not in love with you by any stretch, but… I’d like to be your friend.”
She gave me a small smile, and I thought I saw a blush as well as she said, “Thank you. I really do try, because of the… weird situation that you’re in. That we’re in. Although I guess you’ve already kissed me though. Or, well, Sombra has, but I mean you also have, technically.”
That thought made me cringe, and my smile dropped because of it.
“Yeah, um… don’t expect a lot of that in the future. Kissing I mean. But we can… sleep in the same bed together still if you want, as long as we’re on separate sides. But kissing once he’s gone, if he’s gone, is going to be a no-go.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her ears flattening in embarrassment.
“It’s okay.”
“Alex?” a voice called, Fluttershy’s, as she entered into the dining hall, as usual causing a wide smile to form on my face. “I’m glad I get to see you again so soon! How have you been?”
“I’ve been well,” I told her, moving up to give her a brief hug. “Very well. I’m excited for today, and I’m glad you’re here to see it, Fluttershy.”
“I’m glad to be here, Alex,” she smiled. “I asked Discord if he wanted to come and see you too, but apparently he’s still grumpy about how you’re, as he put it, ‘a being more chaotic than him’. And something about ruining something he had planned?”
“I don’t know about any plans, but it does sound like Discord,” I agreed. “But either way, I’m happy you’re here, Fluttershy. Care for some tea?”
“Always happy to see you,” she told me kindly. “And that’s fine. I just had tea with Discord. But um, I have to ask, where are Starlight, Twilight, and Princess Luna? I thought they were going to be here by now.”
“I’m not sure, but they said they would be here in a few minutes. It’s already after three right-”
“Here we are!” Starlight announced as the three ponies we were discussing strode into the room from a different entrance than the one Fluttershy took. “Sorry we took so long. Twilight and I just wanted to triple check the spell we were going to use. I hope that's okay."
"No trouble at all," Radiant Hope told them with a small smile.
“Well, there they are,” I said to the pegasus in front of me. “I guess we can get started now?”
“Right now is perfect!” Starlight said. “As long as everypony is ready, anyway. Are we missing somepony who should be here?”
“I don’t believe so,” Luna said. “Twilight Sparkle’s friends are not here, but I don’t think they will be necessary. Do you, Twilight?”
“No, I don’t think so,” she said. “This should be easy enough. Uh, Starlight, do you want to do the honors? I mean, it is your spell…”
“Wait, before that, I have to ask Princess Luna something,” I got out, turning to the alicorn as I remembered what Hope told me. “If I choose to let Sombra take over, will you go after me? I mean, would you let me keep ruling, or would you just depose me immediately?”
“That would be-”
“She wouldn’t depose you,” Starlight interrupted. “I mean, after all, you were technically kind of already punished for your past crimes, and you haven’t done anything so far, so I think-”
“That we will discuss it,” Luna interrupted, shooting Starlight a look. “And discussed it will be if that were to be his final choice.”
“Um, yeah. That. What she said,” the mare got out as she rubbed a hoof behind her head. “Anyway, uh, that’s not a choice you have to make right now. We’re just going to be doing a couple of tests first before we let you decide. You know, let you see how you feel about each of your options.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’ll send back both of you for a short time, say three days each, so you can see how you feel about being in each circumstance before you decide what you want to do. I believe it's called fronting? Both Alex and Sombra will get the chance to front for a little while. Anyway, after that, in one week, you can make an informed decision.”
“Okay, so what are we doing first then?” I asked. “Sending me back or Sombra?”
“We were going to leave that decision to you, not that it really matters which you choose right now anyway,” Twilight told me.
“Well…" I trailed off as I tried to decide. “What do you think, Hope? Fluttershy?”
“Oh, I don’t have an opinion,” the yellow pegasus answered. “I don’t want you to have to be pressured by me. You choose whatever you think is best.”
“What about you, Hope?”
“Well…” She rubbed a hoof behind the other and frowned again as she said, “You already know what I think… and… what I would want. I’ve told you what I thought was best…”
I considered her words for a moment, thinking them over before turning to Starlight and saying, “Well, I guess since we’re trying out both anyway, I’ll start by sending Alex back, if no one objects to that.”
“I certainly don’t,” she responded, “as long as you’re okay with it.”
“Yes, it’s fine,” I assured her. “As long as that spell isn’t going to kill me immediately, but even if it does, I wouldn’t be that mad.”
“Ah, yeah, it's not going to do that, um, even if that's what you wanted…” Starlight said, grimacing a bit before shaking her head and lighting up her horn. “Anyway, let’s get started. Stay still for me and close your eyes. This is going to tingle a bit.”
“I’ll trust that you’ll make sure nothing bad happens, Fluttershy,” I said as I did as Starlight requested, lifting my head a bit higher and closing my eyes.
“Absolutely, Alex. I’ll make sure.”
“Well, here we go!” Starlight exclaimed happily, which was the last thing I heard before everything went silent.