Chapter 16
Another day, another interesting meal with my friends.
Currently, I’m enjoying the culinary designs of Canterlot’s chefs, thanks to my good friend Loony. She thought I deserved a treat, so she ordered some vegetarian sausages and agreed to wear my helmet during dinner. Real meat would have been preferable, but I'm lucky she was willing to indulge me. With that, I had my friend lick her lips after her most recent mouthful, prompting a small giggle in response.
It’s also nice that the dinner table is a little busier than usual now.
Celestia, sitting across from us, continued her conversation by adding, “Skitter, I was hoping to thank you again for negotiating the release of the first of my captured guards.” She had a broad smile while looking at the bug half way down the table.
“The pleasure was all mine,” came the 'lings warm reply. “It was easy seeing as you’d agreed to provide twenty clean identities, as well as homes to our infiltrators. My queen was quite pleased with the potential for a secure increase in our love yield.”
The clean identities only really consisted of a passport and papers describing how they were immigrants to the country, which was true. As for the homes, they were just rented houses which the 'lings had to pay for with their own money. To be honest, the changelings were well within their rights to just move in using this method without Celestia's intervention. They probably just don’t understand that.
Clearly Celestia was taking full advantage of their ignorance, as she thoughtfully hummed before speaking, “Well it’s my hope that a similar arrangement can be made multiple times.” Well, the trick might work to get a few more prisoners released, but Chrysalis isn’t going to want to lose what she perceives as leverage. She’s just too paranoid. Living in the shadows all your life probably does that.
“If it works out in the long term, I’m sure we can think of something,” Skitter replied before returning to reading a book she’d borrowed.
This action didn’t please the alabaster host who frowned slightly while looking at the bugs empty plate, “Princess, you know there is more food available. I would hate for you to go hungry.” She finished with a brief look of concern.
Skitter lowered her book slightly at that and gave a disarming smile, “the food that your chefs provided was easily enough. Changelings don’t need much physical food.” Her eyes drifted over to the other pegacorn in the room, who was happily munching away, “the ambient love in the room is more than enough.” Ah, the love for sausages is almost as good as the sausages themselves. Shame they’re vegetarian.
After a moment, I realized the bug had started to glance in my direction with the occasional smile. “What’s up? Something on my helmet?” She’s probably pretty bored having nothing to eat, wait that’s why she has the book.
Our newest resident just let out a mild laugh at that. “That’s pretty funny,” when I cocked Luna’s head she elaborated. “Just seeing your headless body next to Princess Luna.” Ah she probably thought I was making a joke about my head.
Currently, my remaining armour was seated right next to the moon princess. There wasn’t really any need for me to be worn fully, so why bother? As I responded I patted a plated, misty wing on my friend’s side, “Luna was nice enough to volunteer her mouth for my use.”
In response to my words, Loony ate another sausage while looking at the changeling. Probably to emphasize her giving nature.
This also brought Celestia's focus to the false meat, where she proceeded to wince slightly, “I really do not know where you have gotten this recent obsession with meat. It is very off putting.” It’s not even real.
Luna, with her mouthful of food, finally decided to speak up, “It is Eclipse's fault.” I feel framed. “Their presence appears to somehow modify our taste buds.” She then quickly swallowed, “Nevertheless, these new foods are quite delightful.”
“Well Luna, if you think this is good, you’ll be amazed by the real thing.” Hopefully my words will encourage her to try some real meat one day.
My friend just looked down slightly at her plate in response, before patting my pauldron, “We are aware thou enjoy consuming the flesh of other creatures, but we are not quite up for it ourself.” Suppose it could be quite distressing for a vegetarian species to eat real meat.
“Well sister, you appeared to indulge in quite a large quantity of meat when we visited our allies,” Celestia stated, while leaning forward over her cake.
Loony covered her face with a hoof and sighed in response, “Please don’t remind us of that event.”
Deciding to ignore her sisters request, Celestia’s eyes narrowed slightly and her lips formed a whisper of a smile, “I knew you only did it to earn the affection of the Griffonian Emperor.” Oh dear, another session of teasing.
The moon princess responded to her sister's jab by raising her muzzle into the air, “He was a very nice bird, however, we did not consider Emperor Thunder Wing to be to our tastes.” Wonder why not? He seemed decent enough.
Casually my friends hoof began scratching the bottom part of my helmet. I couldn’t really help the happy hum that came out. Is that what it’s like to be pet? I’d return the favour but its dinner time. That’s probably why she didn’t react so strongly to Celestia’s jab.
With the matter of Luna’s eating habits settled, Celestia quietly returned to her cake for dinner. An act Luna took note of with gusto. “Sister, we are becoming concerned about thy choices in diet as well. They are starting to lead to your proportions becoming quite… generous.” Well, Sadly, it seems this is the moment Loony has decided to comment on the sun's eating habits instead.
While finishing a bite of cake, Celestia just stared at my helmet’s wearer before exclaiming, “are you implying that I am fat?” Please say no.
“Sister we would never suggest such a heinous thing,” Loony replied diplomatically while shaking her head. Good, Celestia isn’t fat anyway, she’s just taller than most mares. She probably does weigh a lot more than the average pony as a result though.
“I should think not, sister,” she began eyeing her sister warily.
“We were just thinking that a diet of less sugary foods may be helpful,” came the nonchalant words of Luna.
Welp, we did it. Argument time at the dinner table. Before the argument could kick off, I decided to make one thing clear, “Luna’s using the royal we by the way. Just saying.” Really don’t want to be in Celly's bad books. With those final words, the argument had begun.
“Well sister, you’re just a wannabe predator.”
“Without thy patronage, Canterlot's cake shops would all go out of business.”
In a vain attempt to stop the argument, I used my mist to hover a not sausage up to Loony. She kind of took offense to that and batted it away before continuing the argument. Well, seems like no more not meat for me today.
With that, I increased my helmets size and easily removed it from my friend’s head. A new trick I’d learned a few days ago to quickly escape a dreaded mannequin, or sleeping changeling.
While the argument continued, our guest just looked between the two before turning to me and quietly asking, “Do they always do this?”
Might as well try and make light of the situation. “Only when they’re awake.” They are normally so composed, why is it always the little things? This is probably the whole siblings thing. If I had a sister, maybe we’d argue the same way? Who would know? There isn’t anyone else like me.
“Well sister, you should not have flirted with the Griffonian Emperor. He is going to be left despondent when you turn him down,” was the final barb thrown, before the creaking of the dining room doors paralysed everyone into silence. Oh, wouldn’t it be terrible if someone saw this display.
All at once, the occupants of our table turned to the opening to see a familiar purple unicorn poking her head into the room. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything. Princess Celestia told me to come at this time,” came her less than confident words.
“Nonsense Twilight, your timing is beyond perfect,” Celestia warmly responded to her daughter, before the two sisters exchanged a look that just screamed this isn’t over. The ingrained malice seemed to evaporate all at once, as she turned her attention towards me. “Ah Eclipse, it appears today is the day you agreed to allow my faithful student to examine you.”
Today? I didn’t see that on the schedule. Pretty sure the plan was to make sure the bugs okay, followed by the usual large quantities of free time until Luna asks me to follow her around and do random tasks, like judge her choice of room décor, or walk around the gardens. “With respect, Celestia, I’m not aware of any sort of agreement taking place between us.” Immediately both Twilight and Celly gave me a disappointed look. Well, life is disappointing sometimes.
Seeing as the puppy dog stare of the small pony wasn’t working for once, Luna decided to intervene, “Dost thou not remember thy words when we were in peril? Thou said that if Twilight could save thine charge, she could complete her examinations. This is true, is it not?”
“I may have said something along those lines,” I began while shrugging my misty wings, “however, if memory serves me well, Shining Armor was the one to awaken you, Loony.” If I could smile at my victory, there would be the largest one possible plastered across my helmet.
However, it was just my luck that Celestia had decided to team up with Luna against me, seeing as she’d already gotten her hoof in the door, “Well Eclipse, you are aware that Captain Armor is the brother of Twilight. If requested, it would be likely he would also wish for you to be examined.” Really need to divide and conquer next time, get them talking about griffons again.
“I don’t see the resemblance,” I mean, he is bigger than Twilight and completely white aside from the mane. Maybe he looks more like Celestia though, more than Twilight does anyways.
After my blatant denial of Twilight's family ties, the three pony occupants of the room again resorted to the puppy dog stare. Thought this was proven ineffective. You lot should give up. How long have they been staring for now? A good three seconds, at least.
“Okay, fine.” Ah, peer pressure, why do you always win? “I suppose it would benefit me to know more about myself.” Maybe they can prove I’m more than a magical artifact.
With that, Luna clapped her forehooves together and stood from her chair while grabbing me with a wing, “Huzzah, we really wanted to know more of our favoured apparel.” It’s nice to be wanted, but I’m not just a jacket.
“So Twilight, is everything prepared in the lab?” Celestia asked. The ponies have a real lab?
Seeing she had Celestias attention, the unicorn quickly pulled out a clipboard and approached her mother, “Of course, Princess, I went over everything twice before coming here.” These two are a really formal family.
Once the sun had reviewed Twilight’s paperwork, she returned the clipboard. “Everything appears to be in order. I hope you have fun.”
“Aren’t you going to be accompanying us, Princess?” came the slightly disappointed reply of the unicorn, “You sounded really excited yesterday.” I knew Celestia organised this without telling me.
“Yes, I was, but it appears duty calls,” the radiant mare said with a half-smile, “I’m too busy organising a new deal to gain the safe return of our lost ponies.”
Oh well, seems it’ll just be the three of us. Might as well get this over with as quickly as possible. With that thought, I left my seat and headed over to the room's exit. Luna was quick to accompany me and I spied her eating that last fake sausage without me. Now I’m jealous again.
“Are you sure you really want me to go through with this?” I put all of the dejectedness that I could muster, from the lack of food, into my voice. Maybe she’ll get me out of this and we can go do something important, like reading a book or something.
Sadly, it appeared my furry friend had legitimate interest in these examinations. “It would make us very happy to know how to properly maintain thy health. We wish for thou to last a very long time.” Way too often, I put all my money on her. Really need to back another horse.
“Fine,” was all I ended up saying. This is going to suck.
Clearly, Loony could tell my mood was souring. As she calmly brushed a wing against my side and spoke gently to my not-ears, “There is nothing to be afraid about. We shall be accompanying thou for the express purpose of ensuring thy safety and comfort.”
I ended up meeting her gaze, “Okay, sure, that makes it a little better.” To be honest it makes it way better. She has nothing but the best intentions and here I am being all self-centred. Still won’t enjoy it, but I’ll make sure to get through it. The warm smile I received went some way to proving me wrong.
Before the two of us could accompany the pony wizard, a quiet buggy voice quietly asked a question, “Celestia, would it be possible for me to accompany them? I’m pretty sure it’ll be easier to plan for future negotiations without me watching you.” Skitter appeared pretty hopeful to join us. Maybe spying on her ally’s plans is too boring for her?
“Well, I don’t see why not,” Celestia’s response caused the bug princess to immediately stand and provide a light bow. Seems she really does find me interesting. Sadly, Sunny decided she would ruin the moment by asking her own question, “Twilight, one more participant won’t hurt your concentration, will it?”
My newest friend turned her puppy dog eyes onto the smallest pony in the room. “Of course, she can come. This is going to be so amazing. First, I get to learn how Luna’s new armour works and now I can study changeling shapeshifting all in one day.” The excited pony decided to immediately gallop out of the room at that. “Some new tools will need calibrating,” were the final words I caught escaping her mouth. At least she isn’t freaked out by the giant bug.
From the way the 'lings face fell it was pretty clear she wasn’t keen on being a test subject herself. “Celestia, I was thinking that you may like some more insight into the economic systems of our hive. It may help you facilitate a beneficial deal for both our peoples.” Woooow, she sure changed her tune. What’s the matter princess, don’t ya want to be an experiment like me?
“I’ve got this covered,” Celestia absently said without even looking at her.
Not to be deterred from her escape attempt Skitter continued, “But Celestia, I’d just be a distraction from the real prize.” She gestured to me with a hoof, “Twilight can’t possibly find anything of worth if there’s two completely different research subjects.” She then smiled awkwardly showing way too much fang for a pony’s liking.
To the dismay of the expert diplomat, my good friend Loony had taken a sudden interest in her attendance. “Oh nonsense, thou shalt love Twilight’s experiments,” Luna began before her magic aura surrounded the 'ling, “Thou would not wish to disappoint her with thy absence, nay?”
Without wasting anytime, my friend proceeded to wander after Twilight with a wide grin. “Come along Eclipse, we are awaited.” Fine I’m coming.
Celestias only response to our exit was a quick wave of the hoof before returning to her cake.