I've got to say… I’m Impressed
Was the first thought that came to Six’s mind as she looked over the 5 guards that had survived her training. They were panting, beaten, and battered. Their coats were drenched in sweat and they most certainly hurt like hell. But out of the 20 that had decided to take part. These 5 had remained whilst the rest had left, deaming her training impossible. Well, they weren't exactly wrong in the eyes of Six. This routine was meant for the genetically enhanced Spartans, any normal human would have collapsed long ago. But these five guards had done it.
Six stood before the five of them, each looking like their hooves were about to give out from underneath them. Six herself was also breathing deeply, the rush of a good exercise flowing through her neurons.
“I’m impressed.” Said the Spartan out loud grabbing the attention of the exhausted guards before her. “ The exercise you just took part in was considered impossible for any normal soldier to complete. Hmm… Captain Armor, a word if you please?” She called out to her side, grabbing the attention of the Captain in Question as he made his way towards the Spartan.
“What do you need, Six?”
“Captain, these five ponies have completed what was considered impossible for any non-Spartans back where I was trained. These guards have the talent the others do not possess. A talent that shouldn’t be ignored. If applicable, I would like these ponies to be reassigned for further training under myself.” Presented Six towards the Captain.
He stood in thought as he looked towards his exhausted guards. He stared at their battered but determined forms before speaking.
“Stallions. It seems as though you’ve impressed our guests here. So much so that she has asked for you to be reassigned under her for further training. She sees something in you that the others did not possess. I am inclined to agree after witnessing your performance. If you wish to be reassigned under Six steps forward. If not, you are dismissed.”
The guards before them were surprised, to say the least at their Captain's words and what the Spartan saw in them. Until three of the guards stepped forward simultaneously on shaky hooves. The 4th had decided it was simply too much for them as they walked away shakily towards the guards’ barracks. Finally, there was the fifth one, his eyes closed in deep thought until he had made his decision.
With barely restrained effort the guard stepped forward.
“What are your names, soldiers?” Asked the Spartan as she eyed the four of them, they seemed familiar to the Spartan but she couldn’t quite place it.
“What?… Don’t recognize us, buddy?” Came the unmistakable voice Pixy. Getting a genuine look of surprise from the usually stoic Spartan.
“You leave for a day and we’re already forgotten? Heh and I thought Pixy was forgetful” Continued Sparrow with a chuckle and mock disappointment as he got his breathing under control.
“Hey!” Exclaimed Pixy as she bumped her shoulder against Sparrows.
“Enough out of you two.” Came the voice of Spear as he scolded the two bickering guards before looking back towards Six “Staff Sergeant Spear, Private Pixy and Private Sparrow reporting for duty”
“Corporal Spirit r-reporting in.” Came the final, distinctly female, voice making up the quartette of exhausted guards.
“Well then Captain. I believe I have myself some initiates.” Began Six with a smirk as she eyed the four of them.
“It seems like you do. Staff Sergeant Spear I take it you're in command of these two privates?”
“Yes Sir, we had requested transfer from the Las Pegasus Battalion and arrived this morning. My Colonel approved the transfer personally.”
“I see… Corporal Spirit, I shall speak to your C.O in regards to your reassignment and finally Six.” He said turning towards the Spartan in Question. “ I will need to inform the Princesses of these changes but you have my full support in this matter. You're one tough soldier, and we need more ponies like you. I shall inform you later on what the princesses' views on this are. Until then, continue however you see fit and give me daily reports.” He turned back towards the now less exhausted guards.
“Until I say so otherwise, Six will be your new C.O. You shall follow her orders and report any problems that she cannot deal with to me.”
“Sir, yes, sir!” Came the confirmation from the guards before him
“Good. I must take my leave now. Six, I leave these four in your hooves.” And with that, the Captain walked away towards the castle, his form disappearing behind a large pair of double doors. Six watched the Captain leave before returning her attention to her newest underlings, a tiny predatory smile appearing on her face.
“Spear, Sparrow, Pixy it's good to see you again.” Pixy looked like she was about to respond before Six cut her off by stamping her hood against the ground.
“Now!” Exclaimed Six putting on her best drill-instructor voice as she began moving from side to side. “Just because we have fought together won’t mean I will be easy on you. Just because I see something in you doesn’t mean you are infallible. You chose to stay here and thus you are my initiates from now on. You will be drilled, you will be tested and you will be pushed to your absolute limits.
“You will fall, you will be punished but you will get back up! If at any point I see any of you give up, you're out. You will be reassigned back to your previous squads and that will be that. Only the most determined of soldiers will make it through my training. So tell me, soldiers, are you ready to become Spartans?!”
“Sir, yes, sir!”
“Then move it, you’ve gotten enough rest! Give me another 10km around the field!”
Shouted the Spartan, briefly rearing up on her hind legs to slam her hooves into the ground. Her initiates didn’t need to be told twice before they were off again, the predatory Spartan chasing them the whole way round.
Deep in the castle, however, something else was afoot as the Princess of the Night recited her findings of the previous night to her sister and niece. Her sister was currently staring wide-eyed at Luna whilst Cadence was looking a little green as she listened to what Princess of the Dreams had to share.
“Luna that… this cannot possibly be true. No… None of my ponies could ever be capable of this… this butchery!”
“I’m going to be sick.” Added Cadence as her face turned ever-more green as her brain processed the mental images of such death and destruction.
“I’m afraid it's true. This all came from her mouth. Sister this Six is quite possibly the most dangerous pegasus to ever exist in Equestrian history, not even Commander Hurricane was as deadly as her. Without her Armor, she is significantly weakened yes… but still incredibly dangerous even without her protection. We should be thankful she is on our side and has decided to provide us with her support for she is far worse to have as our enemy.
“W-we need to get the Elements. She must be contai-!“ Was the kneejerk reaction of Celestia as her protective instincts were suddenly turned up to eleven.
“Calm down Sister. Take a deep breath and calm down. I know it must be hard knowing one of your little ponies could be so dangerous but calm down and think this through rationally. She is dangerous, yes… but she is on our side, for now at least. She may be one of your ponies but she is not from this planet. Her Dream revealed that much as well as the fact she may not have been a pony before her arrival here.”
“Then let's send her home and throw away the key to the door! From what you said she would be happy back there with her people k-k-killing those things!” Interjected Cadence
“That would be the prudent course of action.” Then Luna sighed. “But we do not know where we would even send her. Our magic is powerful but not *that* powerful. She is part of a galaxy-spanning war. I would have noticed if there were any such conflicts in my stars. Wherever her battlefield lies, it is not within my reach. And that doesn't even account for how she ended up here in the first place. She believes she has died and been reincarnated here in Equestria.”
“That is her belief in her coming here?”
“It is not her belief, sister. That is how she got here. I watched the memory. I saw the moment of her ‘Death’. I heard her own recounting of the event. She is here and it is going to stay that way.”
A moment of Silence permeated the room as Alicorn of the Sun and Love digested that information.
“Then what do you suggest we do Luna?” Asked Celestia, breaking the silence.
“She is helping us now, but it is rocky at best. Her loyalties are to the UNSC as she calls it, not us. I do agree that we should grab the Elements. Having them meet Six under the guise of her handlers. Let Twilight and her friends make their judgment whether Six is to be contained or not. Until then she is a valuable asset for us to use until the changeling threat is neutralized.” Reasoned the Lunar Princess.
“Yes, that is a good Idea Luna. Having Twilight and her friends interact with her is the best course of action for now. I trust Twilight's judgment when it comes to who is friend and who is foe.” Agreed Celestia.
“But what if Six decides to hurt Twilight!” Interjected Cadence once again. “ She is a monster who has already killed hundreds if not thousands! What says she won’t just kill Twilight if she is threatened?!” Her voice was frantic and full of fear.
“Cadence, Six is a soldier through and through. When she first arrived in Las Pegasus as the changelings launched their assault she helped save a librarian named Lily. When she was asked about Six she responded that she comforted the librarian whilst she was panicking. She is not the type of pony to kill without reason. Twilight will be quite fine, I promise you.” Luna’s tone was one of understanding and reassurance towards the frightened pink Alicorn.
“I still don’t like it…”
“Nopony here is completely in favor of either Cadence. But it is our only option that does not involve the sudden containment of a pony, that is, voluntarily I might add, assisting us. We have offered her no compensation, nor did she ask for any and yet she is still here.” Continued Luna.
“Deep down I can feel that she is a good pony beneath her ‘Spartan’ exterior.” Added Celestia hoping to ease Cadence's fears.
“What does that mean anyway Luna? Were you able to find out just why she calls herself a ‘Spartan’? Or why does she prefer to be called ‘Six’ instead of her actual name?” At Cadence's Question, Luna’s face fell, this did not go unnoticed by the royal pair as their faces morphed into one of worry and compassion.
“What's wrong Luna?” Questioned Celestia worriedly.
“Nay tis just… it's just your Question. From what I could get a Spartan is… Sister, Cadence you are familiar with the term ‘Super Soldier’ are you not?”
“Naturally.” Answered Celestia
“I can guess what it means. Are you suggesting that ‘Six’ is such a soldier?” Questioned Cadence
“She is. That is what a Spartan is, she was… she believes she volunteered for it, but her memory of it is… strange to say the least. Anyway, that is not the point, what is concerning is that she has been groomed from a young age to be the perfect soldier, a Spartan.”
“By my Sun... Do you know how old she was?”
“Nay I couldn't risk burrowing deeper into her memories lest I risk alerting her to my presence. Spell or no, the invasive magic would tip her off to my snooping. But she was young, very young that's for sure.” Answered Luna, her tone serious.
“They must have truly been desperate to resort to such measures...” Continued Celestia almost breathlessly.
“Yes, this ‘Covenant’ Six has been fighting. It is a losing war for her people. They are indeed desperate because this ‘Covenant’ wants to exterminate her entire race.” Answered Luna darkly, the mood of the room instantly becoming colder.
“W-what?” Questioned Cadence, a horrified look upon her face. A look that Celestia shared.
“Not even the griffons a thousand years ago wanted to exterminate us during their war, and they wanted to eat us!” Added Celestia appalled.
“That is the reason why she became a Spartan. The last hope against a genocidal enemy. And now she is here, helping us fight our enemy as that is all she’s ever known.” Continued Luna, her face drooping as silence descended upon the room
“Well, then it is decided. I shall send for Twilight and her friends. If anypony can handle Six it will be the Elements. They will see if Six needs to be contained.” Decided Celestia, getting a nod from Luna. Cadence meanwhile looked catatonic, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.
“Cadence, do you have any objections?” Asked Celestia, knocking Cadence out of her state
“N-no I...I need to go hug my Shiney...I-If you would excuse me” Stuttered an obviously agitated Cadence as she got up and limped her way out of the room.
The sound of the door being shut was immediately followed by a silence descending upon the room's inhabitants. A silence that was shortly broken by the sound of Luna sighing loudly.
“You really know how to pick ‘em, don’t you sister”
“I know.” Answered Celestia, her gaze moving towards a window that overlooked the guards’ courtyard below. The shouting of the Spartan in question was quietly audible through the glass. “It's just one of my talents…”
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Yes, I can see where you're coming from.
*hides Magnum while whistling inconspicuously * Ah a wonderful chapter not ending in a cliffhanger
Today's a good day *looks at the time -erm, night that is totaly haven't forgotten the lyrics for the sound of silence nope totally not the reason I'm not making another parodied part of it nope move along nothing to see here
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Did I accidentally commit some kind of faux pas? If so I apologize, English isn't my main language and many of its intricacies still elude me
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*He says. In extremely posh english*
XD
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Well while I am still learning English I Am studying English philology
At least Luna is being the reasonable adult here!
Both Celestia and Cadence are FRICKIN over reacting, and will make a huge mistake.
Even the thought of "containing" Noble Six of all people is so f******* stupid, and will just make a huge red target on you two idiots for pissing off a Spartan!!!!
I think that last chapter hit the sweet spot on word count. Less then 2k really feels like scenes are rushed, or were actually amputated from a larger chapter which if it had been still attatched to, would have flowed better. There are exceptions of course, but thats just my feelings on the matter.
I don't. Twilight is so enamored with Celestia's teachings and is so ignorant of the concepts of death and war that she would immediately demonize any soldier who has spilled blood in service to their country.
I approve of this assessment.
Don't worry Tia, big sister Woona is here now. She can set you straight.
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Oh yeah, I forgot that Twilight is one delusional, too "pacifist" b**** in a lot of stories like this. That is what I'm afraid of.
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So 2k words is the sweet spot… noted
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well, 2--2.5k but yes
new chapter very poggers :>
Why do I suddenly feel like i should sing the halo theme?
Ha! Celestias answer to anything: Throw Twilight at it!
Magnificent Good Luna is reasonable.
In honor of the Spartans:
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Yeah usually if your going for this short form "Each scene is a chapter" style updates then you want to aim for either 3k or 2k, depending on how verbose you are. For me if I aim for 2, I'll probably hit 3-3.5 so its all about knowing yourself, and feeling out what flows the best. Chapters should usually contain some kind of interesting bits, or something to keep them going though so if you have an important, but boring scene thats 2k, you might want to add a bit. It's all about what feels right.
I don't think the venerator is quite up to par, unless that armor has something going for it
That is not a good kneejerk reaction to have
You think that's bad, the Spartan 2:s were kidnapped and replaced by clones in their sleep. Said clones died almost immediately and then the training and procedures that followed killed most of kidnapped kids anyway
Again, be glad you don't know about the Spartan-2 project and everything that was done to create them
Not to mention all the things O.N.I. has done over the years
I have several, most are based around the fact that Twilight and company don't understand conflict, actual real conflict, and have no real way of understanding someone like Six whose life has and personality has been shaped by it.
And so I disagree with them having any real say regarding any decisions concerning Six
That said I would find it hilarious if they did use the Elements on her and they did nothing because they are the "Elements of Harmony" not the "Elements of Public Opinion" (quoted from a story on this site, don't remember which one).
No really, think about all the times the Elements have been used.
Nightmare Moon: We can assume some form of corruption given the immediate personality shift.
Discord: His title of Lord of Disharmony is probably not just for show.
Sunset Shimmer: Again corruption, this time through the forceful activation of the physical Element of Magic.
Tirek (not sure if he counts): He had the the magic of who knows how many individuals in him, including Discord's, and he just had all the stolen magic taken from him.
So how would the Elements react to someone like Six, who is, by all accounts, mostly normal pony with some genetic modifications and the personality of a soldier.
Since everyone else is discussing it. I Honestly feel like out of the elements Rainbow Dash and Applejack are the most likely to cause trouble. Their dumb sayian pride will be shattered by Six which will lead them to do a bunch of stupid competitions to earn it back, leading to more trouble.
Rarity could be a problem if she annoys Six too much with fashion.
Twilight I think will actually do fine (unless she goes mad scientist mode) her brother is a soldier, sure not to the same caliber as Six but soldier nonetheless, she would’ve researched all that entires and should know that one in an active war has probably killed. (Also probably biased because of the amount of twilight sees violets fics on this site.)
Fluttershy highly depends on how you interpret the character but to make it short as long as Six doesn’t have to kill something in the first meeting it should go fine.
And lastly Spike well, he reads comics he’ll probably know what a Super soldier is already and probably think it’s cool to meet a real one.
A couple of things this chapter.
First of all, why is Six being given so much authority? She is still an unknown, not part of the EUP or RG. Why is she bring given authority?
Secondly, I'm not one to know much about Halo lore, but I'm fairly certain Six hasn't fought much Covenant if any outside of Reach. She was fighting insurgents.
On that same note and the third thing to mention; Six isn't a Spartan-II like Master Chief, I'm pretty sure her process of becoming a Spartan isn't the same. She's a Spartan-III. Also as said, she wasn't fighting Covenant she was fighting Insurgents.
Someone who knows the lore will have to verify but I'm pretty sure some things said in this chapter are wrong.
Edit:
Spartan-II and Spartan-III not Spartan 1 and Spartan 2 X3
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S-B312 is the only other Spartan to receive the label "hyper lethal" by Dr. Katherine Halsey. (He canonically but in this case she) is a SPARTAN-III from Beta Company. She was one of the select few capable of receiving augmentations similar to that of the SPARTAN-IIs and wearing MJOLNIR power armor. She excels at deep behind enemy lines insertions without support often being sent after the most dangerous high-value targets on ONI's shitlist earning her the description by one Colonel, "ONI's personal grim reaper."
for a list of the super-soldier programs:
SPARTAN-I, the Spartans of ancient Sparta.
Project Orion, the UNSC's first attempt at super soldiers.
ORION-I, the UNSC's second attempt at super soldiers (SgtMaj. Avery Johnson was part of this)
ORION-II/SPARTAN-II, S-117 and the rest of the S-IIs created and raised by Dr. Halsey.
SPARTAN-III, proposed by Col. Atkerson and composed of orphans from the war. The mass-produced version of the SPARTAN-II program.
SPARTAN-IV, human soldiers pretending to be spartans
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Actually Six is a Spartan 3 while Chief is a Spartan 2.
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I'll look again but I don't recall honor being very prominent among bugs
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>Why she is given so much authority is unknown but I'm sure the author will tell us.
>Spartan B-312 aka Noble Six is a Spartan III of the 3rd generation of Spartans, originally a member of Beta Company and Master Chief is a Spartan II one of the 75 who were taken as children.
>Six was Section 3 or one of ONI's top assassins that's why Six was told no more lone-wolf stuff in the beginning of the game. While not having Fought the Covenant prior, Six was still a very dangerous individual.
Well this has been a very fun read. Great job.
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It will be interesting if he does.
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You know the rules and so do I..... Say hoodbye (pow)
More stuff bugs me in this chapter I'm afraid.
Six, as a guest of the princesses, and a soldier of a foreign nation (relative to Equestria), wouldn't be able to, on a whim, go out and train some soldiers and then have them transferred to her command. Especially since the princesses are afraid of her.
It's been a while since we got the chapter where Celestia talks to Six. So I don't recall the full gist of the conversation. But this could easily be solved by having this stuff planned in advance. Six is asked to train some soldiers to help Celestia fight her changeling war, taking a few soldiers under her wing to train them as best she can. In exchange Celestia will help Six return to her home. But the recent chapters frame it as something more spontaneous. Like I said it's been a while since that chapter where Six and Celestia talk, though I don't think anything like that is in there.
Anyway something that bugs me a bit more is how Luna gets the impression that Six has some sort of bloodlust against the Covenant. Maybe she does, maybe not. But if I was Six and I had just survived Reach, and ran into fellow soldiers, I wouldn't have good, bloody war stories to tell. I'd have the burden of telling them Reach has fallen or will soon fall (comms were probably not too good so nobody except for Noble team probably had a good idea of the big picture. As for the Pillar of Autumn, Six has no way of knowing if it even escaped the Covenant, not to mention no idea of its mission). So Luna would get the impression of humanity on the verge of extinction fighting a desperate war. So I assumed the story demanded Luna and the princesses get a wrong impression of Six and humanity. But yet here in this chapter we see that corrected to some degree, and it's not clear where Luna got her additional information (since it was previously established Luna planted the dream specifically to avoid Six detecting her, but now Luna can just pull whatever else she wants from Six's mind if it's convenient to the story). It just feels odd.
One other thing this story seems to be doing a lot recently is forcing the story to follow a specific path. I dunno how to describe it, but the impression I get is the story wants to pull in Twilight and company, so that's what the princesses do. It doesn't feel like it's earned through the story itself. That said I can't put my finger on anything wrong with the princesses' conversation, so it's probably more the other times I've seen it happen making it easier to notice others. More clear points are Six deciding on a whim to test and then train Equestrian soldiers, and Luna getting a specific wrong impression of Six's Reach experiences as I said before.
I would suggest you try and predict how your characters would react in a situation, what they would say and do, and watch the story naturally evolve. Does it go in a direction you want? If not, what could you change to try and subtly steer the story to where you want it to go?
I should put my money where my mouth is, so let's say I want to change the dream scene. The goal is to make the princesses wary of Six, give them information about Six,, and prompt them to bring in Twilight and co to watch Six as insurance.
Perhaps Luna can stumble across a nightmare of Six in the process of her dreamwalking. Maybe Luna doesn't even think to spy on Six, but ends up in her dream and decides to take advantage of the opportunity. Later Celestia isn't happy to hear this since Six is their guest, but quickly drops it once she realizes Six is dangerous; it's a good thing they know now.
Anyway Luna might arrive in Six's dream to see her death play out again and again (I'd have nightmares about that!) as she fights off waves of Covenant only to finally succumb. Maybe Luna sees her as a human, maybe made up dream restrictions mean Luna sees her as a pony or as an indistinct blob (depends on how important it is for later). Either way, Luna sees a trained monster who never surrenders and fights to her last breath, and does so much better than any pony could. This idea is so alien to ponies and how they wage war that Luna fears her (and this is what the princesses will fear).
Luna plants an idea in her mind (as in your story) that prompts Six to imagine up a way home for her (the basic scene as you show it is the same, mostly). Luna sees Six imagine a grueling hard fight ahead of her to reach the goal, itself telling a lot about her (Luna feels Six wants to fight and kill; again due to the earlier impression). Then Six surprises Luna by informing all the fake-human-turned-ponies that Reach has fallen, and the Covenant are one step closer to Earth. Now Luna starts to understand Six's desperation to fight rather than surrender. And then maybe fake-Halsey reassures Six by saying that as long as one Spartan stands, humanity has hope. So Luna figures out she's no ordinary soldier (and it's not like Six tries to hide this anyway in the soldier training). So now you've set the scene for the princesses understanding Six's species are becoming desperate, and she won't let anything stand in the way of her getting home (might she perceive the princesses doing so at some point? the possibility exists, so she's dangerous!). Then the princesses can call in Twilight and co on the pretense of showing Six their equivalent to Spartans (who fight with Rainbow Friendship Lasers rather than Spartan Lasers).
Hopefully that example shows what I think you could do here.
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Correction Master Chief is a Spartan 2, a Spartan one is title held by the original soldiers subject to the Orion project modifications (that project was the first Super soldier project only tried and was more like Spartan 4s but a hundred years before they were introduced)
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Yeah as I was typing Spartan 1 and Spartan 2 I knew that was wrong, but couldn't remember why XD
Good to know that nobody's pointing out anything else wrong, seems I'm not as bad on lore as I thought
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As a guest, a soldier, and an officer she is permitted just about anywhere because the others believe her to be one of them (her being a pegasus and all). No, she cannot officially just grab soldiers and say they are hers but if they volunteer for additional training under her, with the captain of the guard's permission, then it is fine. It is also worth noting that Celestia did want her to assist in the war effort any way she saw fit and at present nopony knows of Celestia's fears.
The only thing that sticks in my mind is the concept of "Spartan." To us, that name makes perfect sense. It's a callback to the historical Spartans, who held a tiny pass with only 200 soldiers against an unstoppable army of Persians. But to another species, that title means nothing. Which is why, if the title is to have any meaning, Six will have to explain the historical relevance at some point, or adopt a more Equestrian name for herself to achieve the same result. Heck, she might wind up doing that anyway if the Equestrian version has comparable parallels.
A lot of what I wanted to say has been said, so I will just summarise.
I love the current suspense and how story is developing so far. I am excited to see how everything will progress, how Twilight will react to Six, and so on.
Looking forward to the next chapter Connor.
Me: Plays Blow Me Away
Every pony: GET THE ELEMENTS ITS THE DEMON!!!!!
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ONLY THE STRONGEST WILL SURVIVE
LEAD ME TO HEAVEN WHEN WE DIE
I AM A SHADOW ON THE WALL
I'LL BE THE ONE TO SAVE US ALL
... Is that all you can think of celestial?
Use the elements... Oh wait they work on chaos objects and make them harmony (order) objects
Six is an order object so it won't work.
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Tell that to miss: if I don’t like it, imma stone it
So, I binged most of the story in a couple of sessions and it certainly has its ups and downs.
I like how Six is portrayed. She acts like how a Spartan should in the situation she’s in. She’s crisp, direct, and not warrantlessly loose lipped about the UNSC, and is socially inept. The pony soldiers she’s come across are also handled well, surprisingly. Too many fics make them out to be cowards in all but name who barely know the concept of war let alone how to mentally handle the idea of it being thrust upon them. Six’s invincibility in combat thus far is expected. It’d take the Romans a minute or two to figure out how to defeat the man-sized main battle tank after all. I just hope she faces a proper challenge at some point without the need to depower her.
Even the princesses’ reaction to her was decently handled… that is until the this chapter.
First off, the history of Equestria that Six read back in las pegasus’ library suggested a more war-familiar nation. Sure in recent years Equestria hasn’t had war, but according to the history book it clearly has a precedent. That being said, Celestia’s reaction to Luna’s intel is more reminiscent of someone who has never known violence, not a 1000+ year old alicorn who has, inferred by history, to have led wars before. (Let alone one who just went through a military defeat that was salvaged due to Dues ex Amore.)
If the story demanded at sort of response, it should have been Cadence alone, and partially due to the trauma she recently lived through.
Celestia should have been much calmer in her response. Concerned, but not “clutch the pearls” knee-jerk throw her in the dungeon. It doesn’t strike me as how such an old leader would react.
Additionally, just how conscious are you making Luna during her banishment? Because she mentions if it had been 1000 years ago, she’d have been right there with Six sharing war stories, but couldn’t bring herself to do that today. If Luna was unconscious during her time in the moon, then she should be much closer to that 1000 year ago mindset of warriors. In fact, she could/should have admired Six’s stories for the bravery, self sacrifice, and desperation they entailed, rather than focusing on the carnage. (Like the very recently traumatized Cadence would do.) If Luna was conscious during her time on the moon, then she’d have some serious mental issues of her own for being isolated for so long, and I don’t see that portrayed here.
Lastly, to focus on Cadence, if you needed a stereotypical equestrian response to violence, then she’d have been the most likely, if really the only reason be who should do that. Cadence is young, has lived in only peaceful times, and apparently… still chose to marry a military officer. And a military officer who leads troops who have been shown to be willing to fight and die rather than cower. Yeah. The logic still doesn’t really fit.
Now I get it, it’s a trope that Equestria is super peaceful and clutches the pearls anytime someone so much as throws a punch at each other, but I was hoping this story wasn’t going on that direction, especially considering how the pony soldiers have been portrayed so far as being untested, but not cowardly, and how Equestrian history from the library spoke of a world more familiar with war.
Now, lastly, I understand wanting to involve the Elements given how reserved Six is, and how brittle the alliance feels to the princesses. However, involving the entire mane 6 is overkill, at least in the long term. A chapter or 2 of them getting a feel for Six would work, but only 1 or 2 should stick around. Probably Fluttershy alone actually. Flutters is likely the only one most comfortable with carnage and that’s due to her work with predatory animals. After all, you can’t work with manicores and lions without giving them some kind of meat, along with all that entails. She’s also the most therapeutic and understanding one of the bunch who could get Six to open up to.
Rainbow Dash might be enamored by Six, and would join the training I suppose, but that would not be good for a handler. Twilight would ask too many questions, AJ has a farm to run, and war efforts need food. Rarity’s interests would make her a poor handler as she’s as far away from soldier material as one can be while still having enough backbone to fight.
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I see what you mean and Im glad you like this story so much your poiting out its flaws. Now let me adress some things. With Celestias reaction the reason for that outburst is not the violence in general, she has seen and taken part in her fair share back in the day, but more the fact all of this violence came from a simple Pegasus, not an Alicorn of the Sun itself. Thats the reaction im trying to go for as I have explained this previously. The violence isnt the problem, for them atleast not Cadence, its the perpetrator itself. Six, the non ultra powerful alicorn aspect of the heavens. The thought pattern would be along the lines of Sombra only instead of it being an enslaving Unicorn its a hyper-lethal Spartan turned Pegasus. Thats what im trying to go for. The sheer shock that its a normal pony creating such death and violence that scared Celestia.
With Luna I dont doubt that the two would share war stories later down the line, when this enigma is more unraveled to the princesses, but again its the same thing. Luna, as the more warrior oriented of the sisters, can appreciate her sacrifices and bravery… but is it really a good idea to break cover in the dream to join her in telling such war stories? Once again however its the shock value that a, again on the exterior, normal Pegasus has seen action on par with a thousand year old Aspekt of the moon. It rightfully should worry her and be at the forefront on her mind rather than admiring her actions.
Cadence was until like 3 or so days ago a captive of the changeling Queen, give the mare a break, she’s worried for her shiny and her new sister in law.
Finally do you really believe Six would let herself be bossed around by a bunch of young adults who clearly have no military experience whatsoever
Dont mind me i happen to have been reading my little sunspot i believe?
Anyways thats how i got here and saw noble death never play halo much didnt get the game mechanics down but this was one game i keep hearing about so i just read and then it went into hiatus now this well its great would love to see six develop into a great pone and among others as well. seeing as tho all of noble died
Character development is a personal favorite of mine to read and see this is good shes growing to be something i guess.
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This would be more like Equestria is giving asylum to a military officer of a foreign power in exchange that the officer serves under the Equestrian Baner, with the condition that that officer maintains their rank.
Ah, there it is. The dump Twilight at the prolem move. I really had hopped this story would be without it.
While this often a reason for me to abondon a story, I stick around for now, checking how bad it gets.
But the lack of a TS or M6 tag gives me hope.
Celestia after the flood: "That filth must be incinerated"
Six, regarding the mane six: unimpressive. This is the taskforce keeping the world from annihilation? What's this talk about friendship and rainbows?
Pretty soon Six will become Eques' only hope.
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It will be a learning experience for both sides, I am sure.
Hmm...did the child soldier angle garner sympathy from Cadance? I wouldn't be surprised. Despite the wide-reaching fan-interpretation of Cadance's domain as an Alicorn being love, as of the 2017 movie (specifically the opening scene that was cut from the home release, I think added as a special feature) it's canon that she represents family. Cadance and Twilight both hold domain over types of love.
Uhhhhh, unless this Six has suddenly grown a pair down under, that should be a "Ma'am, yes ma'am!"
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From what I've seen, and understand from stories my ex-military dad has told, calling a female C.O. "Sir" when doing the whole "Sir, yes, Sir" thing, is either seen as a sign of respect, or a universal response that no one's cared enough to point out the sometimes inappropriateness of, due to how the military is predominately male.
There's also the fact that according to my dad, verbatim,
"Some of them liked being called Sir. Helped the few ladies feel, 'Yeah, you definitely one of them.'"