//------------------------------// // Halloween 2020 Crossover Special // Story: Queen Of The Wasteland // by Jest //------------------------------// The sudden flash of a powerful light woke the theatre's inhabitants, shocking them out of their strangely deep slumber. Each one found themselves unable to move, or look away from the spotlight which shone down on the center of the stage, to where a small pony sized hole could be seen. Though the inhabitants of the theatre could see the stage, they could not seem to turn their heads, or look away from the single point of light. Even still, they could sense that others were nearby, a fact that none of them could confirm as a heavy aura suppressed their magic. This would normally make most of them feel rather terrified, but there was something about the theatre that made them feel strangely at ease. Maybe it was the surprisingly comfortable chairs which seemed to have been custom molded to their unique bodies, or perhaps it was the smell of aged paper and popcorn that lingered in the air. Either way, the assembled creatures could only watch and wait, which fortunately for them was something they didn't have to do for very long. A faint clunk signalled the activation of an unseen mechanism, and a second later a distant rhythmic thumping could be heard emanating from beneath the stage. After several seconds of near silence the head of a pony could be seen poking out from the hole, followed closely by the rest of their body shortly after. The pony themself was missing most of the normal attributes of an equestrian citizen, lacking wings, horn, and the larger build most earth ponies sported. Standing only as tall as the average eighteen year old mare, they had a lithe frame, and a smile that lit up the room. Their eyes were a bright green, their fur a resplendent orange, and their mane was a combination of their fur color and a bright red. Done up in a wild looking mohawk, the pony oozed excitement, and reminded most viewers of Pinky Pie. A comparison that only became more apt when they saw that the pony had a multi colored jester’s stick for a cutie mark. “Welcome, welcome!” shouted the pony, leaping onto the stage the second the floor was complete once more. “To the greatest game of Twilight’s outside of a certain natural born Derpy story.” The pony all but bounced to the front of the stage, their grin as wide as ever. “I am Jest, and I will serve as your referee and game master for this evening. But before we get into the nitty and or gritty of all that, let's have a joke shall we?” They cleared their throat. “Did you guys hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!” A few creatures laughed, though it was awkward, and came out a little forced. “I see math jokes do well with you, so here's another,” Jest remarked, straightening an invisible tie. “How many times can you subtract ten from one hundred?” After a brief moment of silence, the pony grinned and threw up their hooves. “Once! The next time you would be subtracting ten from ninety!” Their joke was met with a few more laughs, though not many, they were at least a little less forced. “I guess I’ll save the jokes for when you aren't trapped in your seat. So without further ado, let's get into it,” Jest declared, clopping their hoof twice against the stage and causing the spotlight to vanish. “You are here to play a game, and don't worry its not some sort of stupid cliche death game where if you lose here you die. In fact you wont even remember being here when you are returned to your lives.” Jest raised a hoof in the air. “But that doesn't mean this can't be both fun, and illuminating. For you see, I will be able to answer any one question the winner of our little game desires.” “And to answer your next question, yes it will be one hundred percent truthful, and I have complete knowledge on all possible subjects you may ask,” Jest concluded. “So without further ado let's get this game started!” The pony clopped their hoof twice against the ground, causing the ground to fall away only to emerge again a second later. The stage now had a large poker table as well as several chairs of various sizes, each seemingly designed for a different kind of creature. The second the stage had been set the various audience members felt their bodies start to respond to their commands once more. Looking around the room, the creatures found that they were surrounded by what could only be described as themselves. Twilights of various shapes and sizes jumped or otherwise hopped out of their seats and began to look around in wonder. Though they were busy looking at one another, they also noticed that there were no exits to the theatre, nor any windows of any kind. The anti magic field remained as oppressive as ever, though the Twilights who were capable of magic found that they could at least use telekinesis. Only one of the audience members seemed truly alien, and shared only purplish scales with the others. She stood taller than the rest, with great horns which covered the sides of her head and bent up, then down before curving upwards once more. She also had enormous clawed hands, legs which bent backwards after the knee, and a tail that was as long as a normal pony. She also had keen purple eyes, a thick hide of dark purple scales with two small bumps on her chest serving as the only clue as to her gender. Overall she appeared to be some form of enormous reptile that was clearly out of place amongst the other Twilight’s who appeared mostly normal. Two of whom were alicorns, though one looked visibly stronger, while the other had a strangely empty gaze. “Great, I bet none of them know morse code either,” muttered the towering lizard who blinked. “Wait, did I just speak normally?” “Technically you all have different languages since you originate from wholly different realities or time lines, so I figured I’d translate for you,” Jest shouted from the stage. “I’m also ready whenever you are by the way.” The various Twilights moved slowly, eying one another up carefully, and curiously, with most watching the Twilight in their midst who appeared to have been turned into a demon of some kind. A large black book was bound in silver chains about her neck, and her ethereal mane flickered behind her, shifting from black at her scalp to a light purple at the tips. Stars could be seen within the demon’s hair, though most were too busy staring at the large sword-like horn which protruded from her head. A horn which was in the shape of a curved blade not unlike a khopesh, an appendage which she was evidently quite adept at carrying if her smooth confident steps were anything to go by. She too looked back at the other creatures, her piercing gaze looking down on them, scouring their very souls and weighing them each individually. Something she didn't have much trouble doing considering she was one of the tallest in the room, her svelte figure allowing her to tower over most other Twilights. As one they collectively turned away from the demonic Twilight and her shimmering, deep purple fur to a rather strangely gaunt Twilight who towered over all save for the horned lizard among them. Her body was thin, almost skeletal in its appearance, the mare giving off the impression that she wasn't truly alive given just how unnaturally empty her torso appeared to be. She at least had the same cutie mark as the others, though hers shimmered slightly, and the six smaller stars that adorned it were each different colors. That wasn't what grabbed the eye however, as it was her shattered horn which did just that, making each visitor wince at the sight. Her fur and mane were also significantly darker then the other two more normal looking Twilights who had a much lighter coloration in comparison. She also had an unnaturally deep shadow, and her eyes glowed a menacing purple, from which wisps of purple magic emanated. The last Twilight among them was perhaps the strangest among them, though it wasn't quite as readily apparent as to why. She was one of the few unicorns among them who at first glance was not either crippled, or had been turned into a different species. That was until they noticed just how strangely well muscled she was, and the way her eyes glowed a bright yellow color. This Twilight sported an unnaturally long horn and glowing yellow lines which traveled down her body, though most could be seen on her left foreleg. Which was slightly thicker, and wider than the rest of her tree trunk like limbs which clopped audibly against the wooden floor. All who met her gaze felt unnerved by the experience, the pony’s eyes containing a strange alien quality to them that made each creature realize that she was no normal unicorn. “Done eying one another up like a pack of jackals?” Jest teased as they riffled and shuffled a deck of cards. “Yes well, pardon me for taking stock of my strange companions,” remarked the demonic Twilight who was the first to climb the stage and take her seat next to Jest. “You are all quite strange,” remarked the dead eyed Twilight. “Save for you, that is. In your reality did I get a gym membership?” “Not quite,” remarked the slightly buffer alicorn Twilight. “I did spend the last twenty odd years adventuring and saving the world though.” “Were you always an alicorn?” questioned the demonic Twilight. “No. I was a unicorn at one point but after defeating Tirek I was ‘ascended’ if you could call it that,” remarked the alicorn, who found and sat at the seat which seemed to have been designed for her. “I feel like we should probably go around the table and introduce ourselves, lest we end up wasting time asking one another an endless stream of questions,” declared the alien Twilight who sat on a wider, more reinforced chair. “Ahh, that does seem like the best idea, though I have more than a few questions about this place that I would like answered first,” stated the undead Twilight. “Ahh yes. The theatre,” Jest began, raising a hoof. “It is a pocket dimension gifted to me by a close friend. Here I control all facets of reality, all the way down to the subatomic level.” “Curious,” murmured the demonic Twilight, who placed her chin in her hoof and leaned forward. “Just what are you then?” “Just a humble entertainer. It is my creator who happens to have the real power here, but we shan't get into that,” Jest assured. “All you need to know is that violence is not allowed, you can leave at any time, though doing so would forfeit your chance at the knowledge I promised.” “But if we will forget then why should we bother playing?” questioned the dead eyed Twilight. “If you will forget anyway, why not enjoy yourself, and relish acquiring the answers you seek, if only for a moment?” Jest countered. “Yes it may be fleeting, but that just means there is no reason not to enjoy it while you can.” “Sounds like a metaphor for life,” murmured the enormous lizard. “Quite right my friend,” Jest proclaimed. “Now then, why don't you each introduce yourself, starting with the Twilight who suggested you do so in the first place?” The undead Twilight shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “My name as you likely already guessed is Twilight and in my world, universe, timeline or whatever, Celestia rules Equestria with an iron hoof.” “Did she experiment on you as well?” questioned the buff alicorn. “No, though she did have my mother, and technically me killed,” replied the undead. “I am so sorry,” whispered the great lizard, who tentatively touched the undead pony’s shoulder. “It's fine,” muttered the other Twilight. “After that I fled into the Everfree, learned necromancy and have been steadily helping my friends all while I uncover many of the world’s secrets.” “Fascinating. I assume necromancy can do more than simply make zombies in your world,” inquired the dead eyed Twilight. The undead Twilight nodded. “It is also called soul magic and can be used for a great many things.” “Which we don't have time to get into,” Jest added pointedly. “Yes well, I suppose I should go next then,” stated the dead eyed Twilight. “My given name is Twilight, though if I am being honest I am not sure why I am here.” “Why do you say that?” asked the lizard. “Because I am spell, and am not truly alive, nor was I born in the traditional sense,” stated the Twilight. “If I had my magic I could show you what I mean, but in my reality I was created by Celestia as a stand in for Sunset Shimmer. The princess needed someone who could wield the element of magic after her former student ran away and to that end she implanted within me a spark of her magic in order to give me life, as well as control my actions.” “Yeesh, and I thought it was bad that my Celestia created me in a more metaphysical sense,” remarked the muscled alicorn. “That’s horrible,” muttered the undead Twilight. The spell shook her head. “It is not as bad as it may seem. I can still enjoy the pleasures of the flesh. Though for reasons which should be obvious I cannot get pregnant. I am also immortal, incredibly powerful and I can freely alter my being if I desire.” “But do you have free will?” questioned the demonic Twilight. “Celestia told me that I didn't, though I was hoping to get a second opinion,” stated the spell, who glanced at the dealer. Jest smiled. “And if you win, I will gladly give you such information.” “I suppose I’m next,” offered the other alicorn. “Like I mentioned earlier, my friends and I are adventurers. The six of us became slightly isolated, considering we were constantly traveling and fighting various monsters. As such we sort of fell into relationships with one another. The last adventure saw us nearly losing to an incredibly powerful minotaur chieftain, and we only just barely survived because the nightmare within me saved us.” “Strange, I had always assumed that an alicorn’s darker half only emerged after the pony experienced an extended period plagued by negative emotions,” the undead Twilight remarked. “In my reality each alicorn has a second mind of sorts, which lies dormant until some event causes it to emerge,” explained the muscled alicorn. “Celestia attempted to remove my darker half after she ascended me, and only managed to make it revert to a more childlike state.” “Fascinating,” whispered the demonic Twilight. “Though I have questions of my own, perhaps we should continue,” pressed the alien Twilight. The great lizard nodded. “I was perhaps most like the last Twilight before I was dropped into a different dimension by some unseen force. Before that point I had defeated Nightmare Moon along with my friends using the elements of harmony much like how the other alicorns both did by the sounds of it.” Said alicorns nodded. “Yes well, after that things were going well until I unexpectedly found myself in the body you see before you,” explained the lizard, who swept a hand down towards itself. “Which is apparently called a deathclaw. After that I was found by my companion Janey and we have since set out into the wasteland in search of my friends.” “Wasteland?” questioned the alien Twilight. “Yes apparently the mirror world, which some of you may know about, has a dark reflection of its own where the humans nearly wiped themselves out using nuclear weapons,” the great lizard answered. Several Twilight’s nodded knowingly, while the rest merely blinked in confusion. “These nuclear weapons you spoke of, how do they function?” pressed the alien Twilight. “I don't know,” admitted the lizard. “And it wouldn't matter if you did as none of you will remember what happens here,” added Jest pointedly. The yellow eyed Twilight sighed, and leaned back in her chair. “It was worth a shot.” “Unlike the rest of you, my name is Kanathara, and I am a keeper of secrets. Though at one point I was a unicorn like you all I was abducted by Tirek at a young age, and have since become a demon,” remarked the demonic mare. “Before you ask, yes I have met a few of these friends I think we have in common, and no I am not evil.” “You sure appear evil,” remarked the buff Twilight. “In fact I think I defeated one of your kind a decade ago in the badlands. She was trying to resurrect some dead god to bring about the end times, though her plan was rather convoluted.” “Aren't they all?” deadpanned the spell. “Yes well, appearances aside I don't desire the death of the world or anything of the sort,” explained the demon. “In fact if I was not contracted to acquire the elements of harmony I’d likely spend the next century studying in relative isolation.” “Now that sounds nice…” murmured the undead Twilight, who rubbed her chin. “Maybe after my friends pass on I’ll take a century off from public life.” “As much as I’d like to hear your exhaustive reading lists you all have prepared, I must insist that we keep things going,” Jest interrupted, the pony glancing expectantly at the final Twilight at the table. Who snorted. “I’m Twilight and like a few of you I was taken on as Celestia’s protege. In my world she is kind to a fault, and though I was infected by some form of alien parasite at a young age, she took me in. Since then I’ve trained nearly every day in order to defeat Nightmare Moon, something I turned out to be ill prepared to do.” “She didn't really bring about eternal night did she?” the more muscled Twilight inquired. “In my world Luna claimed the whole night forever thing was a metaphor for people appreciating it more than the day.” The infested mare snorted bitterly. “It hasn't been long, but since her return she has not allowed the sun to rise for even a moment. I’m starting to believe that she's trying to freeze the entire planet out of spite.” “That seems slightly… unwarranted,” undead Twilight remarked. Kanathara raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure she's not a prime evil? My nightmare Moon is likely a demon borne from the first act of planetary genocide, which fits the bill of yours quite nicely.” The infested hummed thoughtfully and rubbed her chin. “That is a possibility, though to be honest I’m not wholly certain that demons are even a thing in my reality. Sure they are referenced in literature and stuff, but I’m fairly certain they are fictitious.” “See? They are two very different things that are totally not the creator being lazy,” Jest proclaimed, riffle shuffling the cards in a dramatic fashion. “The creator? You’re not religious are you?” questioned the spell. “Not exactly,” Jest replied mysteriously or hamfistedly, depending on your perspective. “Before we start, I presume that time doesn't flow normally here and that I won't come back five years later or something, right?” prodded the buff Twilight curiously. “You will return to the exact moment I plucked you from your story and no one will be the wiser. Trust me,” Jest proclaimed, flashing the table a knowing wink. “Right then. As curious as I am about you guys I would rather like my answer sooner rather than later,” infested Twilight proclaimed. “Quite,” agreed the lizard. “So, let us begin,” Jest proclaimed, the pony dealing the first hand in mere moments, his movements precise and lightning fast. “The game is Texas hold 'em, which I assume everyone knows how to play, yes?” The assembled Twilights all nodded. “Excellent, you will each find a set of chips with numbers on them before you, and the starting bet is one hundred points,” Jest finished. “Now then, Kanathara, you will be starting us off, and no I’m not just starting with you because everyone else answers to Twilight.” “Uh alright, I’m in,” declared the demon, who tossed a hundred point chip into the middle. And with that, the game had begun. “Just call it or don't, but either way make up your mind already,” implored the infested Twilight. The spell Twilight leaned forward. “I for one believe she is bluffing.” The more well muscled Twilight grit her teeth and stared at the only other opponent left in this hand. Who sat behind a small mountain of chips, her cards laid against the table and a smile on her demonic face. Though no one was out yet several hours had passed and the more athletic Twilight was down to her final points. In her hand she had a pair of threes, and combined with the pair of aces on the table it meant that she had at least something, though it wasn't much. Certainly not enough to bet what little she had left, though at this point if she didn't win something here she was going to end up out the next hand. Add to that the fact that their demonic counterpart seemed to bluff near constantly, plus was an absolute master at it and the more athletic Twilight found herself leaning on going in. “I’m all in,” she declared, flicking her final chip into the middle. Jest nodded knowingly. “Alright ladies, lets see what you got.” “Two pair,” declared the first Twilight, who flipped her hand. The demonic Twilight chuckled. “Not a bad hand but it's got nothing on my full house.” Sure enough, when she flipped her cards over, the demon had exactly that, trouncing the other Twilight’s hand quite well… handedly. “Dammit,” cursed the alicorn. “I don't suppose I can mulligan that hand eh?” Jest shook their head. “I’m afraid not. It looks like this is where you get off.” The pony sighed. “Well it was nice meeting you all.” “It was nice meeting you as well,” offered the lizard, a sentiment which the rest of the Twilight’s shared immediately after, all save for one. “Don't let the metaphysical door hit you on the way out,” teased the demon. “Yeah whatever. I hope you choke on it,” spat the athletic Twilight. “Before you go, what were you going to ask?” inquired the undead Twilight. “I was going to ask if my story was ever going to get updated again,” replied the other Twilight who glanced expectantly at Jest. Who chuckled, and tapped the table, causing a button to merge from the wood. “Totally!” “Wait, really?” she questioned. “Pfft no, this is all you’re ever going to get,” retorted Jest who slammed their hoof on the bottom, causing the floor to fall out from beneath the alicorn Twilight. “I just wanted to be relevant again!” She cried while plunging into the darkness. A second later and the hole vanished having been obscured by two pieces of wood which swiftly covered it and Jest’s button vanishing along with it. “Alright then, with that done let's start the next hand,” Jest happily proclaimed. “Oof, that was kinda dark don't you think?” pressed the undead who glanced at the spot their counterpart had been sitting a second earlier. “Who cares?” remarked the demonic Twilight flippantly. The other Twilight’s exchanged a knowing look with one another, a silent pact being formed between them as cards flicked across the table. “Alright then, the buy in has been doubled, and with that let us start with Kanathara once more,” Jest offered, gesturing to the demon, who tossed the necessary chips into the middle. “Lets see where this goes,” she remarked offhandedly, leaning back in her chair. “Say, I don't suppose you have a kitchen back there by chance do you?” Jest chuckled. “Don't need one, here. Take a look at the menu and lemme know if you need anything. Something tells me we’ll be here a while.” The strange pony clapped their hooves together and a set of menus appeared before the gathered Twilight’s. “Finally, now things can really get going,” remarked the infested hungrily. “This is ridiculous,” stated Kanathara bitterly, the demon leaning forward in her chair, her whiskey sour nearly toppling over onto the table. “How did things end up this way?” The lizard shrugged. “I don't know how but at least it's over. It feels like we’ve been here for days.” “Three days to be exact, but don't worry I got rid of the need to use the bathroom or sleep after it became apparent that this was going to take a while,” Jest replied. “No wonder I haven't had to use the little girl’s room after I drank all those dacquires,” muttered the undead. “Well, everything else aside it was rather nice to enjoy a caesar salad done exactly as I like it, among pleasant company” remarked the dead eyed Twilight, who tapped her lips with a napkin. “Noone seems to get the intricacies of making a good salad these days.” “I’m glad you liked it,” replied Jest with a smile. “Curiosity over this whole pocket reality aside, I’m more than a little baffled how things ended up like they did,” remarked the infested, who gestured to the table, wherein a great mountain of chips sat at the center. “How did this even happen exactly?” “You girls were so bent on getting Kanathara out of the game that things got a little out of hand,” Jest replied, chuckling to themself. “Or should I say in hand?” The deathclaw snorted. “At least it's over after this. I think my tail is about to fall asleep again.” “Yes well, I suppose I’m glad that it will be finally done with,” agreed the undead. “We are ready when you are, Jest,” declared the spell. “Alright, let's make this as dramatic as possible, on three I want you all to flip your cards,” Jest offered, glancing around the room. “Sounds fair,” “Fine by me,” “Acceptable,” “If I have to,” “We might as well,” “Excellent, now before we get into the end game I would just like to say how much I appreciated your cooperation here. The porn Twilight’s were much more difficult,” Jest proclaimed, the pony shuddering briefly. “Wait, porn Twilight’s what are you-” Jest cleared their throat. “But enough about that. Three, two, one, and flip em!” “Huh, I won,” muttered the giant death lizard, every Twilight looking down to find that she had indeed managed such a feat, with only a three of a kind at that. “I just assumed you girls had better.” The spell sighed. “I knew this was a bad idea. Why did I stick with such a poor hand?” “I don't know, but either way I’m glad I at least got a single pair,” remarked the infested. The undead Twilight shrugged. “I may have only had one pair as well but I never really cared about winning anyway.” “Well I sure planned on it,” muttered Kanathara bitterly. “Oh don't be so mad, at least now you all get to go back to your own worlds,” Jest offered. “Oh and if you ever find yourself back here you’ll have the memories of this place restored.” “Well it was nice knowing you all,” offered the undead. “Likewise,” replied the lizard. “Too bad, I would have liked to know if we were going to be able to save the world,” stated the infested mare. “And I would have liked to know how to defeat that wretched hag,” muttered the demon. “Yes well, better luck next time,” Jest exclaimed before slamming his hoof against a button and causing all but one Twilight to vanish into the floor. Once gone, the earth pony hopped off his chair, and clopped his hoof twice against the stage, making the table, and the last chair to slip beneath the ground. A second tap of Jest’s hoof later and a set of lights settled on them, a microphone popping into the strange pony’s grip. “Alright then, this is it ladies and gentlemen. Twilight has won, and now it's time to get an answer to a burning question,” Jest began. “A question which has likely bothered you since the very moment you awoke and smelled the ashes. Go ahead Twilight, fire away as they say.” “What is the status of my friends?” Twilight inquired slightly nervously. “As in, where and how are they?” “Ah ah, that's two questions, and since I promised you one answer, I will instead give you two half answers,” Jest replied. The lizard sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I suppose that's fair.” “To your questions I will simply say this,” Jest cleared their throat. “They are all more or less in the wasteland with you, and are alive. At the moment anyway.” “At the moment?” Twilight pressed. “Noone lives forever you know,” Jest countered, smirking up at the enormous killer lizard. “I suppose that's the best I’m going to get out of this, isn't it?” Twilight inquired tiredly. “I’m afraid so,” replied Jest, who shrugged their shoulders. “Well, that's at least a small load off my shoulders. Do you mind if I enjoyed being able to talk for a bit longer?” Twilight asked slightly nervously, tapping her claws together. “Sure thing, and while we are at it why don't order some more food or drink. I’d be glad to give you a chance to really unwind,” Jest offered. “Especially considering what's coming.” “Wait, what was that last part?” Twilight asked. “Nothing,” Jest replied innocently.