Queen Of The Wasteland

by Jest


They Went Thata Way

“-and that's why bottle caps are our preferred currency. Though some places accept NCR dollars, or legion coins,” Janey finished, while slowly turning the partially cooked mantis leg which was speared on the end of a sharp stick.

Twilight sat awkwardly inside the back exit of the school house, listening to her friend’s explanation while also hiding from any passerbys. In her massive claws was one such peice of mantis, thoroughly grilled, and with some added salt and pepper that Janey had traded for. The scent of the cooked insect meat was incredible to the deathclaw though she resisted chowing down quite yet.

For despite her new instincts, she still struggled with eating meat, although after a few minutes of sitting there she could take it no longer. Biting into the thicker end, Twilight found herself perplexed by the veritable explosion of flavor that came after her fangs had pierced the insect’s exoskeleton. It was almost like a danish in that way, only the exterior was hard and the inside was far from sweet, though no less good.

Janey chuckled as she watched her friend quickly consume the rest of the mantis leg. “Pretty good huh? I wasn't always the best cook but out in the wastes you kind of have to get good if you wanna eat well as you can only rely on two hundred year old food for so long.”

Twilight nodded her head in agreement, and couldn't help but eye the leg Janey was currently rotating over the fire. “Are you going to eat that?” Twilight asked, tapping her response on her handy dandy clipboard.

“I know deathclaws have to eat a lot, but this one is mine,” Janey exclaimed before gesturing to the small pile of corpses lying nearby. “If you’re still hungry feel free to eat the leftovers. They aren't as good as the forelegs, but there are worse things to eat.”

Twilight frowned as she looked over the mantis bodies, her new instincts urging her to consume them both with wild abandon. “Can I at least cook them first?” Twilight asked.

Janey shrugged. “You can try, but I doubt this puny stick ain't about to be able to hold up a whole mantis. If I were you I’d just eat ‘em as they are. Something tells me your aversion to eating meat is just going to be something you have to get over anyway.”

Twilight sighed, her stomach rumbling, while her eyes were unable to leave the sightless gaze of the dead insects. “Maybe later…” she tapped out slowly.

“Now or never. Any longer and they will start to rot, or attract other predators,” Janey replied as she tore the foreleg off her stick before jabbing it at Twilight. “Best to just do it now and get it over with.”

“Like ripping off a bandage,” Twilight glumly replied.

“Exactly,” Janey replied before biting into her meal.

Twilight grumbled under her breath but reluctantly picked up the closest mantis in her large claws. For a moment she merely sat there, mouth half open and gaze stuck on the dull, sightless eyes of the dead creature. A fresh rumble emanating from her belly forced Twilight’s hand, and with a flick, she removed its head with a clawed finger.

Janey nodded slowly as her deathclaw friend began to bite into the mantis’ main body. “There ya go. These guys ain't the biggest so it's not like you’d be able to survive on just their forelegs anyway. Hell I wouldn't even be able to do that had I not grabbed a bite and a drink at the saloon a few hours ago.”

Twilight nodded as she chewed and swallowed the mouthful of meat, the deathclaw quickly consuming the entire thing and moving onto the other body. After flicking the head off the second creature, Twilight found that she couldn't even bring herself to be disgusted with the situation she was stuck in. It was just barely enough to calm her stomach, and the fact that it was both necessary as well as not half bad helped to keep her mind from rebelling.

“So, now onto the problem I mentioned earlier,” Janey began, her voice lowering and becoming far more serious. “I told you about the prison up the road right?”

Twilight nodded.

“Well some of the escaped cons decided to start their own gang and were harassing travelers as well as caravans for protection money. Long story short, a fella by the name of Ringo and his buddies tried to fight back, but they were little more than traders and a light escort while the cons were hardened killers,” Janey shook her head. “It wasn't even a close fight and most of the traders died.”

“That's terrible,” Twilight replied.

“It's not all bad though, one of them managed to get away and is held up in the gas station on the other side of town,” Janey continued. “Sunny Smiles wants to help him while Judy, the bar owner, just wants the powder gangers out of town.”

“We are going to help him, right?” Twilight inquired. “I’m sure we can talk these gang members out of attacking this poor man.”

Janey sighed, the woman massaging her temples. “You don't get it Twilight. It's no longer just about Ringo. This gang wants the whole damn town to themselves. They know how lightly defended it is and plan on taking the entire place and doing terrible things to its inhabitants.”

Twilight blinked. “That doesn't make any sense. They are just gang members and besides, this town isn't exactly very big or wealthy.”

“This town is bigger than most in the mojave and despite recent disruptions to traders, it's one of the more well off of the bunch due its supply of fresh water,” Janey explained.

“Okay so they want to run the town? That doesn't sound that bad,” Twilight replied.

“They are powder gangers Twilight!” Janey exclaimed, standing up in front of the fire. “They want steal everything that isn't nailed down, rape any women that catches their eye and force everyone else into slavery!”

Twilight blinked. “I know this is the wasteland but surely even they wouldn't do something like that.”

The human stomped over to Twilight, seemingly growing an inch with each step she took until she loomed tall over the deathclaw. “I don't know where you are from, but you are going to have to forget everything you believe if you are going to have a hope of surviving around here. Got it?”

Twilight nodded meekly.

Janey sighed and sat back down across the fire. “Things are different here, and the sooner you realize that the better and to prove this point I’ll bring Ringo by tomorrow so he can tell you himself.”

Twilight gulped, and pulled out her clipboard. “Won't he be scared of me?”

“You’ll stay in the back area and not move an inch while I get him to explain exactly what will happen if they win this coming fight,” Janey declared, her gaze slipping from Twilight to the fire.

The deathclaw slowly relaxed, peering down at the dwindling flames and the burnt books they had used as kindling. The sight was a sorry one, and it reminded Twilight once again that she was in a much different, and much darker world than what she was used to. In the silence that followed, the former pony couldn't help but wonder if what her new friend had said was true, only to dismiss that idea with a shake of her head as it simply didn't seem feasible to her.

“So,” Twilight tapped out. “Would you like to hear about where I come from?”

Janey smiled. “I suppose it's only fair since I’ve been rambling for hours about the mojave.”

“I was born in a city called Canterlot, in a country called Equestria-” Twilight tapped, only to be interrupted.

“On a planet called Equis or something, right?” Janey remarked with a smirk.

Twilight frowned. “We call it Equis but there are other species that call our world home. Such as the minotaurs who call our world Terra, the yaks who call it Gaea, the gryphons who call it Zemlya or the saddle arabians who call it Al-Ard just to name a few. Though I like Solis one, as we are the only planet that orbits our star which is named Solis as you likely already guessed.”

“Wait a second, you have multiple sentient species on your planet and they are all named after mythical creatures?” Janey replied, her tone incredulous. “Because that sounds well… a little hard to believe I admit.”

Twilight smirked as best as her new face could allow. “And I haven't even started about how I used to be able to do magic, or that we are ruled by immortal alicorns that are thousands of years old.”

Janey sat there staring at Twilight for several seconds. “Bullshit,” she spat.

The deathclaw let out a raspy chuckle. “That's exactly what they said when I visited that other planet filled with humans.”

“Okay now you’re just pulling my leg. There is no way there is a whole other planet of humans out there. We werent even close to developing long range space flight before we bombed ourselves back into the stone age,” Janey retorted.

“Remember, this other world isn't even in your dimension, but is in one that runs parallel to all others,” Twilight explained, her claw clicks growing so rapid that Janey struggled to translate them. “In fact, if Starswirl’s theory of dimensional multiplicity is correct than there may be an infinite number of universes and-”

With a crack, the deathclaws finger went straight through the clipboard, splitting it in two.

“Thank god for small miracles,” Janey muttered, the woman standing up and dusting herself off. “I’m going to take this as a sign and head to bed.”

Twilight sighed, and began to tap on the door frame of the schoolhouse’s back door. “That's too bad. I really wanted to tell you a little more about my home.”

The human sighed, and sat back down, prodding the dying embers. “Fine, just a few stories, and hey. Maybe I’ll even tell you the story of how I survived getting shot in the head and dug myself out of a shallow grave.”

The deathclaw blinked slowly. “Why don't you go first?”

Janey chuckled. “So it all started with this weird platinum chip-”


Twilight shifted uncomfortably in the narrow space that was the backroom of the schoolhouse. Her large frame made it necessary to crouch low to the ground, and every shift in her body weight made another board creak. Once she found a comfortable spot however, the deathclaw leaned down, and put her ear over a small hole they had created in the wall which would allow her to hear everything that was said in the next room.

Once in position Twilight was left with little to do other than wonder if her friend’s words were true. After all, hearing about Caesar's legion had been enough to shake Twilight’s beliefs in the inherent good within all thinking beings. Not being able to question anyone herself, the former pony was left with little she could do other than trust that she wasn't being led astray.

A possibility that was becoming less and less likely with each bit of evidence that Janey gave her about both this legion and the other various gangs that roamed the wastes. Still, a small part of Twilight wanted to believe that not even these supposed raiders would do something quite so heinous as Janey had suggested. So Twilight stood there awkwardly, hoping that this Ringo fellow would put some of her worries to rest.

A few minutes later and the door creaked open and two pairs of footsteps could be heard entering the schoolhouse. The first set were confident, and strode into the center of the room, no doubt belonging to Twilight’s companion Janey. The second pair were a little hesitant, and Twilight imagined that the person was scanning the room before following after the ex courier.

“So this is the place you wanted to talk?” Questioned a male voice Twilight assumed belonged to Ringo.

“I saw someone who didn't look like a townie lingering near that gas station and figured this would be a good way to throw them off the trail while having a more secure place to speak,” Janey explained, a long creek indicating the woman was now reclining in one of the chairs.

A second creek, this one much shorter followed a second later, the man obviously still a little nervous. “Fair enough. What did you want to talk about? I thought I mentioned all the pertinent details back at the station,” Ringo remarked.

“I just had a few questions, besides. I thought we could play a game of caravan while we chat,” Janey replied.

Twilight heard the man’s chair creek once again. “Well than, now you have my attention. I assume you know how to play?”

“Of course,” Janey replied, the woman shuffling what sounded like cards. “And to start things off I just wanna go over what we already know.”

Ringo shuffled his own cards, and began to slap a few down on the table. “Splinter group of powder gangers took out my caravan and nearly killed me as well but the town was nice enough to hide me. After that they seem to have been putting pressure on Trudy to sell me out, but she hasn't given into their demands, well not yet anyway.”

“I don't think she would ever do that,” Janey replied, slapping a card on the table. “Sunny wouldn't forgive her if she did.”

Ringo chuckled. “That girl sure is something, eh? Didn't even flinch when I came to her asking for help.”

“She sure is. Most folk around here are like that though,” Janey replied.

“A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one,” Ringo pointed out.

“Which leads us to what I’ve been able to find out on my own. Namely that they intend on attacking the town at nightfall,” Janey remarked in a solemn tone.

“Are you sure about that?” Ringo asked, slapping another card down. “I thought they’d go after me but well, now that were talking about it I guess it makes sense.”

“Trust me when I say they’ve realized how much of a push over this town is and are prepared to knock the whole damn place over,” Janey assured her, adding another card to the table.

Ringo cursed under his breath. “And how do you know all this anyway? Not that I’m doubting ya or anything.”

Janey snorted. “They basically spilled their entire plan the second I showed any interest in helping them. Not that I do, but it was useful to figure out how many of them there are, and where they are held up.”

“That is good to know,” Ringo admitted. “And where are they now anyway?”

“Down by that shack sitting on the intersection of route one sixty and interstate fifteen. Jean Sky diving I think it's called, it's the one with the busted plane out back,” Janey explained.

“Makes sense. It's about the only location around with an actual roof. How many of them are there now? Only six of the bastards attacked my caravan, so it can't be more than that,” Ringo assured.

“It's an even dozen now. Their boss Joe Cobb managed to recruit some more cons after they cooked up this plan of theirs to take the town and they came armed,” Janey remarked.

Ringo let out a long sigh. “Well I hope your ace in the hole is a good one, cus this town won't stand a chance against even twelve of the pricks. Those blasting sticks of theirs are no joke, and hardly anyone around here is even armed with anything more than a rusty varmint rifle.”

“And that's assuming they would even help out in the first place,” Janey pointed out.

Ringo sighed, slapping down another card. “I still think we coulda rounded up a few of em if we tried.”

“These backwater townies are more likely to shoot each other than the damn powder gangers and you know it,” Janey spat.

“I guess your right. Plus even if we got Trudy and Sunny on our side it would still be what, five to twelve? Fuck,” the man stood suddenly. “You got me good Janey, here's your caps.”

“Thanks, I’ll put 'em towards buying bullets to put in con asses,” Janey replied, the pair exchanging a handful of jingling metal objects.

“So is that all you wanted to know? Cus I have a feeling that if I hang out here any longer I’ll end up losing the last bit of money I got left,” Ringo remarked in a slightly bitter tone.

“Just one last question,” Janey replied.

“Shoot.”

“What do you think would happen if they won?” Janey inquired.

Ringo let out a long sigh. “Couldn't tell ya to be honest, but if I had to guess than they’d probably sell as many men and boys as they could to the legion than probably keep the rest. I don't even want to imagine what would happen after that but suffice it to say this town would be a hell of alot different if they beat ya.”

“Do you really think the legion would come so far west?” Janey continued.

“You wouldn't believe how far those legion fuckers have come,” Ringo remarked in a low tone. “I’ve heard plenty of stories over my time caravaning and every goddamn one of them say that Caesar's boys are as cunning as they are brutal.”

“That's all I wanted to talk about. Sorry to dredge up bad memories, but I needed to know,” Janey apologized.

“Thats fair, and try not to feel too bad about killin those assholes. They made their choice before they ended up in prison, and even after getting a second chance they went right back to the same shit,” Ringo pointed out.

“Don't worry, they won't find any mercy from me,” Janey assured him.

“Well if you change your mind and need my gun, you know where I’ll be,” Ringo declared.

“Stay safe,” Janey replied.

“You too,”

The door opened, and then closed, a set of footsteps vanishing.

Twilight stood there awkwardly, more than a little shocked by what she had heard through the wall. The man had spoken with such conviction, that it had to have come from experience right? The small nugget of doubt was slowly shrinking in Twilight’s mind, and the deathclaw was beginning to consider the very real possibility that she may have to fight these men.

“You can come out now,” Janey shouted. “He's gone.”

Taking a step back, Twilight gently twisted the handle and walked out of the cramped back room, quickly going for her replacement clip board. “Was all of that true?” She hastily inquired.

“Every word,” Janey assured her.

Twilight shifted her jaw before reluctantly letting out a sigh. “I’ll help you.”

“Even if we have to resort to violence?” Janey pressured.

Twilight nodded slowly. “If it is to protect an innocent village from being sacked, and its people sold into slavery then yes. I will fight but I don't want to kill them.”

“It may very well come to that,” Janey warned.

“Let us pray it doesn't,” Twilight replied.

“Than we’ll move right away, and hit them before they have a chance to even get lunch in their bellies,” Janey announced.

Twilight caught the human by the shoulder just as she was about to turn away. “Wait,” she tapped. “What is our plan?”

“We’ll try to intimidate them as most folk would shit their drawers the second they are up close with a deathclaw,” Janey replied after a short pause. “To that end I’ll talk them into all sitting down and chatting with me in that shack of theirs. After you see them all come inside, wait for the signal, unless you hear a gunshot, at which point you better be ready to back me up.”

Twilight gulped, and nodded. “Okay Janey, I’m in.”