• Published 18th Oct 2020
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Changing Expectations - KKSlider



What does it mean to be a Changeling? To the former human Prince Phasma, that means doing what you can to survive and thrive in an utterly alien world.

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55- Februus

Progress was even slower now that my hooves were beginning to hurt. Walking for miles was not something I had ever done in this body. Like every other ling, I used my wings to cover vast distances.

Flying was easier and quicker. Walking sucked.

Theoretically, I could transform into a species capable of flight– say a griffon, for example– but that was not something I wanted to do. The act of transformation while suffering an injury can be… Fatal.

I would only transform into another species if I knew I was close enough to get to a hospital in time. For if I were to transform, not only would the binding on my foreleg vaporize, the wound itself would tear open and make itself worse. Not being attacked by ponies means that I would have to cross that bridge eventually, but not dying means that I can’t cross it right now.

Crack.

I froze and snapped my head in the direction of the branch breaking. Just because nothing has happened yet doesn’t mean nothing will ever happen. With my luck, the first time I stop being cautious, I will be attacked by a wild animal. This time, there was nothing but the sounds of the forest.

It was getting exhausting always being on edge.

“... I can fix this,” I whispered, failing to convince myself.


The hours passed without note.

Hours of nothing but walking east. A few times, I came across a small animal as I hiked. Squirrels, rabbits, and countless birds flying between branches high above. However, I did not see anything larger than those tiny critters. It took me a while to remember that deer were sapient in this world, hence their absence from the woods. The hours came one after another, never any less boring or less uncomfortable than the last.

Worst of all, slowly over time a new sensation was making itself known to me. It started as an empty feeling but then progressed slowly into a pain. Changelings could go longer without eating than ponies and could eat comparatively far less, but we had a limit. I was hungry.

I could not see what lay underneath the hardened green casing around my right shoulder but I imagined it didn’t look pretty. At this point, I was wondering which would kill me first; infection or starvation?

Both problems could be solved by finding ponies. All I needed to do was find a single town. Hell, even a single pony would do, as long as they had medical supplies. But for miles and miles and miles, there was nothing but trees, grass, dirt, and the small fauna that called this forest home.

I slumped over against a birch tree with a sigh of relief. The tree offered me shade from the hot sun; I felt like I was boiling alive in my carapace. Over my journey, several wounds had reopened and closed periodically as I moved. Thankfully, I had an abundance of adhesive that I could use to seal up the cracks in my chitin. It’s not like I was going to get any less sanitary, considering that my massive open wound that used to be my right foreleg is now covered in solidified vomit.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Unoccupied, my mind wandered back to the events in Canterlot for the hundredth time. This time, I was thinking about Oest.

I had the mind for war, that much was clear. What I lacked was the muscle. In Oest’s name, I must do all I can to prepare myself for fighting Chrysalis. Not that I wanted to fight her alone, but clearly I have to plan for the worst. That means training combat spells, gathering what artifacts I can, and gaining more allies… Oest gave his life for me; I will not let it be in vain. I failed him once. Never again!’

Opening my eyes, I watched as a colony of ants swarmed over a piece of fruit that had fallen from a tree. I couldn’t identify what the fruit was, nor did I care. It was calming just watching the bugs move around.


I had watched the sunrise and sunset three times each so far. Three days of walking. Three days of pain. Three days of wilderness. Of being alone. Of wondering if I would even survive. Of thinking about what I had lost. Who I had lost.

Three days of walking. When I was preparing the invasion, the days seemed short. There was so much to do and not enough time. From sunrise to sunset, my schedule was as packed as can be. Weeks flew by in a moment's notice. Now, days were too long. There was too much walking, too much worrying about and grimacing from my wounds, too much time to think. Way too much time to think.

My progress was slowing. Not only did my pace slow over time but the frequency of my breaks increased as well. At first, I could limp around for nearly an hour at a time before resting. Now, I could barely go to a new point within sight before pausing to catch my breath.

Of all the aches and pains I was suffering from, it was my hunger that was starting to take a toll on me. I didn’t know how long I could go without food. Nor did I know why my physical injuries hadn’t halted my progress all together. I suspected that it was the fact that I was a changeling royal that kept me alive up till this point. I recalled someone saying that royals were remarkably tough to kill; it seems that extends to the immune system as well.

I was resting in what had to have been a campsite at one point. It was a clearing in the middle of this forest. There was a cleared out put lined with circular stones, most likely used for a fire. An overgrown trail snaked off to the north. I was tempted to use that trail to find civilization, but something else had caught my attention as I rested. Above the rustling of leaves, bird calls, and other noises, I heard a quiet rumbling. It was the kind of rumbling that made my parched throat burn. A river was nearby and I intended to find it once I got the strength to stand back up.

I checked over my wounds as I panted heavily on the grass. My opaque chitin hid any discoloring, as well as its rigidity prevented swelling. All over, my black carapace was marked in green smears as I tried to cover up the cracks from the fight. To summarize, nothing had changed since yesterday. Or the day before that.

Just a few more minutes and I would move on, following the distant sound of the river. The overgrown path might lead to civilization, but that given its abandoned state, I preferred finding the river. At least that way, I know I would be solving one of my problems: the lack of water.

Then there was the growing pain in my stomach. I was growing hungrier and hungrier.

With each break, I would have nothing to focus on but the hunger. With each night's sleep, the hunger kept me fitfully awake for long periods. Now, I had to choose between solving my dehydration problem or solving my hunger problem.

‘Fucking Tartarus. How the hell does Tantalus even deal with this on an eternal basis? I imagine he’s gone irreversibly mad by the end of the first year!’

Once again, I got my three hooves underneath me and pushed off from the ground. I teetered for a moment before regaining my balance and heading on east, to where the river was.


The sound of flowing water had grown louder and louder as I approached. The river was perhaps a hundred hooves across, flowing from north to south. The current was slow where I was, but further upstream I could see it moving faster.

I took a cautious approach to the water’s edge. By the time I was stepping hoof onto the grey and black gravel edges of the river, I knew I was alone in the area. The water was cold and did wonders to cool me off and parch my thirst. I raised my head from the water’s edge after gulping down the cold liquid. The sun was high in the sky; there were plenty of hours left in the day.

‘South then. Better to go downstream than upstream, for that’s where civilization lies.’

With my new direction in mind, I set off again, slightly to the side of the river. As I walked, I started thinking about what I was going to do once I found help.

‘With the invasion progressing, I could still be behind enemy lines depending on how far away from Canterlot I teleported. So I should assume the worst and start from there…’

On the other side of the river, bushes rustled.

‘If I am in pony controlled territory, then being captured is potentially fatal. If I am in changeling controlled territory, then being captured by lings loyal to Chrysalis is worse than fatal. I need to blend in and disguise myself with the local populace. If it is ling controlled… I act like nothing bad happened in Canterlot. Fake it till I make it.’

The bushes parted, revealing a massive gray wolf. As big as I was, the furred beast prowled to the water's edge to take a drink. It paused its movement when it saw me, watching from the other bank of the river.

‘That’s a big dog.’

I continued on my way downstream, looking to the side to keep the wolf in view.

‘You stay on your edge, I stay on mine.’

Eventually, the wolf passed from view. But not before five of its packmates exited the treeline to join the first by the water. They joined the first dire wolf in staring me down, but none of us made a move.

‘It’s not paranoia if they’re actually out to get you. Then it’s called foresight.’


For the night, I tried to get up into a tree close to the river, however with my wings still gone and one foreleg still blown up, the best I could do was pitifully scrabble at the base of the tree, unable to even get halfway up to the lowest branch.

So I had to sleep on the ground. It was only marginally worse than sleeping on a mattress due to my hard carapace. I had chosen a spot where the water behind me was down a ways as a cliff rose up from the banks. There, a willow tree hung over the river. As I took shelter under its branches, rustling of nearby bushes caused me to freeze.

‘The moment I let my guard down, I know it will be something ser–’

A grey blur flew out from the underbrush, lunging right towards me. I summed an orange shield, wrapping around the tree I was under. The grey blur impacted the solid surface, crumpling down right in front of me into a pile of fur and anger.

“See? What did I say! I knew something would try to get me eventually!”

The pile righted itself as I got a good look at my attacker; it was the large wolf from across the river. It must have crossed the stream a ways back and hunted me down. If I were to guess, its packmates were not far behind.

“You’re gonna have to get up pretty early in the morning to get me with that, mangy mutt. Now, let’s deal with this before your friends show up.”

Unlike the Equestrian Captain of the Guard, I could not manipulate my shield to push away attackers while defending myself. If I wanted to attack, I would have to lower my defenses by dropping the shield entirely. It was better to do so now while there was just one dire wolf.

The wolf snarled at me as it clawed my shield.

“You want in? Then come on in!”

I dropped the shield, prepping ol’ reliable. The great grey wolf lunged forward at me once again, teeth bared. With a void of energy right in front of me, I summoned an ice spear right in the wolf’s path. Seeing the frozen weapon conjured out of nowhere, the beast tried to arrest its charge and veer off to the side. The point of the spear raked its flank as it dove past and into the water behind me.

Four more dire wolves, smaller than the first, emerged from the underbrush ahead of me. A spray of fire kept them at bay. They prowled beyond the fire’s reach, snarling just as the first wolf did.

“Not very original, are you?”

As I nailed one of the four with a focused will laser beam, the other three charged me. I gripped one with telekinesis and used it as a living projectile, flinging it into one of the other two charging me. They both flew off to the side and into the river. The last one ran straight into me.

I put up my last foreleg to take the blow as I casted another focused will beam at the wolf point blank. The last wolf, a dark grey hulking monster, bit down, but did not stop its charge. It dragged me with it as we went tumbling back

Three more laser beams to the face and the wolf still did not let go of its bite around my foreleg. At this point, I could now feel its massive fangs puncturing through the thick chitin plating, leaking blood all over the place. I was becoming accustomed to seeing my blood at an uncomfortable rate.

I fell over as the wolf pressed forward and wrenched my foreleg side to side, as if trying to rip it off.

“Oh no you don’t!”

I reared my head back and swung it around, gorging the canine using one of my fangs. The sharpened fang cut straight through the bones in the beast’s muzzle, hitting my own leg inside.

I let out a scream of pain as I accidentally stabbed myself. The grey dire wolf let go of my leg before backing off. It was indecisive between trying to snarl at me, whimpering in pain, and keeping its snout low to the ground as it backed off.

“Not my… brightest moment!”

I scooted backwards and positioned myself upright so I could look around better. The grey dire wolf had retreated to the woods. From my left, I could see two shapes pull themselves out of the water downstream. With one still lying dead in front of me, that just left the biggest and baddest wolf standing.

‘Where is he…’

I felt a vice clamp around my neck as I jerked backwards. I swiveled my head around and saw the white dire wolf’s jaws clamped around my own neck. It had come up from the river behind me while I was dealing with its packmates.

Gck!

The pressure made it hard to formulate words. It did not, however, make it hard to cast magic. I gripped the beast’s head and lower jaw with telekinesis and pried them apart. It whined in pain as its jaw bone began to bend lower than it should have. The white wolf then whipped its head to the side. With its fangs still partially embedded in my own neck, I was taken along for a ride. It must have forgotten that it was biting into me as the sudden extra weight being thrown around caused it to stumble back and off the tiny hillside we were on.

We rolled down together; the wolf tumbling around me as we fell, and myself bleeding profusely from only slightly less places than just a few days ago. Old, bandaged-up wounds were reopened as we rolled downhill. The disorientation interrupted my magic grip on the would-be murderer.

Finally, we splashed into the water, carried quite a bit into the middle of it by our momentum. The white wolf still held onto me as we struggled in the water. My head went under and my hearing started going out as water filled my one good ear. Since the wolf held such a tight grip on me, I could tell where it was at all times, even if I struggled at times to tell which way was up and which was down.

The wolf clawed at my back as we struggled, raking right through the chitin where it was already cracked.

As we tumbled through the water, I started blasting water back and into the wolf’s mouth. By sucking out the latent magic in the surroundings, the water froze as it traveled through the beast, ripping it apart from the inside out. Finally, the beast’s grip on me laxened and I was able to free myself. However, I found myself facing an entirely new issue.

I was deep in a river that had a strong current. I had never learned how to swim as a quadruped, let alone one missing a foreleg. I desperately tried to swim upwards to where I thought the surface was, pushing up against gravity. After a long moment of sheer panic, my head broke through the surface of the frigid water and I hacked out half a lung trying to breathe air and not water.

The current was carrying me downstream. I doubted my ability to swim to the shore, as it took every effort and strength I had to just keep my head above water. Looking side to side, I realized that if I stayed like this, there was no way I was going to make it out of the river alive.

That was when my hoof brushed up against something in the water. Desperately, I sent my magic around, feeling for whatever object I brushed up against. A large floating object was in front of me. I grabbed it and dragged it closer. In the waning sunlight, the floating object was revealed to be the white wolf that had tried to kill me not three minutes before.

I clambered over the beast’s corpse, positioning it underneath me as I floated. I was beginning to feel dizzy and extremely tired. My lungs were now burning from swallowing so much water.
The hunger had never left, and had grown to horrid levels over the day. Wounds both old and new were now leaking blood into the cold water. I was floating down a river with little control over direction, with no hope of getting out of the strong current.

“This. Sucks.” I hissed as I panted heavily.


I clung to the wolf’s body for hours. Or perhaps it was only minutes, I could hardly tell. The trees on either side of the river moved quite fast. That meant I was moving fast, and was ironically covering more ground than I ever could on hoof. The sun had completely set now, leaving me in the river seeing only by moon and starlight.

As my raft made of fur, blood, and sheer anger rounded a bend in the river, I saw something ahead that made me question whether or not I was hallucinating.

Lights.

A pony village rested on both sides of the river up ahead. Street lamps were lit up, revealing colorful ponies strolling across an uncovered wooden bridge that spanned the water’s length.

‘I need to disguise myself!’

I sank behind my raft a bit as I loosened my grip on the white wolf. Now that I was obscured by both water and the wolf, I gripped the String of Change as I pictured a disguise. Orange flames covered my body briefly as my black and orange chitin was replaced by brown fur covered flesh. Now, there wasn’t a single wound on my body that was still covered and sealed up. Even my stump leg was opened to the world, the changeling gel covering burnt off. Even worse, the transformation and ripped it open even wider than what it was before, and I could see bright red streaks pouring off of it and into the water. The cold water itself stinging as it lapped against the open wound.

If I was bleeding before, now I was bleeding2.

The distant blurs of the town resolved themselves into the shapes of houses, windows, market stalls, small docks with boats tied off, and more. The ponies seemed so close and lifelike. The bridge was only a few hooves lengths above the surface of the river.

They were so close…

But I was down here in the water.

“H–hackakak!”

My cry for help turned into a cough as I tried to clear water from my burning throat and lungs. The world was starting to spin as I struggled to even stay afloat.

“P...lease,” I wheezed, “... Someone–ack!”

My voice sounded muted. I only knew what I was saying through the vibrations made in my chest and neck as I spoke. As my vision started to fade, I felt the current pulling me come to a stop.

The cold stayed as my body went numb.

Author's Note:


Artist: Lukáš Vašut

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