106- Hesperides
We arrived in Manehattan without any further fanfare. The meeting with the pony Captain went well, with a deal ironed out for him to smuggle crates to wherever the Fifth Hive needed. Now we could get love rations or high quality alcohol anywhere we needed, with no worry of it being caught by inspections. The ponies that inspected cargo on airships were practically absent in the nation as a whole. The… whatever acronym bureau that handled inspections was horribly underfunded and understaffed.
Why did a perfect society need to look out for illicit goods? Or so the line of thinking went under Princess Celestia’s rule. Smuggling. Smuggling was why. Granted, crime seemed to have been quite low while the Sun Alicorn sat on the throne, but there was the fact that ponies like Count Double Dealings didn’t suddenly appear in her absence.
When I stepped off the airship via its fancy gangplank, the changelings escorted me across a busy dockyard that lacked any water. We passed airships of all sizes, from large, to larger, to massive. Some were utilitarian in design and coloring, whereas a select few were like rococo paintings come to life. Maybe that was too generous of a comparison, but the vessels were more of a piece of art than a vehicle. I imagined that the dockyards at Canterlot had a lot more of the richly decorated ones, given the average wealth of the unicorn city.
We ended our sight-seeing tour of the skydocks at a simple black closed carriage, hooked up to two changelings disguised as nondescript earth ponies. I was surprised to find someone else in the carriage waiting for me.
“I've been told you enjoyed your vacation in the usual fashion, Phasma."
"Hello Coxa," I greeted the disguised changeling.
As I got comfortable in the seat, the carriage rocked slightly when the changelings placed a heavy trunk on top. That chest had my armor in it, as I was loath to be far away from the suit.
"The Hive has been briefed on what happened thanks to the messenger you guys sent. But I think we all want to hear what happened from you."
The carriage lurched forwards as the pullers began their journey through the city.
"The Third Hive was felled by Nightmares. The same monsters that possessed Luna, are possessing Celestia, and tried possessing me. We explored the city, met an annoying fictional pegasus, and then killed the city's ruler. The Prophet was a changeling royal that got possessed in ages past, and was the reason why the Third Hive is referred to in the past tense. I killed him by exploding a sun, though I doubt that he will decide to stay dead.”
“Wait! Wait wait wait wait! Wait! Wait. Explode a sun?”
“Yeah. You know that great big ball of plasma up in the sky that Daybreaker raises each day? That’s a sun. It provides light for–”
“I know what a sun is, Phasma! What do you mean, explode a sun?”
“There was a sun, then I blew it up. It’s easier than you would think. Really makes me wonder what would have happened if there was a particularly suicidal changeling…”
“Fine, I guess I’ll get more details when you tell the story properly to us all. Did anything happen after the Third Hive stuff?”
“Some things did happen: vampires, possessions, Web died, brokering treaties between nations. You know, the usual stuff.”
Coxa blinked and shook his head, “Web died? How?”
“Possession by a Nightmare.”
“Jeez. That sounds like a bad way to go.”
“I know from experience that it isn’t. From what I’ve been told, he was ordered to stay by my side, and did so even during the ritual required to remove the Nightmare that was possessing me– oh by the way there was a Nightmare trying to possess me.”
“Phasma you’re shit at telling stories. Or a genius, I can’t tell.” He sighed, “Continue.”
“So the changelings brought me to Vallachia because I told them to. The thestrals cured me, because Luna told them to. Only, we were both deceived by the Nightmare. The ritual failed, Web got possessed, and killed one of their leaders before running off into the night. The ponies hunted him down, and… killed him. That was that.”
Coxa shifted uncomfortably, “Do we have a body?”
“No.”
“... Are you alright?”
“We’ll see. Thankfully I see the world’s leading demonologist every other night, so if something goes wrong Princess Luna will rescue me.”
“That’s a relief…. Changing the subject, how is your marefriend?”
“My– she’s fine. I think. We haven’t had many chances to hang out recently, but hopefully that will change. To be honest, I don’t know how she’s doing. I’d like to know, but things like life-or-death situations make you forget about the important stuff. As far as I’m aware, things are steadily moving on her end. So the move against Daybreaker is going well, but as for how Luna is herself…?”
‘The thestrals said that Luna might not be as stable as she outwardly appears. I’ve been so focused on the whole not-dying thing that I’ve been neglecting her, I think.’
Coxa interrupted my thoughts, “I think your lack of attention is excusable, considering someone died and apparently you exploded a sun.”
“You might be right. Considering everything that’s happened, expecting me to be so on top of, well, everything is unfair. Everything is fine with Luna at the moment, and soon enough will be better. But I can’t remember if I’ve ever asked how she’s been. I’ll just have to have a long chat with her next time I see her. Does Web have anyone that would like to perform a funeral ceremony?”
“Like what we did with Oest and Lace? I don’t think so, no. Then again, I don’t exactly know everything about everyone in the Fifth. Maybe someone will come forward and say they do.”
I stroked my non-existent beard, “Do we have medals or something to give out?”
“Uhhh, no?”
“I’ll have to come up with something then. Were you the one who appointed Katydid as the Captain of the Red Right Hoof?”
“Temporary Captain, pending your approval. Thorax approved and in fact was the one who recommended him, citing the fact that he trained both of you. We didn’t exactly have many officers lying around, so I took Thorax’s recommendation. Do you approve?”
“That depends on his loyalty,” I answered.
“He’s a Chrysalis loyalist?” Coxa asked.
“He might be. I told him that I needed to know who he was loyal to, and to speak with you about the Ascension Chamber and its contents. I… I’d rather not think hard about that stuff at this moment, with everything else going on.”
Coxa stretched out and relaxed on the carriage’s opposite bench
“Not much news on our end,” he announced. “Oh! Thalamus has a location for the first speakeasy. Several scouts have reported similar venues in other cities, so if this one gets your approval, we can immediately move to sweep up those properties and begin converting them to clubs.”
“We’ll visit it tomorrow, or this afternoon if we have time. I have an idea as to what I want the Manehattan one to look like. Art Deco is going to be the next big thing, I tell ya. Anything else?”
Coxa pulled out a notepad from I-don’t-know-where, and began flipping through it.
“Hmmm…. The Count’s assets have finally been catalogued, moved, and organized. That, combined with the latest profits, means that we are officially rich. Not stupid rich, but with the way that things are going that’s going to change soon. What else, what else…. Living quarters have been expanded for the Fifth. We’ve got spare room now, and the apartments we have are turning up nicely, if mostly useless. I know only a few changelings that actively like to eat, so kitchens being in each unit seems kinda opulent to me.”
“Make note of those changelings. We’re going to need dependable and trustworthy staff for the speakeasies, and having some changelings be the cooks isn’t a bad idea.”
Coxa wrote some notes using a pencil that was conjured from a similarly mysterious location, “Sure. I mean, we’ll probably end up hiring ponies since they’re the ones who actually know about pony food, but having a pair of eyes or two in each kitchen is a good idea. The only changelings that actually do know how to cook are the Infiltrators, and those guys are about as rare as an Uttu’s fang.”
“Do we even have any in the Fifth?”
“Maybe one of the new recruits is one. I’ll get about cataloging everyone’s skills so we know what we’re working with, but we should assume that we have no Infiltrators.”
I swiped at the air with a hoof, “Eh, they’re all probably Chrysalis loyalists anyways. We’ll make do without them. It’s not like there’s a pressing need to keep the Masquerade Protocol in place, anyways. We can afford to make mistakes. So we got housing in good order, speakeasies on their way, what else?”
“Sales and inventory are good. Cricket wanted to talk to you, something about accidentally running into one of the Elements of Harmony bearers. Didn’t seem scared, so it must not be urgent. That should be all. The last order of business is the Red Right Hoof, which I think we covered already.”
‘Speaking of which, there’s something I’ve been meaning to do…’
“The Reds are on an urban fighting and guerilla tactic regimen, correct?”
“Uh… yes.”
“Good,” I nodded, “because I’ll be joining them on their training.”
“You will?” Coxa asked, surprised.
“I’ve been letting my training go. My time in Hooferville kept me physically in shape, but they didn’t exactly run combat exercises. I need to practice fighting, and get better at it. Sheer brute force and overwhelming firepower doesn’t work against foes of equal power level, and the Nightmares have plenty of those. I need to stop being so shit at dueling. I need to actually train. Katydid being back only reminded me of the need. After all, Oest wouldn’t have died for nothing if I was better at fighting.”
Coxa frowned at me, “He didn’t die for nothing. I’m telling Thorax you said that, you know. You’re going to wish it was me berating you; he gets scary when it comes to mental health and the wellbeing of his lovers. You’re literally going to be smothered with kindness.”
I sent my best deathglare his way. Unfortunately, I think it lost most of its effect due to the fact that I was struggling to not break out into a fit of laughter, “I’m not his lover!”
Coxa chuckled, “Could’a fooled me. Seriously though, Oestridae didn’t die for nothing, and I’m sure he’d be happy that you’re committed to getting better in his name. You don’t exactly have a lot of time to train, especially with the business and running the Fifth Hive, but I’m sure we’ll work something out.”
“Somethings better than nothing,” I agreed. “Any other business?”
He flipped through several pages of notes, “No? No. That’s all.”
I looked up from the dry report I was reading.
‘Emotion? Why am I tasting fear, in my own office? This had better not be some police ponies barging in and doing something stupid.’
Hastily, I assumed the disguise of Expected Value, the blue unicorn. Moments later, the door to my office opened and two ponies stepped through. Well, one pony and a changeling disguised as a pony. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Phas!” Thorax greeted me.
Behind him, Double Diamond walked slowly in Thorax’s hoofsteps, casting nervous glances about the place. After taking in the sight of my office, his eyes settled on my own.
“Hello Thorax, hello Double Diamond. I didn’t expect to see either of you here,” I returned the greeting.
“I came as soon as I heard you were back!” Thorax said as he stopped in front of my desk.
“You brought Diamond, too?”
Diamond rubbed the back of his neck, “I told him I was fine waiting at home, but–”
“But I decided to show him around your evil laaaair!” Thorax beamed.
I shook my head slightly before putting on a smile, “And how are you finding my ‘evil lair,’ Double Diamond?”
“I was expecting, you know… skulls ‘n stuff? Like proper Ogres & Oubliettes dungeons. This is just Corporate Equestria.” He shivered, “This kind of evil is too realistic for me.”
“Are you afraid of TPS reports?”
“Hehe, no, no… just, uh...”
“Afraid of me?” I asked.
Diamond quickly shook his head, “No, no! It’s just, everytime we pass somepony– someone, they always stare at me. I feel out of place here.”
“Hmm…” I hmm’ed.
“They’ll get used to you in time, DD!” Thorax tried to cheer up his coltfriend.
I helped Thorax, “That’s true. The changelings are still rather reclusive and a bit xenophobic. It takes time for those biases to go away. We aren’t as quick to forgive or befriend as ponies.”
‘Still don’t understand that alien mindset. If someone tries to kill, you kill them back! It’s just that simple… I’d better not look the gifted pony in the mouth and just take this new beginning to our species’ relationship that the Princesses are offering.’
“Anyways, how are you, Phas?” Thorax asked me.
“I’ve been better. I’m busy catching up and planning ahead right now.”
Thorax put his forehooves on my desk, raising himself above my paperwork and putting himself at eye-level with me.
“Sounds boring. But I asked, how are you, Phas? I want a straight answer.”
“... Someone died, Thorax. What’s worse, I now know that there’s a war coming in the future. One so bad, it’ll make this spat between our species look like a warmup game to the real deal. I’ll feel better after tonight, when I speak with Luna next.”
“Good,” he smiled, “I think you should be spending time with your friends. Which is why I think we should all go on a vacation together…”
I blinked, “Now?”
“Yeah!”
Behind Thorax, Diamond nodded slowly, showing his support for the idea.
“The Grand Galloping Gala is in three weeks, Thorax. I need to be ready to deal with the events that will come in its fallout.”
Thorax gasped, “Then let’s go after! You, me, Double Diamond, and Princess Luna! All four of us can go!”
“... Go where?”
“There’s a place up north, in the mountains,” Diamond spoke up. “A town called Shimmervale. I was looking at moving there. I probably won’t now since I’ve got Thorax here to keep me rooted in Manehattan, but I still want to at least visit it.”
“A skiing town?” I asked.
“Yeah!” They both cheered.
I sat back in my chair, “That could work. I don’t know how Luna feels about that hobby, but we could rent two rooms up there and spend some time unwinding. Then again, I don’t know if Luna will be able to extricate herself from the mess following Daybreaker’s cleansing. She might want to stay with her sister for a bit, seeing as they would finally be reunited….”
Thorax gave me two big puppy eyes.
‘I could really use a vacation..’
“... We’ll see.” I told him.
“It’ll do you good,” Thorax pleaded.
“Being with Luna will do me good. If she stays in Canterlot, then I’ll be in Canterlot. If she can come, then we’ll go to this Shimmervale.”
“Yes!” Thorax cheered, pumping a hoof into the air. Diamond looked pleased.
“Alright alright, can I get back to work now?”
Thorax hopped back from my desk, “First you have to tell us what happened. From what I’ve heard, it was quite an adventure!”
“Adventure?” Diamond asked. “Thorax, didn’t somepony die?”
Thorax turned to Diamond, “Yeah, but, umm… Changelings aren’t like ponies. Your legends are all ‘Princess defeats this,’ and ‘pony out-clever that person.’ Changeling legends are… monster slaying. Adventuring in deep, underground caves, doing heroic things. People die on those expeditions, it’s true, but that just makes the triumphs all the more meaningful. Look, if you’re too uncomfortable listening to it, we can leave and I can get the full story later from Phas, okay?”
“Okay,” Diamond agreed, though we could both tell he wasn’t quite convinced.
Thorax reached out and grasped Diamond’s hoof with his own, “Hey. If you’re not comfortable, just tell me. I promise I won’t be upset if we leave early.”
“Alright,” Diamond said more surely. “It’s important for me to learn about your culture, anyways, just like you’ve been learning about pony culture.”
“That’s the spirit!” Thorax grinned.
‘Is Thorax’s enthusiasm a contagious disease or something?’
Thorax sat down in one of the two chairs across from my desk, pulling it up close. Diamond hesitantly followed suit, sitting himself down in the other chair.
“Okay Phas, go!”
‘If every changeling was as adorable as Thorax, this whole interspecies-war would have been resolved a lot quicker.’
I began recalling the tale, “Alright. So no shit, there I was, in the middle of the jungle…”
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Nice
Is it just me or am I hearing Rick's voice coming out of Phasma?
I have a question why does phasma say " no shit " every time he tells a story ?
Thorax is mega adorbs. Would snuggle. Phas, I’d give a hearty smack too, *then* a hug. They’ll make a good guy of you yet!
Is this a reference to what I think it is.
Definitely genius. No doubt.
You sure about that?
Even with just Thorax, I bet he'd be able to negotiate an end to the conflict if not for Daybreaker.
10929950
If you're thinking of the Pinkie clone, probably not. This is still season one, surprisingly.
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It's a meme.
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Pretty sure it's a meme. (A quick Google of "so no shit there I was" without quotes says that it comes from the military)
10929953
But who would be stupid enough to take that bet when it was literally the entire point of his canon counterpart?
I must say I'm quite happy to see the story return to the 'running a prohibition-era mafia' plot, the Third Hive side-quest was entertaining but starting to get a little too long for my tastes.
Interesting, well don't forget Phasma: you can't have a nightmare if you never dream.
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Because 10/10 on humor, also 10/10 on baffling lings and pones alike
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As a Navy vet, I can confirm.
Phasma is back to the mobster life. For a little while anyway!
Would you like to know more?
Hesperides, (Greek: “Daughters of Evening”) singular Hesperis, in Greek mythology, clear-voiced maidens who guarded the tree bearing golden apples that Gaea gave to Hera at her marriage to Zeus. According to Hesiod, they were the daughters of Erebus and Night; in other accounts, their parents were Atlas and Hesperis or Phorcys and Ceto. They were usually three in number, Aegle, Erytheia, and Hespere (or Hesperethusa), but by some accounts were as many as seven. They were usually said to live in the west beyond the sunset, but the Greek poet and grammarian Apollonius of Rhodes (3rd century BC) placed them in North Africa, and the mythographer Apollodorus (2nd century BC) located them among the Hyperboreans. The golden apples were also guarded by the dragon Ladon, the offspring of Phorcys and Ceto. As Ladon is the name of an Arcadian river, Arcadia was possibly the original site of the garden. The golden apples figured in different accounts of Heracles’ 11th Labour. In one version Heracles slayed the dragon and took the apples. In another version Heracles held the heavens while Atlas took the apples for him. In some artistic representations Heracles dines with the Hesperides, who freely give him the apples. The golden apples that Aphrodite gave to Hippomenes before his race with Atalanta were also from the garden of the Hesperides.
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And if you were talking about the bit of Bucking Nonsense I suspected of you, that takes until Season 5 to be possible. (Capitalization intentional, because finding ways to insert relevant usernames like that is one of my favorite things).
...
...
The real plot thickens.
Well this is a nice cooldown and I hope they manage to get that vacation.
I can picture the mentioning of a skiing to a non-nightmare'd Celestia
Phasma: Oh by the way I'm kidnapping Luna!
Celestia: Wait? What!
Luna: Were going skiing.
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That is the reference I suspect it is, yes. Though it need not align with that fic's timeline if it's only a throwaway nod.
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Well, of course the current Princesses are aiming for a mutually beneficial end. But this was an argument stemming from the idea that Phasma's "lessons in greyness" so to speak would result in the Princesses becoming less idealistic, and act more like him. But as Phasma in this chapter points out:
Phasma may not understand the mindset, but he knows that that ponies, and the Princesses in particular, becoming more grey and thinking more like him would be a very bad thing, given how this invasion meant killing all ponies by turning them into food. His own way of thinking would mean the death of all changelings, so he's not complaining about this alien mindset of forgiveness that's currently paving the way for an eventual peace without bloodshed.
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I agree with this prediction!
"-November First 1955-"
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Worth mentioning that canon Celestia has a golden apple tree in the Royal Gardens or thereabouts, in what we have to assume is only a surface-level reference like the pegasi's Greco-Roman facade (and existence).
Noooooo, why must the chapter end?!
I wanted to see diamonds reaction and moar Thorax!
Also great chapter dude, I really enjoyed it and what shall come.
Also Red right hoof gang
funny enough, that reminds me of
You might also want to do something... a little different.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/263163/23/seven-lights/22
A town in the mountains…
Named Shimmervale…
Where Double Diamond is going skiing?
Oh boy, Phas is in for some trouble
Slow yet very deep chapter. I loved it
Loving how DD is getting a pony to Q&A and ask for pony mind set. He in turn can help ponys later understand Changelings in turn ♡
This is the best way to start a story. If only that's how this story started...
"Alright. So no shit, there I was, drowning..."
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This righr here, at the begini g when Phas told the guy in the cariage what halpened I was a bit down that Phas didnt start his tale by the ritual: "so no shit, there I was" but then at the end.. so satisfying XD
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I don't get it... is that a bad thing? A few writers nowadays have been using names that have escaped me when it comes to knowing their double entendre meaning.
Starting to wonder what'll happen when God-of-Drip Discord turns up. probably gets possessed by a nightmare and turns the whole planet into cottage cheese, but like, evil cottage cheese made from evil dairy cuz nighmares never got over their anime-villain inspired goth phase.
also thorax is adorable and the thought of him skiing is even better. that said I really gotta wonder how healthy freezing temperatures are for pony sized insects. really fuzzy coats, maybe?
can't wait to see what that run in with an element was about. and which element
also loving the direction the story is going. planning and politics. back room shenanigan's with a lil action mixed in
Priceless humor. Thorax the ultimate kindness killer
Got to love the Lings giving Phasma shit with the best intend
Phasmatodea timetable is pretty full...
《[Everyone looking at him] ... 
The best
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Because its his shtick
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Hes good looking, that must be good enough
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Ling-Puppy-eye-combo [Thorax]》
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The best 👍
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If it would be that easy... But jumping dreams might be a viable tactic...
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👏
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Happens if it get stuffed on a regular basis by karma
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PRICELESS. News headline: Dread King Phasmatodea foalnapping Luna for ski vacation
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Best future canon moment for the LOL's
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The chapter might have ended ,but the story should make up for it next update
And of course, Daybreaker's cleansing will go perfectly well.
"Ha! Not with that crowd's lu-"
THE CLEANSING. WILL GO. PERFECTLY WELL.
how many times has he said this?
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Say it with me folks:
Glim-Glam
Glim-Glam
Glim-Glam
Glim-Glam
I hope we get to see Luna next chapter, her and Phasma are adorable. Though the fact that the moments are few and far between makes them all the more special.
Who else would like to read Thorax's reactions to the story?
What would Thorax's reaction to this whole story be?
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Heads high, ponies! Marching proud! All together now! Every one of you! No pony left behind!
10929998
Wouldn't mind seeing where this line goes-
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I am now...
See, he assumes Luna is well on her progress, but....
Our bet is placed on Rarity for the one changeling contact. Alternately, Applejack visiting family.
Honing skills is a great idea. Playing chess is all well and good, but improving reaction time for execution is important too.
All the best stories start with "No shit,".
o dear god
Thorax + Fluttershy working together in aimed cuteness and steamrolling Phasma!
Thorax:
& Fluttershy: 
Phasma: "So it finaly come to this..."
... *heart explodes trough cuteness overload*
Angel Bunny:
"Long live the Queen and King".
Hm... If Fluttershy & Thorax combine there cute kindness... Cant they literally beat everything by making ones heart skip a beat until i stops
Angelbunny two years after they team up: "So no shit, they team up and now everyone surrender to there kindness or died trough there cute eye combo...
Thorax rules by making his following Lings repeat the 'Thorax&Fluttershy puppy eye combo', Fluttershy rules by asking the animals to be helping her and everyone getting eatch petting or tummy rubs to make everyone submit".
Angel Bunny put on a cute little cape and smiles evily: "Time to conquer the world trough kindness and cuteness weaponised!"
Ah, yes.
Making plans for after defeating the bad guy.
Definitely not a trope about jinxing yourself.
Phasma is back is back in the office, it's time to pull all of the plans together and et the ball rolling.
10930331
A mountain in the middle of nowhere? Sounds a lot like where he was first found in canon...
10930565
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The changes introduced in the timeline will make him a bit less receptive, assuming that the others aren't there to shut her down even harder.