We were back in that parlor that I had conjured a bit ago. It was comfy, warm, and didn’t bring up repressed memories of the family and life I had lost.
Just the way I like my dreams.
This time I was splayed across a massive floor-cushion that I had seen often in the palace. Ponies seemed to often prefer this type of seating arrangement over chairs in casual settings, I noticed. When Luna entered my dream through the balcony again, she walked over to where I was. I had removed the couches in the room in favor of lounging in front of the fire on my massive pillow. It was twice as big as I was, and five times comfier than my hospital bed.
I conjured up a duplicate big ol’ pillow across from me as she approached. She then sat down on the pillow in front of me, tucking in her legs like a cat. I on the other hoof was still laying on my belly, with my head on my hooves.
“Heh.”
“Good night, Phasma.”
“... Usually that’s a conversation closer.”
“We kn– I know. It is a travesty.”
“Well I’m bored. Was your day at least noteworthy?”
“Your advice seems to be working. Though it did confuse much of the palace servants at first.”
“Glad to be of help.” I yawned, “Give it time. Give it time and people will start to warm up to you.”
“Thou– You seem very tired.”
“Been like that for a while now. Tired all day, tired all afternoon, tired all night. Makes me wonder if my physical health affects my dream-psyche or whatever.”
“It tends to, though one can control their presence and form with enough experience.”
“How goes your subtle war against Daybreaker?”
“I am having trouble convincing Twilight Sparkle of the need to turn against her former teacher.”
“Seems like it should be easy.”
“You have not seen Daybreaker in action. She is kind, patient, and deceptive. Twilight is blinded by her loyalty for Celestia, and so she cannot perceive what possessed Celestia, even if her physical appearance has changed. With Celestia’s experience in political maneuvering, manipulating Twilight’s loyalty must be as easy as breathing.”
“Does she suspect you?”
“I would be shocked if she did not. We– I have not been the most skilled at this clandestine maneuvering. This was always Tia’s expertise. I fear that she has already taken notice of my closeness to Twilight and attempts to convince her.”
“Hmm. If you were perfectly behaved, you probably would have been suspected anyways. Perhaps what you need to do is throw her off the trail. Fake a confrontation, maybe even appear to have given up on trying to convince Twilight. Make it seem like the fake confrontation is the culmination of your desperate plans to get your sister back, and let Daybreaker win that fight. Appear to accept that Celestia is Daybreaker now… You could even say you don’t quite understand fully, but you will try to learn.”
“The last idea would be most untenable, given our personal experience with Nightmares.”
“Suggest the idea that each Nightmare is unique, and therefore each experience with them unique as well? You say Daybreaker appears kind, right? Maybe the key is for you to appear to begrudgingly accept that she is kind.”
“An interesting idea. I will think over feigning surrender in this conflict…”
I yawned again, this time squinting and closing my eyes as I did. I heard some shuffling and a few hoofsteps on the marble floor as I yawned. Then, I felt something brush up against my left side. When I opened my eyes, I saw Luna starting to sit down next to me. I moved over to the side to give her more room.
“What, the other pillow not good enough? You have to have both that one and mine?”
“The grass is always greener,” she said before draping her right wing across my back.
“Uh…”
“We– I noticed you were quite tense, and you seemed quite cold…”
“Quite the leap, from taking my hoof to snuggling.”
“Do you object?”
It was quite warm and comfy under her wing. Now that she was next to me, I felt the heat coming off her barrel. She was looking over her shoulder as we spoke. I could see the reflections of the fire in her teal eyes once more, reminding me of last time we were in a dream together. The way her fur brushed up against my carapace was almost ticklish.
“... No.”
‘Something tells me that Luna will be the one making all the first moves and setting all the precedents in this relationship. Considering that’s one less thing I have to stress over, I’m A-Okay with it.’
“... You know, I don’t think we ever physically even touched each other before. Not even a hoof bump.”
“We only met on the field of battle. ‘Tis not a place for signs of affection.”
“Isn’t there a saying, love can bloom on the battlefield?”
Luna looked a bit confused, angry, and incredulous all at the same time.
“Whoever said that has not seen a bastard sword cleave a pony in half in front of them on the front lines before. Our– My niece says all is fair in love and war, but I say keep the two separate. The idea of love blossoming on the eve of battle is nothing more than a fancy of meritless romantic novels.”
“... You know, we should probably get to know each other better sooner rather than later.”
“Know each other?”
“Yeah. I’ll start; I’m into some real nasty stuff. Things like hoof-holding, consent, romantic dates.”
“How vile! To think I have fallen for such a debased lech!”
“Yeah well I already notarized the paperwork so our relationship is official. There’s no taking it back.”
“You beast! Though I suppose there is one way I can get out of this entrapment yet…”
“Am I going to die?”
“It will be an open casket funeral.”
I laughed and Luna joined me. I couldn’t recall the last time I heard her laugh– if I ever did– but it was pleasant to hear. For just the briefest of moments, I forgot that this was all just a dream, with us being miles apart in reality. Sometimes I wondered if this whole life was all just a dream, occasionally ranging from a nightmare come to life to a fantasy woven into reality.
“... Luna?”
“Phasma?”
“What does love feel like to you?”
‘... ‘Tis not something I have felt often before. Love for my sister and my newfound niece is one thing, but you are asking about true love… ‘Tis like a sunrise. Full of beauty and color and emotion, and everypony sees it differently. I can not tell you what love is like for you, but for me it is a fire that burns in my heart. An ember that I can not ever let die, lest I lose my own fire.”
“Hellfire…”
“Now I am curious. What is it you feel when you think of love?”
“It’s not something I’ve ever felt before. Before you and Nightmare Moon I’ve never been interested in others. Never had a crush. Never been in love. No relationship with anyone held interest to me. Then I met Nightmare Moon and suddenly there was an urge I’ve never felt before. It was like I was a moth drawn to a flame. Even if I would get hurt, I was intoxicated. I suppose I still am.”
“A flame and a moth drawn to it. I do not understand why Harmony has decided to reward my turning against it with the chance encounter with you, but… I can not imagine where I would be without you. Without all this.”
“... With a crippling alcohol addiction?” I offered.
It had been a few days since I signed and hooved over the recruitment papers. I did read through their entirety, out of boredom in equal measures as interest and caution, and had gone through a few sessions of physical therapy. It went slowly and without note other than the fact that the pains of hunger lessened with each passing day.
Luna was progressing well during our lessons but often had to step out due to dream related business. Something about hunting nightmares, which I was completely in support of. In the meantime, Doctor Hoarse Throat got me a prosthetic.
“How well does it fit?”
I tested the prosthetic out. By lifting my shoulder up, the contraction contracted. Lowering it, the leg extended fully.
‘I’ll need to be careful to not shrug.’
“It fits well.”
Doctor Hoarse nodded, “That’s good. You’ll be able to do the straps on your own since you’re a unicorn.”
The straps in question were two bands of material, one going up and around the base of my neck, and the other going across and around my barrel. Together, they held the prosthetic snug in its socket.
The prosthetic itself looked like a very simple system of pulleys but I couldn’t rule out magic. I couldn’t detect any, but low level enchantments are often hard to detect. The exterior of the prosthetic was made of smooth metal plates all fitted together to cover up any gaps within the structure. Currently the rounded piece that covered the kneecap was removed, allowing me to see the structure within. Several beams, wheels, and pulleys lay within. It was a simple system, as I understood it.
All in all, it looked like a leg encased in platemail.
I raised and lowered my shoulder a few times, testing out the device.
“The true test is walking with it.”
I slowly and carefully maneuvered my way out of the bed. Keeping myself balanced with the new weight pulling down my right side. It was heavier than what my old leg was, making moving it an entirely new experience.
When I got off the bed I tested standing using the prosthetic.
“You’re doing great, Sky.”
Trying my best to ignore the frankly embarrassing platitude, I focused on lifting the leg and placing it down a pace ahead. The metal hoof clanked on the tile flooring as I set it down.
“Try walking across the room.”
‘Your health is low, you have any potions? Or food?’
I walked across the room in an undignified and slow pace. It was clear that getting used to the faux limb would take some time.
“It will take some time to get used to the prosthetic.”
I rolled my eyes.
“You’re doing great, Sky.”
“Uh huh.”
It was also starting to get exhausting. I could not tell whether it was from the extreme blood loss I was recovering from or the fact that I essentially had been skipping leg day during my entire time here on Equus. A bit of both, most likely. Unlike Oest, I did not exercise much. I did do a lot of combat training but that was far from pure aerobic exercise, not to mention the fact that I had only done it for a few months. It kept me in shape, true, but the focus was more on technique and skill rather than physique.
By the time I had walked the breadth of the room five times, I was sweating and panting. So I collapsed onto the hospital bed, trying to catch my breath.
“That was great, Sky!”
‘Panar strike me down now. I’m sorry for what I’ve done!’
“Is that… praise necessary?” I panted while trying not to glare at him.
‘I’ll do anything you ask, just please never have me run the PACER!’
“Yes. You must have a lot of earth pony blood in you because your recovery is going at a record pace!”
‘... Probably too fast. Forgive my weakness and impatience, but I’ve decided to risk a quicker recovery to staying in this boring room any longer than I have to.’
I grunted a reply.
“I’ll be sure to pass the good news along to that friendly Sergeant.”
“Good news?”
“All your test results are clear. You’ve been making an excellent physical recovery. And to top it all off, you’ve taken to the prosthetic like bees to honey! Instead of keeping you here just to run laps over and over, instead I’ll just hoof your therapy regimen to Sergeant Search. That way you can check out of here sooner rather than later.”
I pulled myself up to a proper sitting position now that my chest wasn’t about to explode.
“Oh. That is good news. When am I leaving, then?”
“As long as all the paperwork is in order, you could be out of here as early as tomorrow afternoon. I am going to prescribe a light physical workload outside of therapy. For the first week, use either the wheelchair or walk on three legs almost exclusively, as putting strain on your shoulder for too long could cause the wounds to reopen. Otherwise, we’ll take a look at it tomorrow and see if we can give you the all clear.”
“Fantastic.”
“Now, there is one last thing we need to discuss…”
Doctor Hoarse came close to retrieve one of the clipboards at the end of the bed. She then flipped through it for a few pages.
“... While you seem to be recovering quite well from the attack, there is a matter I would like to discuss with you before you leave.”
My ears splayed back.
“I know that tone. That’s not a tone of voice anyo–pony wants to hear a doctor use.”
“Shortly after you first woke up, you were brought up to speed on what happened to you physically. Do you recall that conversation?”
“Yes.”
“During this conversation you had an… episode.”
Suddenly the wall became very interesting, so I opted to stare at that instead of the Doctor.
“Far Sky, you’ve been hiding signs of extreme stress. We’ve become concerned that… Without access to your previous medical records, we can only guess at your history. Before I go into theories, I would greatly appreciate it if you could tell us what’s troubling you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Please Far Sky. We want to help you.”
“I said I’m fine.”
Hoarse sighed, “While we were discussing your treatment, you became extremely distressed when we were discussing spells concerning the mind. Were there any prior incidents that might have caused this?”
I couldn’t tell if my disguise was breaking down or building up. Either way, I wanted this conversation to end.
I quietly said, “No.”
“What is it that makes you anxious?”
‘That fucking lab–’
“I’m fine.”
“... The first step to getting help is admitting you are struggling. You don’t have to be alone in this.”
“Thank you, Doctor Hoarse.”
“Sky, please look at me.”
I met her gaze. The amount of concern coming off her was nearly nauseating. All the emotion did was frustrate me even more.
“Were you subject to mind spells in the past?”
‘This not a conversation I ever wanted to have. How do I even get out of this?!’
“No.”
“... Was somepony you know subject to them?”
‘Calm down. Get a hold of your breathing. And stop shaking!’
“No.”
“It’s okay Far Sky. Nopony can hurt you, just please be honest with me.”
“... It’s been a fear of mine since…”
Hoarse did not interrupt me. Instead, she patiently waited for me to continue. I took the time to continue my lie as I took the opportunity to let my gaze drop to my hooves.
‘A sob story... One where asking too many questions won't help, only hurt. So it’s gotta be tragic but not something like abuse.’
“My uncle. He… He was a guardspony for Fillietown. Years of service. He was one of the nicest ponies I knew. He started helping us after our dad died... Last year, he was a few years from retirement when a brick fell onto him while walking past a home that was under construction… He wasn’t wearing his helmet since he was off duty. Then… well, that’s it. He went from being the best guard in the town to… He couldn’t walk. He forgot things quicker than he could learn them. He couldn’t really talk. He…”
I trailed off.
“If a brick can do that, what can a spell do?”
I sniffled and rubbed my eyes with my left hoof. I wasn’t actually crying, but Hoarse didn’t know that.
“Thank you for being honest with me, Sky.”
‘Holy shit, that worked?’
“It’s stupid…”
“No fear is stupid. Someone close to you was taken in a brutal manner and it hurt you. Nopony can blame you for someone like that.”
‘No doubt this is going to be brought up again in the future. Another lie I’ll have to remember. Shit, that means I’ll have to wear a helmet a lot if they issue one to me. That’s the price I pay for this easy out, I guess. Now buzz off, pony. I’d like to get some shut-eye.’
“Can I get some rest now?”
“Oh, sure. I’m sorry if I pressed too hard. Just remember we’re here to help, so if you want to talk more, you can.”
“Okay,” I quietly said while undoing the straps that tied the prosthetic to me.
‘Far Sky is going to have a lot of helmet hair.’