//------------------------------// // 130- Lugh // Story: Changing Expectations // by KKSlider //------------------------------// The two Elements ambushed The Royal Gang© outside the conference room. “Yer Highnesses,” Applejack bowed to the Princesses while Twilight did the same. “Is all that true? All that…” She trailed off. “I’m afraid so, my little pony,” Celestia said, not hiding the sadness in her voice. “And these Nightmares, what are we doing about them? This is really the first you’ve explained anything about them,” Twilight said. “I was planning on explaining everything in a few days, once you and your friends received some much needed rest, following your heroics during the Grand Galloping Gala,” Celestia explained. “And it’s true that yer only a year old?” Applejack asked. “And about your… siblings?” I sighed, “I had planned on telling my full story, but obviously we had too much to cover. Yes, I hatched less than a year ago. Or slightly more, I don’t know the date.” “You don’t know your own birthday, Your Majesty?” Twilight asked. “.... Pinkie would blow a fuse if she heard that.” I shrugged, “Yeah. I had a lot going on, as I said. When you don’t trust your own mother when she says all your brothers and sisters totally weren’t murdered by her, your priorities tend to get a bit skewed.” “Ah’m sorry to hear that, King Phasma. Ah don’t approve of you hurting ponies, but it’s clear that there’s more going on. Somethin’ you should’a mentioned,” Applejack added angrily. “I should have, yes. I’m sorry for not explaining things, yesterday was a busy day, and I was getting tired of others dictating their morals to me.” “So what happened with Count Double Dealings?” Applejack asked. “He confronted me while I was disguised. I tried to solve the issue several times, but he needlessly escalated to the point of demanding my dismemberment. So I… killed him.” She narrowed her eyes, “That sounds like needless escalation to me.” I shrugged, “You’re right, I could have easily let him live. But he reminded me too much of the bastard who murdered me, so I killed him right then and there.” “Wha– murd– what did ya say?!” “And on that bombshell, I have to say goodbye. I’ve got to coordinate the move from the Crystal Caves to Manehattan–” “Now just hold on, what do ya mean you were murdered, King Phasma?!” Applejack asked, looking as confused as Twilight. “I mean someone killed me for no reason, with no pretext of self defense. So yeah, I guess Double Dealing’s death was justified in that regard, but I certainly killed him on purpose.” “... How were ya murdered?!” “I said I was older than a year old, and I meant it. Reincarnation, Applejack. Reincarnation. I was killed and reborn as a changeling.” “That’s… Oh my Celestia.” “Reincarnation?” Twilight whispered, looking to her after-school tutor for answers. Celestia simply nodded. While Twilight processed this, Applejack recovered quicker, “So let me get this straight; you were murdered. Then you were immediately put to work to plan an invasion, all the while finding out your brothers ‘n sisters were… what was that word, Twilight?” The purple unicorn seemed a bit out of it, like a record skipping. “Lobotomized,” Twilight automatically responded. “Yeah, that. The brain stuff. That's all right?” ‘Oh, she got Twilight to explain the concept to her.’ “Yes Applejack, that’s all correct,” I said. Applejack worked her jaw in silence as she looked at me. “... Ah can’t say Ah approve of hurting or killin’ ponies, but that don’t mean ya haven’t suffered. Good ponies make mistakes, and bad ponies can fix their ways. Just…. Make sure nothin’ like that ever happens again.” I squinted as I thought about her words, “... Thanks?” “That means ya need help, Yer Majesty. The professional kind. And to listen to what the Princesses tell ya.” “Luna has signed us all up for therapy,” Celestia offered. “She has?” Applejack asked. “She has?” Twilight echoed. “She has,” I sighed. “Oh,” Applejack muttered. “Ah suppose you’ve got ‘em on the right path, Yer Highness.” “I’m glad you agree with the course of action,” Celestia said. “Of course she does, Lady Applejack has wisdom she seldom dispenses,” Luna said. Applejack sighed, “What did I say about ‘lady,’ Yer Highness? Wait, were you insultin’ me?” “I would never dream of it, Applejack. I was simply stating that few come to you for wisdom. A pity, really; you are wise beyond your years.” “... Thanks, Princess Luna. And Prin– King Phasma here is seeking yer companionship?” “Ha, more like I am seeking his! As you saw, when it comes to matters of love, the love-eater is rather shy,” Luna winked to Applejack. “I’m standing right here,” I muttered. “Which makes it all the more entertaining,” Luna beamed. Applejack’s face went blank, “... Sounds like you’ll be keeping a close eye on ‘em, then. Good, uh, good on ya for finding somepony who’ll make you happy. Just don't let that cloud yer judgement, but Ah suppose you have heard this already. Ah suppose that’s my business settled here in Canterlot. You’ve all got things well in hoof. Ah’ve got a train to catch, so Ah’ll see you later, Twi. Tell me about how this Count business goes down. Thanks for yer hospitality, Princesses.” She bowed to them before leaving. Twilight waved to her as she left. I was busy whispering to Luna. “You totally insulted her, right?’ “It was an accident. Was the recovery sound?” “I think she bought it.” “That is a relief, though you should note that my response was honest. She is a smart mare, even if she does not appear so on the surface.” Twilight addressed Celestia, “Princess, you mentioned to me that I would need to stay in Canterlot for a few days longer?” “Indeed, I’m glad you received my letter. There is a matter that will be more expedient with your effort, if you’d help…” Twilight smiled, “Of course I’d love to help, Princess. And, uh… thanks for asking, rather than ordering.” Celestia’s smile faded, “Yes, well, I have much to make up for. Already, there are rifts growing in Equestria due to Daybreaker’s actions. But that isn’t why I need you.” “What do you need me for, Princess?” Celestia gestured to me, “King Phasma has a unique problem that requires all of our talents to fix.” “It’s not uncommon for adults, okay? I just need a little help,” I joked, Luna chuckled while Celestia rolled her eyes. “What is he talking about, Princess?” Twilight asked, “I’ll explain when you’re older, Twilight.” “I’m twenty, Princess. What age is required?” The response must have surprised Celestia, “.... Nevermind.” “Why do I need her help, though?” I asked. “The Nightmare’s mark,” Luna reminded me. “Oh. We’re doing that now?” “In two day’s time, we should have the time to investigate it, if you are open,” Celestia explained. “The sooner, the better.” I nodded. Twilight was a bit afraid, “The Nightmare’s Mark? I assume this had to do with the Nightmares mentioned earlier?” “That is correct, my student. The Nightmares have targeted Phasma in the past, and have left a rather unfortunate ‘gift’ for him. We need to investigate the mark they left on his psyche, and contain it if need be. I’d prefer it if we could completely remove it, but I am not holding my breath on that outcome.” “I’ll help in whatever way I can,” Twilight saluted. Celestia chuckled, “Very good. Thank you, Twilight. We will require your aid in preparing the spells and helping with the grunt work. It’s not very prestigious, but you understand the need for the highest quality work when dealing with mind magic, correct?” “Of course, Princess. I’m happy to help in any way I can.” “Wonderful. Two days from now, if you’d please come after lunch, we shall begin our work.” Twilight nodded. “Can do, Princess. So, King Phasma…. You were reincarnated?” I groaned, “You run along without me, Luna. I get the feeling I have to play twenty-questions with a unicorn for the next two hours.” Luna nodded, “Very well. I have court scheduled for the next few hours, but in the evening we shall work in my study. Return him to me after supper, Twilight Sparkle. I have need of his modern linguistic skills.” Celestia said her goodbyes, “I’ve got my own business to take care of. There’s a lot still left to be done in order to undo Daybreaker’s malicious acts. I’ll see you at dinner, Phasma. Goodbye, Twilight.” “Goodbye, Princess Celestia!” “See ya.” I watched the alicorns leave us, but Twilight coughing quietly brought my attention back to her. “So, King Phasma… what were you before you were a changeling?” ‘She’s going to be at least present while the sisters visit my brain, so it’s probably best that she knows what she’s looking at.’ I sighed, “Come with me. There’s a sitting room I’ve found with a great view, and I’d rather be comfortable while being interrogated.” The fact that the room had a mini bar fully stocked by yours truly had absolutely nothing to do with my decision to move our conversation there. “So you were reincarnated?” Twilight asked for the fifth time. I popped open a chilled drink for myself and poured a glass. “Yes, Twilight, I was.” “Is that… alcohol?” “I sure hope so.” I picked a comfy looking chair in the ritzy sitting room we were in, and threw myself down, being careful not to spill my drink or the bottle I brought over. Twilight dragged a chair– after a period of apprehension of moving Celestia’s furniture– across from me and sat down in it. “But alcohol is a prohibited item in Equestria….” “Yep.” “And there’s none in the castle, something Princess Luna told me personally….” “There wasn’t any before I got here,” I winked. “How?!” I chuckled, “Let’s just say that I saved Celestia from sobriety. That sounds a lot worse than it actually is, what I mean to say is that I gave her booze because she was having a hard time coping with everything going on at once. We all have our vices, and Celestia seems to keep hers under control.” Twilight blinked, “.... O-kay. And the Princess isn’t doing anything about you breaking the law?” “I have diplomatic immunity, Twilight. Besides, I’m breaking Daybreaker’s laws. If I was doing anything actually serious, like selling drugs, then Celestia would be cracking down. As it is, I’m capitalizing on Daybreaker’s overzealous mistake, and Celestia is gaining from my intervention personally, so she allows it.” Twilight frowned, “The Princess isn’t giving you a pass because she’s gaining from it, King Phasma. That’s ridiculous. Obviously, it’s some well-placed gambit to allow you to get away with this in order to not put too much stress on the potential relationship between Equestria and the Fifth Hive.” I shrugged, “If you say so.” ‘She’s totally in it for the booze.’ “What were we talking about again? Oh! Reincarnation!” “Yes Twilight, I was reincarnated.” Twilight brought forth a set of quills and ink pots from somewhere I missed– hard to see through the bottom of this frosted drinking glass– and prepared her papers. “If I may ask, what species were you before your reincarnation? A changeling still?” ‘Best not to beat around the bush, I think.’ “I was a human.” “Human? I’ve never heard of that. Where do they live?” “On Earth.” “On Earth?” She stressed. I nodded. “Would you please clarify that, King Phasma?” “Over twenty years ago, by my recollection at least, I was born on the planet Earth as a human being, the sole sapient species inhabiting Earth.” Her quill stopped, “.... Excuse me?” “Me. Alien. From space,” I grunted. “Alien,” she whispered. I nodded again, “Yes.” “Alien.” Her mood went from curious to…. infatuation. ‘Uh oh, that’s not good.’ “.... Twilight?” “Alien.” “Oh fuck,” I muttered when I realized what I had just done. “Alien.” I facehooved, “Luna’s gonna kill me for breaking her sister’s student.” “An actual extraterrestrial….” “Wait, you’re okay, Twilight? Fwew, I live another day.” Twilight looked down at her quill, held in her telekinetic grip. She moved it to the top of the page and pressed it down. “.... You okay there, Twilight Sparkle?” “Yes! Yes. Yep. I just…. I just need a moment. Or two. Or three. Or four. Or–” “Just get it out of your system,” I said, sipping my drink. Twilight dropped the paper and quill, hopped out of her seat, and began hopping on her hooves, like she was dancing. “This is amazing! This could change everything we know about everything! Magic! Biology! Astronomy! Physics! History! Linguistics! Mathematics! Everything under the sun, and more! Does Princess Celestia know about this? What have you told her? Does the scientific community– no, most certainly not, otherwise I would have heard about it! I can’t imagine what an alien society would even look like! Was it like ours? Was it full of the non-euclidean spherical architecture like the aliens in Spike’s comic books? Was it some incomprehensible amalgamation of physics and concepts we cannot comprehend? I can’t imagine what leaps you’ve managed to achieve! Have you managed to disprove Euclidean Geometry’s Fifth Axiom? Do you also have Princesses like we do? What tribes of humans are there? Can they fly like pegasi? What kind of spells– spells! Oh my Celestia, how could I even forget the most important study there is?! Oh, I just have to know! What kind of spells do humans cast? Have you figured out how to commonly multi-cast? What kind of new fields of magic do you have that we don’t? Have you managed to crack Starswirl’s Conundrum? Oh, you probably don’t even know what that is– unless you also had Starswirl?! Was your world like Equus? Was–” “Breathe, Twilight Sparkle!” I bellowed, rising from my chair and pressing a hoof to her chest to still her. On cue, Twilight stopped hopping from hoof to hoof and took a long, deep breath. Then, she let it out slowly. After half a minute, she stepped back from me and smiled shyly. “Uh…. Do I say sorry, or thanks?” She asked, tracing a circle on the ground with a hoof. I shrugged, “I said get it out of your system, so thanks.” Twilight smiled, “Thanks, Your Majesty.” “Don’t mention it. Now, you might want to decide what questions you want answered today…” Twilight sighed, “Well I had a long checklist of questions to ask, but this changes everything! I’ll have to come up with a whole new list!” “Well, how about I go wrangle a maid or servant and figure out a way to get the kitchen to whip up some snacks for us, while you come up with a new list?” I suggested. “Do changelings eat pony foods?” I nodded, “We don’t need to, but things that taste nice… taste nice.” Twilight looked around for her pad of paper and quill, and quickly retrieved them and jotted down something. “... Right, I’ll leave you to your list, then,” I said, heading for the door. Twilight looked up from her notes, “Okay. Thanks for this opportunity, King Phasma! You won’t regret it!” I entered the sitting room with several floating trays behind me. Twilight raised a piece of paper covered in writing when she saw me enter. “I’m ready to start again!” She declared. “That’s great, Twilight. Hope you don’t mind, but I’ve brought a friend,” I said, setting the trays of food down on a spare table. Behind me, Celestia cleared her throat, “Good afternoon, Twilight.” Twilight jumped from her seat and bowed to the pony-sized alicorn, “Princess! You didn’t say you were going to be attending this meeting!” “I wasn’t planning to, but I ran into Phasma here while I was grabbing something to snack on myself, and he mentioned that you were very enthusiastic to meet him. I realized just how little time I spend with my own student, and decided to take the opportunity to catch up. That is, if you don’t mind…?” Twilight shook her head, “Of course not!” Celestial chuckled, “I hope you don’t feel pressured into saying yes, Twilight.” “I would never, Princess.” For some reason, I don’t think either of us rulers bought that. “Well, help yourselves,” I said, motioning to the snacks I had the enslaved cooks prepare. ‘Let’s just hope the fact that I said it’s for Twilight Sparkle means that none of this is poisoned. There were quite a few ponies in the kitchens who looked…. less than pleased with my presence.’ The cooks had chippered up when I mentioned the unicorn. Apparently, Twilight practically grew up in the castle, and she was sorely missed by the staff. Lack of social skills notwithstanding, Twilight was apparently an adorable and well-mannered filly. “Hey Celestia, do your cooks do carnivore or omnivore diets?” I asked, getting comfortable. “Of course. I’ve hosted countless dignitaries from Griffonia in the past,” Celestia said, helping herself to the snacks. “Would you like to sample their food?” “Potentially, yeah. I kinda miss eating meat…” “Changelings are omnivores, then?” Twilight asked. “Mhmm. Love is our mainstay, with everything else just kinda for show. Oh, and water. Love and water.” Twilight jotted that down, “So changelings are like flowers then?” “.... Yes Twilight, you were invaded and beaten up by a bunch of walking flowers,” I deadpanned. Celestia suppressed a chuckle. But when she saw me pour a glass, her eyes widened. “Where?” She demanded. “In that set of cabinets,” I said, pointing to them. “I’ve fully stocked several rooms, this one included. Luna got the bill.” Celestia bounded over to the stash of drinks, “I swear by my sun this was not my intention when I decided to follow you. But had I known, it would have been.” “So you just use me for my booze connection? Oh Celestia, you wound me so…. and also make me a very rich changeling.” Twilight watched our exchange with some confusion and trepidation. “King Phasma,” she began, “if you’re ready to begin, I’ve got a long list of things to cover.” I nodded, “Sure.” What followed was a hoofful of hours of being grilled on everything about Earth, from mathematics to democracy. “What do you mean, ‘there’s no magic on Earth?’” Twilight found the idea of a magicless existence to be anathema to everything she understood. That is to say, she was enraptured with the concept. Explaining the basics of an electricity-run society was a learning experience for both her and Celestia. “Equestria is already starting on the very first fundamental levels of these breakthroughs,” I explained. “In fact, I may or may not have positioned myself to be the key supporter and benefactor of the inventors of these first concepts. Thorax, who is one of my closest friends, is dating a pony whose parents are at the center of this new paradigm shift.” “I need more paper,” Twilight muttered. “This is so fascinating. I never would have guessed that magic-void inventions would reach any level of popularity or success!” “Perhaps that is my personal tutoring biasing you,” Celestia suggested. “I have put great emphasis on the magical side of your education, after all. This sounds very interesting, Phasma. Perhaps I should meet these ponies, and see for myself just what they are bringing to Equestria…” I grunted, “If you’re worried that they are inventing anything military related, I made sure to steer them away from that topic. Not that they needed me to.” “I appreciate that,” Celestia said, sipping her drink. “I’m glad that’s a conversation we don’t need to have.” “Yeah, the last thing I want is to bring human-style war to here.” Twilight tilted her head, “Why’s that? I mean, aside from it being war-related?” “Wars on Earth are bloody and deadly. This little spat between our Kingdoms is nothing more than a skirmish compared to what can happen when things take a turn for the worst back on Earth. There’s no real way to non-lethally take out your enemies, so the death toll tends to get quite high…” “Does this have to do with there being no magic?” Celestia asked. I shrugged, “I guess. There’s a hundred and one variations of stun spells available. There’s no stun crossbow bolt, though.” “I see,” Celestia murmured. “And with the technological leaps you have alluded to, I assume your species have long since moved past mere crossbows?” Twilight asked. “Got it in one.” Twilight nodded, “My next question has to do with travel. What differences between Equus and Earth are there in that regard?” I laughed, “More than you can imagine. In fact…” I trailed off. “What is it, Phasma?” Celestia asked. “... I wish Luna was here. This is a lot of stuff she’d be interested to hear about. ‘Specially the war stuff.” Celestia set her empty glass down, “That seems like quite the delayed revelation. What sparked it?” I looked up at the ceiling, “The farthest a human traveled… was to the moon itself.” Celestia and Twilight were shocked. “That's quite the feat... Luna will want to know everything, I am certain. After dinner we shall catch her up on this conversation, and continue where we left off,” Celestia said. “Twilight, you are welcome to attend dinner with us, since you are likely to spend the night here, rather than at home. Or, I suppose, at your parent’s home, now that you live in Ponyville.” “Thank you, Princess. I would love to,” the brown-noser brown-nosed. “I’m pretty sure Luna wants me to help her with some work she has to do, and I’ve got my own stuff as well,” I pointed out. “We have some time before dinner. I’ll inform my sister that she will have to put off some of her work, while you do what you can before we convene for the meal. She’ll be glad for the time off,” Celestia said. “In fact….” “In fact?” I asked. Celestia smiled. It wasn’t a friendly smile, nor an involuntary one. No, it was a predatory smile. “... Nothing,” she said. “Obviously not. What is it?” “I’ll see you at dinner, Phasma,” she said, rising from her Celestia-shaped indent in her chair and heading for the door. I rushed after her, “No, wait! You’re up to something!” “I’ll, uh, just be visiting my parents, then!” Twilight called out after us.