//------------------------------// // Chapter XIX: Growth // Story: Astral Aegis // by Silvak //------------------------------// After the whole incident with the Crystal Mirror, I was taken to the infirmary where I was scanned for any traces of magic being used on me. Besides my own teleportation spell and the levitation spell, there was no residual of any other spell being cast on me. Even the entire room the mirror was in was examined as well, only for nothing else to turn up. With no evidence that somepony was influencing me, this of course led to one conclusion; that I was starting to lose my grip on reality, or so Cadance thought. Regardless of what I thought, the next day Cadance brought in several books on psychology that she used to test how sane I was. Even after I insisted for her to stop with all the tests, she pressed on anyway until I had enough and teleported out of the room. Which I immediately regretted when I appeared on the roof of one of the castle's towers. This left me stuck there until a guard found me, for I didn't want to risk casting the spell again and end up several hundred feet above the ground. Though I did learn never to teleport when I'm buckin angry. During my next meeting with Shining, he wanted to directly observe the differences my training style would have from the standard one for the Royal Guards. He quickly changed his mind when I told him that I would be lobbing boulders at his troops till only one pony was standing. Instead, I observed Shining putting some of the guard through a training run on battle formations, which I took notes on due to never actually knowing how to lead a squad during battle. While Shining and I were getting along for the most part due to mutual exchange of information, Cadance on the other hoof was starting to reach her limit with me, which became really apparent the next day. "Are you okay?" I mockingly asked as I observed Cadance struggling to keep a smile on her face. "I'm fine, just peachy. Let's just focus on helping you." "Alright then, so which are we going to handle today, my anger issues or your belief that I'm going crazy?" Grinning at Cadance, I saw that her smile quickly turned into an annoyed frown, until her eyes brighten. "Aether, just how old are you?" "Errr... in pony years, I'm closing on my twenty-eighth birthday," I answered, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. "I see. Tell me Aether, have you felt anything odd with your body the past few weeks?" "Considering that I've only been a pony for a few months, I wouldn't know if something is odd or not." "Then have you been experiencing unusual feelings for any ponies recently?" Keeping my suspicious look, I began to recall that I was feeling odd around some mares and a couple stallions I came across from both the Ponyville residents and my squad a week ago, though I had no idea why I was getting those feelings. "Well, I had some weird feelings about some ponies a week ago, but I don't see... how..." I started to say before Cadance's muzzle split into a wide grin. "I think I know another reason why you've been so angry Aether," Cadance declared. "Oh, and what is it this time?" "You're going through puberty," Cadance answered, folding her hooves over her barrel, her smug smile growing wider. "...What's 'puberty'?" I asked, causing her to almost stumble out of her chair. "You don't know what puberty is?" "I'm still learning more words Cadance, I'm not going to know every word in the Equestrian language in just a few months," I deadpanned. "Okay... well, puberty is the time where ponies tend to develop more feelings for the other gender and this is when their bo—" Cadance started to explain before she stopped due to seeing the growing look of horror on my face. "No... no just no, I can't be, I just can't..." "I know you hate to hear it, but it makes the most logical sense. While it may be a bit early for your age, it's not unbelievable that you're an early bloomer. Further more puberty would also help to explain some of your anger issues." "But I just... what... no..." I started to say before I shook my head clear of my confusion and pointed a hoof at her. "You! There must be a spell to fix this!" "...You want a spell to fix puberty? Do you know how crazy that is?" "I don't care! Just cast the spell or do something!" I shrieked, flailing my forelegs around in a panic. "Aether, there's no spell that can fix this. There is nothing anypony can do about it. Besides, didn't you go through puberty? Judging by your... reaction, I think you kn—" Cadance said before I rushed over to her and clamped my hooves onto her shoulders. "I am not going to deal with heats!" I screamed at the top of my lungs while shaking Cadance back and forth. "I don't want to have feelings for stallions, nor do I want my head being influenced every time I'm in heat! I especially don't want to ha—" "Aether, calm down!" Cadance yelled, breaking my hold on her as she grabbed my own shoulders with her hooves, holding me still. "Why are you so bothered by this?" "Hello! I was a male before I came here Princess, do you think I'll be comfortable with something like mating with another male‽" "Aether, you need to calm down!" "How can I be calm about something live-changing like puberty? Wait, I know the answer, I can't!" Frowning, Cadance pulled away from me as she said, "Aether, do what I do. Trust me, this will help you." She then proceeded with a breathing exercise that I saw Twilight do a couple times before. Considering that my mind was going all over the place after hearing that I might have hit puberty, I actually followed her instructions to the letter, repeating the exercise until I realized that it was working as I started to calm down a bit. "Now Aether, can you please tell me why you were panicking about puberty? Of all reactions, I didn't think you would react so badly to hearing the news that you're starting to mature into marehood." "Hello, 'puberty' means I'll be getting feelings for colts and stallions, I don't want to have feelings for them since I was male in my past life!" "How about fillies and mares?" Cadance asked, causing me to close my mouth for a minute as I stared at her. "Huh? You too? Why... oh forget it," I replied, my exasperated tone showing just how frustrated I was getting. Cocking an eyebrow, Cadance pressed on. "What's wrong with having feelings for the same gender? Was it inappropriate from where you came from?" "Well... for lower class species like my original one... yeah. Though the reason for that was trying to preserve the species when possible. Regardless, I do not want to deal with romance!" "Why do you have such an aversion to romance?" Cadance asked, her look not only taking on one of shock but of hurt for some reason. "It's just a mess; there's the showing of one's love, the things that ponies do in private, and oddly enough the judging of other ponies. Oh, and the pain of losing your mate if they die. Which is high in the job I used to have, which may be my future job too when I get old enough," I explained, my tone becoming sour at the end with the thought of leading a team into another dimension in the future. "Aether, did you actually have any romantic feelings for anypony before you came to our world?" "...No, I didn't had any of those feelings." Her face taking on a sad expression when she heard my answer, she started to say, "Nopony shoul—" before I decided to cut her off. "I was a part of a dying species Cadance, to the point that I had no potential mates at the city I once called home. And before you bring that up, the need to survive, the distrust all the poor class aliens had for one another, and the differences every species had with one another served to really prevent anypony from having feelings for a member of a different species. You could say that I was raised in an environment that discouraged any romantic feelings from arising. Also, yeah I know, it sounds horrible, though I know much more worse than you think since I lived through it." During my little explanation, I had my head in my hooves due to remembering what my life was fated to be before I came to Equus. The best I could ever hope for was to get enough money that I could live in a cheap home eating paste for the rest of my life without having to be sent to another dimension to make some more money to survive. At that point, I realized just how hopeless my life was, where no matter what, I would have died alone, either being killed on some unknown planet, or wasting away in a heartless society. That was when Cadance placed a hoof on my right foreleg, drawing my attention to her calming face. "Aether, I think, barring the effects of puberty and a couple other things, that all your anger is from your past. I know you may not like what I say, but you need to let go of it. Talk to somepony about it, get it off your chest, but you shouldn't let it weigh on your mind all the time. You're in a better place now Aether, a place where you can be happy, enjoy your time with your friends, maybe even find that special somepony that you could live with together in peace." For the first time, I didn't have some smart retort to toss at Cadance because I just couldn't stab my twisted view of everything into her attempts to make me feel better. That or I was still in shock from the realization that I was probably going through puberty. Letting out a sigh, I admitted, "Fine, you have a point... I'll... try to find somepony I feel that I can fully trust to be able to handle my past." As Cadance was about to say something, I held up a hoof to stop her in her tracks. "Not you cause you will probably faint, you did at my broken leg. I just need to find a pony that handle all the horrible things I have experienced in my past life." Cadance pouted at being denied the opportunity to help me better myself further, though she did manage to compose herself. "Then we just have to figure out the right pony. Maybe Twil—" "No, she will turn it into a research project." "How about your foster pare—" "I really don't want to risk giving her disturbing images that will haunt her for the rest of her life." "Well, maybe one of the other Eleme—" "I highly doubt it, they have some sort of... naivety to them, like most ponies do." My refusals caused Cadance to release a grunt of frustration, as she tapped a hoof against her chin before her eyes brighten up. "How about Auntie Luna‽" "...Isn't she... I don't know, busy with princess duties like Princess Celestia?" I asked with a tilt of my head, only for Cadance to let out a sheepish chuckle at first. "I'm sure that she has time to lend an ear to your past. Also, she has seen enough nightmares and horrible things in her own lifetime to be able to withstand whatever horrors you have witnessed." Scrunching my muzzle in thought for a moment, I finally replied, "Well... I guess she could do, especially if she does have time on hooves for me... but if you think she would be ideal to listen to my past, why didn't Princess Celestia send me to her first instead of you? No offense." My inquiry caused Cadance to tap her hooves together nervously as she answered, "Well, it's because you two have some similarities..." "Like what? And how would that prevent her being the pony Celestia would turn to first in this matter? And just say it, I really don't like ponies dodging around the issue if they have a tough time saying it. Even if you have to insult me." "Well... alright, you both have a temper issue, yours though is worse than hers. She also may be too... sympathetic to you due to both of you having to adapt to Equestrian society, you from an alien one while Luna from an archaic one. Also... you're both  more prone to more blunt methods." Sighing, I simply rubbed a hoof against my forehead, before saying, "Fine, there may be a point to having Luna being my... 'therapist'. But since you admit that it's less likely my age and... puberty and more of my past bearing down on me, I guess there is no other choice but for her to be the next solution to this matter. So are we finally done with this therapy stuff?" After shuffling for a while, Cadance said, "Well, I would like to discuss with you about your desire to avoid romance. I really think you shouldn't avoid it completely. Just give it a chance, you may end up liking it in the end." "Oh sweet Celestia, why is it that every time anything that is love-related is brought up in regards to me, that everypony needs to lecture me on it? And why are you more determined about it than other ponies? Are you the Princess of Love or something like that? After a moment of silence, Cadance just blushed as a disconcerting smile spread over her face. "Actually... I am the Princess of Love." "Oh, you got to be buckin kidding me."