Shining smiled as we headed back inside, “Well, I think that went rather w–”
“Don’t jinx it!” I cut him off.
“You are being too superstitious, Phasma,” Luna said. “Your speech was fine, and our ponies seemed to take the news rather well.”
There had been applause and a lot of picture taking. For the most part, it seemed to me that the emotion of the crowd was tipped toward elation and relief. The war was developing in Equestria’s favor, now with Celestia back and the changelings befriended.
“I suppose they don’t need to fully understand what’s going on to be happy,” I guessed. “Celestia is back, who cares why she was gone. Changelings are allying with ponies, who cares why. I wonder how long it will take for the conspiracy theories to set in.”
“I’m certain that we’ll be answering a whole lot of those tomorrow,” Celestia sighed. “Let’s just be thankful that the knowledge that you are capable of mind control is a state secret. There will only be a few accusations of mind control, rather than considerable amounts.”
“He can do what?!” Twilight Sparkle yelled, putting on the brakes and screeching to a halt.
Rarity played devil's advocate, “Now Twilight, there’s a difference between capability and desire–”
“I do it once and suddenly it’s all I’m known for,” I complained.
Rarity froze mid-sentence.
“Well you have this well in hoof, Phasma,” Celestia smiled. “I’ve got some work to attend to. If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather put off resuming negotiations until tomorrow. I have… more to think about than I’d wish.”
I nodded, “That’s fine. I’ll just follow Luna around like a bad smell.”
“I have some paperwork that will need taking care of. There is a lot that needs a Princess’s touch and approval, as Daybreaker set her roots and corruption deep.”
“I guess I’ll get Coxa to bring me some paperwork to do, then.”
“Are we not going to talk about the mind control thing?!” Twilight yelled.
Celestia softly giggled, “You all can have a nice long conversation with Phasma together. If you’d kindly stay in town for the night, I would love to see you tomorrow, Twilight. Otherwise, I can communicate through letters, like Daybreaker did.”
“Oh! Of course I can do that, Princess!”
“Wonderful. Can you come by after breakfast, say… around seven?”
“Absolutely, Princess.”
“Then I shall see you again. Farewell to you all. If any of you ever need anything, my door is always open. Unless it isn’t. In which case, Luna can help, right Luna?”
“Of course,” Luna replied. “However, I should get to my work, too. I shall be in my study, Phasma.”
“Goodbye, Princesses!” Twilight said with unrestrained enthusiasm.
The rest of us said– or half muttered, in a certain yellow pegasus’s case– our goodbyes as the sisters departed.
“It was nice seeing you again, Twily,” Shining said. “I’ve got work that desperately needs my attention, though. It’s a shame that last night was the first time we saw each other in months. We need to hang out again soon.”
“How about tomorrow afternoon– that is, if the Princess doesn’t need me all day?” She suggested.
“I can find the time for you, I’m sure. I’ll find you in the palace tomorrow, then. Take care, Twily!” Shining waved as he turned to leave. “And I’ll see you around, Cady.”
“Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave,” Cadence muttered, watching Shining Armor walk away.
‘Damn horny ponies. You’re like an all-hours buffet, Cadence.’
Cadence turned back to the Elements of Harmony, “Hello Twilight. We did the dance last night, but I understand if you want to do it again…?”
Twilight Sparkle looked like she was about to yell the word ‘yes,’ but she froze and her head slowly turned towards me.
“Nnnnno…. I’m good for now. I think there’s more important things that need to be addressed first.”
“If you’re hoping to hit me with a rainbow laser beam, I’m afraid you missed your window of opportunity,” I said. “Luna already has dibs on reforming me. Besides, I don’t want to be turned to stone, sent to the moon, or whatever other horrible fates your magical rocks have in store for me.”
“We’ll only blast ya if you deserve it!” Rainbow Dash said, punching the air. “And last we met, you definitely deserved it! But uh… if the Princesses all say you’re good, then we’re good.”
“But what’s this about mind control?” Applejack pressed. “Don’t try to change the subject, Mister. You ain’t sneaking that one by.”
I huffed, “A Division-P Inquisitor discovered my survival. It was either silence her or tip off Daybreaker that I was alive. I went with the whole mind control thing because there was no way to capture her, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to let her go.”
“Division-P? Ain’t them those unicorns in fancy clothing and hats?” Applejack asked.
“Yes, those guys.”
“And it was in self-defense?” Twilight asked.
“Yes,” I said again.
She continued, “Was there no other way to disable this Inquisitor? Mind control is a very powerful spell. You could have easily hurt her, or worse.”
“Maybe there was, but I was pressed for time,” I said. “Need I remind you that I had few allies, and was surrounded by enemies. Slipping up would mean a fate worse than death. So considering the fact that the Inquisitor apparently suffered no long term consequences, I see little issue.”
“I think we all take issue with the fact that you feel little guilt with using such a potentially dangerous spell,” Cadence explained.
“Oh, come on. No one’s giving me flak for murder, and I’ve done that plenty of times.”
Fluttershy gasped, “M–m–m–!”
“You did what?!” Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow, and Applejack all yelled.
“I only killed a pony once, and that was also in self-defense. Look, I’ve got things to do, so if–”
“Now just wait an apple-buckin’ minute, King Phasma!” Applejack ordered. “Just how is it you can go around, talkin’ about friendship and cooperation when you admit to killing, and feel no guilt about it?!”
“Do the other Princesses know about this?” Twilight asked Cadence.
Cadence sighed, “Yes. It’s a topic that will be covered in our negotiations later. Auntie Celestia plans on– ah, perhaps I shouldn’t say.”
“Perhaps you should,” I suggested.
‘Celestia is planning something, eh? That can’t be good.’
“She just talked about things with Auntie Luna and I. Look, we’re not planning anything to surprise you,” Cadence said, reading my thoughts. “We’re just planning Equestria’s side on this all, and discussing how we want to handle the more complicated subjects of this treaty.”
“So Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are going to confront King Phasma about killing ponies?” Rainbow asked.
“Yes,” Cadence repeated.
“So they’re going to arrest him, right?” Rainbow continued.
Cadence paused, “.... This is far more complicated than any of you realize.”
“Just what’s so complicated about murder?” Applejack spat.
Cadence grimaced, “There’s a bigger picture here.”
“So you’re just going to ignore–” Rainbow began, but quickly switched tracks. “We’re all taking issue with this, right girls?” She looked around her for support.
Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack all nodded. Fluttershy shrunk when the attention was on her, but held her ground and nodded, too. Pinkie Pie was…. Vibrating intensely. Rather than call attention to that, the ponies all faced me again.
“Right!” Rainbow said. “It’s all agreed by us, uh, Elements of Harmony, that you… ugh, Twilight take over.”
“Huh?”
“I was gonna use our hero status, because that’s what we are, to declare that he isn’t allowed to hurt ponies. Or something. Look, you figure it out. We all agree that this isn’t cool, right?”
Twilight blinked, “.... Yes? I think I see what you’re getting at, but if all three Princesses say they will handle it, then I think we can safely leave it to them.”
Rainbow grunted out of frustration, “No! I… we… ugh!”
Rarity spoke up, “I believe what Rainbow is trying to say is that we should use our status to officially condemn his actions. Which I agree with.”
‘They can do that?’
“Yeah!” Applejack stomped.
“I’m not– I’m not going against the Princesses,” Twilight said. “We can talk to them about all this–”
“Oh you can bet yer keister we’ll be talkin’ to the Princess about this. But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it now. You!” Applejack pointed at me. “The Princesses might abide you hurtin’ ponies, but we certainly don’t!”
“Then it’s a good thing I don’t give a shit about your opinion.”
“Phasma, you pig-headed brute!” Cadence groaned. “Just explain your side to them!”
I sighed, “It was also in self-defense. Notice the theme, yet? The pony that I murdered tried to have me killed, right in the middle of Manehattan. It went poorly for him.”
“Yeah but you’re like, almost as strong as the alicorns, right?” Rainbow asked. “You could easily have just zapped him or whatever!”
Applejack nodded, “Rainbow’s right, with great power comes great–”
I cut her off, “I do have great responsibility, and that responsibility is to my people. They all need me to keep them safe, and to make morally dubious decisions about avoiding paying taxes. If I die because I didn’t use everything I had at my disposal, suddenly the changelings have no leader, nor any way to fight back against literally anyone else on this planet. If you haven’t noticed, the only reason why we got so far with the invasion was thanks to surprise. There are less than thirty thousand changelings alive.”
“Fear is the killer of the mind,” Cadence quoted. “But it also isn’t an excuse for harsh actions. This is all going to be covered later, so if you six really want to be present during that part of the negotiations, you’re going to have to stay here in Canterlot. Rooms can be provided for you all, if that’s what you wish.”
“That’s very generous of you, and quite tempting, but I told Sweetie I’d only be gone for a day,” Rarity said.
“Same,” Applejack said.
“You told Sweetie Belle that you’re going to be gone for a day?” Rainbow asked.
“Yes, Dash, I told Sweetie Belle that I was going to be gone for a day,” Applejack said in an utterly dry and sarcastic tone.
When everyone turned to Pinkie Pie for her answer, her vibrations intensified.
“Spike and I can stay in Canterlot,” Twilight offered.
“On second thought, the farm can survive without me for a few days.”
“Sounds like you girls have this all covered. I’ve got…. Important naps to return to,” Rainbow said.
“That’s lovely,” I said. “If we’re done here?”
“We ain’t finished, but we’re done for now,” Applejack glared at me.
“I, uh, have to go take care of my animals,” Fluttershy muttered.
Rainbow shook her head, “That line of conversation ended, like, ten minutes ago, Flutters.”
‘What a fantastic waste of my time.’
“Oh, and one last thing,” I said. “Not a word of any of this leaves the castle. If any of you say anything about what was discussed, I will know, and you do not want to make an enemy of me.”
“Are ya threatening us?” The farmer asked.
“Yes, Applejack, I am threatening you. Your idea of condemning me for actions you know little about can get innocent changelings murdered. If you spread any information, you jeopardize my changelings’ standing within Equestria. That puts in danger everything I have ever fought for. Think about what each of you would do to protect your family, and you get the idea of what you’re going up against. Go home, and leave the politics to the alicorns and royals.”
The silence in Luna’s study was broken only by the sound of quills scribbling.
Luna suddenly grunted, “What does…. Ugh, does this make sense to you, Phasma? ‘To promote ur-ban-ization, a tax relief should be provided to the….’ fuck me, what is this word? Here, just look at it.”
‘Yes, come to the dark side, Luna! We have better swears!’
I took the paper out of the air when Luna levitated it over from her desk. I was set up on a smaller, significantly less fancy desk in Luna’s office. If I ended up staying in the castle permanently, I would demand– ‘I mean, ask politely,’ – an office for myself. Likely, a whole wing, if I ended up moving the Fifth Hive’s command structure to Canterlot Castle.
I cleared my throat and read the pointed out section, “To promote urbanization, a tax relief should be provided to the bourgeoisie to facilitate the movement of funds from the…. Wait, Equestria has factories? I was certain you guys were still on a hovel-based economy.”
“The request makes sense to you?” She asked.
“Yeah, it’s rich factory owners asking for a tax break. Their suggested reason, the idea that the money flows downwards, is completely false, though. The real interesting thing is that Equestria has factories. Where is this….?”
“Ah, the nobles’ favorite pastime: wasting my time. Another request to deny, then.”
I clicked my tongue, “Hey wait a second, I know these ponies.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, they’re Double Diamond’s parents. That’s Thorax’s coltfriend. You should grant their request.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve started negotiating a deal to become their key investor.”
Luna rolled up the paper and swatted me on the nose.
I wilted, “Aw come on, I– hold on, someone’s coming, Luna.”
The door swung upon, and a certain angry bright pink alicorn burst into the room. I had left Cadence with the Elements half an hour ago, so she must have been busy seeing them off and hanging out with Twilight Sparkle, who apparently knew her already.
I sensed her anger before she had arrived.
She looked around, “Where is he? You! Phasma!”
“Me, Phasma.”
“Are you intentionally shoving your head up your plot?”
“Only when it’s funny. What are we talking about?”
Luna leaned back into her chair, “This should be good…”
Cadence stomped, “The Elements of Harmony, that’s what we’re talking about. All you had to do was explain things calmly, tell them you are genuinely remorseful and want to be better, and they’d be happy! In fact, I’m certain they would offer to be friends or something similar! Instead, you all but declared war on them due to your own stubbornness!”
“I figured you’d appreciate honesty over lying.”
“You’re telling me that you’re not sorry at all that you killed somepony, or used mind control on another?”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I had to.”
“That doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t feel guilty over it.”
I sighed, “I don’t feel guilty, either. Both were pricks who deserved what they got. In fact, I tried to avoid conflict as much as possible with Count Double Dealings.”
“Then why didn’t you say that to the mares earlier?! You have these explanations, and you just don’t use them!” Cadence facehooved, “You should try to work on avoiding conflict with others, rather than galloping straight into it.”
I shrugged, “It slipped my mind at the time. Besides, Cadence, I’m not really remorseful for those actions, which I suspect they will take issue with anyways. I’d rather not waste my time arguing with a bunch of ponies when I have much better things to do, like acting as Luna’s thesaurus.”
“Phasma has been exceptionally helpful with the modern linguistics that fly over my head,” Luna explained.
“That sounds lovely, but what about the Element bearers?! You really dropped the ball with this, Phasma. You can’t go around making enemies and expect ponies to be okay with that.”
“I’ll live,” I said.
“Cadence is right,” Luna sighed. “Whatever it was you were arguing over, I recommend not making enemies of the Element bearers. Need I remind you that none of this would be possible without them? I owe everything to them, and the last thing I want is animosity between you all.”
I shook my head, “They’re angry that I killed the Count, and used mind control against the Inquisitor. I’m not sorry for either of those actions. Even if I never do either of those actions again, I’m sure they’ll still hold it against me.”
Luna frowned, “Right, like they hold it against me for trying to end the world. We are quite capable of forgiveness, Phasma. Give peace a chance.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked. “I’m not sorry for what I did! Absolutely not. In fact, killing that bastard was cathartic! I will not apologize!”
Cadence stared me down, and I met her stare. She flinched first.
“Whatever. Celestia will deal with all this later, there’s no point getting into an argument right now. You try to get through his thick skull, Luna.”
Cadence slammed the door shut behind her.
“From what I know, I do not know if I would be remorseful about the Count’s death if I were in your position,” Luna began, “but I do know that I would want to mend the bridges with the ponies around me. You will be seeing the Elements more, given our positions. Talk with them and try to find some sort of common understanding. If you do not… Well, I am not sure what to do then. I am far from an expert on these matters.”
I rubbed my eyes, “It’s not up to me whether or not we move past this. I’m perfectly fine with just moving on with our lives. They’re the ones who take issue.”
Luna glared at me.
“What? I know you ponies detest death, but I don’t. That’s not going to change. Not even back on Earth was there this much resistance against self-defense.”
“Then expect no small amount of discourse between Equestria and the Fifth Hive.”
I sighed as I turned back to my work, “Maybe that was inevitable. We just have radically different morals, so no matter our level of trust, there is always going to be some friction.”
Luna yawned and rubbed her eyes, “Alright. I believe that is enough work for today. The accursed paperwork has been reduced in strength, the moon has been risen, and dinner has been consumed. I believe we are done for the day, Phasma.”
She looked over her desk, past the half-burned candles and their trailing smoke, over to Phasma’s adorably tiny desk. The changeling was slumped over, burying his head in his hooves.
Rising from her chair, Luna quietly walked over to him, and peered over his shoulder at his work. His head was resting on some papers of assorted forms and note sheets.
“Phasma? Are you awake?” She whispered.
She prodded him once, but he did not even stir.
“I suppose not, then.”
Luna leaned over him, wrapped a foreleg around him, and teleported them to her room. They appeared three hooves length above the bed, and fell the rest of the way onto the bed. The motion, while significantly more smooth than the horrendous, crime-against-magic that Phasma called changeling teleportation, should have been more than enough commotion and jostling to wake the changeling.
Yet the only reaction was him jerking awake, before mumbling to himself and then he fell back asleep.
Luna rolled off of the bed and looked back at Phasma, “I swear, you could sleep through a war.”
Shaking her head, she went to her attached bathroom to prepare for the night’s slumber.