I was drowning.
A vast expanse of water and ice slurry nearly claimed me as I struggled to stay afloat. Like in the river months before, my lack of experience with this new body was damning me. I kicked, thrashed, and gasped for air each time I pushed through the surface layer of ice slush.
Each struggle was awarded with a glimpse of the star above. They felt right. Natural. Familiar. The Equus night sky always felt a bit alien and unfamiliar. This night sky was a familiar sea, sitting above this frigid one that was killing me.
My limbs were going numb and my efforts less successful with each lungful of air. I clenched my eyes shut as I went under again.
However, the cold faded away, and the pull of the waves against me had vanished altogether. Furthermore, I could no longer hear the crash of waves and the grinding of ice chunks against each other.
With a gasp of warm, pleasant air, I opened my eyes and found myself lying prone on the stone tiles within that damned pyramid of the Third Hive.
‘Ugh. That sucked. Note to self, never drown.’
After coughing out water for half a minute, I finished catching my breath and drip-drying as I studied the throne room in its former glory. This time, instead of a bleak and ruined chamber, the High Altar was anything but bleak. Where the central pedestal was once empty, a tall throne of gold, lapis lazuli, silver, and other metals dominated the room. At the top of its high back, a statue of a spider with nine legs on each side lay perched. It's front two pairs of legs were outstretched, forming two parts of two circles.
The walls around the throne were covered with banners, tapestries, murals, paintings, and stories in general. One section was dedicated to the depiction of a changeling royal in armor slaying an Eastern Dragon of some sort. Another section showed a city burning. A third yet depicted an age where the trees were rainbows and the sky a strange shade of pink.
'Who let their nymph doodle on the… Oh wait a second, that's the Age of Discord, isn't it?'
When I turned away from the terrifying implications of letting a child's drawing become the template for the world, I jumped back in surprise when I saw that the throne was no longer unoccupied. As I turned, I swore I saw my own reflection sitting on the throne, but when my head stopped it was Luna sitting there.
She waved. I waved back and moved closer.
"What is this place?"
"It's… uh. No, wait, something happened…"
Luna frowned, "Is that why you are moving right now?"
"Oh! Luna! I… I was attacked by a Nightmare! How could I have forgotten…?"
Luna hopped off the chair and inspected me closely. Her horn glowed when she began to scan me.
"When? How much pain are you in? What do you last remember?"
The details were hazy.
"I… it happened just now. I got hit by something, something bad. It hurt, too. Then I… I was here. Dreaming, this is. I was drowning. Then I wasn't."
"I'm not detecting anything. That is bad, just so you know. You're too far for me to help, not to mention the predicament of staying hidden from Daybreaker. Head to Vallachia, where my loyal thestrals can help you."
"Vallachia? How… do I tell my people to go there?"
"Concentrate on the message you want to send. Focus on speaking the words. I will guide you the rest of the way. We must be quick, Phasma! If your memory is already being altered, then the Rot is already taking root! The city of Trotsylvania, Phasma, send them there!"
I swayed on my hooves, "Rot. Right, yeah. Ahem. We have to go to Trotsylvania, the thestrals will help us."
I pictured myself saying the words: the shape my mouth would make, the movements of my tongue, the exhale that formed each word.
"Again!" Luna yelled, her horn glowing again.
"Go to Trotsylvania, the thestrals will help–” I said before breaking off into a cough.
Luna leaned in close, "Again!"
I shivered as I felt her body warmth when she leaned close. The ice-dip didn’t exactly leave me feeling very well. I managed to resist the growing urge to hug the warm, fluffy pony and continued trying to make sure that I didn’t die. Though it was a close call.
"Trotsylvania, Vallachi! Thestrals! Help! Now!"
Luna sighed as her horn dimmed, "The message has been sent. Fear not, my acolytes shall aid thee- shall aid you. They are experienced in the matter of removing Nightmares."
"That's… good?"
"For you."
"Hey, Luna?"
"Yes?"
"You came at the right time. Thanks. I, uh, don't know what would have happened without you."
She smiled, "Don't thank me yet, young Phasma."
It must have happened a number of times before I caught it. In my addled state, it was hard at times to think straight: like being shoved into a box and thrown off a cliff, I still felt woozy and dizzy from my efforts to not drown in my own dream. My chest still stung in fact. So when I finally caught the little detail, I realized just how much I fucked up.
"You know something? I've noticed that Luna avoids contractions. Even with my grammar lessons, she avoids them like the plague. I'll admit, you've done a better job this time. Took me longer to catch it, but I’m sure a lot of that can be blamed on the whole drowning thing.”
The thing which looked like Luna stiffened for a moment before smiling.
"The specifics of you lesser beings always tends to escape our notice, it's true. But the deed is done. You won't be getting a second message through, Crier of the Damned. You have discovered the truth far, far too late. As entertaining as it would be to see you try to send another, don’t waste your breath. This is not anything like when Sloth attempted to dig its claws into you."
I gave up halfway through the message I was trying to will into existence. The Nightmare smiled. Then, the fake Luna vanished.
“.... Hello?”
I spun around. With the alicorn gone, I was alone in the room.
“Hello? This was supposed to be the part where you monologue and gloat, giving Luna enough time to appear and actually save me. Hello? C’mon, this wasn’t part of the script.”
I huffed and sat down on the dazzling throne, lounging lazily as I thought.
‘So. I was just tricked into sending us to the opposite end of the continent. What’s waiting there? A trap. Another Nightmare, clearly not Gluttony-slash-Prophet. The one wants to possess me, apparently. But Luna described actually doing her actions as Nightmare Moon, so I’m not being completely possessed. I suppose it takes time for the Nightmare mambo-jumbo stuff to set in… Why did it hurt so much last time? Is this Nightmare taking its time, waiting before trying to attack? Or do they do their darkness stuff differently?’
I raised a foreleg to my head, “Oh, woe is me! I am being attacked by a Nightmare… again! I could surely use a beautiful princess who can save me! A big strong princess who will defy gender norms and be the hero of the story! Heroine! Gender norms… that might not apply to Equestria. I mean, I am… uh…. A helpless Prince! I need…. Oh fuck it, Luna, can you come save me? Luna?”
‘Aw hell, she’s not coming, is she? I need to find a way to escape on my own. How did Luna even blast it away last time?’
“Luna?” I asked again, keeping up appearances. “Lunaaaaa?”
I dropped my foreleg and sighed, coughing slightly.
‘Magical powers that I haven’t been taught, probably.’
“Say, Mr. Nightmare? Just what is it about me that makes me so alluring to your kind? I know I’m kind of a lightning rod for bad luck, but this is ridiculous. Is it that mark of… lamb-something? You could at least acknowledge that I’m still here. I swear, if you’re trying to kill me with boredom, I’ll–”
The ground suddenly became slick with water. On top of the lower section that surrounded the throne, a layer of water appeared and started to rise.
“You know what! Nevermind! I’m good with boredom! Boredom’s good! Great! Ten outta ten stars! There’s no need for– Panar damnit!”
The water showed no sign of slowing its rise. Slowly, the chamber became more and more filled. Worse yet, the spot on the wall straight ahead where the door was supposed to be was instead completely smooth and covered up by a tapestry of a changeling royal drowning to death.
“Haha, you sure got me! Now, why don’t we talk about this like civilized adults– oh it’s cold!”
I couldn’t will the water away. I couldn’t use my magic to blast out, or even do anything. I couldn’t change the dream at all. Once again, I was a prisoner within my own mind.
‘Ngh! No! P-poor choice of words! I’m not… No! Fear is what it wants! I am not afraid! I am King Phasma! I will get out of here and bludgeon it to death, with my own ego if I have to!’
I tried buzzing my wings to fly above the water, but I couldn’t get myself free from the freezing cold water.
“Cold! Cold cold cold!” I yelled as I began to thrash.
Noticing my own panic, I tried calming myself down.
‘Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Luna’s smiles and jokes. Thorax’s a– err, personality. Coxa’s humor. Sense of purpose with the hive! The strange kindness of ponies! Sleeping past noon!’
My efforts were dashing the moment I looked up and saw the ceiling fast approaching. Soon enough, there would be no air to fight for.
‘Not here! Don’t want to be here! Anywhere but here! Get me out! Out out out out!’
Up and up I went. My limbs were going numb. My mind was racing. I felt my horn scrape against the ceiling. I clenched my eyes shut and once again, I felt nothing.
The feeling of the freezing water had vanished,, just like it did when I appeared in the temple room.. I opened my eyes. I think I did, at least. All I could see was black. I lifted a hoof and waved it in front of my face. For better or for worse, I could see myself.
That meant I was suspended in some great black expanse. A sky without stars. A sea without waves. A… something without something. My mind was still whirling from the whiplash of going from a heart-racing situation, to a calm one, then back to a heart-racing one in just a few minutes. It was hard to come up with analogies when you were remembering to breathe in and out.
“Lovely darkness,” I said aloud. “Great stuff. Totally not bored at all. I’m actually happy to unwind. Yep. Thanks for this.”
Doing my best to not lie, I tried to relax as much as possible. It was relatively easy as there was no life-threatening situation or room filled to the brim with distractions. Aside from the fact that I was still very cold and had become tired, the void was almost… relaxing. It was peaceful, quiet, and had a distinct lack of Nightmares. Ones that I could see, at the very least. There was always the chance that I was completely surrounded and was on their equivalent of a banquet table.
‘Relax, Phasma. Think of a way out. The Nightmare is keeping me on my hooves, stopping me from thinking of a way out. Maybe it can only affect the world in bursts as it gains energy from my fear? Yeah, that makes sense. So it gathers energy, possibly from my fear, and it uses that to make more fear. If I can stay calm during one of those… episodes, then maybe I can starve it to death. I should try to find a way out, too. If I can outwit it, or I guess defeat it in some way, maybe an exit will present itself. Not like I can make it any more mad at me, considering it wants to basically kill me.’
“I see a light, below!” A breathless whisper echoed from above me.
“Here we go again,” I muttered and looked up.
“Aha! There he is! There he is! Found him at last!” Another voice whispered.
Above me, a massive spider was lowering itself towards me on its web-string. As if that wasn’t nerve-wracking enough, the spider seemed to have its eight eyes where it’s mouth and mandibles would normally be, and four sets of said mandibles on its head, on the top, bottom, and two sides of it.
The body of the spider was made of black chitin with some sort of white substances painted on in swirling patterns. Here and there, crimson streaks of fog darted around its body.
“King Phasma!” The spider called out as it approached. The set of mandibles on the right sides clacked as it spoke.
‘Stay calm.’
“What now?” I demanded sternly.
The spider pirouetted on its string, pulling itself up on its string as it spun a web harness around itself. Despite the void having no gravity pulling in any direction, the massive arachnid moved as if the void beneath me was terra firma and that gravity pulled in that direction. It stopped its ministrations of weaving as it finished lowering itself, ending its descent right in front of me. Eight eyes blinked unsynchronized as it nearly bumped my muzzle.
I tried to lean back, but it followed my movement. The chill I felt started to dull as they spoke. Like an ember of warmth within me, I felt heat growing within myself once again.
“You are a hard soul to find, Tainted One.”
“Not hard enough, apparently. Go away, I was enjoying the silence.”
The top mandibles clicked together as it hissed a laugh. Or it was emptying helium out of a balloon.
“We were sent here by the Night Mistress herself,” the top mouth spoke, louder than a whisper this time.
“She was adamant about saving you,” the left mouth added.
“We wonder just what spurs her to action, but that may be learned after our work is finished,” the bottom mouth finishes their spiel.
I grimaced for a moment before clamping down on my emotions, “That’s… lovely. Now go away.”
“We are here to save you, strange being,” the top mouth hissed at me.
“You’re not the first to try to ‘save me,’ strange being,” I spat back. “One of your brothers– two of them already tried that. One of ‘em is still trying, I think.”
“There are no thestrals here,” the right mouth pointed out.
“Thes– you are ponies?”
“Yes,” all four mouths intoned at the same time.
‘Why do I feel like eating hard candies when they speak? They feel like old people. Heh, I bet they are, and it’s some weird dream nonsense telling me that they are.”
“Eugh. We have already fallen into the trap, then?” One of the legs reached out to touch me before I batted it away. “Don’t touch me, hags!’
The giant arachnid reared back as the top mouth spoke, “Hags? Sisters, did you hear what he called you?! King Phasma, we are the wise Elder Aspects of Vallachia! We are here to save your life, now comply before the last dregs of who you are are subsumed by Rot!”
“I’m not too big of a fan of the demons, so I don’t think I’ll do what the demon-worshippers ask me to do. Especially if they look like giant spiders.”
“Spiders?” The bottom mouth asked.
“Hush,” the top whispered, “King, you see us how you wish to see us. But we are genuine in our attempts to help.”
I laughed out of disbelief, “The Nightmare wanted me to send us to Vallachia. This is a trap. I will not actively embrace my death.”
“The Nightmare sent you to us?” Left asked.
“We assumed it was the Night Mistress…” The top said.
“Night Mistress, Nightmare, whatever. Look, I don’t want you here, so just go. I’ll save myself, thank you very much.”
“How?” All four asked in synch, again.
“By…. figuring it out. I’ll be fine.”
“The only way you survive this, whelp, is by trusting us,” the top said in restrained frustration. “You will not be saving yourself. You need help.”
“I’m not–”
“We serve Princess Luna,” the bottom mouth cut me off. “We always have. Well, for a time we served Nightmare Moon, but our loyalties have always been to the Princess, no matter her leanings. She wants us to save you…. Please, let us help you.”
‘I can’t believe I’m even going to listen to what they have to say…’
“Why should I believe you?”
The top hissed in laughter, “You have no reason to. Only a fool would. But a fool will be the only one who can survive this trial. It will be painful, but we can exorcise the Rot from your soul. You should not trust voices in your head, such as ours, but you must. There is simply no other choice.”
“... Prove to me that you are actually loyal to Princess Luna.”
“She came to us in a vision,” the left hummed quietly. “For so long she was silent to us. But we saw her come to ask and beseech us to save you. You have a very special connection to her.”
I sighed, “You were deceived by a Nightmare if you are telling me the truth. The Nightmare wanted me to go to Vallachia, to the thestrals. If you truly serve Princess Luna, then you’re, ah, how should I put it? Also in deep shit?”
The mouths whispered to each other too quiet for me to hear. It almost seemed like they weren’t speaking Equuish, their words were so strange and muted.
Then, I gasped as I felt a sucking sensation against my mind. The last of the cold that lingered within me vanished as I felt part of me be ripped out from my own body.
“King Phasma?” One of the mouths asked.
I was slowly drifting backwards in the void, trying to hold my own mind together. Different emotions surged through me. Confusion. Pain. Anger. Frustration. Fear. So much fear. It was like someone was stretching me out, pulling at me like a rubber band. Then all at once, I snapped back together, the feeling gone and replaced a sense of calm and warmth.
Either something very bad had just happened, or judging by the spider’s confusion, something extremely bad just happened.
“What….” I gasped.
“Did you feel that?” The top mouth asked.
“Y–” I began to answer, but was interrupted.
“Yes, Mind! The Rot moved! We haven’t even laid the trap yet!” Right spoke rapidly.
“The King was right, it was not the Night Mistress who spoke to us! A trap! A Trap!” Bottom yelled.
“We must leave!” Top commanded. “Hold on to yourself, King Phasma! We will return for you!”
For a moment, the massive spider hung before me in silence. Then another moment. And another. And another. And… the spider continued to hang there in front of me, silently.
“Uh… Are you going to leave, or...?”
The mouths hissed in pain as the spider began to coil up on itself, tearing away at the web around its body that it used to suspend itself from the string holding it up. The spider began to smoke, then smolder, then massive red flames suddenly engulfed its whole body.
“That’s… not normal,” I summarized my thoughts before a sudden pain invaded my mind again.
The pulling sensation was back, only reversed this time. Instead of being ripped apart, it felt like something was being thrust into my mind. My head felt like it was overflowing with something. It wasn’t another being, like I imagined possession would be like. It was…. Like memories. Memories that I never had.
I had no idea what was–
...
Reaching the arm took seconds and years, minutes and decades, hours and epochs. It stood before me, stretching out indefinitely to either side. I could not see its ends, nor could I see through it anymore.
It was composed of more specks of light than I could fathom. Just in the section in front of me were white, red, blue, and yellow specks that numbered more than the grains of sand on any beach.
I reached out a glowing orange arm, and touched it.
At once, I could feel the thrum of each of the galaxies up above. They beat like a heart, like a pulse was traveling through them, its source beyond one of the horizons.
Then, I heard a whisper from below call out to me.
“Damned Soul.”
I felt my very being be ripped into as the thing spoke. No, spoke was not the right word. It willed the words into being from the parts of a thousand and one screams of pain.
“You will suffice.”
I grunted in pain and felt blood drizzle down my nose.
“I name you Crier of the Damned.”
I hissed in pain at the force of its voice. As I tried to unclench my jaw, I felt a burning sensation on the back of my head. I could feel the thing as it seared something onto me, burning my very soul with its horrible touch.
‘Horrible! Please… stop! Please! Please! Oh god! Stop! Noooooo!’
I cried as it dug further into my mind, tracing out its unholy symbol. I just knew it was unholy. My sanity recoiled from the touch and my heart beat rapidly. The agony spread throughout the rest of my body as it worked on carving the symbol.
After an eternity of burning, the jagged blade pulled itself free of my head and left me floating there, dazed and half conscious from the pain.
“Free King Epitaph.”
I recoiled, not in pain, but in remembrance of the pain.
“Luna! Agh! P–Please! I… I need help! Please!” I begged.
I gave up on trying to control my emotions or plotting an escape. If the Nightmare wanted to possess me, there was nothing I could do. Alone, there was nothing anyone could do against such a monster. That was the truth of it, I realized. Alone, you are nothing to them.
‘They will destroy us all unless we fight together. All this war against each other is pointless. None of it matters,’ I thought as I clutched my head between my hooves.
Phantom pains, real to nothing but my imagination and memory, traced the brand that the thing placed on me.
“I’m out of my depth… I need you…” I whispered.
For a moment I was thankful that there was no one here to catch me cry. I was supposed to be a king. I was supposed to be a leader. Quickly, I switched to wishing that literally anyone friendly was here. Someone I could actually trust.
“Apologies for being tardy. Cadence has some… interesting news to share.”
I didn’t dare look up. It was just another facade. Another trap set by the Nightmare.
“Phasma? Are you well? No, forget the question, the answer is obvious.”
‘Daybreaker. Nightmare Moon. The Prophet. King Phasma. How many of us will be claimed by these monsters? Is that our fate, doomed to die? Are the immortals of this world doomed to be ring-wraiths, or something similar? Why is it that we must suffer the most?’
I felt a hoof hook under my chin and raise it, forcing me to look Luna in the eyes.
“Phasma. You have been crying. What happened?”
I didn’t feel cold. I wasn’t in pain. I was not being stretched, compressed, drowned, interrogated, tortured, or anything else. I was tired. Tired and near my breaking point.
“Is this our burden?” I whispered to the Nightmare.
“What are you talking about?” It whispered back.
“Why are we here? Just to suffer?”
“Phasma?”
The way it spoke my name called to me. It was warm. The voice was like an antithesis to the amalgamation of horror that wrenched into my soul.
“Luna?” I asked, afraid.
She hugged me. I melted into her embrace, sagging heavily. We were still in the black abyss, but at last I was no longer alone.
“What happened, Phasma?”
“It’s you,” I whispered as I buried my face into her neck.
“Yes. I am me. I can not recall a time where I was not me, save for the time when I was not me and was instead Nightmare Moon. And that one time I was Celestia, but that ‘twas only for an afternoon.”
Luna managed to get me to chuckle.
“There is your smile,” she smiled back. “Now tell me, what happened?”
“They had me from the beginning, Luna. The damned Nightmares, they had their sights on me since I arrived. I was attacked again.”
“Those wrights came back for a second time?!”
“A third, Luna. Three times they have tortured me. When will the pain end?”
Luna held me tight, “Three? Now you know why I dedicate almost every night to rooting out their scourge. They inflict such pain and horror that not even our worst foes deserve to be at their mercy. As if the Nightmares have such a word in their lexicon. Now, my Phasma, I am here now. The hour of Daybreaker’s end draws near, and the culmination of our plans comes to fruition. We may be together more often, if you–”
“Please.”
“Very well. I am sure I can fit you into my schedule somewhere. Let us say… after the moon rises, and before it sets? It is not a large time slot, but I think we can find days open for meetings.”
“I’m tired, Luna. I'm tired of all of this. I really need a vacation or twelve.”
Luna pulled away from the hug and grinned, “Once Celestia has returned and negotiations of peace are had, I am certain we can secure time for ourselves. You, me, copious amounts of liquor, and nothing but time.”
“That sounds like a honeymoon.”
“I do not know what that is… but I like that name. Honeymoon.”
I chuckled, “It’s what newly wed couples go on. An outing of love making and… no, that’s pretty much it.”
Luna laughed, “It is a bit early for marriage! We have not even kissed yet!”
'Maybe it's time to change that.'
“Luna… I love you.”
“I love you, Phasma.”
We leaned towards each other. I felt her hot breath on my muzzle; it smelled of flowers. I had to suppress a laugh when I remembered that ponies eat those. Luna raised her muzzle to meet mine as I met her gaze. I took in a deep breath and closed the distance between our lips.
Then someone woke me up.
I.
Was.
Pissed.