“Wait, you can hear Alex?” Starlight asked, both she and Twilight looking at him with interest. “Like, in your head?”
“What was he telling you?” the purple alicorn asked. “What were you apologizing for?”
“That’s none of your concern,” he told her with authority as he waved a hoof dismissively. “Although I do have to ask how you plan on having this spell end. Is it a gradual timed spell, or will you be undoing it yourself?”
Starlight gave Sombra a knowing grin at that, answering, “You know I can’t tell you that. We can’t have you trying anything funny, can we?”
The stallion scowled and bared his teeth at that, causing her smile to drop as Luna and Twilight took defensive stances. He took his own stance and scrunched his face further until he realized what he was doing. Radiant Hope put a hoof on his side and Fluttershy gave him a look as he stood straight up again.
“I’m sorry. I have to remember that nopony here is my enemy. Forgive me. It’s an adjustment I must make after months of operating that way.”
“Yes, it is,” Princess Luna agreed. “On the subject however, we must discuss your past crimes and what the appropriate retribution would be for them.”
“Ah, yes, appropriate retribution,” he repeated sarcastically, “as in the death sentence that was handed down upon me twice and delivered to me with neither trial nor testimony or even a willingness to hear my side explained.”
“The death sentence that was rightfully deserved after your crimes,” she countered. “Imprisonment of one princess in stone, the enslavement of the Crystal Empire, multiple counts of treason-”
“All of which I’ve paid for,” he interrupted, leaving out his thinking that they deserved it, knowing it wouldn't be good to tell them that now that he was fully in control of himself. “The crimes you accuse me of have been paid for with my death, more than once.”
“And so then it seems we come to this whole mess, which, while instigated by Cadance, was in part a result of your actions.”
“Don’t start with that with me,” he threatened. "This was not my fault. You and I both know that."
“Alex exists in part because of your actions,” she continued. “Even despite Cadance’s treason, this incident was set in motion because of your spell, and therefore you have responsibility as well."
“We were not the aggressor, Luna. We- I- was not the cause of this. That was those two witches disguised as princesses who brought this all on. This is not our fault.”
“What was your plan for Alex once you were finished with him then?” Luna asked. “What were you planning to do to him? Throw him away? Destroy him?”
“We’re the victim- I’m the victim- of Cadance and Celestia’s actions against me,” he said loudly, almost yelling. “As well as Amore, too, but that’s ancient history. All things being fair, I would say everypony got the justice that was delivered to them.” He paused for a second before continuing, “Actually, no, they got off comparatively easy, all things considered, seeing what my sentences were.”
“You’re in a position you’ve created for yourself. You’ve made yourself the victim of your own actions. While I will admit there was an element that Celestia and Amore played in your actions, the majority of the blame for where you are at falls upon yourself, and is rightfully deserved after your crimes.”
“My crimes were because of- no, I won’t be explaining myself further right now. I’ve done it once, and for now, I’d like to enjoy my relief, especially when you’re so unforgiving to me. Somehow every creature else seems to be able to earn forgiveness for their actions besides me.”
“Perhaps there’s a reason for that, one that a bit of self reflection will help you see, Sombra,” Luna responded flatly.
He rolled his eyes at that, grumbling, “Of course, I need to self reflect. Not anypony else. It’s always me who’s forced to take the brunt of everypony else’s actions. Somehow, despite the fact that it never starts with me, it always seems to end with my death.”
“If everypony’s problems seem to end with your being delivered justice for your crimes, then once again, it might be time for self reflection in that case to see if you are the reason for such an occurrence.”
He growled at that and bared his teeth again before calming back down and setting off to his bedroom. He only made it three or four steps though before he stopped and turned around to face the alicorn once again.
“Luna?”
She didn’t respond, but she did look up to meet his gaze for a second before he looked to the floor at his hooves.
“Thank you,” he told her a bit more softly, causing a look of confusion to make its way onto her face from the unexpected words. “For protecting us from Celestia, I mean. It was appreciated, by both of us. Even if the original goal was to trick you… I still thank you for the compassion you had.” He then looked up again, turning to the yellow pony and giving her a wide smile. “And you, too, Fluttershy. Especially you. I do consider you a friend, the same way Alex does, maybe the second I’ve ever had, even if I was unnecessarily cruel to you during the few moments that Alex was away.”
“It’s no trouble at all, Sombra,” Fluttershy responded kindly. “I forgive you.”
“Starlight, thank you for giving me this moment,” he continued, getting a smile from her before he turned to Hope. “And you,” he said as he leaned down to truly nuzzle her and kiss her for the first time in over a thousand years, “I love you with my whole heart, and thank you for always being there for me, even when everything seemed hopeless.”
“Awwww, I love you, too, Sombra,” she told him happily as she leaned into him. “I know it’s still early, but um… since I finally have you to myself… maybe we should go back to our bedroom?”
He blushed at that, and it got a few giggles from some of the ponies in the room, Luna herself even cracking a small smile. It was a nice moment despite the previous conversation, the tension that had built up between them dissipating.
I figured out how to operate the window I was looking through to view whatever memories I wanted to see. It was a strange experience to say the least, and I learned a few things operating it.
The first was that before the moment I turned into a pony, I could go back to any specific day and see all the little details that I forgot about. What shirt I wore, what conversations people were having around me, what other people were eating at restaurants, things like that. However, when I scrolled up to and after I became a pony, it was much more generalized, only showing specific moments rather than everything, and only the things I needed to know. It gave me the impression that everything before that was a guided story, one that was only intended to be built up to a specific point before I came here. It was quite impressive, and I found that I was even able to replay things like when I watched movies or read books or listened to music. How Sombra, or rather, how Sombra and I, were able to do something like this and not have our brain completely overloaded with information, I didn’t know. It was quite the feat in my opinion.
However, despite the appeal using this window offered, it wasn’t something I cared about doing. It only made me sadder, watching the life that ran away from me play out, and I could feel a few tears dripping down because of it. It didn't feel fair to me, and made me upset.
“I lost everything,” I thought to myself, somehow understanding that saying so out loud would cause Sombra to hear me and interrupt whatever he was doing. “I lost everything and everyone, and all I can do is play over what happened, all because of those dumb ponies. And they all hated me for no reason, and wanted me dead. Even Celestia, who was my favorite, who was supposed to be the kindest being in the world, hated me for existing…”
I let myself cry for a little while, going through random parts of my life and trying to pretend that I was still there before getting fed up and walking away. I felt tired, extremely tired, and just wanted to go to sleep. Another quick look around showed an empty, simple looking bed in a lonely corner of the room, and so I walked over and fell asleep, resting my mind for the first time in ages as just a couple of more tears dripped down.