Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06 and MixMassBasher
The Cutie Re-Mark
Dear Twilight,
So you're saying after going through all these timelines, that there wasn't a single instance of you just not showing up to Ponyville, and the rest of us living happy lives?
Bullshit.
Sincerely,
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
The easiest solution was to terminate Starlight's younger self before doing all that shit. Hasta la Vista to the bitch.
Sincerely,Arnold Schwarzenegger Cyberdyne Systems Model 101
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
I'm terribly sorry for what happened to you. Every year, we send out school recruiters to see if there's any potential students whose parents cannot afford to bring them to the entrance exam. We must have missed you.
So, I hereby invite you to enroll in my School For Gifted Unicorns.
Sincerely,Princess Celestia
Dear Sunbutt,
Get lost, bitch. This one is mine.
-Twilight
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
You are hereby invited to enroll in Twilight's School for Sexy Unicorns.
Classes are held in my quarters. Starting tonight.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight,
Well, since I'm going to be living here now, may I offer you a little advice?
Hire some castle guards. You have no idea how easy it was for me to get in here.
And no, I didn't spend the entire time reclining on Fluttershy's chair. I went through your entire lingerie drawer.
Please seek help.
Your new student,
Starlight Glimmer
Dear Starlight,
Yeah, I'll get right on that.
I've also noticed some peculiar naming conventions among those ponies whom Celestia either doesn't notice, or fails out of her school.
So I'd like you to keep an eye on her school's enrollment sheets for anypony named Seafood Dinner. I'm pretty sure they'll be the next student here.
-Twilight
Dear Sunburst,
What gives? Why did you completely ignore me after you got your mark? We were best friends. We were supposed to grow up and fall in love and get married and have a cute foal and call him Starburst. They'd grow up to make the most delicious candy.
-Starlight Glimmer
Dear Starbright Grammar,
I'm sorry, do I know you?
Sincerely,
Sunburst
Dear Starlight Homewrecker,
Hey, you. Twilight's first true student here. Hooves off. Twilight is mine, you hear me?
If not, you're gonna find out what my foot plus your ass "equals."
Your first and only warning,
Sunset Shimmer
P.S. Yes, both versions of her are mine, you tattoo-stealing tramp.
Dear Filly Twilight Sparkle,
I don't have much time. In the future Princess Bitchlestia causes us to live in a backwater town called Ponyville. I have idiot friends to help cheer me up. Please whatever you do, don't go for that examin-
And thus another season is put behind us.
Thanks for reading so far, and I'm hoping it won't be too long before I can grace you with some hiatus bonus content, as I always try to do.
<3
Miles
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Wait, Celestia has a HEART?!
Who dat?
That's, actually kinda clever.
And thus, another season comes to an end...
Here's to another great season!
I don't think the spelling error was intentional
Did you know that there's a semi-popular Flashlight child named Starburst?
Thanks for the Credit.
6683374 No prob, thanks for the help.
I know where you got that one from.
Don't get greedy.
Small typo in Starlight's letter to Sunburst. She starts out writing it to the wrong pony.
6683379 I'll just post the rest you left out here.
Dear Time Turner,
I wish for you to go fix the inconsistencies in time. I was to be the only ruler actually.
Sincerely,
Nightmare MoonPrincess Luna--------------------------------------------------------
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
Thanks A Lot.
Angrily,
Time Turner
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
At least she didn't get the Inspiration Manifestation. We would have been living in Equalestia by the time she through.
Sincerely,
Rarity
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Josh Haber,
Great. You made alternate universes cannon in Equestria. Now I have to deal with 1000 versions of me making Dashie to cupackes. Buck You.
Pissed Off,
Pinkie Pie
-------------------------------------------------------
Dear Discord,
your a friend with God-Like powers and you couldn't assist me? I have half the mind to turn you back to stone.
Furious,
Twilight Sparkle
--------------------------------------------------------
Dear Twilight
TwinkleSparkle,Well excuse me? I was a little busy playing circus with the Princesses.
Sincerely,
Discord
-----------------------------------------------------
Dear Discord,
Do you have photos?
Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle
-----------------------------------------------------
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
So you're the reason for why I live in this hellhole. Watch your back Mayor Marx cause I got a bullet with your name on it.
Sincerely,
Little Pip
The 'terminate younger starlight" thing wouldn't have worked - unless Twilight thought to stay in one of the futures long enough to modify the spell, so she doesn't drag Starlight along each time she casts it
Dear Model 101,
I already sent back a reprogrammed Model 800 to protect my mother.
Sincerely,
Starburst Glimmer
I see someone watched the Bronies React of the premiere.
Thanks for another season of ponies being hilariously horrible to one another, Miles.
Starlight is right, Twilight better hire some castle guards. Otherwise, what's to stop her "friends" from storming in and demand that she help them solve a "friendship problem" without the aid of the map?
Twilight, just give it up already.
You're not getting laid, no matter how hard you try. No one wants to tap that.
You know what? Having Starlight be one abstinent from sexual life would be a great foil to Twilight. Would Certainly make these letters even MORE awkward.
Twilight: "Wanna do it?"
Starlight: "No."
Huh. Didn't expect Sunset to be yandere for Twilight. No accounting for taste, I suppose.
Nice way to wrap it up. I look forward to the hiatus content.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
Timeline #7.
Pleasant dreams,
Discord
static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/And+guess+who+gave+them+the+idea+_dbcfd4c1e45bd2f61a61d626c9745046.jpg
Dear Starlight Glimmer and Twilight Sparkle,
Time travel is a real bitch isn't it?
Sincerely,
The Doctor, Marty and Doc Brown, Bill and Ted, etc.
Too many of these were hilarious enough to quote. Good work man
Huh. In this Equestira, I'd actually be hard-pressed to determine who's more bonkers, Irritiated!Twilight or Starlight...
Looks like Sunset and Twilight need to have a real heart-to-heart about who's the dom in their relationship
6682278 A terrible joke which took a terribly long time to figure out. Interesting.
6683769 Dear Flash Sentry,
You had One Job! ONE JOB!!!
Sincerely,
Shining Armour
6685357 Dear Captain Armor,
What are you talking about? You never let me leave the Crystal Empire ever since you caught me making googly eyes at your sister.
Sincerely,
Flash Sentry
My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
After twenty-three days, time somehow went all wibbly wobbly and I somehow got out of the book. I am not sure what happened, but I am sure that I have you to thank for helping me out. I seem to have missed a lot. I see you convinced Starlight to join your stable. I knew it would not take too much. You are the smartest, sexiest, most beautiful mare in all Equestria. And, no, I am not just buttering you up to hope you go easy on me when you punish me for being missing for three weeks. In fact, that could be my punishment. I could literally butter you up and lick it all off and possibly get a heart attack from all the cholesterol. I have been stuck in a book for three weeks, I need to eat, and I know exactly what I would like to feast upon.
...If you would so wish.
Signed your loyal slave who is hungry in more ways than one,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
6685571 Sweet Celestia... Why am I picturing that...?
Anybody else notice Bulk Biceps checkin out Flutter's booty in the final image.
Because I did. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
6685591 Because it would be a fun way to die.
Until the very end, when your heart seizes.
The question is..... What will you do now?..............
6686715 What I almost always do: Bonus chapters usually consisting of real-world events ponified for Equestria.
Hahaha.
That's how I thought it would end. Meting her in the cave at the end of the Season Premiere.
NO!
Oh yeah, I know her. She says her specialty is making and eating fish tacos.
Now she knows what Twist went through after getting her Mark.Why has nopony called out Applebloom on being such a bitch to her?
Filly Starlight Glimmer is the cutest thing.
That was epic. Sunset's letter was the best part.
6684833 I think that they are both equal in that regard.
6687479 You mean when Twist got her cutie mark and abandoned Applebloom, right?
Not trying to nitpick. I was wondering if I missed a Twist episode.
6687479 You mean when Twist got her cutie mark and abandoned Applebloom, right?
Not trying to nitpick. I was wondering if I missed a Twist episode.
6687898 Twist did get Mark, and she still wanted to go to Diamond's party with her, but Applebloom meet Sweetie and Scoots there, so Twist presumably spent it alone.
6687479
I did in the very late seasons of my fanfic.
6683464
I fail to see the negative.
6683464
Equestria Girls already did that.
6683464
That theory sure is getting popular, along with Nightmare Celestia, Trixie, and the parasprites.
6684090
i think you forgot 2 more
6690377 That's a parallel universe, not an alternate one with a different timeline.
Ah yes, the astral phenomenon light effect names.
OR MAYBE MORE AWESOME THAN THAT
And then it turned out that Starlight is into hoofing.
Wouldn't it be hoof and plot? Not foot and ass.