A collection of silly, bite-sized skits where the characters crush the fourth wall into dust to talk about the world of Rites of Ascension, all while poking fun at each other. Learn about the ascension process, cored weaponry, and more!

This is a NON-CANON Rites EU "story." (The characters break the fourth wall completely, so of course it has to be non-canon.) Art by my lovely and amazingly talented wife, Violet Squiggles! You do have to have read Rites of Ascension to really understand this one. You're going to be seriously lost if you start here. That being said, you do not need to read this story to understand what's going on in Rites. This is to add to something already whole (and maybe get a few laughs), not make up for shortcomings elsewhere. Also, I thought it would be fun.

Also, as this is non-canon to Rites, I can go back and change things if I like. Generally, this will only happen if something hasn't been explained in the canon stories yet and has to change for them. Hopefully I won't ever actually have go do that, but if I do, I'll point it out in the chapter.

Once a year, the Townsend occurs. It is a weeklong tradition held by all of Equestria where, for a full week, everypony falls into a very deep -- almost comatose -- state. Nopony knows why or how it happens. It just does. So far, nopony has found any consequences to this strange occurence.

Then, one year, ponies start to go missing.

Then, the next year, more ponies start to go missing. Every year after, some ponies just seem to poof, and are never seen again. Nopony knows what happens to them, and those who try to learn, disappear.

Jazz is a very regular pony. In fact, there's nothing special about her at all. She has many good friends, a crush, even a well-respected family. She lives an average life in the little town of Stableside. That is, until she is unable to fall asleep the night of the Townsend.

This starts a series of events that will shatter Equestria forever.

Follow Jazz, as she embarks on the journey of her life. Just what secrets do the Townsend hold?

For everything you are worth, hide.

Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

This story is a sequel to Iron Hearts: Book 5 - Suffer Not the Alien to Live

An Age of Iron story.

Months have passed since the destruction of the Ork Space Hulk and the end of the war against the Waaagh that threatened to swallow the Centaur system and all its inhabitants.
The Iron Warriors' 38th Company is the absolute military power on the planet, and the survivors of the Lamman Sept and the ponies of Equestria stand with this mighty army of Chaos as they claim Centaur III as their own. Although the other nations of their world may not fully recognize the Company's dominance, it is no matter; the Iron Warriors make plans to return their cargo to the Eye of Terror and return to their eternal trade of piracy. The planet is secure, and can be shrouded by Warp storms at their whim. The natives are divided, weak, and anyway occupied fighting off the scattered Ork warbands. The military supremacy of Chaos is unchallenged, and bolstered by Equestria's reluctant, but hard-earned support.
As Ferrous Dominus expands its operations and the fleet performs its long-suffered duty, it seems nothing can stop the Iron Warriors and their equine allies. The denizens of this conflicted world start to hope that at last peace - if not a distinctly unstable and militaristic peace - has come, and they might start constructing a new, better future from the ruins of war.
But hope... is the first step on the road to disappointment.

(Dark humor warning; limited grimdark themes)
(Cover art by EZTP)
(Featured on 9/19/2015)

A terrible new day rises when a tragedy, foreseen only by Celestia but preventable by none, occurs right in the middle of Canterlot, turning Twilight Sparkle's world upside-down. Now, all of Equestria is looking to her to hold the broken nation together, all while she tries to pick up the pieces of her shattered life.

Coverart used with permission from: metalpandora

Old coverart may be found here.

A/N: Yes, the title was based of the Dragonforce song of the same name, you may stop postulating about it now.

A different take on alicorn ascension. Sixteen years after arriving in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle is excited to have invented a brand-new kind of spell, but it will come with consequences she cannot possibly anticipate. Meanwhile, threats in shadows around the world conspire to overthrow the Solar Throne. With her world turned upside down, she will have to come to terms with the role that fate has dealt her while straining to keep Celestia in power.

Now with a TVTropes page! Please show it some love! Also check out the official side stories, Designing Intrigue, and Love and Barriers! (With even more in my stories page!)

(Please Note: This story was started before any season three information was available. All episodes in season three and later are non-canon for this story, which also means there's no Crystal Empire in this one. In addition, the promotional map released close to the beginning of season three was also not available and is not compatible with this story. While the OC tag is active because there are OCs in the story, they're really just supporting characters. The focus is on Twilight.)

Also be sure to check out the Rites of Ascension Expanded Universe Group! We're working to develop the resources needed for other authors to try their hand at writing stories set in the Rites Universe!

The Book Two cover art was created by the amazing Silfoe! The original cover art can still be found at Violet Squiggle's deviantArt page.

Author's Notes, including proofreader's credits, can be found here!

"This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library!"