Cry for Eternity

by asylum1388


Chapter 10

A/N: One last chapter before the holidays. Due to the fact that this tends to be my busiest time of year, the next chapter will probably have a small delay

In the meantime, I'd like to give another thanks to Pissfer, f0x, and Piquo for taking time out of their holiday preparations to get this ready to release right when I wanted it to be, a Christmas/Hanukkah/Dongzhi (or whatever else you may celebrate) gift from us to the readers.

Editor: Pissfer
Pre-readers: Piquo+Pie and f0xhole.


Twenty days since the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle

“Come on, Twilight! All you’d have to do is talk to Spitfire, it’d take five seconds,” Rainbow whined, hovering in the center of Twilight’s office. “It’s not like she’d say no; you’re the princess!”

“It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that I won’t,” Twilight grumbled.

“Well why not?”

“Because, Dash, if I force Spitfire to make you a Wonderbolt, you’ll be happy for a little while, then you’ll start to wonder if you ever would’ve made it on your own,” Twilight explained for what seemed like the hundredth time. “Then you’ll get depressed and you’ll spend the rest of your life doubting yourself. Eventually you’d probably start to hate me for not talking you out of it. You’ll just have to finish the Academy like everypony else.”

“But— If— I...” she stuttered angrily. “Sometimes I hate it when you make sense.”

“Yeah I know, but what would you do without me?” Twilight giggled.

“Live a calm and peaceful life without having to help deal with major disasters every few weeks?” Rainbow replied teasingly. “Actually that would be totally boring! We better not stop having adventures just because you’re stuck here.”

“Just make sure to write to me about it,” Twilight murmured wistfully.

“Oh, don’t worry; I will,” Rainbow snickered, her eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall and she gave a disappointed sigh. “I should probably get ready to leave or I’ll miss the train. I was sore enough after flying here and that was while flying with the wind currents. Flying back would be torture!”

“Awww, okay,” Twilight sighed. “But before you go, I have a present for you. I’ve had these all week, but I wanted to wait until just before you left,” she said mischievously, pulling a pair of booklets out of the top drawer of her desk and pushed them over to Rainbow for her to inspect.

“What are these? Passports?” Rainbow muttered, looking up at Twilight.

“No, of course not,” Twilight chirped excitedly. “Look again!”

“Okay...” Rainbow muttered, looking back down at the tickets. “Hold on, these are your lifetime passes to the Princess’ box! These can get anypony into every Wonderbolts show ever! You can’t just give these away.”

“One of the good things about being a Princess, Dash, is that I’m allowed to do whatever I want with things like these,” she chuckled with a smug grin. “I don’t really enjoy airshows, but I don’t want the box to just sit there empty and I knew you’d love to go. Unless you don’t want them?”

“No, no! I want them,” Rainbow gasped desperately. She glanced back town at the passes she held in her hooves. “Twilight... I... I don’t know how to...”

“It’s okay, Dash. A simple ‘thank you’ will be more than enough,” Twilight giggled.

“Okay, thanks!” Rainbow said happily. “Who am I gonna take though? ‘shy’s the only one who can go without one of your cloudwalking spells, and she doesn’t like airshows either...”

“How about Scootaloo?”

“Oh, duh!” Rainbow groaned, slapping her head with a hoof. “The little squirt’s gonna flip! I probably should’ve thought of her right away, come to think of it... You’ve gotta let me take you to at least one show a year though, Twi. It just wouldn’t feel right not to take you with me every now and then.”

“Okay, I’ll go if it’ll make you happy,” Twilight said with a smile.

“Great! I’ll make sure to get you a schedule so you can let me know when you wanna go,” Rainbow exclaimed excitedly. “What do you want me to do with them when I graduate from the academy though? I won’t really need them after that.”

“Pass them on, I guess,” Twilight murmured thoughtfully. “You could give them to Scoot, or you can hang onto them to give to your foals if you ever have some. They’re yours.”

“Wow, that’s, this is... You’re amazing, Twilight,” she grinned before her eyes caught a second glimpse at the clock. “But I really need to leave.”

“Alright, if you say so,” Twilight sighed. “Would you like to at least say goodbye to Luna first? She should be awake by now.”

“Yeah, I’d like that!” Rainbow grinned, leading the way out of the office.

The pair trotted quietly for several minutes before Twilight broke the silence. “Rainbow? Thanks for... you know, being there for me this week.”

“Hey, don’t mention it,” Rainbow murmured softly. “I wouldn’t let any of my friends go through all that alone. Or anypony really, no matter who they are.”

“Still, thank you. I don’t think I could have—” Twilight began, but was cut off by Luna’s loud voice echoing down the hallway.

“I AM ENDING THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!’

“That doesn’t sound good,” Rainbow muttered. The two picked up their pace and stopped just outside of Luna’s bedroom door.

“How will I ruin anything? You’re the one keeping secrets that shouldn’t be kept!” a second voice retorted angrily.

“That’s Quill-Pen,” Twilight muttered.

“And this is my choice! I will not let you destroy what I have!” Luna screamed, causing the door to shake.

“Uhhh, Twilight, you might want to put a stop to this,” Rainbow whispered to her.

“Yeah...” Twilight moaned, pushing open the door.

“You don’t have anything at the moment aside from your self-inflicted misery! Trust me, you’d be a lot happier if you’d just sit her down and—” Quill-Pen snarled before catching sight of Twilight and gasping.

“That’s enough, you two! I don’t know what this is about, but the last thing I need right now is you two yelling at each other,” Twilight scolded. After a short pause, she continued. “So are you two going to tell me what this is all about or not?”

“I was just trying to talk some sense into Princess Luna,” Quill-Pen grumbled, making her way to the door.

“Umm, okay...” Twilight mumbled, turning to Luna. “What happened?”

“Your seneschal was just poking her nose where it doesn’t belong. She will also make sure to keep silent unless she wishes to find out firsthoof how cold the moon is!” Luna called towards the door, obviously intending for Quill-Pen to hear the threat.

“Okay. So, you don’t want to talk about it?” Twilight asked, slightly disappointed.

“I do not,” Luna murmured.

“Okay, well if that’s the way you want it...” Twilight said uncertainly. “We just stopped by so Rainbow could say goodbye; she’s heading back to Ponyville soon.”

“Oh, yes, I suppose she is,” Luna murmured. She sauntered over to Rainbow and extended a hoof. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash, for coming. I understand that leaving your home and job for a week on short notice is anything but easy, and we appreciate what you’ve done.”

“You don’t have to be so formal, Luna,” Rainbow snickered. “Anytime you need me for something like this, just let me know. Besides, I couldn’t let Twilight live all mopey and stuff. I would’ve come up here whether you asked me to or not after you told us how bad things were.”

“Thank you nonetheless,” Luna replied. “Though shouldn’t you have left by now? Your train is scheduled to leave in a mere five minutes.”

“Oh crud, I’m late!” Rainbow exclaimed with a gasp. “Mind if I just fly to the train station from your balcony?” Luna nodded and Rainbow bolted out of the door, stopping only to hoofbump Twilight on the way out.

“You will not be accompanying her?” Luna muttered aside to Twilight.

“No. I want to, but I have two whole mountains of paperwork that I need to finish before court on Monday,” Twilight groaned.

“Very well,” Luna said with a nod. She paused, a worried expression leaking into her eyes. “Do you at least have a few minutes to spare to speak with me?”

“Of course, Luna! What’s up?”

“I just haven’t had the chance to speak to you at length since, well, you know...” Luna murmured sadly. “I feel as if I should at least try to comfort you... and check on your wellbeing.”

“Oh,” Twilight winced. “Yeah, I’m still not sure how I feel.”

“I assume you attended the funeral?” Luna asked cautiously.

“Of course! He was buried with full military honors and posthumously awarded three different medals. Then, afterwards, everypony went about their business like nothing happened! Like he never even existed...” Twilight muttered sadly.

“Such is the life of a Royal Guard. They are expected to surrender their lives, without hesitation, at any given moment,” Luna murmured. “I am sorry that you had to learn this horrible truth in such a gruesome manner.”

“You know what the worst part is?” Twilight asked angrily. “It wasn’t watching him get shot or waking up with his blood in my fur. It wasn’t even having to tell his parents that he was gone. It was that I didn’t even know his name until after he was gone. I never even thought to thank him for protecting me until after it was too late!”

“Please, Twilight, don’t be angry with yourself. He sacrificed himself so that you could continue leading Equestria to prosperity, not so you could hate yourself,” Luna replied softly.

“Right, like I believe that, Luna,” Twilight growled. “Has this type of thing ever happened to you?”

“Yes, actually. It used to happen quite often,” Luna replied calmly. “Even before my banishment, there were many ponies who despised me. There was a period where I lost six of my closest guards in as many months.”

“Oh, right,” Twilight replied guiltily. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No need to apologize, Twilight,” Luna said tenderly. “When it comes to taking out on others the anger you feel towards yourself, I am one of the worst offenders.”

“How do you deal with it though?” Twilight whispered. “Does it ever stop hurting?”

Luna winced at the question and opened her mouth to respond, but choked on her answer. She hung her head with a melancholy sigh before continuing. “No. Even after all this time, I still see their faces when I close my eyes. None of them blamed me; one even went so far as to tell me so before he... expired, but I’ve never been able to stop blaming myself. Celestia was the same way,” Luna murmured, a pained look shadowing her features. “I can’t imagine how many ghosts haunted her dreams.”

“So... How am I supposed to feel better about all of this? How are we supposed to handle the guilt?” Twilight cried softly.

“We vow to do better next time,” Luna said, wiping a tear from Twilight’s cheek. “And we promise that we will continue on. No matter what happens, we continue doing what we believe is best. If we can do that, then they will not have died in vain.”

“I guess... Maybe it’s one of those things that I’ll be able to handle a little better as I get older.”

“A fine thought,” Luna replied with a comforting smile. “Now, I must get ready for my night and you have work to do. Think about what I said.”

“Alright,” Twilight groaned. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” She turned around and trotted out the door, almost colliding with somepony on the way out.

“Beg your pardon, Your Highness!”

“Sound Mind? Sorry about that,” Twilight replied, rubbing her forehead. “Here to see Luna?”

“No, actually, I went to find you at your office and one of the guards told me you came here,” Sound Mind sighed.

“Lovely,” Twilight muttered, wondering what she had done to deserve this particular visit. “So what do you need?”

“I am just informing you that today I took the liberty of reviewing the Gala proposals that Your Highness hasn’t gotten to yet and removed any that were either illegal or outside of our budgetary constraints,” she explained formally, gesturing towards her ever-present clipboard. “You’ll find that only about 30% of the proposals you had yet to cover remain.”

“You did that for me?” Twilight gasped. “But today’s your day off. Why would you spend it at work?”

“Because, Your Highness, I want your reign to be successful, believe it or not,” Sound Mind huffed. “I may disagree with nearly every one of your policies and viewpoints, but I am not so petty as to want to see you fail. If you proved to be a poor enough Princess that the populace were to forcefully remove you from your throne, the amount of damage that would be done to Equestria and its reputation, both at home and abroad, would be catastrophic! I’d rather work with you and risk the chance of being proven wrong than work against you and see Equestria destroyed.”

“Wow. That’s... really profound,” Twilight stuttered. “Still, thank you.”

“It was my pleasure. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Your Highness,” Sound Mind said with a bow before trotting off.

Twilight watched her leave, then turned around to walk in the opposite direction and sighed to herself. “One mountain of paperwork down, one to go.”


“A comet that hit a star?” Twilight asked desperately, knowing she was wrong.

...

“Didn’t think so... Alright, I give up. What’s blue and white and hotter than flame?” she asked, sensing the sun’s glee at having stumped her.

“Hey, I guessed that!” she snapped.

She slapped a hoof to her forehead at her charge’s absentmindedness before replying. “Yes I did! It was my second guess!”

“Well that’s just rude...” she grumbled.

...

“I am not!”


“Hey! Now you’re just being mean,” she scolded.

“Where am I going? I’m leaving. I’ll be back when you’re not acting like a spoiled foal,” she retorted, pulling herself back into her body.


Approving various government-funded construction projects was easily the last thing Twilight wanted to do with her Sunday night, but if she didn’t finish it now, it would raise dozens of problems in the morning. Signing her name on the one she had just finished with, she gently placed it on top of the pile of other approved proposals. Taking another from the rapidly shrinking pile of unsigned measures, she glanced up at the clock on the wall.

“Eight-thirty already?” she mumbled to herself. “Now the last train got here at twenty after, so given the level of traffic in the city at this time of day, she should be getting here in three... two... one...”

A loud bang echoed throughout the palace, followed by an angry shout. “WHERE IS SHE?”

“Right on time,” Twilight giggled, letting her eyes sink back down to the papers in front of her.

“Ah don’t need no appointment! Now unless you want me to buck you crosseyed, you’ll get outta my way!”

Twilight rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, waiting for the inevitable storm. Sure enough, the sound of stomping hooves could be heard approaching and it wasn’t long before her door was kicked open with a loud bang.

“Hey, Applejack! I’m glad you came. Everything okay? You seem upset,” Twilight said nonchalantly.

“Don’t give me that! Ah know you had something to do with this,” Applejack screamed, pointing an accusing hoof at her.

“Something to do with what? I’ve been busy lately, AJ,” Twilight replied cooly.

“You know darned well what Ah mean!” the angry earth pony bellowed, stamping the floor aggressively. “Last week Rainbow Dash was acting all strange before she left, then Ah get a letter from you asking me to switch weeks with Pinkie Pie and come this week instead! Now Ah thought that y’all had somethin’ important to talk to me about, so Ah stupidly accepted. Then right before Ah get on the train today, the day after Dash gets back from seeing you, she ‘n’ my brother come tell me that they’ve been sneaking around behind my back for half-a-year! Don’t you dare play innocent!”

“I never said I was innocent. I’ll freely admit that I did a few things to you that I’m not proud of,” Twilight said apologetically. “But I had a good reason for each of them, and I promise you’ll understand if you’d just let me explain.”

“You’d better explain,” Applejack hissed. “I thought you were my friend!”

“I am your friend,” Twilight murmured, hoping that her calm demeanor might cool her friend’s temper. “But you have to tell me what exactly has you so worked up, or I can’t help fix it.”

“Ah’ve been lied to, and y’all had a part in it! How long have ya known and why did ya help them?” she screamed. “Why would ya help them lie to me like that?”

“I only found out last week, but you’re right, AJ. I knew that Dash was going to come clean with you, in fact, I was the one who convinced her to tell you, and then I asked you to come to Canterlot, knowing full well what was going to happen,” Twilight replied softly. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for deceiving you, but I only did what I thought was best.”

“Ah knew it,” Applejack screeched. “You did this on purpose to protect Rainbow ‘n’ Mac. Why? You’re supposed to protect the one who’s been wronged, not the ponies doin’ the wrongin’!”

“Because, I knew you’d be angry and I didn’t want you to do something you’d regret,” Twilight said. “You have every right to be angry at them, but trust me when I say that Dash feels awful about it and Big Mac probably does too.”

“Oh that’s just great,” Applejack groaned. “So now Ah’m stuck here while I’ve got a complete disaster goin’ on back home!”

“So having your best friend happily dating your older brother is a disaster?”

“Ye— no! Oh don’t you go puttin’ words in my mouth!” Applejack growled threateningly.

“I didn’t put anything in your mouth, you’re the one who said it,” Twilight murmured, sliding out of her chair and rounding her desk. “Again, you have every right to be angry with them for keeping their being together a secret from you, but you shouldn’t be angry at them for seeing each other.”

“What? Now you’re making me out to be the bad guy!” Applejack retorted, raising her voice again.

“You’re only the ‘bad guy’ if you resent them for being together. I’m not saying they weren’t wrong for not telling you, but they didn’t want to have you stuck in the middle if it didn’t work out,” Twilight replied, doing her best to keep from yelling back. “Listen, AJ, I talked with Dash about it every single day last week, and she really cares a lot about him, and I imagine he probably feels the same way in return. Even if you feel it’s a mistake, I’m asking you, as a friend, to just give them a chance.”

Shaking with rage, Applejack gnashed her teeth at Twilight, looking for a new route of attack. When she found none, she hung her head, defeated. “Twilight, Ah know what you’re saying makes sense. Ah know that... But right now, Ah’m so mad at you Ah can’t even stand to look at ya let alone listen to a word you say. Can we— can we just talk about this later? Ah really want to just go to bed.”

“I’d be happy to, Applejack,” Twilight murmured, allowing herself a mental sigh of relief. “We can talk all you want tomorrow. Or you can talk and I’ll just listen, if you’d prefer.”

“Yeah, Ah’ve heard that before,” Applejack muttered under her breath. She turned around and left, calling over her shoulder. “See y’all in the mornin’.”

Twilight watched Applejack leave and waited a full thirty seconds to make sure she wasn’t going to return before allowing herself to collapse to the floor. The conversation had left her completely drained mentally. It had gone exactly as she had envisioned it, yet it had been possibly the hardest thing she had done since being crowned.

She flicked her eyes to the stack of papers on her desk and grimaced. She knew that there’d be Tartarus to pay if she didn’t complete it by morning, but she just didn’t have the energy. Resigning herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to get anything else done that night, she pushed herself to her hooves and crawled out of her office, locking the door behind her. She made her way to her bedroom at a leisurely pace, flopping down on the bed when she got there, and stared at the ceiling.

Exhausted, but not sleepy, she glanced around her bedroom, trying to decide how best to spend her restless evening. With Luna busy, Applejack not up for conversation, and the rest of Equestria spending the night peacefully at home, there was little for her to do. That’s when her eyes landed on a roll of blank parchment she had stashed on her bookshelf.

She rolled over to her stomach as an idea crossed her mind and reached out with her magic to levitate the roll over to her, along with a jar of ink and a quill. She stared at it for several seconds before touching the tip of the quill to it, and began to write.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I had a bit of an argument with my friend Applejack, and I think I learned an important lesson in the process...