Fifty-nine years since the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight opened her eyes to the sound of a rooster’s crowing. Motionless, she entered an out-of-body state and pushed the sun up over the horizon, the sight of it beginning to rise above a familiar orchard.
“Awake already?” a voice whispered into Twilight’s ear as she stirred.
She groaned, squirming in Luna’s grasp. “Yeah, though I wish I wasn’t.”
“That is hardly a good way to start your day,” Luna breathed, nuzzling the back of Twilight’s ticklish neck. With an emotionless sigh, Twilight extracted herself from her marefriend’s hooves, a chill running down her back as she pulled it away from Luna’s chest and exposed it to the morning cold. “Going somewhere?”
“For a run. I need some air,” Twilight said blandly.
“Would you like some company?” Luna asked her through a yawn.
“No thanks.”
“Are you sure?”
“I said no,” Twilight grumbled, bolting out of the room before Luna could respond. She felt a slight pang of guilt -- a very slight pang that lasted only for a moment -- as she stepped outside into the brisk morning air. She gazed around at the orchard’s orange leaves before trotting off. She hadn’t really decided where exactly she was going but picked up her pace all the same, reaching a full gallop as she reached the first line of trees.
Around the orchard, she decided, and took a sharp left, running along the treeline as the exercise swept away the last vestiges of sleep and allowed her conscious thoughts to return to her. It was odd, she thought, how easily the Apples had been able to let go. How they, just yesterday, buried their elderly matriarch, and the extended family was now gathering for a family reunion of sorts.
Applejack was gone.
And they wanted to celebrate.
She rounded the first corner, stomping the ground harder than she really meant to. She wasn’t pacing herself at all. She knew she would pay for it later, thinking back to her first Running of the Leaves, and how she had been able to overtake over a dozen Earth Ponies by strategy alone. But she was stronger now. Strong. Like Applejack.
Like Applejack had been.
She let out an angry snort, glancing ahead of her for an outlet.
The patch of daisies never stood a chance.
A fence came into view and she sped up further, jumping it at a full sprint. She bent her legs carefully for the landing, ready to launch herself back into her gallop, but slid as she met the ground. A few petals, slick with the morning dew, had attached themselves to the bottom of her hooves, nullifying what little traction she had on the wet grass. Cursing her carelessness, she stumbled, flaring her wings and barely catching her footing. She slowed down just long enough to kick the petals off before speeding up again, but gasped as a sharp throb wracked her back. The flowers had avenged themselves. A new misery fresh in her mind, she let out a low growl as she resumed her normal pace.
As if the Apples’ glibness wasn’t bad enough, Rainbow and Luna had fallen victim to their strange mindset. Rainbow, technically being an Apple herself now, Twilight could understand. Luna however... While the elder Princess had initially mourned their friend’s passing, she too was now all smiles and laughter.
In all her life, Twilight had never felt so alone.
She was approaching Big Mac and Rainbow Dash’s house. Or what once was. Now it was Rainbow’s alone; the stubborn old Pegasus refusing everypony who offered to move in with her. For the past few days, the house had been full again, albeit temporarily. Tomorrow morning, the Apple Clan would almost entirely depart and the house would be all but deserted once more.
As she turned to continue paralleling the treeline, she heard soft hoofbeats behind her; another early-riser who had apparently decided to join her.
Needlepoint; the youngest of Applebloom’s grandfoals. Quiet and reserved, Needlepoint was probably one of Twilight’s biggest fans and the last thing Twilight needed right then. She was also a fantastic athlete, having won several sprinting championships for her high school.
Unfortunately for Needlepoint, Twilight was almost as young as she was physically and had decades of long-distance training to boot. As the pair came to a hill the Princess charged on, utilizing her superior endurance to hold her speed up the steep incline. Needlepoint, despite her best efforts, couldn’t keep up Twilight’s pace and was left behind.
Twilight crested the hill, momentarily catching the sight of the autumn orchard before beginning her descent. She hung a right, dipping into the rows of trees, knowing that she was far enough ahead of Needlepoint where the stubborn filly wouldn’t see her enter the orchard.
Taking a look behind her, Twilight let out a laugh that died in her throat as her side clipped one of the trees. She snapped her head back forward just in time to dive around a tree immediately in her path and immediately regretted her recklessness. She kept running anyway, trying to weave around the trees without losing her momentum, but she wasn’t Rainbow Dash. Her hoof caught on a root, sending her sprawling. She tried once again to catch herself, but this time, she failed. Her legs collapsed from beneath her and her side slammed hard into a thick, older tree.
As she lay there, attempting to catch the breath that had been knocked out of her, an apple fell from the tree and smacked into the top of her head.
It was at that point that she decided to just give up.
She had wallowed in her self-pity for an hour or two before getting up and leaving the orchard. It only took her a few minutes to find the old farmhouse. Approaching cautiously, she quietly pushed the front door open and peeked her head in, finding it mercifully empty. Everypony must have already left for the quasi-reunion.
Still, she tiphoofed her way to the bathroom and started to draw herself a bath before turning to the mirror and groaning. She had probably looked bad enough before her run, what with swollen bags under her bloodshot eyes, but now? The twigs and leaves stuck in her mane worked together with the dirt on her face, abrasions on her chest, and large blotchy bruise on her side to paint the picture of a pony who was anything but Princess-like.
She fumed silently to herself until the tub filled, then closed the tap and slowly submerged herself, crying out as the steaming water washed over her wounds. She took her time cleaning herself, but didn’t bother to do a thorough job of it. Cleaning off the results of her ill-fated exercise was about all she could find the motivation for. Afterwards she dried herself off and, against her better judgement, painfully applied some makeup to cover her injuries before finally dragging herself out to the party around mid-morning.
Approaching the massive canopy tent, she tried to ignore her physical and emotional aches and pains, putting on her best attempt at a happy face. Trying to be as discreet as possible, she managed to get over to the drink table and pick up a bottle of cider before she was set upon by Needlepoint and several of Applejack’s great-grandfoals.
“Princess, that was incredible!”
“What was?” Twilight asked, feigning ignorance.
“You were! I saw you running this morning and tried to join you, but you were just too good,” Needlepoint laughed.
“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t even realize you were there,” Twilight lied. “You should’ve said something, I would’ve slowed down.”
“She was like a machine,” Needlepoint gushed to one of the little ones. “Didn’t even slow down when she hit the big hill! I just couldn’t keep up.”
“You just need to work on your endurance a bit,” Twilight murmured, ignoring the self-inflicted aching in her legs. “Even Rainbow Dash would tell you that speed isn’t everything.”
“Alright! I’ll get to work on that right away!” Needlepoint chirped.
Twilight took that moment to extract herself from the conversation, slipping over to an empty corner of the tent as Needlepoint playfully ushered the foals on.
She slowly scanned the tent seeking a more isolated spot among the crowd and found one in a pair of empty chairs at the opposite corner.
She steeled herself for the journey and began slinking along the edge of the crowd, knowing full that her efforts to go unnoticed were pointless. Hoping to placate the crowd, she offered a smile to anypony who so much as turned their head in her direction. Unfortunately, the Apples were neither subtle, nor shy, and she was quickly accosted by Sweet Gala, one of Applejack’s cousin’s great-nieces or some other pointlessly complicated phrase. A distant relative nonetheless.
“Princess Twilight! I was hoping you’d be here, I haven’t seen you since I was a little filly,” the mare said with a grin. “You remember me, don’t you?”
“Somewhat. I remember your name and face,” Twilight said. That acknowledgement, however flimsy, was still enough for Sweet Gala and her grin grew broader. Twilight sighed internally at the star-struck mare in front of her and said nothing more, hoping the awkward silence would spur her to leave.
No dice.
“So how’s everything going in Manehattan? I’ve been sending what aid I can, but I don’t have very much money and most of my products don’t keep well enough to survive the journey,” Sweet Gala said, lowering her head apologetically.
Twilight searched for an out, but couldn’t find one. Instead she focused all of her efforts on not gritting her teeth as she spoke again. “What is it you make, exactly?”
“Apple ice cream, Your Highness,” Sweet Gala replied proudly. “Soft ice cream, specifically.”
“We have refrigerated box cars, you know,” Twilight grumbled.
“Yeah, but our ice cream doesn’t ship well. We have a very special blending process that we use to make the mix and it starts to separate if it sits too long,” Sweet Gala said, shaking her head. She shrugged before continuing, “It wouldn’t be a problem if we made hard ice cream, but every time we tried, the flavor came out all wrong so we sold the equipment years ago.”
She paused, staring at Twilight blankly for a moment before snapping out of it. “And you still didn’t answer my question!”
“Oh! Umm, Manehattan’s doing alright. It could be better, but they’re hanging in there,” Twilight answered truthfully. “We got rather lucky. A significant portion of the city suffered pretty heavy damage, but the rest of it was mostly unscathed. Light damage here and there, but nothing that we couldn’t repair or at least patch up right away. We also responded quickly enough to rescue most of those who were trapped, and were also able to send enough medical supplies to save most of the injured, as well as enough money to house those rendered homeless. That last bit came with significant political cost, but it was worth it, I think. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.”
“You sound... Not happy, but at least satisfied with how things are going.”
“Yeah, I suppose,” Twilight grunted.
“Well, I’ll let you go. Kinda rude to keep you all to myself, huh?”
The same conversation repeated itself; one of the attendees would stop her and make some small talk, basking in their chance to be the center of her attention for a minute or two.
It repeated itself again.
...And again.
...And again.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, she finally made it to the other corner and collapsed into one of the chairs.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Rainbow asked Twilight with a tired groan as she climbed into the chair next to her. “You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.”
“Should I be?” Twilight grumbled.
“Well, yeah. That’s what we’re supposed to be doing,” Rainbow chuckled. “The Apples set all this up, the least you could do is have a good time.”
“Oh. In that case, I’m sorry that I can’t just stop mourning and join the party. How rude of me!” Twilight growled sarcastically.
“Twilight, that’s not what I meant and you know it,” Rainbow sighed. “There’s no point going through life miserable. I miss our friends, but I owe it to them not to dwell on the fact that they’re gone and I owe it to my family to make the most of the time I have left. The same goes for you.”
“Who are you to tell me how I should be feeling?”
“I’m your oldest friend,” Rainbow replied quietly. She leaned in and gently placed a hoof on Twilight’s. “It sucks to be the last one to go; I know that. But you-”
“Just what do you know? How could you possibly understand how I’m feeling?” Twilight bellowed. The entire party stopped as the Apples turned to stare at her. “What makes you think you can even comprehend what I’m going through?”
“Do you honestly think I’m not hurting too?” Rainbow asked, gravely quiet. “You see, Twilight, AJ wasn’t just my friend, she was my sister-in-law; my family. I’m hurting a lot, but unlike you, I’m not going to let that get me down. Applejack wouldn’t want us moping around, and neither would Pinkie, Rarity, or Fluttershy!”
Twilight sneered at her and turned away, but Rainbow wasn’t finished. “Did you know that the Apples considered asking you not to come to this? That’s how bad you’ve been. Your awful mood is making everypony around you miserable. You know what else? When they told me, I stuck up for you. I stuck up for you because I know how much you’re hurting and hoped that spending time with us would make it hurt less! Some thanks I get...”
“Sh-shut up,” Twilight simpered.
Shaking with anger, Rainbow leaned forward to continue her assault. “Despite that, here I am, trying to cheer you up because you’re one of the only friends I have left. Here I am, letting you hurt me, because I want to make you feel better. What great friend you’re being!”
“Shut up!”
“That’s it, huh? ‘Shut up’,” Rainbow growled. “If I were you, I wouldn’t be able to look at me either. Not with how selfish you’re being. What would Celestia say if she saw you like this?”
Twilight jumped out of her chair with a snarl, knocking it over. Furious, she wheeled around on Rainbow, but stopped as she felt the eyes of everypony there on her. Instead, she glared at each of them in turn before teleporting away
Awesome chapter I need MOOOOORREEE, please don't leave me hanging too long with this cliffhanger .
-Techy
Oh Twilight, you need to learn that your feelings are exactly the same as everyone else when dealing with loss. Just because you get to live with it longer doesn't change the fact that you live with it for your whole life, just like everyone else.
the stages of grief. they may not be 100% how things go out, but they do happen. and twilight is currently trapped in Anger. she still has depression to get through before acceptance.
I'm sorry, but I'd be acting the same way. If it was a close friend like that of mine that died, it would have taken me several months to move on from it. Her anger stems from the fact that they just don't get what Twilight is going through.
And no one else does either, except Luna. Twilight hasn't had the time Luna has had to come to terms with everypony else dying long before she will. And they expect her to be all smiles and happy?
Let's see; she's lost Celestia, her brother, Rarity, Fluttershy, and now Applejack. She's going to be spending centuries losing just about everypony she ever gets close to. So she's entitled to her anger.
She's not entitled to taking it out on everypony else, yet that's what's happening. Especially since nopony else seems to care. I know that's not true, but that's precisely how it looks. She could have handled it better, but she's stuck in the anger phase.
Well I guess Rainbow won. Though she doesn't feel like it.
Honestly I have to side with Twilight on this. They were her first TRUE friends and now only Rainbow is left and for how much longer. It will be a VERY long time before she can see them again so she has a right to mourn how she chooses.
I hate to say it, but I sort of side with Twilight on this myself. Yes, Rainbow Dash made some excellent points, but what Dash isn't considering is that Twilight is immortal now. She's going to not only outlive everyone, but she might not ever see them again in the afterlife for another one hundred thousand years minimum. She's had to watch all of her friends grow old and die, and now she'll never get the chance to join them.
Please make the next chapter soon. I need to know how this plays out.
If she was feeling so bad, mourning and stuff, and didn´t like how the other Apple Members were happy about their family reunion, then why did she come in the first place? Couldn´t she just have said: "Sorry Rainbow Dash, I still need some time to get over Applejacks Death, I would rather not come and ruin the reunion with my mood"?
6489006 think about what you just said twilight is immortal now her life pretty much has no end so thats a LONG LONG time to live with it shes entitled to what shes feeling right now
6489236
Indeed. Such is the life of a god. While Twilight knows that she can die, that doesn't necessarily mean she will die. For all she knows, she'll manage to endure forever. But who knows? Maybe someday she'll be able to die, and pass the mantle of the sun goddess on to another.
6489146 I'm sorry, but I'd be acting the same way.
That's probably true for a lot of us.
If it was a close friend like that of mine that died, it would have taken me several months to move on from it.
Yup.
Her anger stems from the fact that they just don't get what Twilight is going through.
WHAT, NO. Twilight is losing a close friend. That is what she is going through.
And no one else does either, except Luna. Twilight hasn't had the time Luna has had to come to terms with everypony else dying long before she will.
I disagree with this completely. Are you saying that it's so much easier to live with your friends dying off if you can console yourself with the thought that you, too, are nearing death? Lovely. I doubt it. I'm not old enough to test that hypothesis for myself, mind you, but no.
I will admit that Applejack's death is a nasty reminder to Twilight that Rainbow Dash is getting on in years herself, while Rainbow Dash needn't fear for Twilight. And that would be a good plot point. But the whole "immortality sucks if other people still die" idea never made that much sense to me. Everyone loses friends along the way of even a mortal lifetime, and I don't think it makes sense that it would just add up to infinite grief over an immortal lifetime of making friends.
6489390
Yes, but Twilight has had little time to cope, as Fluttershy had just died.
As far as immortality is concerned, my head canon is that it's something that would take a long time for her to come to grips with, especially as to how close she is to the other Elements. I guess you could say that she's being a bit more selfish than she needs to, but she really hasn't had the time to properly grieve.
That's why I said she's stuck on the anger phase.
I can empathize with the pain Twilight is feeling, to a degree at least. (I'm not Immortal, though, so that is one thing I can be thankful for) Having lost family members and friends who were close to me, I still feel the pain, even after years have passed.
If the rooster makes a sound, but twilight has to move the sun afterwards, how does the rooster know it`s time for sunrise.
Well, we have one more Bearer to go before we get to Depression. Then, eventually, centuries later, acceptance when she notices that certain patterns in her life tend to persist. At some point that she doesn't even notice, she'll be interacting with five ponies who behave in similar fashion to the old bearers. At some other point, she'll realize that letting go doesn't mean forgetting like she currently thinks it does. Which comes first is up to the author.
6489006
But at the same time, sometimes someone wants to be left alone, and you should let them be alone. There's something to be said for celebrating someone's life, but approaching someone while they're mourning to basically tell them they're bumming everyone out is fucked up, even if you're mourning that person too.
6489672
It's a myth that roosters only make their crow at dawn, they can and do make it whenever it suits them. My uncle had a rooster (That became dinner) that would do his long before dawn.
It's mostly based on that animals circadian rhythm.
That was definitely AJ.
Looks like she didn't get the message, though.
6489836 Except that Twilight is being a complete dick about it. If she asked nicely to be left alone, fine, but she pretty much said Rainbow's, and everyone else's, emotions don't matter when compared to the 'sensitive princess'.
6489380 I stand by what I said. Her emotions are no different from anyone else's. If anything, the fact that she will outlive her friends means that she should use the time left with Rainbow Dash to not completely dismiss Rainbow's feelings. Save her mourning until all her friend's die, or else she will regret that she used the time she has left with Rainbow to mourn and whine.
6489390
Yes, actually. While we typically aren't consciously aware of it, our perceptions and thus emotions are colored and limited also by our general expected lifespan. If Twilight had been born an immortal (and raised by such) doubtlessly she'd have a different outlook on things, but she's essentially just an ascended mortal at this point. Until she's well past her original mortal lifespan I fear she's not going to pick up on the immortal perspective. Either way, that concept is where 'seeing that person again on the other side' came from.
6489840
I have forty-odd chickens (and twenty-ish ducks!) out in the back yard and five roosters. They crow whenever they see light. Be it the bathroom light in the window at night, or the sun coming up. The one that's assured is that they start making noise when the sky gets light.
6489840 Yep, sounds about right. My family used to keep chickens and our rooster would crow precisely whenever it damned well felt like it. He did not have a single fuck to give about the sun.
6490229
And they said the same to her.
6490233 tell me have you ever had a friend die hmmmm if not then you cant seriously expect to understand what twilight is going through i have had friends die its not easy to put aside the grief and mourning
6490470 My point isn't that it is easy, just that her emotions are not more important than Rainbow's. They are both devastated, but Twilight acts like it is worse for her. So, how would you feel if one of your friends went up to you and said your feelings don't matter when compared to theirs?
6490288
They Crow because they are Jerks
6490233 I think the difference here isn't that Twilight's immortal, but that Rainbow is mortal. It's a fine distinction, but I think it's a valid one. Because Rainbow is mortal, she has that hope in the back of her mind that one day she'll die too and see Applejack again. To her, this isn't really goodbye, it's just "see you later". For Twilight though, this is goodbye, this is it. She's immortal, where they're all going she can never follow. Twilight isn't just mourning Applejack, she's mourning all the friends who've yet to come, all the ones who will also leave her behind. She's mourning Rainbow. And then along comes Rainbow herself, telling her that her mourning is ruining the party for everyone else. She says she understands, that she's got it just as bad. She says that because she's fine then Twilight should be too. And all the while, Twilight looks at her and sees a corpse. Twilight looks at Rainbow Dash and doesn't see the loyal friend who will always be there for her, but the liar who's about to abandon her like everyone else. Twilight doesn't see Rainbow Dash, Twilight sees a traitor.
But you're right, Twilight is being unreasonable. She's wasting what little time she has left in the present worrying about the future. I think Twilight knows that. I think that just makes it so much worse. She hates herself for feeling this way, she's tearing herself up over it. But instead of helping her, instead of comforting her distraught friend, Rainbow went and joined in on tearing her apart. Rainbow had the nerve to say that she understands, that she feels the same way. But Rainbow obviously doesn't understand. Emotions are anything but reasonable. You can't just go tell someone how they should feel, it doesn't work that way. Yet that's exactly what Rainbow is trying to do, and that's why Twilight explodes. She desperately needs Rainbow to be there for her, but all she got was the traitor.
6490793 People don't get sad because they think their friends are going away, they get sad because they know, deep down, that they will never see their friends again. It makes no difference if you only live to 20 or to 100, you will feel the pain exactly the same way. Unless Equestrians know as a scientific fact that an afterlife exists, they will morn like anyone else. Even if they have religion, they will still mourn as if they vanished forever because of the underlining uncertainty. I'm speaking from experience that people who believe in an afterlife behave exactly like people who do not when it comes to death. They may get over it slightly sooner, but they still feel the same pain.
Now, I won't take this any further, because this will turn into a religious debate if it does. And no one wants that.
You are right that Twilight is mourning Rainbow as well. I didn't take that into consideration. They both have some communication issues they need to work out.
I do hope there's at least a somewhat happy ending to this.
Shorter Rainbow Dash: "How dare you be *sad* when mourning for our friend!"
What a nasty attitude to have. If Twilight feels sad, then she should be allowed to feel sad. Trying to make her feel guilty for that is completely out of line.
6491725 i would if i had any real writing talent
And this is why immortality is a curse. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
I find it difficult to feel much sympathy for Twilight given this characterisation. She's not being written as acting her age, she's not acting like she was eighty, she's acting like she was just barely past the series. See, the terrible, terrible thing to have to say is that while death is something you never get used to, that never stops hurting - it is something you get better at DEALING with and accepting.
(My first brush with death (that I was old enough to understand) was when my baby sister died when I was about seven or eight.)
My grandmother is in her late eighties and is in Twilight's position, basically - her last friend (whom she'd know since she was about five or six) died last week and my grandfather died just over a year ago. Twilight is NOT in a worse place than her by ANY stretch of the imagination, and my grandmother considers herself extremely lucky to be in a position where she's as well looked after as she is. (Because she made a point of telling me so mrecently, after hearing the bad news about her friend.)
Twilight just does not come across as how someone her age would be acting, here. Especially, since, by this point, she will have buried her parents, her grandparents (possibly Shining Armor, I forget whether that's been brought up). She really ought to have a bit more self-control by this point. Hurting is fine, yes, and all that stuff she did in the first part of the chapter was fine.
But the wake?
No. Sorry. She's an adult, moreover, she's the elder, Which means, sometimes, you have to swallow your own feelings and put a brave face on, because - and this is the really important thing Twilight has missed - it's not just about YOU, Twilight. You aren't more miserable than anypony else; your hurt isn't more sacred than anypony else's. Which means, for the duration of the event, you SUCK IT UP for the kids (which, when you're actually old, often tends to mean "everyone about 20 years younger than you") and set a proper example. You're a sodding princess, mare, preportedly of sixty year's exeperience - show some of the decorum you should have learned. I mean, ye gods, this is AFTER the funeral, where you get it all out, where you say goodbye; that's the bloody POINT of them. That is not what a wake is for.
But Twilight here cannot apparently keep a civil tongue in her head and her temper and sulkiness[3] in check for a couple of hours and behave like the adult she is preportedly supposed to be. She's apparently far more concerned about how miserable SHE has been made by this and wallowing in HER misery and lonliness than the feelings of other people who are hurting just as much[2]. And frankly, given both what she is - and more importantly WHO she is - she should be damn well be better than that.
[1]Though SHAME on Twilight is she has not making any other close friends in sixty years when she's actually in a position to actually do what she likes physically). If thsi hadn't been started before she was the Princess of Friendship officially, I'd take her even more to task over that.
[2]Like AJ's direct children and family. (And sorry, Twilight, you did not have a closer relationship with AJ then AJ would have had with her spouse and children. As close. yes, almost certainly, I'm prepared to say, but not closer.)
[3]Because yes, she's basically being sulky at the wake.
6494431 That was the idea, actually.
6494899
Well then, on that basis, I rather cannot fault you at all for achieving your intended goal in writing then, can I?
*tips helmet*
(One presumes then, next chapter will be somepony taking her task; we shall see...)
I am somewhat of two minds when it comes to how Twilight handles this here. On the one hand, I agree that she should have kept it together during the wake, the outburst was unnecessary, if for not other reason than sparing the children, and she did come across as petulant when she only managed to demand Rainbow shut up. An unfortunate characterization, as this could have been an opportunity to explore the painful side of being an immortal instead of painting her as immature.
On the other hand I also disagree with the notion expressed by Rainbow Dash and several commenters that she cannot have it any worse than anyone else and should simply pull herself together. A notion that is, in my view, highly arrogant in it's presumption. They as well as Rainbow and the apple clan seem to have forgotten that she is immortal. She will quite literally live a life of loss, losing those around her again and again and again. Even worse, it likely won't get easier as each loss is unique, acute and different. In time she will certainly get better at handling it in public, but at this point she is staring at the abyss of eternity with only one of her core friends remaining. How unimaginably daunting it must be, and nopony around her other than Luna seems to understand this, and I presume nopony other than Luna even can truly understand this.
Everyone grieves differently, everyone handles death in a different way. One way is usually no more or less worthy than another, and no not everyone experiences the same feelings when dealing with it. Many deal with it far, far worse.
So her outburst, while unnecessary was true. “Who are you to tell me how I should be feeling?” and "...How could you possibly understand..." Quite right, who is she, or anyone here for that matter to dictate to her how to grieve.
6494431 I, by contrast, find it impossible not to sympathize with Twilight here. She's clearly having trouble and doesn't know what to do with herself, but rather than try to understand and help her, her so-called friend is insultingly lecturing her about how terrible it is that she's being such a downer.
As for that toxic and nasty idea that there are times when emotions should be suppressed, I have no idea why it's so pervasive and believed by people who should know better. Our emotions make us who we are, and hiding them all too often leads to denying them. I've seen it suggested that it's a macho male thing, where showing feelings is perceived as weakness. Maybe that's true, but it's always seemed like much too pat and over-simplified an answer to me.
At any rate, sucking it up and pushing those feelings down is the worst thing Twilight could do. She needs to deal with it, not hide it. Rainbow is being obnoxiously insensitive here, and quite frankly so are you. Maybe it's not all about Twilight, but it is *partially* about her, and nobody seems to care. Expecting Twilight to feel the same way you would is absurdly unfair.
6494899 Omg! do you know how happy I'em that it end as it did? (thought for sure she was going to lose it and strike her would of killed her for sure)
People talking about Twilight acting like an unreasonable jerk aren't understanding the scope of her pain. This isn't about just AJ dying as much as her dying is just another layer of Twilight's never ending misery that started when Celestia died. Since then she was basically forced to endure this life she didn't ask for and has obviously not come to terms with it yet. Twilight as a character has always been her own worst enemy by over thinking and dwelling on things too much, so I like how the author is portraying her and think it's pretty in line with her personality.
6500690
I'm actually a huge fan of the hive series :D haven't read rites yet though.
Umm, holy shit Rainbow, that's taking things a bit far... Like I know that she's been dead for like 51 years now, is that right? I dunno, either way that's still kinda messed up.
Although I'll admit that Twilight certainly didn't help with her grumpiness.
In 11,000 years of constant warfare, I have never felt such pain as this. Why must you do this, Asylum. Really good story, btw
Bringing up Celestia? Bad show, Rainbow, bad show. She had to know how Twilight felt about her, and I know what she was trying to shock Twilight out of her funk, but I cannot see how that could have actually gone well, given how she's just lost her rock, Applejack.
6490229
When you're angry and mourning, you don't always use your best judgement. Sure, she could have been nicer about it, but hurting as she was, she wasn't considering that.
Eh... problem is, I doubt they'll be a direct sequel to this chapter. You keep skipping.
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She might have been able to fake it some but rainbow well meaning help backfired and made things worse. She was barely holding it together and telling her to not be upset when she keeps having to say goodbye is definitely going to put her over the edge.