Twilight Sparkle has been convinced that kidnapping YOU is the solution to saving Equestria! While this should be a dream come true (going to Ponyville, meeting Twilight Sparkle, etc..) There's just one catch...

You don't want to be a pony... At least not like this!

Mort, also known as the Pale Pony (of Death), has been tasked to take time off from his rigorous duties of reaping souls. Seeking guidance, he is directed towards the town of Ponyville, to learn about the magic of friendship from Twilight Sparkle and her friends. All he needs to do is keep his true nature a secret. That shouldn't be too difficult...right?

Special thanks to Specter-Von-Baren and Pyrite Foolsgold for their help in proofreading and editing this story, as I really needed it. Additional thanks to Pilate, Chuckle5, Unimpressive Vagaries and Admiral Biscuit as well! Couldn't have done it without all their help!

Credit for the title card goes to Siansaar, AKA Carnifex.

For another excellent take on Mort, check out Sip's version!

An insane and illogical parody of your favorite ponies.

Are you looking for a story about the magic of friendship or how great it is to be alive? Too bad! What you're getting is a story about a bitter bookworm named Twilight Sparkle who just got booted out of Canterlot and is forced to go to a little backwater town named Ponyville in order to get some sort of social life.

Will she enjoy it? No. Not at all.

Rated Teen for strong language, cartoonish violence, immature humor, and god-awful jokes.
Sex tag is for repeated mentions of sex, sexual activities, and Rainbow Dash. Just...Rainbow Dash in general.

Cover Image by the very talented Wadusher0.

Now on TV Tropes!

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship.

And she's not happy about it.

Hear what Celestia has to say back! Check out the spinoff:
Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student by keaton-furman-prower

Still want more? Have a multiverse spinoff by MixMassBasher, my contributing writer for Seasons 5-9.
Letters From Across the Disgruntled Multiverse

Editing by Neko Majin C.

Disclaimer:
The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.