Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Trade Ya!

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Trade Ya!

Dear Pinkie Pie,

We could not have been clearer. We explained. We explained again, more slowly, with small words. We drew you pictures.

You were supposed to lead an auction to trade away Twilight, not her books. Hell, we would've even taken that broken quill in her place.

Thanks for nothing.

Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity

---

Dear Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack,

What are you talking about?

I have the book named Twilight right here that we were supposed to get rid of!

Oh....

Ooops.

-Pinkie

---

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I had a fun time making you all gooey and sticky. Let's do it again sometime.

Love,
Fluttershy

---

Dear Stellar Eclipse,

I expect royalty payments on those lamps, or I'll make you more handicapped than you already are.

Cordially,
Discord

---

Dear Fluttershy,

You sold your lamp to be mass produced?

No sex for a month.

Regrettably,
Discord

---

To the Daring Do Collector Booth,

You know who's even better at training Orthros than Fluttershy?

Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Yep, that's right. All we want in return is your gleaming smile and undying gratitude that soon, you will have the best trained Orthros in Equestria.

So what do you say?

-Spike

Author's Note:

Comments

[milesprower06]

4258381 First to be deleted. "First" comments not allowed. Shoo.

[heck]

Discord should have learned from Hasbro and just C&D'd wheelchair dude. Independent fan making bootleg products without giving royalties to the owner of the IP, with clearly no way of fighting the powa himself? Discord's legal team would have a field day with that. Though I guess the disability thing would get some sympathy points from the media and general public.

Then no sex for a month killed me. gg miles

[Blood Brandy]

Third, and smart move Spike, but I doubt that one will fly.

And I'll be honest, I expected this image-

img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140419153718/mlp/images/7/70/Rainbow_tackle-hugs_Fluttershy_S4E22.png

And the following moment where the Orthros jumped on them to spurn something...traumatizing...Not sure if I should be thankful for your restraint or disappointed in you losing your edge...

[FanOfMostEverything]

Huh. You'd think Discord's vanity would impel him to support anything made in his image. Or keep it from ever being made without his permission.

Also, nothing about the Rarijack argument? Was the belligerent sexual tension too obvious?

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Good move Spike.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Stellar Eclipse,

I expect royalty payments on those lamps, or I'll make you more handicapped than you already are.

Cordially,

Discord

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Fluttershy,

You sold your lamp to be mass produced?

No sex for a month.

Regrettably,

Discord

I knew it, I knew someone sold the idea for the lamps!

[Spartan-Guy 88]

Dear Pinkiemena Diane Pie,

Heads or Tails?

Sincerely,
The Lutece Twins

Seriously, I saw them in the background during the first Act.

[Deep Voiced Maniac]

4258482 I was just playing Bioshock Infinite too!

[milesprower06]

4258408 I already did that with the glue and tape.

I mean, unless you REALLY want me to make multiple sperm jokes in one letter.

[kayla1]

Dear Rainbow Dash,
I had a fun time making you all gooey and sticky. Let's do it again sometime.
Love,
Fluttershy

I knew this was coming...
also...

Dear Stellar Eclipse,
I expect royalty payments on those lamps, or I'll make you more handicapped than you already are.
Cordially,
Discord

...ouch
overall, great work on this chapter.

[Jake8765]

Dear Rainbow Dash,
I had a fun time making you all gooey and sticky. Let's do it again sometime.
Love,
Fluttershy

Context is Magic!

[oldtimeydude]

4258482 YES! I knew I wasn't the only one who saw that!

[KiltedKey]

You know who's even better than training Orthros than Fluttershy?

Even better at training?

[Octavia Harmony]

To Ms. Rainbow Dash:

It has come to our attention that you have attempted to trade a sentient creature class two (2) or above in a trade. As a reminder, the trading of slaves is strictly forbidden and was outlawed after the 13th rebellion. You are thereby suspended for the duration of one (1) moon.

Head of Department of Trades and Regulations,
Pinkamena Diane Pie

[Blitz the Dragon]

Pinkie Pie, you said there would be cake!

It's right here goddamn, are you fucking blind? Stop shouting.

Where is the cake, Pinkie?

Just take a slice, you...you...

DOUBLE PRINCESS

[meme-asaurus]

Alternate continuity where Pinkie just decides to make a profit off Twilight's fame because Pinkie's drug sales are down in the gutter.

[milesprower06]

4259145 Are you going to post an even remotely relevant comment, or do I have to keep deleting?

[VNilla]

4258482 Which is prettier: the bird, or the call?

[Twifight Sparkill]

I don't think I say this enough, but I love this series. I don't often say anything, as the popularity is already well documented, but this makes me laugh every time I read it.

Ahhh... it's good to have something guaranteed to plaster an idiotic smile on my face, even when I don't feel like it.

Thanks, Miles.

[milesprower06]

4259771 Bam. Out.

[Blood Brandy]

4258513

Didn't exactly link that letter with the image. And it wasn't exactly what I wanted, it's more what i was expecting from you.

[Veryveryfluttershy]

4258482 What?! When?!

[Spartan-Guy 88]

4260213
It's when Applejack and Rarity first split off from the group. The Lutece Twins could be seen in the background walking between tents.

[milesprower06]

4259974 As much as I like to push the envelope, I still have to take into consideration that this fic is rated Teen, so I can't be TOO obscene.

[Scarheart]

No sex slave jokes?

[Cascadejackal]

Huh, no fetch quest jokes?

[Veryveryfluttershy]

4261130

[Blood Brandy]

4261552

Oh, yeah...You know, considering some of the stuff in this, I kinda forgot it was rated teen

[ShadowLDrago]

RariJack shippers and RainbowShy shippers probably had a field day with this.

[Sanjaya]

These light blue unicorns that dressed like some sort of wedding dress and levitated a bird cage who seemed sleepy behind the tent at the Rarity and Applejack first split off scene...
...
Dun dun dun...!

[kooarbiter]

4262560 yes I did

[ShadowLDrago]

4264894

Good to know.

[Winter Storm]

Surprised to not see a reference/letter about the Lutece twins.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

4267014 In the rainbow factory, where not a single soul gets through.

[Jake8765]

Do you know that Stellar Eclipse is voiced by Sylvain Levasseuer Portelance? Poor guy has Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type III.

[BronyWriter]

Pinkie's letter was amazing. I laughed so hard at that.

[raw19]

*Gets in line for Twilight's sentence, wondering why everyone else looks so downtrodden and distraught*

The Book Named Twilight as opposed to the Princess Formerly Known as Twilight. These letters were pure genius, good sir.

Most excellent.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I had a fun time making you all gooey and sticky. Let's do it again sometime.

Love,

Fluttershy

[GetJinxed]

*looks at Twlight in the Author's Note* In your dreams Twi. Get a better attitude and maybe Spike'll do it for ya

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Fluttershy:

There, I saved your ass from getting sold into slavery. I shall expect to see you at the library tonight.

Sincerely, Princesss Twilight Sparkle.

P.S.: Failure to comply will make you wish you'd been sold off.

[milesprower06]

4269559 You keep this up and I'm gonna have to start collabing with you before I post each letter.

You on Skype?

[keaton-furman-prower]

4269587 Technically yes. However, I still don't know how to use it.

[Tangent]

4269587
AND
4271412

Technically, it's not too late to edit the chapter to include inspired contributions you like...

[Gogito]

Now let's all practice road safety with Curtis E. Bear, the Curtosey Bear!

I SENTENCE YOU TO KISS MY ASS

[Neko Majin C]

I SENTENCE YOU TO KISS MY ASS.

How-how deeply? And can-can I do more than just kiss it? I am yours to rule over, Princess. Order me around as you see fit.

KBO.

[Jphyper]

As I re-read the story, I noticed this line all the way back in Griffon the Brush-Off:

And I think Rainbow could totally form an indie rock band or something.

Fast-forward to 2014 with the new Equestria Girls movie coming out...