Hands
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
By Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.
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I'm thinking that maybe this recent plot arc is going to need some reworking. So prior to me yet again delaying the story to rework something (much to the exasperation of my readers), I'm going to try inserting Shepherd into a few more episodes and demonstrating the minor impact of his presence.
- - - - - -
Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
"And so... Ah didn't learn a thing...!" Applejack proudly recited. She smiled over her mug of cider at me, as I stared at her in disbelief. "So, how's that?"
"... I can see why Spike decided that writing for you would have been ridiculous," I said dryly. "You do realize this technology would allow you to make much more cider? More profits? Less difficulty involved?"
"But-But the tried and true method-" Applejack protested, but I held up my hand.
"Don't you get it? Working with the Flim Flam Brothers is much better than competing with them," I said. "They need quality control and apples. You can use their speed to your advantage while retaining that part of you that matters-The hard work ethic!"
Applejack glared. "Why didn't you speak up about this during the contest then?!"
I glared back. "Because I got sucked into that damn thing and ended up in a barrel of cider."
Applejack flushed. "Oh yeah... Wait! Even after that, you still say-?"
"I said quality control, right?" I asked. "Duh!"
"Yer askin' for us to give up centuries of tradition fer-" Applejack began, but I scowled back.
"I'm not asking you to do that! I'm asking you to have some freaking common sense-!"
"COMMON SENSE?! YER THE ONE WHO'S LOST HIS COMMON SENSE!"
"You're the stubborn mule!" I snarled.
"HAIRLESS APE!" She growled back.
"APPLE SLAG!" I yelled.
"MONKEY SHINES!"
"Geez, just get a room already," Chrysalis commented, carrying a barrel of cider with the help of her little Changelings. Applejack turned bright red and swung around to retort... Catching me in the jaw with a hoof.
"HRK!"
"THAT IS NOT WHAT IS GOIN' ON HERE PRINCESS COCKROACH! AH... Oh my, Shepherd? Hey, you all right?!"
- - - - - -
Dear Princess Celestia,
Ah must admit, after rethinking things ah believe ah did learn somethin'. That mah pride is mah biggest fault, and sometimes it leads me to doin' rash things. Straightforward and honest ah may be, but it is that same approach that sometimes makes me like a train on a track-Even if ah'm goin' over a cliff.
So the real lesson here is, seein' business opportunities and the flaws in mah traditions, as well as the flaws in others, is no excuse to be foalish. It means ah gotta rise above it, and be smart. Ah found the Flim Flam Brothers again, and we worked out a deal: Now we're both profitin' like never before, though their take is smaller due to the uproar in the town over them. Ah am payin' them what they are owed though, for their machine. It's the honest thing to do.
Thank you,
Sincerely, Applejack
"So," Applejack said with a smile, looking over the railing of my hospital bed, "better?"
I very slowly nodded. "Mmph."
"And it was so nice of you to help pay for Shepherd's medical bills... Again," Twilight said, looking a bit annoyed. Applejack laughed a bit uneasily.
"Ah... Heh... Sorry..."
"It's like you're involved in domestic abuse with Shepherd!" Pinkie Pie said. "Always hurting the one you love the most!"
"Oh my... I don't remember that from my studies into humans," Fluttershy said. "Should I use more force, Andrew? Have I been doing something wrong? I mean, I can get a riding crop if you'd like..."
As Twilight frantically babbled explanations and Applejack covered her blushing face, I just sighed and looked up at the ceiling. I held out the letter to Spike, who took it and sent it on its way. The baby dragon patted my shoulder comfortingly.
"Better you than me, man," he said.
- - - - - -
Adorable and hilarious. XD
6602633 And very nice avatar there, by the way.^_^
6602652
Best benevolent bacon-haired angel.
6602654 lol Agreed.^^
glad to see someone else pointing out the obvious mistake Applejack made.
6602654 is it bad i actually want to eat Sunset's hair to be sure that it's NOT bacon?
I like how, as soon as this updatesFEATURED!
I feel like this was a half-hearted attempt.
Oh well. I chuckled, so I can't complain.
Oh my god! I forgot this was a thing!.
Well, back to good old back tracking to pick up on the little details that have been forgotten.
Not bad!
... Still waiting for that "contact" chapter, though.
6602719 Hey, it's just to make sure this story isn't entirely dead. Half a heart is better than no heart, right?
I like this idea. You have my attention.
OH MY GOD A ZOMBIE!
Wait, false alarm, it's just a story.
LOVE. IT. ALOT.
6602819 #dankmemes
6602830
wat memes
there are no memes here
there is no need to be upset
6602835 Don't let your memes be dreams.
The real memes are inside your heart, don't forget that.
6602839
JUST MEME IT
MEMEINATI CONFIRMEMED
WHAT THE MEME
OVERLY LONG MEME
Still waiting for that update though....It's been a long freaking while.
Hey, there you are! Was starting to worry.
Also, this is something I thought of myself, since that's what automation is (supposedly) for: increasing quantity without sacrificing quality.
6602839
Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just, do it! Make! Your memes! Come true!
*11/5/15
Um.... Also, wasn't SSC6K in Season 1?
I, dunno...
Impeccable logic.
Oh damn it, now i got this urge to re-read this and b:ating the heat.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Hah. I just skimmed over the previous chapter in preparation (because, well, it's been a while), and then it turns out it wasn't even needed.
Thank goodness for cartoon physics
Kiiiinda anachronistic; that episode was before the Canterlot Wedding one
6602633
Oh... oh my...
Excellent! Please don't let this story die!
Really, given the processing involved, Andrew's lucky to still be solid after going through the Squeezy, much less alive.
Still, nice to see a more thoughtful resolution to this episode. Though I'm not sure if I want to know why ponies have riding crops.
It's alive!
IT LIVES!!!
Man,,the ending with the girls discussing about AJ violent tendencies with Andrew and adding violence into the love mix was pure gold.
It´s nice, and it perfectly fits the general tone of your work so far.
Applejack is Walking on thin ice, you just do NOT punch Fluttershy's and Twillight's hubby, intentional or not, if you do bad things happen.
6603147 Like anyone has any idea which order the episodes are meant to be in
...I thought the whole point of the episode was that they couldn't take the Flim-Flam Brothers' deal because it would undercut their margins too much, not because they were strictly technophobic. They did ask for a ridiculous 75-25 split, after all. (FAKE EDIT: Yep, quote straight from the ep: "Applejack: Cider sales keep our business afloat through the winter. We'd lose Sweet Apple Acres if we agreed to this.")
Still, though, great writing all around. Glad to have you back!
6603606
Sure, but without any apples, the Flim Flam brothers had no business either.
6603617
...Well, no, actually. Again, straight from the episode: "Flim: Don't worry, everypony, there are plenty of apples in Equestria. We'll find some others and make more cider than all of Ponyville can drink!" So it wasn't "Sweet Apple Acres apples or the highway."
6603673
Come now. Everyone knows that all apple farms in Equestria are owned by some relatives of the Apple Family. You don't mess with The Family. Bad things happen when you mess with The Family
6603689
Lol, fair enough.
6603689 this comment made me realize just how much we need a equestrian mafia story involving the apples.
6603147 I think they were reminiscing past episodes... That's why we saw Chrysalis.
6603673 The apple business in Equestria is basically solely owned by the Apple family. Unless there is any evidence to state otherwise, all Apple orchards are operated by cousins and other extended family.
6603913
It's been done. Well. I've seen some comics go that way, anyway.
http://emlan.deviantart.com/art/ponykoma-apple-acres-257095158
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/22/15137.jpg
6603063 Hey, I meant it to be crappy! I meant it to be a parody of all the bad HiE fics! And then it turned into this!
And people still want more! I just don't understand humans sometimes...
The Cider Episode has been debated over and again, so I'll be brief: The Flim-Flam brothers had no interest in being the Apples' equals. Whatever alternative that could have been made, they wouldn't have been interested if they didn't come out on top. The episode with the tonic is proof enough that they are not interested in genuine business.
If it were anypony else, Andrew would have a point.
6604406 Flim and Flam = Disney
They steal everything they can and beat the original creator down into the dirt while dancing on their grave.
No wait... that's Microsoft...
No wait... that's Edison...
No wait... that's Big Pharma...
No wait... that's... eh, pretty much everyone who can get away with it.
6604142 You made Chrysalis somewhat sympathetic and then a human's lover.
You should have known the fanbois you'd acquire, you poor fool.
I follow along for the trolling, of course.
6604123 The Apple Mafia.
I love that little comic.
6602939 And then China gets involved...
... and you get poisoned baby formula and dog food as well as toys with toxic paint and costume jewelry made with cadmium and lead.