Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Canterlot Boutique

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Canterlot Boutique

---

Dear Rarity,

Oh, so I guess that one costume design gig in Manehattan was enough of a thanks for giving you the key that unlocked your Rainbow Power? You just go and hire some other shallow manager for your new store?

Fine, I see how it is.

Sincerely,
Coco Pommel

---

Attention Canterlot shoppers:

Please note the store signage clearly states Canterlot Boutique, not Canterlot Buffet. We had one mare come in who wanted to eat the Princess Dress. What was her name; Tumblrina... Tumble Hooves...Whoa Nelly... We never did catch it.

We pointed her in the direction of a Haywatchers.

Thank you, and we apologize for any inconvenience.

-Canterlot Boutique Management

---

Dear Rarity,

I stood in line for hours to see your store, and I can safely say that it wasn't worth the weight.

Sincerely,
Tumblrina

---

Dear Twilight,

I've had it with this damn town. If Rarity's new store showed us one thing, it's that we're all obsessed with being princesses.

So like, can I move in with you? Because that's an awfully big castle you've got there, to have all to yourself.

Love Sincerely,
Moondancer

Author's Note:

So, when can I sleep on the sidewalk to get my new $100 stylus?

Comments

[Admiral Biscuit]

And so it goes.

[The Grey Pegasus]

To be fair, Coco is in Manehattan, and Rarity likely wanted someone from Canterlot.

Plus apparently Coco shows up in the grand opening scene, but I haven't rewatched to confirm.

[Spartan-Guy 88]

You wanna bet that one of the articles in the Cosmare magazine is entitled: Princess Twilight's Guide to Sex Positions with Friends?

[JimboTex]

Dear Rarity,

I stood in line for hours to see your store, and I can safely say that it wasn't worth the weight.

Sincerely,

Tumblrina

That pun was bad, and you should feel bad.

[Clem]

Wait, what $100 stylus? Did they try to forget about the iWatch a bit to well or something?

[euphgeek]

6419030 I just rewatched it, and Coco does not show up at all in the entire episode.

[Reddened Chaos]

6419167 She actually IS going to be returning in an upcoming episode. I believe it's two weeks from now...

[ShadowLDrago]

Sincerely,
Coco Pommel

In her defense, you're working in Manehattan, she was working in Canterlot.

Also, I knew that face would become a meme. Also, is it me, or was that deadpan pony who's more monotone than Maud sound like Raven from Teen Titans, another role of Tara Strong's?

[The Grey Pegasus]

6419167
Weird. Someone said she was in the crowd. Maybe they mis-identified one of the ponies.

[euphgeek]

6419188 So I've "herd". Get it? Herd? Hahaha! *Gets shot*

6419205 The only named ponies I've seen that I recognized from previous episodes were Jet Set, Upper Crust and Fleur Dis Lee.

[Bahamut Omega]

6419189
I caught that too.

[Reddened Chaos]

6419211 I recognized Fleur too. So good to see her.

[meerkat8472]

Moondancer, I don't think you'd like what you'd have to do if you lived with Twilight.

[Sage Probo]

I claim goth/emo pony as my new waifu and you can't have her. SHE IS MINE!

(also, good letters. Keep em going)

[Duplexxx]

6419417

brandishes Shotgun*

the goth girl is coming with me Chump! back away so u might live to see another day!

[Dragonwaz]

6419364 remember it's not molestation if it's wanted, it's foreplay.

[Sage Probo]

6419435 you wanna start something, dud? *pulls out Winchester* i'm game.

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Rarity,

Make Twilight a model instead of me? I'm insulted!

Sincerely,
Fluttershy

[meerkat8472]

6419466 Yeah, I remembered after I commented that this Moondancer didn't mind that stuff.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

6419617 Dear Fluttershy,

I thought you hated being a model?

Sincerely,
Rarity

[MixMassBasher]

6419651 Dear Rarity,
I have experience at least compared to that Pathetic Purple Princess. You could have at least asked?
Or you could send Photo Finish upon that Bitch.

Sincerely,
Fluttershy

[SuperPinkBrony12]

6419783 Dear Fluttershy,

You are not a princess, you wouldn't understand the appeal Twilight has.

Sincerely,
Rarity

[Captain Olimar]

Dear Rarity,
I stood in line for hours to see your store, and I can safely say that it wasn't worth the weight.
Sincerely,
Tumblrina

worth the weight.

[DagaYemar]

Dear Rarity,

A line of dresses based on the Princesses, eh? Commemorating the sun, the stars, and some random-ass window in the palace? I see how it is.

WELL F@CK YOU TOO! Where's MY dress? You have snubbed the wrong alicorn, bitch.

- Princess Cadence

[Harmony Charmer]

Ha, Coco's letter made me snicker. She'll be coming up in two weeks, though, so we don't have to worry about it.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Dear Rarity,

You know you can't just use my image for free. You have to pay me... royalties!!! ZING!

Seriously though, send me what you owe, because I can drop the sun on your store if I feel like it.

~Princess Celestia

[Smitty91]

6419189 That IS Raven from Teen Titans, I'm sure of it.

[ShadowLDrago]

6420616

Awesome.

[Blitz the Dragon]

Whoa Nelly is my favorite fan name for that pony at the end. I lost my shit when she showed up.

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Sassy Saddles,

Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle requests your presence. She has taken a liking to you and wishes to recruit you to her stable. Denying her request is unwise, not to mention impossible. Miss Moondancer has already graciously accepted Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's generous offer and could not be more unconscious happy. In fact, the method of the recruitment of Miss Moondancer went so well that Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle decided to use the same method to recruit you as well. However, since it took so long for the spell to activate against Miss Moondancer, she decided to enhance the effectiveness of the contact-activated knockout spell. Which, by Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's deadly accurate calculations, should have knocked you out two sentences ago. She should be behind you now to collect you. I will see you soon, and I swear you will have the time of your life.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and stable cleaner,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

---

~KBO.

[drone_r0m-3]

Dear Rarity,

I stood in line for hours to see your store, and I can safely say that it wasn't worth the weight.

Sincerely,

Tumblrina

orig11.deviantart.net/4c73/f/2011/306/c/6/rainbow_dash___table_flip_by_cptofthefriendship-d4ewbb3.png

[kooarbiter]

im pretty sure they photoshopped whoa nelly in last minute as a response to that fat shaming video a while back that boogie responded to

whoa nelly, you're fat, I'm not going to sugarcoat it because you'll eat that too

[Jman14102]

Dear Sassy Sandals,

What's the big idea?! I pay you all those bits to make sure everypony is equal when it comes to fashion and you still manage to fuck up!?
Watch your back, you bitch.
============
Warm Regards,
S. G.

[Sparrow9612]

6420616 - Its not Tara Strong, surprisingly. Goth Pony was voiced by Andrea Libman. Damn good impression she did though:

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/12/978120__safe_screencap_text_credits_spoiler-colon-s05e14_canterlot+boutique_voice+actors.png

[Smitty91]

6421844 Did she do Maud's voice too, because they sound alike.

[Sparrow9612]

6423824 - According to the wiki, Ingrid Nilson voiced Maud.

[Scarheart]

Dear Rarity,

Did ye perchance see a whale in yer boutique?

Regards,
Captain Ahab

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Rarity,

Have Ze seen my brother Fashion Plate. Hez needs his meds again

Sincerely,
Photo Finish

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Rarity,

Have you seen a whale sized pony?
She was suppose to help promote my Thrift Shop just down the road.

Sincerely,
"Macklemore"

[ferret]

Dearest Coco Pommell,

I thoroughly sympathize with your earnest entreaty. Now shut up and go make me some coffee.

[Lonewolf78]

Dear Rarity

Did you see Fashion Plate at your opening? That's my horse.

Sincerely

Rolf

Best I could come up with. :P

[Plotbuster]

Dear Rarity,

My herdmates Sunflower and Darkheart came back from your boutique sale demanding I worship them like princesses.

My jaw is still sore.

Thanks for nothing,

Pony Joe

[articunos bitch]

You just go and hire some other shallow manager for your new store?
Fine, I see how it is.
Sincerely,
Coco Pommel

I thought the exact same thing. And it gets worse with Made in Manehatten.

We had one mare come in who wanted to eat the Princess Dress. What was her name; Tumblrina... Tumble Hooves...Whoa Nelly...

Let's just call her tumblr. No need to insult Derpy.

I stood in line for hours to see your store, and I can safely say that it wasn't worth the weight.
Sincerely,
Tumblrina

Shut up, you're not Gabe Newll.

I've had it with this damn town. If Rarity's new store showed us one thing, it's that we're all obsessed with being princesses.
So like, can I move in with you? Because that's an awfully big castle you've got there, to have all to yourself.
Love Sincerely,
Moondancer

It's populated by Hasbro's target market.

[Streakofscarlet]

Dear Rarity,
Oh, so I guess that one costume design gig in Manehattan was enough of a thanks for giving you the key that unlocked your Rainbow Power? You just go and hire some other shallow manager for your new store?
Fine, I see how it is.
Sincerely,
Coco Pommel

Um, Coco? AKA Ms. I-received-a-life-changing-opportunity-from-Rarity-as-well-as-a-job-that-didn't-make-me-feel-absolutely-miserable-but-gave-nothing-more-than-a-FUCKING-SPOOL-OF-THREAD-in-return? You're not one to talk.