//------------------------------//
// It Ain't Easy Being Breezies 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

It Ain't Easy Being Breezies

Dear Diary,

Today, Fluttershy has convinced the town to help a bunch of smaller, weaker creatures. Everything goes according to plan at first, and then as usual, Spike fucks it up royally.

So wait, if the air is too gentle they can't move, if the air is too fast they're knocked off guard, they're thrown off by a stray leaf, and acorns can be lethal to them? What the hell do they even need this pollen for anyway? Did we try to figure that out before helping them?

So these things can barely fly. Say, Scootaloo, are you related to these things? I'm sorry but ecologically Breezies should have died out. They're just utterly helpless. Seriously, if one stray windblown leaf is enough to disrupt the entire process, it makes you wonder what'd happen if something REALLY went wrong. We just need to stop helping these little shits.

All in all, I'm pretty fucking sick of helping pathetic, helpless creatures. Ever hear of this thing called natural selection? Hm? Where creatures too weak to sustain themselves die off, making way for more worthy species? I'm kinda waiting for that to happen to the damned earth ponies.

Lastly, Rainbow wants to find out what it's like to be a griffon? Well, let's see here. You piss everyone off and then leave after just one day. There. You now know what it's like, so there's no need to turn you into one. Unless this is a really bad attempt at getting into bed with Gilda. I can turn you into a stallion if you want. On one condition. Don't pretend you don't know what that condition is.

At least you can accept as a form of consolation, that after meeting Seabreeze, that you are no longer the gayest being I've met. I mean, dayum, he actually had a kid with somebreezie. That's impressive. Just fix that fucking hair. Yeesh.

- Princess Twilight Sparkle





Dear Twilight,

Thanks for your observation. Next time you fall off a cliff in the Everfree Forest, we will keep in mind that it's just nature's way of saying it's time for you to go.

Sincerely,
Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash