Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Hiatus Bonus Chapter: Discord's New Business

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Hiatus Bonus Chapter

THE FOAL FREE PRESS
DISCORD'S NEW BUSINESS

Sensing that there wasn't much he could do around the castle without either annoying Celestia, making Luna moan with lust, or sometimes both, Lord of Chaos Discord decided to form a new business venture.

“I noticed that Pegasi have flying stunt shows with the Wonderbolts and such, and unicorns have duels and magic acts, and I came to the realization that Earth ponies don't really have a unique form of entertainment. So that's something I set out to rectify.”

Two months ago, Discord created Equine Wrestling Entertainment, or the EWE. He invited Earth ponies of all backgrounds, regardless of Cutie Mark, to come and train to become professional wrestlers. Shows were filled with 1 on 1 matches, and tag team matches. Add in the flair and pyrotechnics of the wrestler's entrances, and it became a smash hit with all races of ponies.

“We've even got ponies who are coming to us from entirely unrelated career paths. We've got the Rated R Gardener, Hedge. We've got the former basement designer, The Undermaker. Even the former Awesome Porn Star, The Jizz. It's a great lineup, and I can't wait to see how far we can go with this.”

But when it got big enough, the EWE inevitably got its critics.

“I now hear all the time, that pro wrestling is fake, that it doesn't hurt and that we're nothing more than glorified stunt ponies. To all the neighsayers out there, I say this; you don't fake gravity. My ponies go out there week in, week out until they can't do it anymore. They are fantastic athletes, and I'll continue to schedule shows as long as it brings in the bits.” Discord offered.

Addendum: Twilight Sparkle got in contact with us just before the printing of this issue, and claimed that you could indeed, fake gravity.

Author's Note:

Yeah, this isn't Part 2 of the Chrysalis comic. That's still in-progress. This was sudden inspiration and I had to do it.

Comments

[117dragon]

That is all

[Tatsurou]

Hilarious! I can totally picture Discord starting a wrestling competition.

[firespacer]

lol Twilight

[Phazon]

Really? I thought earth ponies at least had rodeos, like the one Applejack competed in in Canterlot.

[JimboTex]

This was sudden inspiration and I had to do it.

Would you say that this fic was the inspiration, especially in light of the name you gave to the ponified version of The Miz?

Also:

Addendum: Twilight Sparkle got in contact with us just before the printing of this issue, and claimed that you could indeed, fake gravity.

Dat The Crystal Empire: Part 2 reference.

[ChilliConCharlie]

We've got the former basement designer, The Undermaker.

alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/happy-i-see-what-you-did-there-l.png

[Swashbucklist]

The Jizz is the best OC ever. Of all time.

[Arcanist Ascendant]

Gravity is for losers.

Twilight Sparkle rules.

[milesprower06]

2518417 Lol no, but thanks I'll have to check that out.

Pro wrestling was the thing to watch in middle school, but mom wouldn't let me. I watched it for about 2 months in 2004.

What got me back into it was the few references in the Pony anthologies.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

I unfournately agree that the wrestling shows are fake. They just don't do it for me largely because like with any other sport in my mind it's all about a bunch of guys (and possibly girls) fighting for some silly prize that they'll likely lose and an amount of money they'll likely blow in a week.

I do hope we see more from you on the comics those are awesome. The second one should probably be written from the perspective of another mane six member like maybe Applejack and have her complain about Twilight's decisions.

Am I the only one who has a problem with Twilight's leadership? Seriously what did she ever do earn the title? Everyone knows I'm a much better leader and I'll buck anyone who says otherwise.

[Mecha G]

How much of the IDW comics do plan on covering?

[Sinful Pickle]

THE JIZZ

[keaton-furman-prower]

Addendum: Twilight Sparkle got in contact with us just before the printing of this issue, and claimed that you could indeed, fake gravity.

Who are we going to believe, Discord or Twilight?

[Ausar]

I can honestly say this is my favorite chapter. It's funny without really being crude, In fact I would love a spin-off series focusing on Discords new busniess

[Chuck Baleigh]

And then the EWE got competitors, like the WGW (World Gryphon Wrestling) and TNA (Total Nonstop Alicorn Wrestling).

[DarthMaul22]

But how does one fake gravity?

[Samurai_Shippo]

I saw the title and instantly thought sex shop.
Thank Luna it was wrestling.

[Bookmark88]

Unrelated chapter is better than no chapter. Just Keep up the good work, but don't overwork yourself.

[The Walker]

The undertaker is not amused by the reference.

1.bp.blogspot.com/-kTRevb9R0Vs/UHJijhUzunI/AAAAAAAAHo8/mHtmenZD2nA/s1600/the-taker-undertaker-30986676-1024-768.jpg

[milesprower06]

2518571 Welp, that's it.

I'm not going to EVER enjoy another fight scene in a movie because it's all fake and scripted.

[Blitz the Dragon]

2518571 Don't make me get Dr. D to slap you around. x3

[Zytharros]

Yup. I like this one.
I hope someone turns this into a thing.

[Aurora Dimmet]

2518571

No really? Everyone knows it's fake, you only have to watch one show to see that within like five minutes. You don't open-palm slap a 400lb muscleman's chest and send him flying three feet backwards from it.

Point is, it kinda looks like a bunch of dudes beating each other's asses, so it's entertaining.

[TheAspiringWriter93]

2518548
I think you know...

[SuperPinkBrony12]

2519177 There's a difference between acting in a movie and beating the living tar out of someone just for the sake of entertainment. But it is my opinion and I trust you will respect it! Or does love and tolerate mean nothing to you?

[milesprower06]

2519543 My point is that if I had to choose between the action of a movie fight scene, and the action of a wrestling match, I'll take wrestling, because it's live, there are no second takes, and most importantly, the adrenaline they get from the crowd (that's why I LOVE Edge's entrance).

Your opinion is respected. To be honest, I don't like it for the matches. I like it for the promos (rivalries and trash talk between superstars), the pryotechnics, and the entrances.

[StreakTheFox]

Ya know, this story isn't on hiatus if you keep adding chapters to it...

[milesprower06]

2519721 Every single time I put a chapter out, people say this.

There have been 6 hiatus chapters so far. One is based on the comics. The other five have been on a complete whim.

As I say every time, the On Hiatus status will remain until Season 4 begins.

[averagejoey2000]

Its hard to tell what's gay in life. Like wrestling. That's two guys fighting for a belt. On top of each other. * pause for laughter* In their underwear.

[Draconis187]

I would laugh harder at the names if I didn't fear of spontaneously combusting.

[StreakTheFox]

2519727
But, that still doesn't make sense.
Hiatus should mean that you have dropped the story for a time, and will not be coming back to it until after a lengthy pause.
But what you're doing is still posting chapters in the story, meaning you're actively working on it. Thus, the confusion comes in with that, and that describes that the fic is incomplete. Yes, I understand how the "main" story itself would have to be on hiatus because of the lack of episode material to work with, but if you're actively working on the fic then it should be marked as "incomplete."

I dunno, I guess I'm really stingy about this stuff maybe it's a sign that I might be able to start working on my own fics again soon.

[Jioplip]

Don't let Discord trick you into underestimating him.

Awesome chapter as always, and i love me some Discord antics.

[milesprower06]

2520074 Agreed. I just imagine the announcer introducing these ponies as they make their entrances, and I lose it.

[milesprower06]

2519543 And not to worry, you not only have my respect as a reader, but as an author as well, as one of your stories in particular has gotten my enjoyment.

[MrNumbers]

It's impressive choreography, and something tells me that whilst the Jizz can't fake gravity, he can fake many other things...

[Mitsubishi Colt]

And yet another awesome chapter. Dischord starting a real event that's not just chaos? Wow...

Also, Twilight Sparkle is ingenious as ever.
This comment was not 100% founded by the new Twilight Sparkle official statement duty. Nope, not at all.

2518738

You tell it to look the other way?

[Bud Grazer]

The Undermaker ?

Ooooooooh YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS !

Fun chapter

[MillenniumFalsehood]

2519543 I for one respect your opinion. If you don't like it, then you're quite entitled to that opinion; there are thousands of forms of entertainment out there, and nobody is going to share the same tastes with any one person exactly.

I'd like to offer that this form of entertainment is a lot like a stage play. The actors in it get paid to pretend they're wrestling, so you get the benefits of a real fight without as much possibility of someone getting hurt. Just like I wouldn't want to see Les Miserables played out with real poor people and prostitutes being mistreated and real soldiers shooting real rebels, I'm really put off by UFC and other brutal fighting which is quite real and, despite rules, still has people getting the crap beat out of them and sometimes hospitalized for no other reason than one dude wants to prove he's more "macho" than another. The WWE allows someone like me to watch a fight which I know isn't real quite comfortably, without the ridiculous chest-beating of UFC. I don't actually watch it, though. I'm more into documentaries, science shows, and of course MLP. But I can see why someone would enjoy it and I empathize with their position, and I hope this allows you to appreciate more fully the position of someone who does enjoy WWE.

[TheAspiringWriter93]

You can fake gravity?? Ok, good to know. Now, to finish my zero-point energy module for my fake city floating in space encapsulated in a giant dome Syndrome costume.

What? There's no city floating in space! Y'all are crazy.
I'm not crazy... not crazy...

[FanOfMostEverything]

I like it. I like it a lot. How long until Apple Bloom tries to sign up?

[foolyourself]

applejack mudwrestling pinkie pie?
Unf.

[milesprower06]

2524318 I've been waiting for someone to comment on Hedge, lol.

YOU THINK YOU GROW ME.

*cue insanely awesome metal*

[TheAspiringWriter93]

2522509
I would, but it's 1:30 in the morning. Maybe at a more reasonable hour.

Granted, I will be attempting to beat your time, just not when Luna is going, "Thou knave! Get thee hence to thy bed and fall to slumber until the morn!"

[McKnyte]

I find the lack of Macho Mare, Candy Savage... disappointing

[milesprower06]

2526318 This may not be the last WWE-themed parody, because those are genius.

[McKnyte]

2526338

Can you smell what the Wok is cookin'?

[milesprower06]

2526379 Damnit, and I kept on trying to think of something involving Tom. HA!

[Joseph Raszagal]

Overly dramatic wrestling + ponies = you have my attention . How much ya charging for a ringside seat to see Hoof Hogan throw down against "The Rowdy Scolt", Roddy Piper? Then again, that patented poke to the eyes might be a bit trickier to pull off without fingers. Hmm... same goes for Ponykind's jaw-grab with Mr. Socko .

Damn these hooves!

At least Big Mac would make for a pretty believable Cheval the Giant .

[WorldWalker128]

I wish I could thumb up a chapter.

[Gamer Script]

Wait, what about Rybuck,or Haythe Slater? Or even Sin Carta?

(Look, its like 4:00 AM here, I'm tired as hell. Be lucky I was able to achieve this much smartassness. The well's officially run dry for tonight. I bet Twilight wishes her well wasn't the same.)