Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Hiatus Bonus Chapter: Human Convention Attacked, Evacuated

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Hiatus Bonus Chapter

THE FOAL FREE PRESS
HUMAN CONVENTION ATTACKED, EVACUATED

Hundreds of con-attending ponies were evacuated from a hotel in northern Fillinois over the weekend. After multiple attendees complained of a foul odor, security personnel found an improvised chlorine bomb in a bucket, placed in a stairwell on the ninth floor, and proceeded to evacuate the hotel into the freezing temperatures of the night. The convention disrupted was the annual Midwest SkinFest, which celebrates literature, performance, and art revolving around the mythical "human" creatures, or homo sapiens, which have been confirmed to exist in a parallel universe by Ponyville's own Princess Twilight Sparkle. Members of this community are commonly referred to as "skinnys" or "homos".

Convention chair Lyra Heartstrings has released a statement that the convention would not be issuing refunds, as the evacuation lasted only about two hours, and was caused by an unforeseen criminal act. To whomever carried out this terrorist act, Ms. Heartstrings had this to say:

"It's very unfortunate that somepony thought that this attack would be funny or acceptable. I hope whoever did this is caught, prosecuted, and jailed, where their cellmate will introduce them to the meaning of 'fapping'."

Comments

[Alaborn]

You should have included mention of ponies milling around outside in their human costumes.

[Phenrys]

Members of this community are commonly referred to as "skinnys" or "homos".

I lost it! Thanks for the laugh.

[Gapeagle]

Skinfest??!?! Yes! Best thing ever!

[Crazy Eye]

Homos are gay.

[Blitz the Dragon]

Don't know why I didn't see this coming. Ah well, it was funny. This chapter, I mean; not the incident.

[Longhaul]

But what about the skinsuiters?

[SuperPinkBrony12]

5364196 i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/007/666/_57c8a1a431a592af806925e57258202f.png

[Crazy Eye]

5364263 LOL, my brother would say this in mmorpgs and start flame wars.

[Razalon The Lizardman]

Members of this community are commonly referred to as "skinnys" or "homos".

Or humares.

[Princess Cadence]

I think I missed an announcement. What's this referencing?

[kooarbiter]

oh yes! I was going to tell you about this story once I heard it, but i forgot

damn you facebook, for toying with my short attention span

[The Grey Pegasus]

Man, sometimes I'm never sure if I want to laugh along with it or... not. I've chosen a simple amused feeling.

5364317
Something about an attack on a con. Wasn't a pony convention IIRC, though.

[Scarheart]

I'll bet Lyra was disappointed.

[ThunderWonder]

What kind of person would go out of their way to do something like that?

[Red Bomber]

What kind of convention was actually attacked? Did, that really happen? :( I mean I know that most of these chapters parodying something that happened in the real world but still...

[PonyTom]

5364443
I imagine someone with a lot of free time on their hands and a lack of concern about going to jail for a while just to make a point of some sort.

[MythrilMoth]

5364317 Some idiot gassed a furry convention.

[JimboTex]

5364505

Yes, it really happened.

[Neko Majin C]

To the Foal Free Press,

There is nothing mythical about humans. "Mythical" implies something that is idealized. There is nothing to be idealized about humans. Humans are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

That is why I now serve our glorious Princess Twilight Sparkle. She is a wonderful mistress and a million times kinder and grander than any human. And only half as maniacal. Thank the one true Princess, Princess Twilight Sparkle, that I no longer identify myself as a human, they are horrible creatures.

Signed Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal trans-species slave,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

---

KBO.

[articunos bitch]

Members of this community are commonly referred to as "skinnys" or "homos".
"homos".
"homos".

I don't need to point it out, but I still had to.

Convention chair Lyra Heartstrings

I hope whoever did this is caught, prosecuted, and jailed, where their cellmate will introduce them to the meaning of 'fapping'."

This story is my first time hearing about this. This story is also where I learned about DashCon too. I should get out more. ...Nah!

[Phazon]

5364697

I no longer identify myself as a human,

So... what, did Princess Sparky turn you into a more subservient creature?

[Neko Majin C]

5364740 No. That would be too much of a bother for her. Also I would not fit in my maid outfit. I am still physically in the body of a human, I just do not identify myself as one. The species that I was born into does not define who I am.

[Phazon]

5364804
I see. You have to save up to pay for that species reassignment spell. And the replacement maid outfit.

[Neko Majin C]

5364822 Yes, out of my own pocket. And it will take a long time too. Mainly because I am a slave and do not get paid anything.

[Onyx Heart]

What is this talking about? You should do a video on the whole Lizard Squad DDoS attacks.

[Nyerguds]

I knew it would be about this

[Sollace]

5364804
So um, what do you identify yourself as?

5364305
Much better

5364225
There weren't that many. The real dedicated ponies shave.

--Sollace

[Magatsu Orpheus]

5364317
Some asshole gassed a hotel hosting a furry convention with chlorine. Assuming it wasn't an incompetent janitor, anyway.
Nobody died, luckily, but 19 people are in hospitals

[Shumiry]

That was hilarious! As soon as I read the title I knew, and you delivered. Fortunately I was on hold at the time so my laughing in the mic didn't disturb anybody.

Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!

[Clem]

I bash SkinFags as much as the rest of you ponies, but what us wrong with this guy?!

[PrincessAJ]

makes me wonder who put the bomb there in the first place.

also:

"I hope whoever did this is caught, prosecuted, and jailed, where their cellmate will introduce them to the meaning of 'fapping'."

oh god XD

[Neko Majin C]

5365487 A buck has to have some secrets.

[Jade Defender]

5364697

(Merriam Webster Dictionary)

myth·i·cal
adjective \ˈmi-thi-kəl\

: based on or described in a myth

: existing only in the imagination
Full Definition of MYTHICAL
1
: based on or described in a myth especially as contrasted with history

2
usually mythical : existing only in the imagination : fictitious, imaginary <constructed a mythical all-star team>
(The author's use)

3
usually mythic : having qualities suitable to myth : legendary <the twilight of a mythic professional career — Clayton Riley>
(Your use)

Both uses are acceptable, but mythical doesn't always mean idealized. If it did, all mythological (mythological is a subset of mythical) villains would be considered idealized. Context is the key.

[Sollace]

5366310
Aw... Was hoping for Unicorn

--Sollace

[Neko Majin C]

5366473 I could never be a Unicorn. Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle told me so.

[Neko Majin C]

5366467 That is what is so great about definitions. If used correctly, they can be used to suit anyone's needs.

[JustAnAcquaintance]

honestly, the last three chapters i knew what they were going to be about as soon as i read the chapter tittle.

it was cute at first but now these are just stupid and predictable, the worst kind of predictable.

[milesprower06]

5368983 No one's forcing you to keep reading. As long as the majority of feedback remains positive, these bonus chapters will continue.

[blazikenking]

5364844 *makes a secret donation of 1,000,000 bits* this should be a good start.

[Neko Majin C]

5376868 Yes, it will be. He owes me rent. Plus he needs to pay for all the bread and water I feed him to keep his worthless, sorry ass alive. And the cleaning supplies he uses in his mediocre attempts to keep this place clean. And the clothes I force him to wear so I don't have to look at his gross, hairless, naked ape body. Though they don't seem to humiliate him as much I had hoped. Maybe that's because I don't allow him outside.

[blazikenking]

5377772 What about making him a her, Ms. Sparkle? I think maid uniforms look better on females than males. I'm not saying to make him into a pony (unless you want to). Sure, you might have to have another maid uniform made, but if Rarity can use her as a mannequin for future projects, she might be willing to make it for free, and quality stuff for free is always awesome.

[Neko Majin C]

5377988 Why would I want to make him a part of the master gender? Besides, it's more fun to humiliate males.

[Phazon]

5378173
Setting aside the fact that alicorns are all-female, I wouldn't say there's a master gender here. After all, wife tossing is fast becoming one of Equestria's most popular sports.

[milesprower06]

5391398 Glad you're enjoying it!

[Kiryu]

5364305
ARGH, THE FEROCIOUS LIZARDCREATURE HAS A SANTA HAT!!!

[Shining Dawn]

5380516 That doesn't mean twilight can think their is. She's believe anything that makes her superior.

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Lyra let them off kindly...

[Kage no Brony]

5364675

Oh my gosh.

It might just be playing too much Payday: The Heist, but this seems like something the characters would pull...

[Pony_Person_123]

Did something similar to this actually happen at one of the brony cons?

[milesprower06]

8724318
No, I believe it was at a furry convention, IIRC.