Simple Ways
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Simple Ways
Dear Diary,
Seeing Rarity win the position of Ponyville Days Pony of Ceremonies made me realize three things. One, that they probably could have fit the word pony in there a few more times, like, Pony of Ceremonies for the Ponies of Ponyville. Two, that I should really start renting Spike out as manual labor. Now that I think about it, it would be a great source of income. Three, to make a replica of Ponyville that perfect, Rarity has to have a macro fetish.
So she sets out with planning, and gives us our assigned tasks. Although I could have refused, because royalty doesn't have to do shit if they don't want to. I also love how she wants to bring elegance to a place started by rednecks. I guess she doesn't remember how we tried to bring simplicity to Canterlot not once, but twice, and see how well both of those times turned out.
So most likely against my better judgement, I go with her to the train station to meet this 'Trenderhoof' that she's been obsessing over and, hey would you look at that! My tail looks exactly like my mane! Sorry, but Applebloom helped me pull off your style better than you pull off mine. You go off and show him around town, lastly taking him to Sweet Apple Acres, and what do you know, he has absolutely no interest in you. Nope, instead, he's got it hard for AJ. But he managed to be subtly racist to AJ's face, so he's good in my book.
Speaking of you, Applejack, you have spent your entire life obsessing over absolutely everything to do with apples, and now that you've finally got somepony's attention because of that, you're creeped out? So you don't want a sex life outside of Rainbow Dash and your brother? Meanwhile, Fax Machine tells me Rarity flipped the fuck out, and starts going all redneck on us so she can win the heart of Trend. It gets so bad that you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine. But at least you two finally fulfilled some of your dares way back from the sleepover. You combed your mane for once, and she didn't.
But eventually everypony comes to their senses. Amazingly, with all this misplaced love in the air, nopony got laid. Are you freaking kidding me? Even Fax is getting sick of this shit.
- Twilight Sparkle
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Okay, that bit about the dares from "Look Before you Sleep" was perfect! I can't believe no one else has made that connection before.
Most of the rest of it was just a chuckle, but I lost it at that part.
Okay, this might be a stupid question, but what is meant by a macro fetish?
3953003
You're talking about the sleepover episode? That was Look Before You Sleep. Sleepless in Ponyville was the Scootaloo episode where the CMC went on a camping trip with their sisters and Rainbow Dash.
Oh wow, that point about the sleepover is true!
I never would have thought of that! Thank you 
Great chapter
though I wish there wasn't that week delay 
But I had the replies story to tide me over 
Can't wait for the next chapter!
3953119 Just as micro is small-scale, macro is big. It means she has to do things on a huge scale relative to her. Or google it, but it's mostly giant women unless you turn safesearch on. That definition is a bit loose (lolbadpun) but should do for here.
Tell me about it. Would you believe that there was not an abundence of Rarijack ship fics after that episode?
When I saw that replica of Ponyville, I immediately thought "Twilight's Dollhouse"...
The sleepover didn't even occur to me. You're brilliant.
"Speak fer yerself, whippersnapper!" - Granny Smith
"How much of that cider did I drink?" - Trenderhoof
Pony of Ponyville Ceremonies for the Ponies of Ponyville, In Charge of Making Sure the Ponies of Ponyville Know That Everypony Should Pony Pony?
3953119
She wants to stomp around like a giant in her maquette Ponyville
Dear Trenderhoof:
If you were so turned on by Applejack, why didn't you ask Princess Twilight to turn you into an apple?
Your faithful ruler, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: Knife
3954539
And Keaton strikes again. You should make it official and just do "Letters from a Disgruntled Diarch", it can even come in two flavors. Nocturnal and Diurnal.
3953850
So did I.
I blame Kaidan.
I actually blame kaidan fr a lot of things, life is easier that way.
3953119 Macro is the suffix for big, and a fetish is a weird sexual habit. So she has a thing for being bigger than others.
3961646
Macro, like micro, is normally used as a prefix rather than a suffix. Unless used in an MMO, in which case it usually means a set of command chains bound to a single key stroke.
Fetish does have other context uses besides sexual. Rarity could simply have an interest in highly detailed miniatures (a hobby), or like imagining herself as being large and in charge (a fetish, but not necessarily a sexual one). However, in the context of this story, you are probably spot on.
What and no pony questioned that Rarity had a frickin stalker shrine in her boutique complete with a lock of Trenderhoof's hair?
Truthfully, you'd think she'd have learned after Blueblood...
Chapter ninety-four: Simple Ways:
Apple Bloom slip up.
Big Macintosh: The one true redneck of Ponyville.
KBO.
3953731 It was a borderline Rarijack episode for me.
Trenderhoof is the kind of unicorn who would beat an earth pony dude without reason in the morning and fuck an earth pony chick that afternoon on a regular basis.
I'm confused. I feel the pain I get when I hear a pun but these aren't really puns. They're just Weird al titles.