Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Yakity-Sax

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.

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Dear Twilight and "Friends",

Keep mentioning my poor acting skills and you'll find a new home in the dungeons.

Signed,
Princess Celestia

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Dear Pinkie,

If you're so down from not playing that shitty instrument. You could always blow my pipes.

Your headmistress,
Twilight Sparkle

P.S. I highly doubt your mood is because of no longer playing that dang thing. You're in rehab, aren't you?

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Dear Pinkie,

Pop on a joy, ya downer. Or dam bobbies will be after you.

Your British Colt,
Pipsqueak

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Dear Diary,

I just know I've heard Pinkie's yovidaphone music someplace. Can't quite put my hooves on it. Pretty sure it was in the basement of a mansion somewhere.

-Princess Luna

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Dear Princess Twilight,

For Pinkie Pie Appreciation Day must we have sex with Pinkie, too, like in your appreciation day? Because I refuse to stick my muzzle in anything as crazy as her.

Signed,
Spoiled Rich

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Dear Friends of Pink Pony,

So who picking up tab for Pink Pony's sundaes?

Sincerely,
Yak Sweets N Treats

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Dear Pinkie Pie,

When it comes to the art of a musical instrument, there is a term I'd like to familiarize you with.

Woodshedding.

It means to go practice an instrument and hone your skills in private. In a woodshed.

Though in your case we might have to go with an underground bunker.

We'll talk to Rivet, see what he can do.

But again, that means in private. Not in the middle of town, not in an apple orchard, and not at a Wonderbolts race. In. Private.

Sincerely,
Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy

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All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

All Work and no yovidaphone to play makes Pinkie a dull filly.

Author's Note:

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Pinkie Pie,

When it comes to the art of a musical instrument, there is a term I'd like to familiarize you with.

Woodshedding.

It means to go practice an instrument and hone your skills in private. In a woodshed.

Though in your case we might have to go with an underground bunker.

We'll talk to Rivet, see what he can do.

But again, that means in private. Not in the middle of town, not in an apple orchard, and not at a Wonderbolts race. In. Private.

Sincerely,
Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy

Shouldn't it be we'd like to familiarize you with, since it's being written by multiple ponies?

In either case, they're probably right.

As for Spoiled Rich, I probably shouldn't be surprised she cooperate with Twilight's sex crazes. I always knew she was a suck up.

[milesprower06]

9625877
Nope. I had a feeling this one was going to fly over almost everybody's heads.

[Neko Majin C]

To Spoiled,

Do not worry, no one wants you to stick that fishhook you call a muzzle anywhere near their most precious of holes. Holy hell, you could use that putrid proboscis as a can opener. Your taste in attire is gaudy, you smell, as your name implies, spoiled rotten, your voice is annoying, and you look like if I were to touch you, my hand would come back sticky and slimy. You are an offense to all five senses. Now, I know I only mentioned four senses, but you know that thing where you smell something really bad and the smell goes down your throat and you can taste it? That. Therefore, Spoiled, you do not have to worry, not even Pinkie is crazy enough to want you anywhere near her.

Signed Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave who thinks you have a lot of nerve thinking you are worthy of speaking to his Mistress,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[Orphan]

I’m glad I don’t know you author-person. You are an amazing writer, based on YouTube you have an awesome voice, and the way my heart leaps when you make an update? I’m pretty positive I’d be attempting to stalk you/slip love notes to you if I knew you at all. I’m glad I don’t.

[MixMassBasher]

static1.e621.net/data/sample/10/fb/10fbc95bd60d84bab051657e9fb0869a.jpg
https://static1.e621.net/data/sample/10/fb/10fbc95bd60d84bab051657e9fb0869a.jpg

[Coyotek4]

Some just really know how to play the yovidaphone:

[Skip to 1:26]

[Alex Warlorn]

And we're supposed to side with the public health hazard?