Owl's Well That Ends Well
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Owl's Well That Ends Well
Dear Princess Celestia,
Because I've been in Ponyville for quite some time now, I've had to find more ways to entertain myself. So this time, I wanted to see what happens when Fax Machine has a jealous meltdown. I just had to wait for the right opportunity, and opportunity just happened to knock after the meteor shower in the form of an owl. He worked so hard on the picnic at the meteor shower that he slept in the next morning. He freaked when he got up. But my new assistant helped out with his chores. Because of all the hard labor and slave conditioning I've put him through, Fax Machine immediately feared of being replaced. Hey, if Owlowiscious can do a better job than him, I'll just chain him up in the basement and make him send my letters to your lazy ass.
The first step was to put Owlowiscious on an even level with Fax. So I had Rarity make another jewel-encrusted bowtie for him, like the one she made for Fax at the meteor shower. It worked perfectly.
Not only is Owlowiscious good at making other assistants jealous, he can drive that jealousy so far to drive others to vandalism! The thing is, I was planning on having him steal and destroy Opal's mouse toy just to see what would happen, but in his jealous rage, Fax Machine did it instead. I mean, how hilarious is that? Then he found a book of mine that he sneezed in. So I told him I was disappointed in him and left him to feel all alone and unloved. Hysterical, I know!
When I got back to the library later, he was gone. While at first I found it funny, I then realized that I had essentially traded free labor for free labor. What I really wanted was double the free labor, so my owl and I set off to find him. We caught up with him in a cave, about to be violated by another dragon. Imagine that, he can't even get along with his own kind.
Owlowiscious then used his Fucking Awesome Sonar power. I knew Fax Machine was too pathetic to help out, even though dragons are supposed to have great vision during the day, and even better vision at night.
Eh, what the fuck to I care? I have double the labor force now.
Your slave owning former student,
Twilight Sparkle
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Alright, great job and keep going
I laughed at that last line. Hard.
Oh yeah, second post.
not first
Oh my god. While I didn't laugh at this, it certainly does fit with the whole Twilight not so light motif thing this story does have for itself. Great chapter yet again.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-flxAJT8gl-0/T2HGCb_Jy2I/AAAAAAAAEjQ/uTQdVgrShBM/s1600/tumblr_m0uupiOuKD1qzmz70.gif
I honestly have no idea what to say.
Wow. This is fucked up/awesome. I just can't decide which.
The labor has been doubled! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Really, calling him Fax machine is just plain insulting. Those things can do more than just send messages you know. They can also act as scanners, printers and photocopiers. They also can't talk back. Really. Stop insulting our Fax Machines Twilight, you should be nicer to the hardworking machines than that.
Owlowiscious used Fucking Awesome Sonar power.
It's super effective!
It would've been funny, but Fa- ...er, that little dog that follows Twilight around already gets neglected treated like crap far too often by this fandom. It's surprising how many bronies can be jerks under the right circumstances.
1300193
Not sure if trolling or serious.
1300439 Edited that last part. You'd be surprised.
Spike: "This place is filled with mean bronies!"
1300193
And now Spike has been... punched!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
"I knew Fax Machine was too pathetic to help out, even though dragons are supposed to have great vision during the day, and even better vision at night."
at that "Reign of Fire" reference about dragon eyesight; nice pop culture reference. 
I laughed so hard
Twilight is raising her army... and the power of the owl shall be of use...wait doubled? shouldnt that little bird Spike had be somewhere...what was it... peewee? bah all will am sure its somewhere
1300020 By all means spike is better than a Fax Machine
for one hes moble and doesnt require eletric support he doesnt break down (much) also he can do chores though now someoen else can do that for him... hmm still he has more use then a fax that and hes funny when inside a maids outfit 
(am sure everyone can come up with far more humilating outfits why else would rarity show interest 
) Anyway back to the point Fax machines are usless compared to spike I say 
Hurray for free labor!
1300827 Spike do not get peewee until season 2 in the dragon migration episode.
Haha you should've ended with a
Twilight being the horny ghetto ass McBitchy pants that she is.
"Oh well Princess, Owl's well that ends okay so I'll end this with a fuck you but have a nice day"
Not really relevant to the story but I think it would make a great 8 Mile reference
1299950
That's technically a bannable offense, you know.
Ha may face~!
1300193 Well you'll be happy to know that "Crystal Empire" gave him some much needed love.
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
I am very proud of you. I always thought you'd spend your life stuck with only one slave, but now you have two! As my sister would say, the slaves have been doubled!
Your slave-trading monarch, Princess Celestia.
I love how she calls Spike Fax Machine.
"So the other day Fax and I.."
OMG!!!
Fax. That is the BEST name ever.
Twilight the slave driver... I can see it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
1299949 So did I!
R
Remember when I said Nazi Twi was best Twi? I take that back.
I've been reading this for well over an hour, and it keeps getting funnier!
I've also taken a liking to Fax Machine's name. Suits him well.
Lucky Twilight, I wish I had two slaves. I know just the two I would want too.
NOT Twilight, I would be her slave.
KBO.
4170929 No, you ARE Twilight...Shouldn't everypony be your slaves?
4207845 She's not really Twilight, she just stole her face and is wearing it as her own. Duh. Like that Nicolas Cage movie.
THREAT DETECTED. ENGAGE.
Whoa whoa, Keisha. Let's see where this goes. After all, it's just the first season.
STAND-BY MODE ACTIVATED.
1300492
Yeah, I gotta agree with you, the fandom is a big fat bully to spike, now as a Spike fan I may be over glazing some things but hear me out. If mlp was about humans and spike was used for just messaging, being the butt of jokes and stuck in a one way relationship would you get angry that spike was being mistreated because of the fact he is now a human and not before cause he was a mythical, fictional dragon?
And here is another thought that disturbs me. Some sparity fans find it funny and humorous that spike. One of the key characters in the shipping is being mistreated in other stories
And a fact that I have not seen implemented but stills begs to question. Are there people out their who think that spike being named called and used as a slave is all good but when he is ruthlessly murdered continuously for fun (in this theoretical universe he is immortal because of Celestia) by twilight or maybe forced as a output for her sexual desires they will get angry?
I seek answers for my questions and I ask that you reply
4170929 yeah ... the lab experiments and freak-outs don't bother you in the least? seriously luna all the way she's at least reliable and she has free time even if its at night when it'll be harder to see but....
maybe she'll provide free bat wings and eyes?
also no celestial manipulation so that's a mega plus.
I knew Spike was useless slave! My life is complete!